8th most-quoted character in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010): in 7 of its 31 quotes
Most scenes with: Scott Pilgrim (5), Todd (5), Julie (4)
So how was the tour? You guys play with the Pixies? You're like a superstar now.
Envy Yeah, it's, uh, not really something I can put into words.
Um, Envy... [everyone glares at her] I read your blog.
Envy So, Scott and Ramona, eh?
What of it?
Envy You guys make a cute couple you know. [Todd scoffs] Suit each other.
Envy Ramona, I like your outfit. Affordable?
Envy I'm talking to Ramona right now.
Ramona lived in New York.
Envy Oh, did she? I was just there. Played the Chaos Theater for Gideon. You know him, right?
Knives!
Oh, my God. [glares at Todd, angrily] You punched the highlights out of her hair. [to Scott; worried] He punched the highlights out of her hair!
Envy You are incorrigible.
I don't know the meaning of the word.
HE REALLY DOESN'T.
So, uh, you guys doing anything fun while you're in town?
"Fun"? In Toronto?
Envy Ha!
THAT'S IT! [slams fists on table as Envy gasps in horror] YOU COCKY ****! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity! [lunges to attack Todd, but is frozen by psychic energy. Todd, eyes glowing and hair standing on end, levitates Scott into the air] [gasping] My neck. [stunned] Your hair.
Envy Didn't you know? Todd's vegan.
It's not really that big of a deal. [kicks and breaks off part of the brick wall]
No kidding. [coughs and stands up] Anyone can be vegan.
Ovo-lacto-vegetarian, maybe.
Ovo-what?
I partake not in the meat, nor the breastmilk, nor the ovum of any creature with a face.
Envy Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people.
Bingo. [punches Scott and sends him, screaming, leaving a trail of A's high into the air and out of sight.]
Envy Basically, you can't win this fight, so you're gonna have to give up on this girl, 'cause Todd's gonna kill you.
You used to be so NICE! [charges toward Todd in slow-mo, but Todd psychically throws Scott through a brick wall.]
Uh, Scott, we're gonna go to Pizza Pizza for a slice. Call us when you're done.
Envy Oh, he'll be done. Real soon.
I can read your thoughts. [psychically] Your will is broken. [normally] You're through.
What say we drink to my memory? [offering him a cup of coffee, innocently.] Fair-trade blend with soy milk?
Envy Heh. I'm sorry, but that's pathetic.
Dude, I can see in your mind's eye, that you put half-and-half into one of those coffees in an attempt to make me break Vegan-edge. I'll take the one with soy. [levitates the other cup from Scott's hand and brings it to his own] Thanks, tool. [sips the coffee]
Actually, muchacho, I poured the soy in this cup, but I thought real hard about pouring it in that cup. You know, in my "mind's eye" or whatever. [sips his own coffee]
You just drank half-and-half, baby.
Envy Oh, my God.
You once were a ve-gone, but now you will be gone.
Uh...sorry, I guess.
Envy "Sorry"? You just head-butted my boyfriend so hard he burst.
You kicked my heart in the ass, so, I guess we're even...Natalie.
Envy "Natalie"? No one calls me that anymore.
Maybe they should. [to Ramona] Let's get out of here. [he and Ramona leave and Scott also holds his back.]
Envy Shut the [bleep] up, Julie.
I'm not sure there's going to be much of a party. I think a third of the band just went poom.
Yeah, cool bands never go to their own after-parties. Just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with the label guys.
Then why would we--? [realizing] Oh.
You wanna go?
Well...I kind of almost died back there.
I'm not saying I want to go.
Yeah, we can totally go.
I'll do whatever you want to do.
So, let's go.
We really don't have to go to this thing. It'll probably be a bad scene all around.
No, I'm fine. It's just--
"It's just"?
Well...have you ever dated someone that wasn't a total ass?
Well, so far, you're not a total ass.
But I'm part ass?
If it makes you feel better, you're the nicest guy I've dated.
Wait, is that good?
It's what I need right now.
But not later?
Scott, I don't have all the answers, okay? I'd just like to try and live in the moment if I can.
I'd just like to live. [he and Ramona arrive at The Clash at Demonhead's after-party.]
Look, I know Todd was bad news, but are you saying Envy wasn't? We all have baggage.
Yeah, well, my baggage doesn't try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to make your ex-boyfriends so insane?
Exes.
Whatever.
No breakup is painless; somebody always gets hurt. What about you and that girl, Knives? Who broke up with who?
I believe I broke up with her.
And was she cool with that?
Knives is with Young Neil now; she's totally cool with it.
You're sure about that?
Yeah, she's very mature for her age. We had a very healthy break-up. We're all peaches and gravy.
What about you and Kim?
Me and Kim? I can barely remember. It was high school. She had freckles.
That's it?
Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
That's really the whole story?
Okay, fine. I had to fight a guy to be with her, okay? I fought a crazy, 80-foot-tall purple-suited dude, and I had to fight 96 guys to get to him. He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes, okay? And I kicked him so hard that he saw the curvature of the Earth. Does that make you feel any better?
Well, now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
I'm sorry; I'm not usually like this.
Hey, don't worry. I don't even know what I'm like anymore.
Exes.
Why do you keep saying that? [gets kicked in the face from behind, slams into the bar counter and falls flat on the floor. He looks up at his attacker.] [stands up, thinking] The girl from earlier?
Roxy?
You know this girl?
Oh, boy, does she know me.
He really doesn't know?
Hmm. [smiles suggestively]
You and her?!
It was just a phase.
"Just a phase"?
You had a sexy phase?
It meant nothing. I didn't think it would count.
"It meant nothing"?!
I was just a little bi-curious.
Well, honey... [cracks knuckles] I'm a little bi-FURIOUS! [performs a slow-mo spinning kick aimed at Scott, but is blocked by Ramona. A pink VS. sign appears between them and Ramona throws Roxy back.]
Do that again, and I will end you!
Back off, has-bian! If Gideon can't have you, no one can! [whips off her belt, which turns into a chain-sword.] The League has spoken!
Well, then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here, 'cause I'm about to kick yours out of the Great White North! [pulls a massive stone hammer out of her purse]
