Boingo You've been Hoodwinked, baby!
Voiced by Andy Dick 
Hoodwinked (2005) · 71 quotes
Hoodwinked (2005) · 71 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Hoodwinked (2005): in 13 of its 71 quotes
Most scenes with: Red (4), The Wolf (2), Granny (2)
And Keith-- darn it, change your name! It's not scary, and I'm embarassed to say it.
More lines from Boingo
4 quotes Boingo Boingo Maybe so, but I'm top of the woods now baby!
Boingo Oh, you'd best be fearing the ear baby!
Boingo I smell hairspray.
Scenes with Boingo
8 scenes Boingo [to tied and gagged Red]
Hey, you're a delivery girl, right? Then could you do me a favor? Could you take this down the mountain? 'Cause it absolutely, positively has to be there TONIGHT!
Boingo Dolph! Where have you been? You nimwitted Eurotrash with the... what is that, a ski mask?
Uh, I, um, yah...
Boingo I like that! See, that's scary. Yeah that's good...
Um, b-boss...
Boingo WHAT? Say it! Spit it out! What's goin' on?
Um... boss, uh,
[interrupts, also in disguise]
Hi there! What he means to say is that I'm the building inspector.
Yah, yes!
I just need to tap the pipes; see if your wiring's up to par.
Boingo Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it, you're not... no, you can't touch anything in here.
Boingo [While Red is riding her bike, Boingo spots her]
Hey Red! [hops into her basket] Oh, nice outfit! Always "red" with you. You must be in autumn.
Boingo [glumly]
No, he closed up shop. Somebody took all his recipes last night and now I'm out of a job!
Oh, gee, Boingo, I'm really sorry! Are you still running the cable car?
Boingo Yeah. Yeah, I am, but it's nothin' like making goodies all day. I'll tell you that.
Would a carrot crumpet make you feel better? [hands him one]
Boingo [brightens]
Oh boy, oh boy! Thanks, Red! I can always count on you to deliver, you little rascally...devil!
Yeah, well, the woods don't go 'round by themselves.
Mother Beaver
[Boingo hops away. Then Red sees a family of four beavers abandoning their boarded up roadside snack shack]
Come on, let's go.
Child Beaver
Where are we going now, mama?
[narrating]
With the Goodie Bandit on the loose, recipes were becoming an endangered species. I decided to call Granny. If anyone would know what to do, she would.
[Cut to Granny talking on the phone with her while knitting]
I don't know what to do. I'm just a tired old lady.
Your recipes are the most famous in the whole forest, Granny! What if they get swiped? It could wipe you out! Maybe I should bring you the recipe book, just for safekeeping!
A trip up the mountain is too dangerous for a little girl.
I'm not so little anymore!
Please, dear, you just keep the recipes there and everything will be fine.
But-
I have to go now. My program's on. Kisses. [blows air kisses and hangs up]
Boingo I guess running the cable car's not so bad. You know, it's a great way to see the forest without having to worry about all the big, hairy beasts down there!
Boingo [hops over towards her end of the cabin]
Oh, yeah, you know, beasts- the-the wolves, and the bobcats, and the mountain lions, and the...sabre tooth tigers! Bu-but mostly wolves. Mostly wolves. Forests can be a dangerous place for a little guy like me, with my, well look at me, I'm fuzzy. Hey, you deliver up this far?
Well, not usually. But I was thinking about what you told me earlier - about the Muffin Man? I need to protect Granny's recipes from that bandit's evil plan. They're gonna shut down everyone in the forest if we're not careful. [the doors fly open and she flails around, trying to keep her balance]
Boingo No! [jumps for Red's basket]
[But Red grabs the basket as she slips and falls towards the woods below, bounces on the branches, and softly hits the ground. She gets up, finds herself in the forest, and has just seen two hungry eyes glaring at her when a squirrel named Twitchy lands and takes a photo of her. She turns and gasps to find herself face to face with the Wolf]
Afternoon.
So, you're the little girl in the red hood? That was quite a bit of falling you did just now.
Oh, you saw that.
Yep, gravity's working. Those old cable cars on the...You should write a letter. [sniffs] Wow, something smells good. Are those...goodies in there?
I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.
No, you shouldn't. Good call. So what are you doing out here in the big bad forest? You taking the goodies to someone in particular?
Uhhh...my granny.
Granny? Granny Puckett, the goodie lady? My goodness, she makes some good...goodies. She's got a thing. It's like a, uh, it's like, a, uh...cookies, shortbread chocolate icing between very... [sighs] It's good. Uh, it's very good. You make deliveries to your granny often?
Ah, you don't have anything else in that basket?
You ask a lot of questions, mister!
Well, I'm a curious guy. Let me have a look.
I'd rather you didn't.
[The Wolf lets out a ferocious roar. Red screams and immediately runs away]
[Prior to the Xtreme Dream Snowsports Competition, Granny encounters Boingo]
Well, what's your name?
Boingo Umm...just put, "To my biggest and cutest fan, Boingo." And then, like, put some X's and O's and a little smiley face.
[Boingo and Dolph arrive at the upper terminal and get off the tram; Boingo tosses Red's cloak on the car floor]
I don't like it. The cops are all over the place.
Boingo Forget about the cops! We've got everything we need right here!
What about the old lady? She's alive. She'll be back.
Boingo You just don't get it, do you, Dolph? I'm done! I'm done dancing for the man - The Muffin Man! And Granny! They can both take a hike! I'm never gonna answer to anyone ever again! [bursts out wailing, then cackles, then cries, all in a matter of seconds, then immediately sobers up] Oh! I just love my job! [he and Dolph start walking down the loading ramp] You see how it works, Dolph? You prioritize, you set your goals, you write a mission statement. You ask yourself, "Where do I see me in 5 years?"
Boingo [freezes, turns, and sees Red standing at the bottom of the ramp, glaring at him]
Red! Oh! Hey, Red! What are you-? You've spoiled the surprise!
You're the bandit!
Boingo [pause, looks at Lesa and Vincent, then back at Red]
Surprise!
I'm walkin' outta here with those recipes!
Boingo [angered]
Really?
Yeah. [she and Boingo begin to face off] You're a bad bunny.
Boingo Ohh! Somebody's finally catchin' up! Did ya think I followed you around on your little deliveries because I liked you?! [he and Red start fighting] Oh, you best be fearing the ear, baby. [they continue fighting] Is that all you got? [wraps his ear around Red and tosses her to the ground] Ha! You hit like a girl! [they continue fighting] Come on! And kablam! [knocks Red down; she is about to cry] Why don't you go home and cry to your granny?! Dolph, tie up the brat. Lesa, hold the book. Vincent, get the truck. And Keith...Darn it, Keith, change your name. please, that's not scary, and I'm embarrassed to say it. Boris, try that. [Keith leaves while groaning out of anger] Keith...You know...Oh, watch out for Keith!
Boingo [During his song "Top of the Woods"] [explaining his evil plan to Red]
I'm gonna need a lot of real estate down the mountain, so I've gotta blow the competition away. Oh, and that's not a metaphor. We've literally got to blow them away. Okay?
Boingo [Boingo and his henchmen are being put in the police wagon]
No no no no no, not prison!
Say parchessi! [takes a picture of Boingo]
Boingo [while being taking away to prison]
NOT PRISON! NOT FOR A CUTE LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT!
