Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw Sykes, release the remote control robots now.
Most-quoted character in Inspector Gadget (1999): in 25 of its 49 quotes
Most scenes with: Sykes (9), Kramer (9), Brenda Bradford (5)
This Is Not Good-Bye. I'll Get You Next Time, Gadget! I'll Get You!
More lines from Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw
5 quotes Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw Stop the car, Sykes. I wanna enjoy this.
Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw Just Claw. One word. Like Madonna
Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw Well, if it isn't that annoying security guard from the incident.
Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw You crushed my hand and I really liked that hand. So Go Go get over it it.
Scenes with Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw
19 scenes Dr. Claw Not bad, Kramer. Not bad at all. This is sort of post-modern Captain Hook kind of field and I'm diabolical. I deserve a dashing appelatian.
A dashing appelatian? What is that, a hillbilly with a tuxedo?
Dr. Claw No, you idiot! It's a nickname, one that send my enemies cowering in fear. Too bad Hook is taken, eh?
How about Captain Claw?
Dr. Claw No, no, no, no.
Or Santa Claw.
Dr. Claw Just Claw. One word like Madonna.
Well, anywho, captain, sir, Mr. Claw, I know how much you like to maintain an active lifestyle so I have managed to design a few interchangable options.
Dr. Claw Very clever, Kramer.
Dr. Claw Very clever, indeed.
Well, first we have the opera hand; For those special nights out. And I know how much you enjoy Japanese food so I made you a sushi hand. See there? Tasty. Also, I don't remember if you enjoyed that medieval fair but...
Dr. Claw Kramer, that's enough. (to Sykes) Sykes, bring on the foot.
(Dr. Claw closes the case, pinning Kramer's hand)
Dr. Claw A quality of this android can be uses: shock troops, kamikazis, and hitmen.
International rescue workers features.
Dr. Claw Oh yes, I was getting to them. Well, let's see it in action. I strip myself in. Okay, turn me on, Kramer.
Dr. Claw Move! Darn you, move!
It's the lever.
Dr. Claw Thank you for that, Sykes. We'll put it on you. Come on.
Why can't he do it?
Dr. Claw He's capable of intelligent thoughts. That's useful to me.
Dr. Claw Sykes!
Yes, boss?
Dr. Claw Get my tuxedo ready. Tomorrow, promises to be quite an evening.
Dr. Claw Brenda, Sanford Scolex. We were at Harvard together.
We were?
Dr. Claw Oh, you don't recognize me; that's because I've changed. I was obese. Maybe you remember me like this.
(Dr. Claw fills his mouth with air to make Brenda remember)
I've pretty much completed Prometheus per your specifications. And I must say the likeness is really quite convincing.
Dr. Claw Good. Imitation is a serious form of flattery, Kramer.
Isn't that Dr. Brenda Bradford's private data?
Dr. Claw Yes. I tapped into her files and stole her research.
Why would you do that?
Dr. Claw (mocking)
Why would you do that? Why would you do that?
Dr. Claw (Dr. Claw pinches Dr. Kramer's nose)
Kramer, don't look so numb plus.
Dr. Claw Imagine my relief to have her support.
Anyway, sir. Like I said, without the chip, you... (Dr. Claw shows his chip) So you made the chip.
Hey, that's just looks like the guy we almost killed.
I didn't hear that!
Dr. Claw (Dr. Claw inserts the chip to activate RoboGadget)
Chips ahoy! Good morning, RoboGadget. You are the most advanced piece of computer technology in the world. What are you going to do now?
I'm going to kick some butt.
Dr. Claw Oh, salty!
He looks so real.
(RoboGadget pokes Sykes' eyes)
Dr. Claw Greetings, inspector. Glad you could drop in.
I owe you one, Scolex. You blew me up and my chevette. And I really liked that car.
Dr. Claw Well, you crushed my hand and I really liked that hand. So Go Go get over it.
I know what you're up to, Scolex, but you'll never get away with this.
Dr. Claw How cliche, inspector. I think somebody's been watching too many Satuday morning cartoons.
Dr. Claw (Dr. Claw and Dr. Kramer look at Sykes)
Unfortunately, Gadget, in the real world, evil often quite prevails. 'Fraid so. (to Sykes) Pull him up.
Dr. Claw Your current replacement is helping people to cross the street.
Hey, he looks just like me. I don't get it. Why would you do this?
To make teachers!
Dr. Claw Shut up! I'll tell you why. To make techno-warriors that never get tired, never get hungry, and never say "no". Every army in the world would be made up of my creations. Imagine the confusion, Gadget, huh? Imagine the bricks. Comprende?
Yeah, I comprende.
Dr. Claw No, no, no. I comprendo, you comprendo. Can't you get the word for Pete's sake? Pull out his safe chip before he butchers another language.
You're kidding, right? Ok, you see, he's always kidding! I never know.
Dr. Claw Yes, I know. I wanna make sure nobody else could develop their own android. Do it or you'll be building yourself a new head.
Dr. Claw Dump this idiot in the junkyard. (Sykes grabs Dr. Kramer) Not that idiot, this one.
I wish you'd be specific, we got an awful lotta idiots 'round here.
Dr. Claw Attention, RoboGadget, destroy the city completely and have some fun.
Sure thing, boss.
Two things, Scolex! One, you are completely insane! Two, I like you better fat!
Dr. Claw (Dr. Claw gets shocked by this)
Bring on the brownies! Whip up the waffles and bring the _______!
Dr. Claw Darn! That fellow will not give us a break!
For the third time, Sanford Scolex, you are under arrest!
Dr. Claw Let me give you a lift. Where could I drop you off?
I could answer but I don't really care.
John, help up here! Take my hand!
Dr. Claw Hi, John, how you're doing down there?
John!
Dr. Claw JOHN!!
Dr. Claw An android of this quality could have a myriad of uses: shock troops, kamikaze pilots, hit men.
International rescue workers, teachers.
Dr. Claw Oh, yes, I was getting to them. Well, let's see it in action, huh?
Okay.
Dr. Claw [Dr. Claw lowers the helmet on his head.]
Ohh. I'll just strap myself in. Okay, turn me on, Kramer. [Kramer activates machine, and Dr. Claw strains heavily] Move! Darn you, move! [Kramer slaps the head for a response, but gets nothing]
It's a lemon.
Dr. Claw [stops straining as the machine powers down.]
Thank you for that, Sykes. You put it on. Come on.
Why can't he do it?
Dr. Claw He's capable of intelligent thought. That's useful to me. [chuckles] Now I'll strap you in. Perhaps if we give him maximum voltage.
[Claw activates machine to maximum voltage, but Sykes howls in pain.] [in pain]
I want my MAMA! [continues howling in pain.]
Dr. Claw Something got left behind. [Kramer slaps the robot's head again] What does Brenda have that I don't?
Dr. Claw [Dr. Claw interrupts Brenda and John's dancing.]
May I cut in? [John and Brenda look at Dr. Claw.] Hello. Sanford Scolex. We were at Harvard together.
We were?
Dr. Claw Oh, you don't recognize me. That's because I've changed. [whispers to Brenda] I was obese. [chuckles] Maybe you remember me like this. [mimics a fat face]
[gasps; remembers]
Yes! [Dr. Claw and Brenda laugh] Wow! [Dr. Claw stops laughing] Well, i-it's nice to see you again.
Well, it's really nice seeing you. You look...different.
Okey-dokle, Sir. I've, uh, pretty much completed "Prometheus", per your specifications. And I must say the likeness is really quite convincing.
Dr. Claw Good. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Kramer.
Hey, isn't that Dr. Brenda Bradford's private data?
Dr. Claw Oh. Yes. I tapped into her files and stole her research.
Why would you do that?
Dr. Claw [mocking]
"Why would you do that? Why would you do that?" [chortles mockingly and pinches Kramer's nose] Kramer, don't look so nonplussed. [lets go of Kramer's nose] Now that Dr. Bradford is part of the "Scolex Team", we share everything, or at least, we will.
Oh. Well, I think sharing files is a great way to bring the company together, you know, to make sure we're all singin' off the same song sheet, so to speak.
Dr. Claw Imagine my relief to have your support.
Anyway, sir, like I said, without the chip, I don't think-- [Dr. Claw shows his chip] Oh! So, you made the chip.
Hey. That's just looks like the guy we almost killed.
Dr. Claw Chips ahoy. [inserts the chip and activates RoboGadget, and gasps]
Sikes
Wow.
Oh, sweet Lordy.
Dr. Claw Good morning, RoboGadget. You have just been activated by the most advanced piece of computer technology in the world. What are you going to do now?
Dr. Claw [chortles]
Very saucy.
It looks so real. [RoboGadget hits him] Yeow!
Oh!
Dr. Claw [laughs triumphantly]
Very good, yes! Oh, Robo, nothing can stop us now!
Dr. Claw Greetings, Inspector. Glad you could drop in.
I owe you one, Scolex.
Dr. Claw Oh?
You blew up me and my Chevette. And I really liked that car.
Dr. Claw Well, you crushed my hand, and I really liked that hand. So Go, Go, get over it.
I don't know what you're up to, Scolex, but you'll never get away with it!
Dr. Claw [chortles]
Oh, how cliché, Inspector. I think somebody's been watching too many Saturday morning cartoons. [Claw, Kramer, and Inspector Gadget look at the viewer. Sykes looks puzzled.]. Unfortunately, Gadget, in the real world, evil often quite prevails. Tsk. Afraid so. [to Sykes] Pull him up. [Sykes pushes button to turn Gadget upwards.] Now, look how your current replacement is helping people... [chortles] ...to cross the street.
Hey, he looks just like me. I don't get it. Why would you do this?
To make teachers!
Dr. Claw [angrily]
SHUT UP!
Oh! [whimpers]
Dr. Claw I'll tell you why. To make techno-warriors that never get tired, never get hungry, and never say "no". Every army in the world would be made up of my creations. Imagine the confusion, Gadget, huh? Imagine the perks. COMPRENDÉ?!
Yeah, I comprendé.
Dr. Claw [annoyed chuckle]
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. I comprendo, yo comprendo. Conjugate the word, for pity's sake.
Dr. Claw Pull his N.S.A. chip before he butchers another language.
You're kidding, right? Okay, you see, he's always kidding! I never know.
Dr. Claw This time, no. I wanna make sure nobody else can develop their own android. Do it! or you'll be building yourself a new head.
Ohh.
[closes eyes]
Okay, I am not here right now. I am on a beach, with dolphins. And, oh, hi, look, it's a Starfish. [opens eyes] I don't feel so good. Ohh. [faints]
Dr. Claw I'm sorry, Gadget. Good help is so hard to find these days. Would you mind if I do the honors, hmm? [Gadget shakes his head.] Well, here goes. Arrivèderci, ciao, ciao. [removes chip from Gadget and shuts him down.] Good-bye, Mr. Chip. [destroys N.S.A. chip, and the camera cuts to Gadget, with a shocked expression] Dump this idiot in the junkyard.
Yes, boss. [grabs Kramer]
Dr. Claw [chortles]
Oh, no, not that idiot, this one.
Dr. Claw [types on keyboard]
Attention, RoboGadget. Destroy the city and have some fun.
Okay, boss! You with the beard, come here!
Two things, Scolex! One, you are completely insane, and two, I liked you better fat!
Dr. Claw [Dr. Claw gasps in shock, and Sniffy hides under the seat] [getting an idea]
Bring on the brownies! Ha! Wheel in the waffles! I'm ready to binge! Ha-ha-ha! [Inspector Gadget arrives in his helicopter hat to save Brenda] Darn! That fellow will not give us a break!
For the third time! Sanford Scolex, you are under arrest!
Dr. Claw [missile destroys Inspector Gadget's helicopter hat.] [mocking]
Go Go Go Go Go Gadget! [sticks out tongue and laughs mockingly. Gadget stands up. Dr. Claw flies after Gadget and laughs evilly.]
John!
Dr. Claw [Dr. Claw lifts Inspector Gadget on his helicopter landing gear]
Let me give you a lift! [laughs evilly] Where can I drop you off?
I'd answer, but I doubt you'd really care! [whimpers in fear]
John, I'm up here! Take my hand!
Dr. Claw Hi, John, how you're doing down there?
John!
Dr. Claw [mocks Brenda]
"John!" [laughs mockingly]
John! I know you can save us! Think of something!
I'm working on it! [takes out pen from his finger and spends time making something out of it.]
Hurry! [grunts]
[closes both eyes and imitates Swami]
Try to visualize your goal. [echoes] Visualize your goal.
Dr. Claw [in slow-mo, Gadget quickly pulls apart the pen, and, in normal speed, makes ink cartridge slingshot onto Dr. Claw's button on his claw, destroying the joystick and freeing Brenda.] [his claw is still moving]
Ugh. Back to the drawing board! [Brenda punches him three times, leaving him stunned]
Brenda, jump! Right on my back!
Dr. Claw Oh, Brenda, don't jump! For God's sake, we can work this out! Darling, sweetie pie, really! [Brenda screams and jumps on Gadget. Dr. Claw tries control his helicopter but can't.] My God! Me, I'm out of control!
[Inspector Gadget and Brenda slide off of Dr. Claw's helicopter landing gear]
Go, Go, Gadget, Air Brakes! Uh, Go, Go, Gadget, Airplane! I don't know what to "Go, Go" anymore!
Didn't you read the manual?! Try something else!
[trying to activate other Gadgets while he and Brenda fall]
Go, Go, Gadget, Glider! Go, Go, Gadget, Balloon! Go, Go, Gadget, Parachute! Go, Go, Gadget, Giant Trampoline! Go, Go, Gadget, Circus Net! Go, Go, Gadget, Featherbed! Go, Go, Gadget, Hay Wagon! Go, Go, Gadget, Bubble Wrap! Go, Go, Gadget, Parasail! Parakeet! Paraglider! Parasol! [deploys umbrella from his hat; surprised] Umbrella?
I did? I guess I did! Wowzer!
Just watch out for the big head.
[not understanding Brenda]
Understood, Brenda. You know, arrogance can sneak up on you, and I've always felt that--
[sees Scolex's statue]
Oh, no! [he bumps into the statue, and he and Brenda are separated as they fall, with Gadget's parachute deploying through his back, while the statue falls backwards, and the head breaks off of the statue]
