[During his song "Top of the Woods"] [explaining his evil plan to Red]
I'm gonna need a lot of real estate down the mountain, so I've gotta blow the competition away. Oh, and that's not a metaphor. We've literally got to blow them away. Okay?
Red
Anne Hathaway · 25 quotes
The Wolf
Patrick Warburton · 20 quotes
Granny
Glenn Close · 19 quotes
Flippers
David Ogden Stiers · 12 quotes
Kirk/Woodsman
Jim Belushi · 12 quotes
Twitchy
Cory Edwards · 12 quotes
Chief Grizzly
Xzibit · 11 quotes
Det. Stork
Anthony Anderson · 4 quotes
Dolph
Tye Edwards · 3 quotes
Japeth
Benjy Gaither · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Red & Granny (8), Chief Grizzly & Flippers (8), Red & The Wolf (7)
Hoodwinked quotes
Page 3 of 5[Flippers has Kirk brought in to be interviewed; Kirk hits his head on the doorway coming into the room] [to Det. Stork about Kirk]
This guy's a loon.
Watch it, chief. My mama's half-loon.
[Chief Grizzly shoots him a "what?" look] [to Kirk]
My, my. You're a big fellow. Shop at the Big and Tall store?
This is a big and tall mistake! I would not hurt a butterfly!
Yeah that's a funny accent you got there, choppy.
I can do the Cowboy accent. [cowboy accent] "Howdy, partner!"
Indeed you can. Say, before you ride off into the sunset, you think you could rustle us up some information?
[Granny has just revealed her secret sports life to the police. Red is giving a disgusted look at her]
Honey, don't look at your granny like that.
I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G! Or are you the bandit?
You're being ridiculous, Red.
I'm being ridiculous?! You're off living...La Vida Loca, risking your life for some dumb thrills! And I'm supposed to stay home and be your happy little delivery girl?!
Coffee break, anyone?
Uh, yeah.
Raccoon Jerry
You think Granny would mind if I went through her garbage?
Excuse us.
Open your eyes. I've never even been outside of the forest. Don't you think I'd want more than that?
Of course you do. You're a Puckett.
[sighs]
I don't know what that means anymore. [takes off her red hood, drops it on the floor, and leaves the room]
[Granny sadly picks it up as she watches her granddaughter leave]
I'm not so little anymore!
Please, dear, you just keep the recipes there and everything will be fine.
But-
I have to go now. My program's on. Kisses. [blows air kisses and hangs up. The camera pulls back to show Granny is holding ski poles and wearing skis] Time to shred some powder!
[Granny meets her teammates before the Xtreme Dream ski race]
Ooh, almost forgot. I made you kids some snicker-doodles.
2-Tone
[Everyone starts talking at once]
Yo!
P-Biggie
Tight! Oh yeah, snicker-doodles, snicker-doodles! Give it up, give it up!
2-Tone
Gimme one of those!
Zorra
Yeah, snicker-doodles. Those are my favorite.
2-Tone
Snickadeedoo!
[Everyone looks at 2-Tone blankly]
[Kirk has just finished his story]
So, you didn't jump through the window, you were pushed. By a tree. Because you were pretending to be a woodsman. To sell foot cream.
I got the callback!
And good for you. Suffice to say, our thespian friend here knows the least about anything.
Exactly! What does that mean?
That it all points to Granny.
Turtle
[A tree with a populated bird's nest on it falls; one branch nearly hits two turtles]
RUN! [he and his mate start inching along with strained necks]
[Prior to the Xtreme Dream Snowsports Competition, Granny encounters Boingo]
Well, what's your name?
Umm...just put, "To my biggest and cutest fan, Boingo." And then, like, put some X's and O's and a little smiley face.
Huh? What's that? Who's there?
It's Red. I'm on my way to come see you-
Oh my, dearie, I-I'm not prepared! I need to...put down fresh doilies! Aah! [slips on something]
Granny! Granny! What's wrong?
Gotta go, munchkin. Banzai! [hangs up]
[a worried expression creeps over her face]
Oh no! [hangs up and turns to Japeth, wild-eyed] Mr. Goat, my granny's in trouble! I've got to find a way around the mountain, fast!
Oh, good! More singing...
[Red has been brought in to be interviewed]
What's with the handcuffs on a little girl? Her wrists could slip right out! How 'bout a cage?
I was being sarcastic.
[The guy on the other end of the radio groans] [sighs]
Well all right. Get the cuffs off her.
[The notary sharpens his pencil and Red's handcuffs are removed]
So, Red, why don't you explain how this all began?
Well, like any other day: I was making deliveries to my granny's goodie shop.
Woodpecker
[Red is in a treehouse, reading a magazine; a woodpecker flies up]
Watchya readin', Red? [sees the magazine cover] "Far Away Places"? Are you going somewhere far away?
No. The world is too dangerous for me. [throws her arms up in exasperation, in the process throwing her magazine away. It lands spread-open on a passing car]
Driver
[swerves and revs his engine]
Aah! Can't see! Danger! Turn into the skid! [cuts back to Red as we hear the sound of screeching tires, followed seconds later by a loud crash. Red gives a tense look to the camera] I'm okay! I'll walk it off!
Woodpecker
[Red relaxes]
You can't go away! Who's gonna ride the goody bike?
If I had wings like you, I'd fly all the way past that mountain, [waves towards a snowcapped peak in the distance] and the next one and the next one...but I can't. I'm just a kid.
Woodpecker
I'm just a woodpecker. [Red hears the sound of glass being shattered and flinches] Uh-oh. [Red shimmies down the rope and runs over to Granny's store, nearby, and finds the front window shattered. She opens the door, picks up a rock on the floor, and finds the words "YOU'RE NEXT!" written on it; fluttering down and landing next to Red's feet] "You're next!"? What does it mean, "You're next!"?
Owner
[Red hears a noise and sees the owner of the store next door tacking up a notice that reads "Out O' Business"]
Ruined... [turns and trudges away, muttering to herself]
[looks back at the store safe]
It means someone wants our recipes... [and with determination, she grabs the recipe book from the safe]
Woodpecker
Are they gonna get your recipes?
[Cut to the present day] [grabbing a sandwich from the fridge]
So, you deliberately took your granny's recipes from the family vault, without permission?
Help yourself.
And then, you set off on a dangerous journey up the mountain [flicks an olive off the toothpick, snatching it out of the air with his tongue] alone?
Yeah. I guess I did.
Could you stop singing for one moment?
[singing]
No I can't, wish I could, but a mountain witch done put a spell on me, 37 years agoooooooo, and now I gotta sing every thing I saaaaaaaaayyyyyy...
Everything?
You just talked! Just now!
Oh, did I? (sings) Did I? Dididididodadidididoooo...
No!
So! Mr. Wolf, may I call you Wolf?
You can call me Sheila. I like long walks and fresh flowers.
Quit playing around, Wolf! You're looking at 3 to 5 in an old shoe with no windows, so start singin'!
I get around the forest.
What do you do for a living, Mr. Wolf?
I'm a shepherd. [Stork strikes his hand with his baton] Hey!
You might as well confess! I told them everything!
Will you keep her away from me, please!
I remember you! Three years ago on the Stiltskin case, you were snooping around for a lead on his real name.
Hang on! Wait a minute, Flippers, you're saying this guy's a cop?
Worse. He's a reporter.
A what?!
And I've got the real story.
Use the hood, Red! Use the hood!
[Red unfastens her cloak, which turns into a parachute as the cart plummets to Earth. As she emerges from the clouds...]
What?! [looks in disbelief as Japeth flies past her, holding his banjo and wearing antlers with rotors on the ends]
I was prepared! [flies up and away as Red looks on, bemused]
Vincent
[The skiers are lined up at the starting line]
Oh, yeah.
You be careful, Granny Puckett! Old ladies get hurt on these slopes!
Bring it, honey.