Who are you ?
I'm your grandma.
Your face looks really weird, granny.
I've been sick, I... uh...
Your mouth doesn't move when you talk.
Plastic surgery. Grandma's had a little work done.
Red
Anne Hathaway · 25 quotes
The Wolf
Patrick Warburton · 20 quotes
Granny
Glenn Close · 19 quotes
Flippers
David Ogden Stiers · 12 quotes
Kirk/Woodsman
Jim Belushi · 12 quotes
Twitchy
Cory Edwards · 12 quotes
Chief Grizzly
Xzibit · 11 quotes
Det. Stork
Anthony Anderson · 4 quotes
Dolph
Tye Edwards · 3 quotes
Japeth
Benjy Gaither · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Red & Granny (8), Chief Grizzly & Flippers (8), Red & The Wolf (7)
Hoodwinked quotes
Page 2 of 5A wolf, stopping kids in the middle of a wood? That's pretty creepy.
True. But we don't arrest people for being creepy.
Bruce
[over walkie-talkie]
Ah, the creepy one?
Yeah, better let him go.
[After they got out of the cave and into a cart] [receiving a lit stick of dynamite]
What kind of candles are those?
I can't believe I'm saying this but... drink up
[Sips coffee and his eyes bulge and he starts shaking]
Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo! Wahooo! Caffeine! Yeah baby! Whoa!
Go get 'em boy.
Now the rest's up to us.
Can I have coffee?
Twitchy! You scared me!
Twitchy, you've got to calm down.
I-got-up-early-and-I-got-the-gear-I-was-watching-the-girl-like-you-told-me-to-the-girl-in-the-red-hood.
Yeah, the girl in the red hood. Did you see where she went?
She-went-past-the-porcupines-and-the-red-bird's-tree-and-the-guy-with-the-long-beard-and-now-she's-up-the-creek-and-she-sings-everywhere-she-goes-she's-like-lalalalalalalalalala...
Hey, Twitchy? Ever think of switching to decaf?
Oh-I-don't-drink-coffee!
Arrrgh! Paul's bunion cream has the soothing formula...
Jimmy Lizard
[interrupts]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, no. Hold it, hold it. Ho, ho, stop... Look, "Argh"?
Uh-huh...
Jimmy Lizard
What... what are ya, some kinda German pirate or somethin'?
I just got the script, like, five minutes ago... I'm trying...
Jimmy Lizard
Okay, sure, sure, um... you're not gettin' it...
Dolph! Where have you been? You nimwitted Eurotrash with the... what is that, a ski mask?
Uh, I, um, yah...
I like that! See, that's scary. Yeah that's good...
Um, b-boss...
WHAT? Say it! Spit it out! What's goin' on?
Um... boss, uh,
[interrupts, also in disguise]
Hi there! What he means to say is that I'm the building inspector.
Yah, yes!
I just need to tap the pipes; see if your wiring's up to par.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it, you're not... no, you can't touch anything in here.
[After Boingo finishes his song "Top of the Woods"]
Sweet tea and cookies! We've got to do something!
I know. The song was catchy, but the choreography was terrible.
[After Granny's trophies are revealed in her closet, including her Triple-G tattoo on the back of her neck] [beginning to tell her story]
It's true, I'm not like other grannies. I never did like the quilting bees and the bingo parlors. I'd rather live life to the extreme!
[As Red sits by a waterfall, she muses about her past. In one flashback, she finds a medal in a drawer]
Huh, what's this?
Oh, it says "World's Greatest Grandma."
Grandma, I can read. It says "Battle of the Iron Cage Gladiators."
[Black-and-white photos of Granny in a cage match are shown] [hiding her true nature]
If there's two things I don't do, it's lie, and play extreme sports.
[Boingo and Dolph arrive at the upper terminal and get off the tram; Boingo tosses Red's cloak on the car floor]
I don't like it. The cops are all over the place.
Forget about the cops! We've got everything we need right here!
What about the old lady? She's alive. She'll be back.
You just don't get it, do you, Dolph? I'm done! I'm done dancing for the man - The Muffin Man! And Granny! They can both take a hike! I'm never gonna answer to anyone ever again! [bursts out wailing, then cackles, then cries, all in a matter of seconds, then immediately sobers up] Oh! I just love my job! [he and Dolph start walking down the loading ramp] You see how it works, Dolph? You prioritize, you set your goals, you write a mission statement. You ask yourself, "Where do I see me in 5 years?"
[freezes, turns, and sees Red standing at the bottom of the ramp, glaring at him]
Red! Oh! Hey, Red! What are you-? You've spoiled the surprise!
You're the bandit!
I'm walkin' outta here with those recipes!
Yeah. [she and Boingo begin to face off] You're a bad bunny.
Ohh! Somebody's finally catchin' up! Did ya think I followed you around on your little deliveries because I liked you?! [he and Red start fighting] Oh, you best be fearing the ear, baby. [they continue fighting] Is that all you got? [wraps his ear around Red and tosses her to the ground] Ha! You hit like a girl! [they continue fighting] Come on! And kablam! [knocks Red down; she is about to cry] Why don't you go home and cry to your granny?! Dolph, tie up the brat. Lesa, hold the book. Vincent, get the truck. And Keith...Darn it, Keith, change your name. please, that's not scary, and I'm embarrassed to say it. Boris, try that. [Keith leaves while groaning out of anger] Keith...You know...Oh, watch out for Keith!
Say parchessi! [takes a picture of Boingo]
I know. The song was catchy, but their choreography was awful.
I. Can't. Tell you that!
Young man, you tell me this instant!
All right! [sniffles] We were hired by the bandit!
Who is the bandit?!
[Dolph growls, lets go of Granny, then pushes her off the cliff; Granny screams as she disappears into the fog] [pulls out his walkie-talkie and calls his boss]
Granny is finished. Now we go after the little red-hooded girl.
[The camera zooms down to show Granny hanging onto a branch just out of sight] [upon overhearing the conversation]
Red!
[During "Be Prepared", Red looks at a map of the mine tunnel network]
Are these tunnels? I need one that leads to Puckett Grove! [looks at Japeth, who is swinging around on the chandelier and yodeling] Oh... [sighs and turns back to the map]