Clive
(sharing the same bed at the hotel)
What are you going to dream about?
Graeme
Wonder Woman.
Clive
Please don’t.
Paul quotes
Page 2 of 3 Clive
Graeme
Clive
Graeme
[Graeme has just pushed Paul out of a rifle blast.]
That was close! [Pauses, looks down at the gaping wound in his chest] Oh my... [Collapses]
Ruth
No!
Clive
Oh God, Graeme! [Rushes to his side] Graeme!
Mr Buggs
[Shocked]
I never meant to...
Zoil
Put the gun down, Mr Buggs!
Ruth
Drop the **** gun, Dad!
Graeme
Oh no... I really liked this t-shirt...
Clive
This is all my fault! We should never have come on holiday.
Graeme
No, no, no, it's- it's fine, it's fine Clive, you know we've, we've had a good time, haven't we?
Clive
Yeah? But you got shot.
Graeme
Aghagh-- Yeah I know but, I can honestly say, Clive, this is the most fun I have ever had... [Dies]
Clive Gollings
(after being asked about having sex with a girl dressed like an Ewok)
Well, she was furry nice.
Agent Lorenzo Zoil
(after shooting the communicator)
Boring conversation anyway.
Clive Gollings
(in Klingon)
Graeme. Strike this woman.
Paul
(to Graeme, who is drawing a portrait of him)
Are you going to draw me like one of your French girls, Jack?
Agent Lorenzo Zoil
(to Haggard and O’Reilly)
Listen to me, Frick and ****, I want you to tell me everything you remember about the pissy nerds.
Clive Gollings
Aliens aren’t called Paul.
Paul
Clive likes boning space bears!
Paul
Clive, I can feel your boner.
Paul
Evolution, baby.
Paul
Get your goddamn hands off my mother**** junk!
Graeme Willy
He needs our help. Sometimes you just got to roll the dice.
Agent Lorenzo Zoil
Mother **** titty-sucking two-balled bitch!
Paul
Over the last 60 years, the human race has been drip-fed images of my face, on lunchboxes and t-shirts and shit. It’s in case our species do meet, you don’t have a **** spaz attack!