Paul quotes from Paul (2011)

View Quote What do you know, the geek shall inherit the Earth.

View Quote Sometimes you just gotta roll the dice.

View Quote Over the last 60 years, the human race has been drip-fed images of my face, on lunchboxes and t-shirts and shit. It’s in case our species do meet, you don’t have a **** spaz attack!

View Quote Evolution, baby.

View Quote Get your goddamn hands off my mother**** junk!

View Quote (to Graeme, who is drawing a portrait of him) Are you going to draw me like one of your French girls, Jack?

View Quote You were amazing, Graeme! That cop didn’t suspect a thing! And Clive… you didn’t pee your pants.

View Quote Yo, ****nuts! It’s probing time.

View Quote Clive, I can feel your boner.

View Quote Clive likes boning space bears!

Scenes with Paul

View Quote Graeme: Are you an alien?
Paul: To you I am, yes.
Graeme: Are you gonna probe us?
Paul: (annoyed) Why does everyone always assume that? What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?
Graeme: Uh – what?

View Quote Paul: I’m Paul.
Graeme: Paul?
Paul: Yeah. It’s a nickname that stuck. My ship crashed on a… dog. It doesn’t matter!

View Quote (after Paul heals and eats a recently dead bird)
Graeme: Did you ever do that to a person?
Paul: Yes. I’ve eaten many people.
(Clive looks at him, scared)
Paul: I’m kidding, big guy. Relax.

View Quote (flashback of Paul talking to Steven Spielberg through the radio)
Steven Spielberg: I want him to have some kind of special power. Something messianic.
Paul: Okay, Steven, how about cellular revivification?
Spielberg: Yeah, I don’t know what that is.
Paul: Oh. Restoration of damaged tissue through telepathic manipulation of intrinsic field memory.
Spielberg: What’s that mean?
Paul: It means healing, Mr. Spielberg.
Steven: Yeah, right. Healing!

View Quote Graeme: (after Ruth fainted) If we take her with us, we could get her on our side!
Clive: Yeah, you’d like getting her on your side, wouldn’t you?
Paul: … That doesn’t make any sense.

View Quote Graeme: There’s probably billions of intelligent civilizations out there.
Ruth: So where is everybody? Hmm?
Graeme: I - But one of them’s there! (points at Paul, who is in the RV showing them his butt)
Paul: (to Clive) Are they looking? Are they looking?

View Quote Ruth: ****eroo. That was the best titty-farting sleep I ever had.
Paul: I have the feeling you’re new to cursing, Ruth.

View Quote (Paul becomes invisible in order for them to go outside)
Ruth: Okay. I’m in.
Paul: Rocky?
Clive: Sure.
Paul: Bullwinkle?
Graeme: Well, I’m a little bit tired.
Paul: Don’t be a pussy.
Graeme: Don’t call me a – all right.

View Quote Paul: (smoking a joint) It’s pretty strong shit, I got it from the military, actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan.
Graeme: Bob Dylan’s not dead.
Paul: (smirks) Isn’t he?

View Quote Zoil: I don’t want to be where you are.
The Big Guy: Too bad, seeing as how I’m the one holding all the cards. And when I say "cards", I of course mean, big **** gun.
Paul: Very big gun.
The Big Guy: Come on, Mork.
Paul: Don’t call me Mork.

Other characters in Paul (2011): Graeme Willy · Clive Gollings · Agent Lorenzo Zoil · Ruth