Most scenes together: Red & Granny (8), Chief Grizzly & Flippers (8), Red & The Wolf (7)
The criminal you are looking for cannot be found at the bottom of the mountain; he resides at the top in a cave fortress where my companions are trying to detain him.
What is it, boy? Truck? Trouble at the mill? Is the barn on fire? The barn's on fire! The well! Timmy's stuck in the well!
Wait! It's like he's speaking...words of some kind.
[Twitchy facepalms in frustration]
Who taught you how to drive?
Almost hit a squirrel!
Hey Red! [hops into her basket] Oh, nice outfit! Always "red" with you. You must be in autumn.
No, he closed up shop. Somebody took all his recipes last night and now I'm out of a job!
Oh, gee, Boingo, I'm really sorry! Are you still running the cable car?
Yeah. Yeah, I am, but it's nothin' like making goodies all day. I'll tell you that.
Would a carrot crumpet make you feel better? [hands him one]
Oh boy, oh boy! Thanks, Red! I can always count on you to deliver, you little rascally...devil!
Yeah, well, the woods don't go 'round by themselves.
Come on, let's go.
Where are we going now, mama?
With the Goodie Bandit on the loose, recipes were becoming an endangered species. I decided to call Granny. If anyone would know what to do, she would.
I don't know what to do. I'm just a tired old lady.
Your recipes are the most famous in the whole forest, Granny! What if they get swiped? It could wipe you out! Maybe I should bring you the recipe book, just for safekeeping!
A trip up the mountain is too dangerous for a little girl.
I'm not so little anymore!
Please, dear, you just keep the recipes there and everything will be fine.
But-
I have to go now. My program's on. Kisses. [blows air kisses and hangs up]
Those sheep made me hungry. After this, we're grabbing a bite.
Sounds good, sounds good.
I don't know what to do. I mean, should I call her? Should I-
Well she's keeping her options open. Seeing other people probably, you should do the same.
Shh. Up there.
Do you mind?
Ooh. Sorry. [aims his radar gun back at the cable car's cabin and continues walking, eventually picking up voices]
Boingo's voice: Hey, you deliver up this far?
Red's voice: [unintelligible due to static] ...but I was thinking of...the Muffin Man...Granny's recipes...an evil plan...to shut down everyone in the forest.
Ouch. [as Red discovers a footprint, Twitchy swallows his camera. The extra weight causes him to fall from his branch and snap a through-the-mouth flash photo of Red; facepalms] Ugh. [steps out from his hiding place. Red gasps] Afternoon.
Hello.
So, you're the little girl in the red hood? That was quite a bit of falling you did just now. [Twitchy hides behind his boss and coughs up his camera] Yep, gravity's working...So what are you doing out here in the big bad forest? Are you taking the goodies to someone in particular?
Uhhh...my granny.
Ah, you don't have anything else in that basket?
You ask a lot of questions, mister!
I'd rather you didn't.
I mean, please! Come back here! [turns to Twitchy] What are you doing?!
Sorry! I was just winding! I was just - You had your tail-
Come on! We're gonna lose her! Red?! Red Riding Hood?! We'll never catch her. Taxi! [a taxi cab picks him up, but leaves Twitchy behind; Wolf sees Red run past] Whoa, that was her. We passed her. Right here's fine. [the taxi drops off him; into his tape recorder] Suspect is approaching on foot, stolen recipes in basket. I'm about to catch her red-handed. [steps out from behind the tree he is using as cover when Red gets close; she gasps and freezes] Hand over the basket!
Hi-yah! [starts kicking and punching him]
So, you really took a beating, from a little girl?
Hey.
HIIII-YAH!! [spin-kicks Wolf, causing him to fall on his back, then takes off]
Come back here, you little brat! [as Twitchy runs, trying to catch up, the Wolf chases Red's cape, not noticing that it is actually being flown by hummingbirds. When he grabs it, he finds it empty, and the camera whips back to reveal him frozen in mid-air past the edge of a cliff] Okay. Not cool. [falls and screams into the freezing water below; floating away, and noticing Red standing on the cliff above him] You can't hold onto those recipes forever! I'll get you and your little granny too! [sees a fisherman on the river bank looking at him intently]
Hmm. That's fishy.
What?! They're evil! I'll prove it!
What's that? Sounds like an avalanche!
Well Twitchy, that's natural. It's just Old Man Mountain showing us who's boss.
Box of candles? Light 'em up! [Twitchy lights one, and holds up...a stick of dynamite with a sparking fuse] Wow that's nice and bright. What kind of candles are those?
AH! Lose the candle!
[Wolf wrestles with Twitchy for the stick, which falls, rolls, and ignites every single stick of dynamite stored in the back. The Wolf yelps and starts rapidly throwing sticks behind the cart as they exit the tunnel onto a trestle. The sticks hit the track and explode, and Wolf pulls the emergency brake, bringing the cart to a stop at the bottom. As they come to their senses, another cart goes off the truncated track end behind them with a loud scream]
You hear something?
Hmmm?
Huh. Come on, let's get to Granny's.
How's it goin', Woolworth?
Man, what are you doing here?! The shepherd comes by and sees me talkin' to you, I'm gonna get the crook!
Yeah? Well, there's a bigger crook on the loose that I'm concerned about. What do you hear about the Goody Bandit?
What do I know from goodies? [sees Twitchy in a sheep suit] Hiya, Twitchy.
Baa!
I wanna know about the little girl in the red hood.
Don't know a thing. Never heard of her. [Wolf slips him some money] Little Red? Processing. Yeah, yeah, it's coming back to me now. Sweet gal. Not like that Bo Peep. That brat put an invisible fence, I tasted metal fillings for a week!
Focus! The girl in the hood. You get around the mountain. Who does she work for?
How should I know? I ain't that curious! [Wolf slips him some more money] It's the family business. Ain't you ever heard of Granny Puckett?
Puckett?
That's her grandma.
The Granny Puckett? You pullin' the wool over my eyes?
Ha ha, hilarious. You come up with that yourself? That's funny.
Why you gotta be like that? All I know is that the old lady lives up high in the hills. Not a lot of visitors.
Except the little girl.
The word in the herd is that she's been known to take the cable car up the mountain.
Cable car?
You can't hold on to those recipes forever! I'll get you and your little granny too!
Yep, that settles it. [cuts back to the interview] We've got our bandit.
Ah, could be. I'd like to count my chickens after they hatch.
Chickens?
You've gotta admit, a wolf? Stopping kids in the middle of the forest? That's pretty creepy!
Yeah, Bruce, you know that guy we've got in the tank?
Uh, the creepy one?
Yeah, better let him go.
I found an old trail up the north side of the mountain.
And Keith-- darn it, change your name! It's not scary, and I'm embarassed to say it.
Can I have coffee?
Dee-na-mee-tay. Must be Italian.
For a reporter, you sure have a funny way of doing your job.
I had always heard about call backs. But I had never gotten one!
I smell hairspray.
I'm your grandma!
