Ben Stone Was your vagina drunk?! Did you think it's the thinnest condom on Earth I have on, I'm a **** inventor?! I made a dick-skin condom?! "He hollowed out a penis and put it on." What the ****?!
Played by Seth Rogen 
Knocked Up (2007) · 87 quotes
Knocked Up (2007) · 87 quotes
Most-quoted character in Knocked Up (2007): in 24 of its 87 quotes
Most scenes with: Fantasy Baseball Guy (10), Ben (9), Allison Scott (7)
You know what? I know this isn't you talking, it's your hormones, but I would just like to say, "**** you, hormones! You are a crazy bitch, hormones!" Not Alison, hormones. **** 'em. It's a girl, buy some pink shit.
More lines from Ben Stone
12 quotes Ben Stone Ben Stone Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.
Ben Stone You don't know who Doc Brown is? He invented the DeLorean.
Ben Stone You are a funny mother****er man. Jesus, how can you fight with him? Look at his face, I just want to kiss it.
Ben Stone If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."
Ben Stone It cures everything. My buddy Jonah broke his elbow one time. He just got high. It still clicks, but it's cool.
Ben Stone Steely Dan can gargle my balls.
Ben Stone I will **** my bong. Doggy-style, for once. (gives Alison the middle finger as he walks out of the OB/GYN office)
Ben Stone (with a gas mask with an attached bong to his face)
I am your stoner!
Ben Stone That my friend, is how you get pink eye.
Ben Stone (In Alison's bed)
**** off, Martin!
Ben Stone I'll see you later. (to Alison at the first bar encounter) No I won't, 'cause I'm a pussy.
Scenes with Ben Stone
11 scenesI assumed you were wearing a patch, or like a, like a dental dam, or one of those ****in' butterfly clips or something--
What? What the hell is a dental dam?
It's like saran wrap, it's disgusting, but I thought you had one!
I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.
I had the chicken pox THREE times. I have no immunity to it.
We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.
It's not herpes if it's everywhere.
Hey, I have a great idea. Why don't the two of you go into your time machines and go back in time and **** each other?
Who needs a time machine?
I'm gonna throw you into my De Lorean, gun it to 88!
I'm pregnant.
**** off!
What?
What?
I'm pregnant.
Pregnant... with emotion?
Pregnant with a baby.
Do you want to do it doggie style?
No I do not want you to **** me like a dog.
It's doggie style. It's just in the style. We don't have to go outside or anything.
BOOBS! BOOBS and BUSH!
Alriiight, credit bush! That's the best, we're not even five minutes in.
What if this was our second date, what would we do?
BJ?
Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
And a little bit Spanish...?
Yeah, I'm not very good with impressions.
I'm sorry I told you to **** your bong.
It's okay... I didn't...
Ben Stone [Ben knocks on the door at Sadie's birthday party and Sadie answers]
Hey! What up dogg?
Where have you been?
Ben Stone Oh, you know... Around.
Why is everyone so mad at you?
Ben Stone They are? What are they saying?
Oh, you know. Blah, blah, blah. Ben's a prick. What's that mean?
Ben Stone Penis. It means penis.
Penis. [Sadie nods her head and then giggles]
Ben Stone I'd like to be in there with Alison without you.
OK. I understand how you feel, but this isn't up to you.
Ben Stone Look, Debbie. You are high off your ass if you think you're coming into that room. If you take one step towards that door, I will tell security there's a crazy chick in a pink dress snatching up babies, OK? So don't even try to come into that room, that's my room now. That little area with the Pepsi machine, that's your area. My room, your area. Stay in your area, stay out of my room. Back... the... ****... off.
