Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) · 31 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010): in 10 of its 31 quotes
Most scenes with: Scott Pilgrim (8), Kim (8), Ramona (5)
Stephen She seems nice.
Yeah, she seems awesome.
I mean, are you really happy, or are you really evil?
Like, do I have ulterior motives or something? I'm offended, Kim.
Wounded, even?
Hurt, Kim.
Yeah, she seems awesome.
Yeah.
[Stephen whistles]
Hey, Jimmy. Do they rock or suck?
They have not started playing yet.
That was a test, Jimmy.
One, two.
Okay.
Good evening. My name is Crash, these are the Boys.
Yes. [Trasha gives Wallace the finger; audience titters.]
This song is called, "I Am So Sad, I Am So Very, Very Sad". Goes a little something like this. [Trasha counts in on the drums, and Crash and Joel play two chords] ♪ SOOOOOO SAD!!!... ♪ [Song ends] Thank you.
All right, this next song goes out to the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony. [Wallace points at himself, mock questioningly] It's called "We Hate You, Please Die."
Sweet! [to Jimmy] Love this one.
Stephen How are we supposed to follow this? We're not going to win. We're not going to sign with G-Man. We'll never play opening night at the Chaos Theatre. Goddamn, Scott! Will you please stop just standing there?! You're freaking me out!
Yeah. Is he a pirate?
You really went out with this guy?
And?
It was football season, and for some reason, all the little jocks wanted me. Matthew was the only non-white, non-jock boy in town. So the two of us joined forces, and we took 'em all down. We brawled, and scrapped, and fought for hours. Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers. We only kissed once. After a week and a half, I told him to hit the showers.
Dude, wait. Mystical powers?
You'll pay for this...Flowers. [singing] ♪ If you want to fight me ♪
What?
Ha! ♪ You're not the brightest. You won't know what hit you in the slightest. ♪ [vocalizes and makes Demon Hipster Chicks appear.]
Stephen This guy's good.
♪ Me and my fireballs. ♪ [hisses] ♪ My Demon Hipster Chicks. ♪
Tell 'em, Matty.
♪ I'm talking the talk, 'cause I know I'm slick. ♪ [winks]
S-L-ick.
♪ Fireballs, take this sucker down. Let us show him what we're all about. ♪
That doesn't even rhyme! [throws a cymbal which hits Matthew on his head, and makes the Demon Hipster Chicks disappear]
Open your eyes. Maybe you'll see. [flies toward Matthew video-game-style and punches his face]
K.O.!
Sweet! Coins. [he picks up the coins]
God, did that just happen?
That just happened.
Well...it was nice meeting you. Tell your...gay friends I said bye.
"Gay friends"? [shocked and angry] Wallace! Again?!
Get a room, guys!
Oh, my God!
Oh, man, $2.40? That's not even enough for the bus home.
I'll lend you the 35¢.
Yeah, so, Sex Bob-Omb wins.
Sex Bob-Omb won? [starts whooping, but stops and doesn't see Scott; saddened] Oh.
Um...I guess... if we're gonna date, you may have to defeat my seven evil exes.
You have seven evil ex-boyfriends?
Seven evil exes, yes.
And I have to fight--
Defeat.
Defeat your seven evil exes if we're going to continue to date?
Pretty much.
So, what you're saying right now is we are dating?
Uh, I guess.
Does that mean we can make out?
Cool.
Aw!
Where's Knives? Not coming tonight?
No, we broke up. Hey, check it out. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy II. [strums "Final Fantasy II" bass line.]
Scott, you are the salt of the Earth.
I meant, "Scum of the Earth."
You broke up with Knives?
Yeah. But don't worry. Maybe soon, you'll meet my new-new girlfriend.
"New-new"?
Stephen Okay. From here on out, no girlfriends or girlfriend talk at practice, whether they're old, new, or new-new.
Stephen We were lucky to survive the last round. It's sudden death now, okay?
Okay. [he and Sex Bob-Omb play "Summertime," but a doorbell ringing interrupts him] [excited] That's for me! That's for me, that's for me. [opens door from Ramona] Hey, you're here. [notices Ramona's hair is blue.]
Yes, like you said. [Ramona enters and Scott closes the door.]
You know your hair?
I know of it.
It's all blue.
I change my hair every week-and-a-half, dude. Get used to it. [Scott stares at Ramona's hair] So...how do you guys all know each other?
Um, high school, I guess.
Stephen What Neil said.
Oh, got any embarrassing stories?
Stephen What about rehearsal?
Neil knows my parts. [he and Ramona leave]
I'm Neil. [Kim and Stephen stare at him]
Stephen Scott! Let it go. Don't give him the satisfaction.
What if I want the satisfaction?
Scott Pilgrim! He-hey! Buddy, welcome to the Chaos Theatre. Somebody get this man a drink. A Coke Zero, right?
Whoa. I've got no beef with you.
Are you still mad about the whole thing with The Guild?
You mean The League?
The Guild, League, whatever. It's ancient history.
I'll show you how ancient of history it is! [charges at Gideon]
Wait, wait, w-w-wait! [Scott stops running] There's no use crying over spilt Coke, buddy. The lady made her choice, and we're all just gonna have to...move on.
Well, I ain't movin', buddy.
You wanna fight me... for her?
I don't know.
Now, why on Earth... would you want to do... that?
Because I'm in love with her. [gasps and falters back]
Scott earned the Power of Love.
Aw, I think this deserves a song. Kimberley!!
We are Sex Bob-Omb. We are here to make money and sell out and stuff. One-two-three-four!
Sorry. Dying's got to suck.
You know what sucks? Getting killed by that guy. Why him?
It's complicated.
Well, I'm not going anywhere, so... now might be a good time to get into it.
Truth is...it was me who was obsessed. I was crazy about him. But he ignored me. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own. That's why I had to leave. And that's when he started paying attention.
So, why go back?
I can't help myself around him, Scott; He just...has this way of getting into my head.
Well, that's legitimately disappointing. I really will leave you alone forever now.
No, he literally has a way of getting into my head. [shows chip on the back of her neck]
I didn't mean for you to get dragged into this, Scott. I just wanted something simple. I'm sorry it had to end this way.
Well, I really fought for you.
Maybe I'm not the one you should have been fighting for. [turns to dust]
What? But-- But-- I feel like I learned something. [saddened] Which would be great if I wasn't dead. [collapses to his knees] So-- So alone.
You're not alone.
Right! [uses 1-UP to revive and re-enters the Chaos Theatre from the beginning.] [to one of Gideon's goons] Your hair looks stupid. [Goon gasps in shock and turns into coins, earning Scott Pilgrim 700 points. Two goons block the elevator]
Second password? [Scott defeats both of them, earning 700 points each, and goes down the elevator.]
I mean, I saw it. It's just the comic book is better than the movie. [notices Scott] Hello. [Scott barges past him, earning 350 points per person, to the stage where Sex Bob-Omb, as before, notice Scott and stop playing]
Stephen Scott! Let it go.
Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Stephen, the new line-up rocks. You guys sound way better without me. Young Neil, you have learned well. From this point forward, you will be known as... Neil.
And Kim... [Kim raises an eyebrow] I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about me. [surprised, Kim smiles at him for the first time]
Save it! You're pretentious. This club sucks. I've got beef. Let's do it. [charges toward Gideon]
Wait, wait, w-w-wait! [Scott stops running] You wanna fight me... for her?
No. I want to fight you for me. [falters back]
Scott earned the Power of Self-Respect.
Umm--
KIM!
WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN!!!! ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!!!! [Sex Bob-Omb starts playing a faster upbeat rock song]
How's it going back there?
You... dick! [slumps, earning Scott 7,000 points]
SCOTT!!! [They turn just as Knives flying-kicks Ramona in the head, knocking her to the ground, and unknowingly breaks the chip on the back of her head] Steal my boyfriend, [twirls sai] taste my steel! [lunges to attack Ramona, but Scott blocks her]
Enough!
No, Scott! [kicks Scott in the neck] This fat-ass hurt me, and I will have my revenge!
No, Knives, I hurt you. I cheated on you. [Scott turns to each of the girls. Ramona gets up.] I cheated on both of you. I'm really sorry. [turns to Ramona] And you're not a fat-ass. She didn't mean that. So, are we all good?
Never felt better.
Yoo-hoo! [they all turn to Gideon, who is standing directly behind them] Are we done with the hugging and the learning? [puts a new piece of gum in his mouth] I thought we had a fight going on here!
Oh, you've got a fight, all right. [prepares himself, and a VS. sign appears between him and Gideon]
Wrong move, baby. [Gideon summons an 8-bit pixelated katana, and they begin to fight. Scott blocks Gideon's swings, and Scott falls to the floor. Gideon almost kills Scott with his pixelated katana, but Knives blocks and forces Gideon back, causing him to swallow his gum. "2 Player Mode" appears.] You made me swallow my gum. [adjusts his glasses.] It's gonna be in my digestive tract for 7 years! [Scott and Knives fight Gideon, but Gideon kicks Knives off, and Gideon and Scott continue to fight; Scott slashes Gideon's cheek, earning 3,500 points, but Gideon breaks Scott's sword] [to Ramona] Yeah. Still my girl. [Ramona puts her arms around him, and Scott looks up nearly heartbroken.]
Let's both be girls. [knees Gideon in the groin causing him to scream in pain. Knives steals the pixelated katana, and Gideon angrily slaps Ramona]
Bad! [Ramona falls to the floor] Bad! [Gideon kicks Ramona down the stairs.] Bad!
What?
Get ready! [Gideon's cocky smile disappears] Here we go! [Scott and Knives charge toward Gideon and beat him up.] Good! Good! Good! Combo! [Scott grabs Gideon by the tie, flips him upside-down, and Knives kicks him.] Perfect! [Gideon is flipped around and is gravely wounded, as he flashes and glitches angrily.]
Who do you think you are, Pilgrim? You think you're better than me? I'll tell you what you are. A pain in my ASS!! Do you know how long it took to get all the evil exes' contact information so I could form this stupid League? Like, two hours! TWO HOURS! [coughs and hacks out coin] You're not cool enough for Ramona. You're zero. You're nothing! Me, I'M what's hip! I'M what's happening! I'M blowing up right now!
You are blowing up. RIGHT NOW! [drop-kicks Gideon in the head]
K.O.!
Wow!
There goes our deal.
Stephen We're still getting paid, right?
There goes our deal.
Oh.
Stephen Oh, God!
You two make a good combo.
Yeah.
Scott Pilgrim. [chuckles] You can defeat me, Scott. But can you defeat yourself?
Nega Scott. [Knives and Ramona prepare to fight]
No. This is something I have to face. [walks toward Nega Scott] Myself. [tosses Gideon's glasses]
Solo round!
They have this incredible French toast with, like, bananas on it, and you get bacon on the side.
Oh, I'm likin' that.
Well, let's do it next week.
Yeah, Tuesday.
Yeah, all right. Be good.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey.
What happened?
Oh, nothing, we just shot the shit. He's, he's just a really nice guy. We're gonna get brunch next week. We, uh, we actually have a lot in common.
Your hair, it's getting really shaggy.
Yeah. [removes Scott's hat] You should probably get it cut.
At a salon.
Salon, yeah. That sounds really nice. [to Ramona] Hey. You're-- You're goin'?
I should probably disappear.
After all that?
I still need a new life. I came here to escape, but the past keeps catching up. I'm tired of people getting hurt because of me.
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get over it.
I don't mean just you.
I should thank you, though.
For what?
For being the nicest guy I ever dated.
That's kind of sad.
It is kind of sad.
Well, bye, and stuff.
Yeah. And stuff.
Stephen Hey, man, question. I always wondered, how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers?
Okay, you know how you only use 10% of your brain? That's because the other 90% is filled with curds and whey.
Go ahead and get snippy, baby. If you knew the science, maybe I'd listen to a word you're saying.
Basically, you can't win this fight, so you're gonna have to give up on this girl, 'cause Todd's gonna kill you.
You used to be so NICE! [charges toward Todd in slow-mo, but Todd psychically throws Scott through a brick wall.]
Stephen Uh, Scott, we're gonna go to Pizza Pizza for a slice. Call us when you're done.
Oh, he'll be done. Real soon.
I can read your thoughts. [psychically] Your will is broken. [normally] You're through.
What say we drink to my memory? [offering him a cup of coffee, innocently.] Fair-trade blend with soy milk?
Heh. I'm sorry, but that's pathetic.
Dude, I can see in your mind's eye, that you put half-and-half into one of those coffees in an attempt to make me break Vegan-edge. I'll take the one with soy. [levitates the other cup from Scott's hand and brings it to his own] Thanks, tool. [sips the coffee]
Actually, muchacho, I poured the soy in this cup, but I thought real hard about pouring it in that cup. You know, in my "mind's eye" or whatever. [sips his own coffee]
You just drank half-and-half, baby.
You once were a ve-gone, but now you will be gone.
Uh...sorry, I guess.
You kicked my heart in the ass, so, I guess we're even...Natalie.
Maybe they should. [to Ramona] Let's get out of here. [he and Ramona leave and Scott also holds his back.]
Stephen We're still going to the after-party, right?
I'm not sure there's going to be much of a party. I think a third of the band just went poom.
Stephen Yeah, cool bands never go to their own after-parties. Just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with the label guys.
Then why would we--? [realizing] Oh.
Stephen Neil, you down? [to Scott] Scott, you're in, right?
You wanna go?
Well...I kind of almost died back there.
I'm not saying I want to go.
Yeah, we can totally go.
I'll do whatever you want to do.
So, let's go.
We really don't have to go to this thing. It'll probably be a bad scene all around.
No, I'm fine. It's just--
"It's just"?
Well...have you ever dated someone that wasn't a total ass?
Well, so far, you're not a total ass.
But I'm part ass?
If it makes you feel better, you're the nicest guy I've dated.
Wait, is that good?
It's what I need right now.
But not later?
Scott, I don't have all the answers, okay? I'd just like to try and live in the moment if I can.
I'd just like to live. [he and Ramona arrive at The Clash at Demonhead's after-party.]
Look, I know Todd was bad news, but are you saying Envy wasn't? We all have baggage.
Yeah, well, my baggage doesn't try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to make your ex-boyfriends so insane?
Exes.
Whatever.
No breakup is painless; somebody always gets hurt. What about you and that girl, Knives? Who broke up with who?
I believe I broke up with her.
And was she cool with that?
Knives is with Young Neil now; she's totally cool with it.
You're sure about that?
Yeah, she's very mature for her age. We had a very healthy break-up. We're all peaches and gravy.
What about you and Kim?
Me and Kim? I can barely remember. It was high school. She had freckles.
That's it?
Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
That's really the whole story?
Okay, fine. I had to fight a guy to be with her, okay? I fought a crazy, 80-foot-tall purple-suited dude, and I had to fight 96 guys to get to him. He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes, okay? And I kicked him so hard that he saw the curvature of the Earth. Does that make you feel any better?
Well, now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
I'm sorry; I'm not usually like this.
Hey, don't worry. I don't even know what I'm like anymore.
Exes.
Why do you keep saying that? [gets kicked in the face from behind, slams into the bar counter and falls flat on the floor. He looks up at his attacker.] [stands up, thinking] The girl from earlier?
Roxy?
You know this girl?
Oh, boy, does she know me.
He really doesn't know?
Hmm. [smiles suggestively]
You and her?!
It was just a phase.
"Just a phase"?
You had a sexy phase?
It meant nothing. I didn't think it would count.
"It meant nothing"?!
I was just a little bi-curious.
Well, honey... [cracks knuckles] I'm a little bi-FURIOUS! [performs a slow-mo spinning kick aimed at Scott, but is blocked by Ramona. A pink VS. sign appears between them and Ramona throws Roxy back.]
Do that again, and I will end you!
Back off, has-bian! If Gideon can't have you, no one can! [whips off her belt, which turns into a chain-sword.] The League has spoken!
Well, then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here, 'cause I'm about to kick yours out of the Great White North! [pulls a massive stone hammer out of her purse]
