ALL A B C D E F G H I J K L M
N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #


View Quote Clive: They’re going to rape us and break our arms!
Graeme: I don’t want my arms broken!
View Quote Graeme: (after Ruth fainted) If we take her with us, we could get her on our side!
Clive: Yeah, you’d like getting her on your side, wouldn’t you?
Paul: … That doesn’t make any sense.
View Quote Graeme: (taking pictures of the Black Mailbox) Do you remember when we Googled it on your mum’s computer and the phone rang and you thought it was the FBI?
Clive: I didn’t really think it was the FBI.
Graeme: You started crying.
Clive: I had jet lag.
Graeme: We’d only been to Brussels.
View Quote Graeme: Are you an alien?
Paul: To you I am, yes.
Graeme: Are you gonna probe us?
Paul: (annoyed) Why does everyone always assume that? What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?
Graeme: Uh – what?
View Quote Graeme: Look, just because your truth isn’t the true truth, it doesn’t mean there’s no truth, Ruth.
Ruth: That’s easy for you to say.
Graeme: It’s really not.
View Quote Graeme: There’s probably billions of intelligent civilizations out there.
Ruth: So where is everybody? Hmm?
Graeme: I - But one of them’s there! (points at Paul, who is in the RV showing them his butt)
Paul: (to Clive) Are they looking? Are they looking?
View Quote Haggard: (looking at the cover of Clive’s book) Ha! Three tits. That’s awesome.
O’Reilly: You guys should have given her four tits.
Graeme: ... That’s just sick.
View Quote Paul: (smoking a joint) It’s pretty strong shit, I got it from the military, actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan.
Graeme: Bob Dylan’s not dead.
Paul: (smirks) Isn’t he?
View Quote Paul: I’m Paul.
Graeme: Paul?
Paul: Yeah. It’s a nickname that stuck. My ship crashed on a… dog. It doesn’t matter!
View Quote Ruth: (talking to the agents about Paul) He showed me things.
O’Reilly: She’s talking about his spaceman balls! (Haggard slaps him)
View Quote Ruth: ****eroo. That was the best titty-farting sleep I ever had.
Paul: I have the feeling you’re new to cursing, Ruth.
View Quote Zoil: I don’t want to be where you are.
The Big Guy: Too bad, seeing as how I’m the one holding all the cards. And when I say "cards", I of course mean, big **** gun.
Paul: Very big gun.
The Big Guy: Come on, Mork.
Paul: Don’t call me Mork.
View Quote (after Paul heals and eats a recently dead bird)
Graeme: Did you ever do that to a person?
Paul: Yes. I’ve eaten many people.
(Clive looks at him, scared)
Paul: I’m kidding, big guy. Relax.
View Quote (flashback of Paul talking to Steven Spielberg through the radio)
Steven Spielberg: I want him to have some kind of special power. Something messianic.
Paul: Okay, Steven, how about cellular revivification?
Spielberg: Yeah, I don’t know what that is.
Paul: Oh. Restoration of damaged tissue through telepathic manipulation of intrinsic field memory.
Spielberg: What’s that mean?
Paul: It means healing, Mr. Spielberg.
Steven: Yeah, right. Healing!
View Quote (Paul becomes invisible in order for them to go outside)
Ruth: Okay. I’m in.
Paul: Rocky?
Clive: Sure.
Paul: Bullwinkle?
Graeme: Well, I’m a little bit tired.
Paul: Don’t be a pussy.
Graeme: Don’t call me a – all right.


Quotes on this page come from Wikiquote and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. Formatting has been changed and some words censored.