Inspector Gadget (1999) · 49 quotes
4th most-quoted character in Inspector Gadget (1999): in 9 of its 49 quotes
Most scenes with: Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw (9), Sykes (6), RoboGadget (3)
Not bad, Kramer. Not bad at all. This is sort of post-modern Captain Hook kind of field and I'm diabolical. I deserve a dashing appelatian.
Kramer A dashing appelatian? What is that, a hillbilly with a tuxedo?
No, you idiot! It's a nickname, one that send my enemies cowering in fear. Too bad Hook is taken, eh?
How about Captain Claw?
No, no, no, no.
Kramer Or Santa Claw.
Just Claw. One word like Madonna.
Kramer Well, anywho, captain, sir, Mr. Claw, I know how much you like to maintain an active lifestyle so I have managed to design a few interchangable options.
Very clever, Kramer.
Very clever, indeed.
Kramer Well, first we have the opera hand; For those special nights out. And I know how much you enjoy Japanese food so I made you a sushi hand. See there? Tasty. Also, I don't remember if you enjoyed that medieval fair but...
Kramer, that's enough. (to Sykes) Sykes, bring on the foot.
(Dr. Claw closes the case, pinning Kramer's hand)
A quality of this android can be uses: shock troops, kamikazis, and hitmen.
Kramer International rescue workers features.
Oh yes, I was getting to them. Well, let's see it in action. I strip myself in. Okay, turn me on, Kramer.
Kramer I've pretty much completed Prometheus per your specifications. And I must say the likeness is really quite convincing.
Good. Imitation is a serious form of flattery, Kramer.
Kramer Isn't that Dr. Brenda Bradford's private data?
Yes. I tapped into her files and stole her research.
Kramer Why would you do that?
Imagine my relief to have her support.
Kramer Anyway, sir. Like I said, without the chip, you... (Dr. Claw shows his chip) So you made the chip.
Hey, that's just looks like the guy we almost killed.
Kramer I didn't hear that!
Chips ahoy! Good morning, RoboGadget. You are the most advanced piece of computer technology in the world. What are you going to do now?
I'm going to kick some butt.
Oh, salty!
He looks so real.
(RoboGadget pokes Sykes' eyes)
Your current replacement is helping people to cross the street.
Hey, he looks just like me. I don't get it. Why would you do this?
Kramer To make teachers!
Shut up! I'll tell you why. To make techno-warriors that never get tired, never get hungry, and never say "no". Every army in the world would be made up of my creations. Imagine the confusion, Gadget, huh? Imagine the bricks. Comprende?
Yeah, I comprende.
No, no, no. I comprendo, you comprendo. Can't you get the word for Pete's sake? Pull out his safe chip before he butchers another language.
Kramer You're kidding, right? Ok, you see, he's always kidding! I never know.
Yes, I know. I wanna make sure nobody else could develop their own android. Do it or you'll be building yourself a new head.
An android of this quality could have a myriad of uses: shock troops, kamikaze pilots, hit men.
Kramer International rescue workers, teachers.
Oh, yes, I was getting to them. Well, let's see it in action, huh?
Kramer Okay.
Ohh. I'll just strap myself in. Okay, turn me on, Kramer. [Kramer activates machine, and Dr. Claw strains heavily] Move! Darn you, move! [Kramer slaps the head for a response, but gets nothing]
It's a lemon.
Thank you for that, Sykes. You put it on. Come on.
Why can't he do it?
He's capable of intelligent thought. That's useful to me. [chuckles] Now I'll strap you in. Perhaps if we give him maximum voltage.
Kramer Yeah, that, uh, might work.
I want my MAMA! [continues howling in pain.]
Something got left behind. [Kramer slaps the robot's head again] What does Brenda have that I don't?
Kramer Okey-dokle, Sir. I've, uh, pretty much completed "Prometheus", per your specifications. And I must say the likeness is really quite convincing.
Good. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Kramer.
Kramer Hey, isn't that Dr. Brenda Bradford's private data?
Oh. Yes. I tapped into her files and stole her research.
Kramer Why would you do that?
"Why would you do that? Why would you do that?" [chortles mockingly and pinches Kramer's nose] Kramer, don't look so nonplussed. [lets go of Kramer's nose] Now that Dr. Bradford is part of the "Scolex Team", we share everything, or at least, we will.
Kramer Oh. Well, I think sharing files is a great way to bring the company together, you know, to make sure we're all singin' off the same song sheet, so to speak.
Imagine my relief to have your support.
Kramer Anyway, sir, like I said, without the chip, I don't think-- [Dr. Claw shows his chip] Oh! So, you made the chip.
Hey. That's just looks like the guy we almost killed.
Kramer Ohh, I didn't hear that!
Chips ahoy. [inserts the chip and activates RoboGadget, and gasps]
Wow.
Kramer Oh, sweet Lordy.
Good morning, RoboGadget. You have just been activated by the most advanced piece of computer technology in the world. What are you going to do now?
It looks so real. [RoboGadget hits him] Yeow!
Kramer Oh!
Greetings, Inspector. Glad you could drop in.
I owe you one, Scolex.
Oh?
You blew up me and my Chevette. And I really liked that car.
Well, you crushed my hand, and I really liked that hand. So Go, Go, get over it.
I don't know what you're up to, Scolex, but you'll never get away with it!
Oh, how cliché, Inspector. I think somebody's been watching too many Saturday morning cartoons. [Claw, Kramer, and Inspector Gadget look at the viewer. Sykes looks puzzled.]. Unfortunately, Gadget, in the real world, evil often quite prevails. Tsk. Afraid so. [to Sykes] Pull him up. [Sykes pushes button to turn Gadget upwards.] Now, look how your current replacement is helping people... [chortles] ...to cross the street.
Hey, he looks just like me. I don't get it. Why would you do this?
Kramer To make teachers!
Kramer Oh! [whimpers]
I'll tell you why. To make techno-warriors that never get tired, never get hungry, and never say "no". Every army in the world would be made up of my creations. Imagine the confusion, Gadget, huh? Imagine the perks. COMPRENDÉ?!
Yeah, I comprendé.
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. I comprendo, yo comprendo. Conjugate the word, for pity's sake.
Pull his N.S.A. chip before he butchers another language.
Kramer You're kidding, right? Okay, you see, he's always kidding! I never know.
This time, no. I wanna make sure nobody else can develop their own android. Do it! or you'll be building yourself a new head.
Kramer Ohh.
Kramer Okay, I am not here right now. I am on a beach, with dolphins. And, oh, hi, look, it's a Starfish. [opens eyes] I don't feel so good. Ohh. [faints]
I'm sorry, Gadget. Good help is so hard to find these days. Would you mind if I do the honors, hmm? [Gadget shakes his head.] Well, here goes. Arrivèderci, ciao, ciao. [removes chip from Gadget and shuts him down.] Good-bye, Mr. Chip. [destroys N.S.A. chip, and the camera cuts to Gadget, with a shocked expression] Dump this idiot in the junkyard.
Yes, boss. [grabs Kramer]
Okay, boss! You with the beard, come here!
