[Obliterating all of the hipster henchmen faster than before, Scott rushes towards Gideon. They lunge at each other, Ninja-Gaiden-style with swords drawn, and Scott slashes Gideon across the shoulder, who tumbles to the ground upon impact, making him drop his gum from out of his mouth] [landing]
How's it going back there?
You... dick! [slumps, earning Scott 7,000 points]
SCOTT!!! [They turn just as Knives flying-kicks Ramona in the head, knocking her to the ground, and unknowingly breaks the chip on the back of her head] Steal my boyfriend, [twirls sai] taste my steel! [lunges to attack Ramona, but Scott blocks her]
Enough!
No, Scott! [kicks Scott in the neck] This fat-ass hurt me, and I will have my revenge!
No, Knives, I hurt you. I cheated on you. [Scott turns to each of the girls. Ramona gets up.] I cheated on both of you. I'm really sorry. [turns to Ramona] And you're not a fat-ass. She didn't mean that. So, are we all good?
[The chip on the back of Ramona's neck shorts out, and powers off] [relieved]
Never felt better.
Yoo-hoo! [they all turn to Gideon, who is standing directly behind them] Are we done with the hugging and the learning? [puts a new piece of gum in his mouth] I thought we had a fight going on here!
Oh, you've got a fight, all right. [prepares himself, and a VS. sign appears between him and Gideon]
Wrong move, baby. [Gideon summons an 8-bit pixelated katana, and they begin to fight. Scott blocks Gideon's swings, and Scott falls to the floor. Gideon almost kills Scott with his pixelated katana, but Knives blocks and forces Gideon back, causing him to swallow his gum. "2 Player Mode" appears.] You made me swallow my gum. [adjusts his glasses.] It's gonna be in my digestive tract for 7 years! [Scott and Knives fight Gideon, but Gideon kicks Knives off, and Gideon and Scott continue to fight; Scott slashes Gideon's cheek, earning 3,500 points, but Gideon breaks Scott's sword] [to Ramona] Yeah. Still my girl. [Ramona puts her arms around him, and Scott looks up nearly heartbroken.]
Let's both be girls. [knees Gideon in the groin causing him to scream in pain. Knives steals the pixelated katana, and Gideon angrily slaps Ramona]
Bad! [Ramona falls to the floor] Bad! [Gideon kicks Ramona down the stairs.] Bad!
[Scott and Knives watch in horror as Ramona falls down the stairs. Gideon turns around to see Scott and Knives staring at him angrily] [cockily]
What?
Get ready! [Gideon's cocky smile disappears] Here we go! [Scott and Knives charge toward Gideon and beat him up.] Good! Good! Good! Combo! [Scott grabs Gideon by the tie, flips him upside-down, and Knives kicks him.] Perfect! [Gideon is flipped around and is gravely wounded, as he flashes and glitches angrily.]
[voice distorted]
Who do you think you are, Pilgrim? You think you're better than me? I'll tell you what you are. A pain in my ASS!! Do you know how long it took to get all the evil exes' contact information so I could form this stupid League? Like, two hours! TWO HOURS! [coughs and hacks out coin] You're not cool enough for Ramona. You're zero. You're nothing! Me, I'M what's hip! I'M what's happening! I'M blowing up right now!
You are blowing up. RIGHT NOW! [drop-kicks Gideon in the head]
K.O.!
[Gideon turns into a shower of coins, earning Scott 7,000,000,000 points. Coins rain down in slow-mo] [voice slowed down]
Wow!
[Normal speed; Sex Bob-omb jump back as the mass of coins land on the stage] [deadpan]
There goes our deal.
We're still getting paid, right?
There goes our deal.
Oh.
[Stephen scrambles to pick up the coins. Neil picks up a coin, and Kim mimes shooting herself in the head and collapses on her drum kit as Neil puts the coin in his mouth] [gets up and sees Scott and Knives walking down the stairs]
You two make a good combo.
Yeah.
[whispering]
Scott Pilgrim. [chuckles] You can defeat me, Scott. But can you defeat yourself?
Nega Scott. [Knives and Ramona prepare to fight]
[stops Knives and Ramona]
No. This is something I have to face. [walks toward Nega Scott] Myself. [tosses Gideon's glasses]
Solo round!
[scene cuts outside the Chaos Theater] [talking to Nega Scott]
They have this incredible French toast with, like, bananas on it, and you get bacon on the side.
Oh, I'm likin' that.
Well, let's do it next week.
Yeah, Tuesday.
Yeah, all right. Be good.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey.
[Nega Scott whistles as he walks away]
What happened?
Oh, nothing, we just shot the shit. He's, he's just a really nice guy. We're gonna get brunch next week. We, uh, we actually have a lot in common.
Your hair, it's getting really shaggy.
Yeah. [removes Scott's hat] You should probably get it cut.
At a salon.
Salon, yeah. That sounds really nice. [to Ramona] Hey. You're-- You're goin'?
I should probably disappear.
After all that?
I still need a new life. I came here to escape, but the past keeps catching up. I'm tired of people getting hurt because of me.
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get over it.
I don't mean just you.
I should thank you, though.
For what?
For being the nicest guy I ever dated.
That's kind of sad.
It is kind of sad.
Well, bye, and stuff.
Yeah. And stuff.
