Jay Baruchel movie quotes

113 quotes from 5 movies

How to Train Your Dragon (2010) as Hiccup

View Quote [last lines, voice-over] This is Berk. It snows nine months of the year, and hails the other three. Any food that grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here are even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies, or parrots... we have... dragons!

View Quote [voice-over] Most people would leave. Not us. We're Vikings. We have stubbornness issues.

View Quote Oh, the gods hate me. Some people lose their knife or their gun. No, not me; I manage to lose an ENTIRE dragon!?

All 40 quotes from Hiccup »

How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014) as Hiccup

View Quote [first lines; narrating] This is Berk. The best kept secret this side of, well, anywhere. Granted, it may not look like much, but this wet heap of rock packs more than a few surprises. Life here is amazing, just not for the faint of heart. You see, where most folks enjoy hobbies like whittling or needlepoint, we Berkians prefer a little something we like to call... DRAGON RACING!

View Quote [narrating] Now dragons used to be a bit of a problem here, but that was 5 years ago. Now they've all moved in. And really, why wouldn't they? We have custom stables, "all you can eat" feeding stations, a full-service dragon wash, even top-of-the-line fire prevention, if I do say so myself.

View Quote [Toothless, under the control of Drago's Bewilderbeast, advances toward Hiccup threateningly] Toothless, come on. What's the matter with you? No, no, no, no. Come on, what are you doing? Knock it off! STOP! SNAP OUT OF IT! Toothless, no! TOOTHLESS! DON'T!! STOOOOP!!! [sees Stoick running towards him] DAD!!! NO!!! [Stoick pushes him out of the way]

All 37 quotes from Hiccup »

This Is the End (2013) as Jay Baruchel

View Quote James Franco: Your mama's pussy was the canvas, your dad's dick was the paintbrush. Boom. You're the art, huh?
Jay Baruchel: Thanks, James Franco.
James Franco: You got it.

View Quote Seth Rogen: Just answer me one question: Is Michael Cera's butthole as adorable as I pictured?
Jay Baruchel: Oh, for ****'s sake...
Seth Rogen: I picture it looking like a little donut. A little pink sprinkled donut.

View Quote Jay Baruchel: [trying to perform an exorcism] The power of Christ compels you!
Jonah Hill: [possessed] Guess what? It's not that compelling.

All 16 quotes from Jay Baruchel »

She's Out of My League (2010) as Kirk

View Quote Kirk: Patty's not a bitch, she's uh... different.
Stainer: Yeah, different in that she's a bitch and other people aren't.

View Quote Devon: Hey, did she say anything about Wendy thinking I'm hot?
Kirk: No.
Devon: Shoot, I wonder if she is on Facebook?
Kirk: Devon, you're on Facebook?
Devon: Yeah... I got like 37 friends.

View Quote Kirk: [Answering Molly's phone] Hello?
Patty: Who is this?
Kirk: Might be the guy with the new iPhone, who are you?
Patty: Might be your worst **** nightmare!

All 13 quotes from Kirk »

Knocked Up (2007) as Jay

View Quote Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to **** rock this shit!

View Quote I farted on Jason's pillow, he farted on Jonah's thinking it was mine, and eventually pink-eyed my pillow. I'm not proud of any of this.

View Quote I always aim right.

All 7 quotes from Jay »