"Happily Ever After Agency"?
Red
Anne Hathaway · 25 quotes
The Wolf
Patrick Warburton · 20 quotes
Granny
Glenn Close · 19 quotes
Flippers
David Ogden Stiers · 12 quotes
Kirk/Woodsman
Jim Belushi · 12 quotes
Twitchy
Cory Edwards · 12 quotes
Chief Grizzly
Xzibit · 11 quotes
Det. Stork
Anthony Anderson · 4 quotes
Dolph
Tye Edwards · 3 quotes
Japeth
Benjy Gaither · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Red & Granny (8), Chief Grizzly & Flippers (8), Red & The Wolf (7)
Hoodwinked quotes
Page 1 of 5(after drinking a whole cup of coffee in seconds)
Caff-EINE! YEAH, baby! (zooms off into the forest after the cops, leaving a sonic boom in his wake)
Detective Bill Stork
Watch it, Chief. My mama's half loon.
Listen, honey, if there's two things your granny doesn't do, it's lie, and play extreme sports.
Let's just say that if a tree falls in the forest you'll get three stories: yours, mine and the tree's.
[to tied and gagged Red]
Hey, you're a delivery girl, right? Then could you do me a favor? Could you take this down the mountain? 'Cause it absolutely, positively has to be there TONIGHT!
I guess running the cable car's not so bad. You know, it's a great way to see the forest without having to worry about all the big, hairy beasts down there!
[hops over towards her end of the cabin]
Oh, yeah, you know, beasts- the-the wolves, and the bobcats, and the mountain lions, and the...sabre tooth tigers! Bu-but mostly wolves. Mostly wolves. Forests can be a dangerous place for a little guy like me, with my, well look at me, I'm fuzzy. Hey, you deliver up this far?
Well, not usually. But I was thinking about what you told me earlier - about the Muffin Man? I need to protect Granny's recipes from that bandit's evil plan. They're gonna shut down everyone in the forest if we're not careful. [the doors fly open and she flails around, trying to keep her balance]
No! [jumps for Red's basket]
[But Red grabs the basket as she slips and falls towards the woods below, bounces on the branches, and softly hits the ground. She gets up, finds herself in the forest, and has just seen two hungry eyes glaring at her when a squirrel named Twitchy lands and takes a photo of her. She turns and gasps to find herself face to face with the Wolf]
Afternoon.
So, you're the little girl in the red hood? That was quite a bit of falling you did just now.
Oh, you saw that.
Yep, gravity's working. Those old cable cars on the...You should write a letter. [sniffs] Wow, something smells good. Are those...goodies in there?
I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.
No, you shouldn't. Good call. So what are you doing out here in the big bad forest? You taking the goodies to someone in particular?
Uhhh...my granny.
Granny? Granny Puckett, the goodie lady? My goodness, she makes some good...goodies. She's got a thing. It's like a, uh, it's like, a, uh...cookies, shortbread chocolate icing between very... [sighs] It's good. Uh, it's very good. You make deliveries to your granny often?
Ah, you don't have anything else in that basket?
You ask a lot of questions, mister!
Well, I'm a curious guy. Let me have a look.
I'd rather you didn't.
[The Wolf lets out a ferocious roar. Red screams and immediately runs away]
Pretty thin Wolf! You say the old lady was already tied up. How did that happen?
I don't know, maybe to make herself look innocent. I just write the news Chief, I don't make it.
For a reporter, you sure have a strange way of doing your job.
What can I say? I was raised by wolves.
It would seem that all of you came together tonight by mistake.
[walks past dog typing notes]
Maybe you naughty neighbors butted heads so we could get to the real truth.
The Goody Bandit...
That's right. The Bandit's still at large. There's been a lot of finger pointing tonight, but now all fingers point to the Bandit.
Not my finger!
[quickly puts index finger in mouth and starts sucking it]
Oh no, you were just out damaging forest property, cutting down the redwoods we all call home.
[the Woodsman starts spluttering]
Big guy like you, you could probably take whatever you want from little goody-loving creatures, couldn't you?
But someone robbed me! Have we lost track of that?
Thats right, someone did. Maybe a snack food competitor. Right Granny?
Now hold on a pea-picking minute! I may lead a double life full of secrets and deception, but that's no reason to be suspicious.
Huh?
A woman like you could have a lot to gain stealing all those recipes.
And that's how she makes her goodies so good! Eh?
Or she could just be another victim... of a hungry Wolf
Ah, the wolf did it. Talk about profiling.
Why should we trust someone who wears disguises for a living?
Maybe he's not a wolf at all!
You got me. I'm a poodle. I just haven't been to the barbershop in a long time.
Is this all just a big joke to you?
I just followed the girl here.
You leave my granddaughter alone!
Yes, now we get to Little Red, the girl with the basket on the run.
What's with the handcuffs on a little girl? Her wrists could slip right out! How about a cage?
Bill
Bring in the cage!
I was being sarcastic.
Bill
(disappointed)
Sarcasm, strike the cage...
Honey, don't look at your granny like that.
I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G. Or... are you the Bandit?
Bill
Awkward!
[awkwardly slips out of the room]
I guess I must have had my eyes shut pretty tight, not to see how fast you were growing up. You were really somethin' up there.
[They hear the horn and see Kirk's schnitzel truck with caterpillar wheels running by] [waving]
Hey, Red!
[holding the recovered recipes]
Hello, everybody! Look, we got the book! [accidentally crashed down another tree with his truck, and the tree falls and crushed the porcupine's another car]
P-Biggie
Yo, Triple-G! What's up, baby?
2-Tone
Granny! What's happening?
What up, my homies?