Say bye-bye to the rookie.
Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw
Rupert Everett · 25 quotes
John Brown/Inspector Gadget
19 quotes
Sykes
10 quotes
Brenda Bradford
Joely Fisher · 8 quotes
RoboGadget
Matthew Broderick · 8 quotes
Penny
Michelle Trachtenberg · 7 quotes
Most scenes together: Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw & Sykes (9), Sanford Scolex/Dr. Claw & Kramer (9), Kramer & Sykes (6)
Inspector Gadget quotes
Page 1 of 4I've got something special to show you. Ta-da! The Gadgetmobile.
Inspector Gadget
Wow.
It's for you. [Gadget is stunned] I made it myself. Come on.
Inspector Gadget
You made me a car? The only thing anybody's ever made me before is a sweater!
All right. Now, it may look simple, but this thing has just about as many factory extras as you do. [Gadget hesitates] Come on. Get in there.
Inspector Gadget
Oh.
Watch the coat. Okay.
Inspector Gadget
[intrigued]
Gosh. She's incredible.
Oh, it's a he.
Inspector Gadget
Excuse me?
You'll see. Okay, now, it has voice activation, ejection seats, a power-assisted metamorphic camouflage system, a cardio-homing device, then there's a periscope, a candy--
Inspector Gadget
Dr. Bradford, there's something I just have to ask you.
Oh, just say "Go, Go, Gadgetmobile."
Inspector Gadget
Yes, but will you-- "Go, Go, Gadgetmobile"?
Gadgetmobile
Good mornin', Riverton! Hey! Who's in the car? I work alone! [he drives off with Gadget in the seat] Hey. Before we hit the road, I gotta tell you somethin'. Duck!
Inspector Gadget
I don't think the car likes me!
Gadgetmobile
Who you calling "car"? I'm a crime-fighting machine. Watch this. Back turn! Haven't you fallen out yet?
Inspector Gadget
No, sir, I haven't!
Gadgetmobile
Who are you, rookie?
Inspector Gadget
I'm Officer John Brown, and you're exceeding the speed limit.
Gadgetmobile
[Inspector Gadget tries to stop the Gadgetmobile, but can't]
Speed limits are for cars, not the Gadgetmobile.
Inspector Gadget
Are you… Are you talking to me?
Gadgetmobile
Speaking of breaking the law, who's not wearing a seat belt? You gotta wear the belt, baby. [fastens belt with the "Inspector Gadget" logo.] It's a Disney movie. Now, I'm gonna find me some crime. Whoo! More back turns!
Inspector Gadget
Can you slow down, please? I-- I get carsick.
Gadgetmobile
Well, you know what makes me people-sick? A rookie thinkin' he's good enough for Dr. B.
Inspector Gadget
Not that it's any of your business, but what makes you think I was putting the moves on Dr. Bradford?
Gadgetmobile
Hey, I got heat sensors, and I know what you're thinkin' when Dr. B. gave you that smile. Now, look here, come clean with me, or I'm gonna bounce you right outta here.
Inspector Gadget
I can assure you, my only interest in Dr. Bradford is professional.
Gadgetmobile
[laughs sarcastically]
Professional, huh? Well, good. Keep it that way, and that's an order. You got it?
Inspector Gadget
Uh, I'm the inspector, you're the car.
Gadgetmobile
I'll tell you what you are. You're the… [Gadget punches Gadgetmobile] Don't make me go "De La Hoya!" on you!
Inspector Gadget
Isn't there an off-button or something? A mute? [Paintball hits a man] Sorry, sir!
Gadgetmobile
Don't push my buttons without reading the manual! [sees hot dog vendor] Ooh, watch out there, now! [avoids hot dog vendor] Ha-ha!
Hot Dog Vendor Hmm?!
Gadgetmobile
Oh, man, I got a June bug in my grill. [spits out June bug, which splats on the camera lens.]
Inspector Gadget
Shouldn't we be working together, helping people?!
Gadgetmobile
Why didn't you say so? [stops] Yo, close-up! Nine o'clock! Left, you idiot!
Two things, Scolex! One, you are completely insane! Two, I like you better fat!
(Dr. Claw gets shocked by this)
Bring on the brownies! Whip up the waffles and bring the _______!
Two things, Scolex! One, you are completely insane, and two, I liked you better fat!
[Dr. Claw gasps in shock, and Sniffy hides under the seat] [getting an idea]
Bring on the brownies! Ha! Wheel in the waffles! I'm ready to binge! Ha-ha-ha! [Inspector Gadget arrives in his helicopter hat to save Brenda] Darn! That fellow will not give us a break!
For the third time! Sanford Scolex, you are under arrest!
[missile destroys Inspector Gadget's helicopter hat.] [mocking]
Go Go Go Go Go Gadget! [sticks out tongue and laughs mockingly. Gadget stands up. Dr. Claw flies after Gadget and laughs evilly.]
John!
[Dr. Claw lifts Inspector Gadget on his helicopter landing gear]
Let me give you a lift! [laughs evilly] Where can I drop you off?
I'd answer, but I doubt you'd really care! [whimpers in fear]
John, I'm up here! Take my hand!
Hi, John, how you're doing down there?
John!
John! I know you can save us! Think of something!
I'm working on it! [takes out pen from his finger and spends time making something out of it.]
Hurry! [grunts]
[closes both eyes and imitates Swami]
Try to visualize your goal. [echoes] Visualize your goal.
[in slow-mo, Gadget quickly pulls apart the pen, and, in normal speed, makes ink cartridge slingshot onto Dr. Claw's button on his claw, destroying the joystick and freeing Brenda.] [his claw is still moving]
Ugh. Back to the drawing board! [Brenda punches him three times, leaving him stunned]
Brenda, jump! Right on my back!
Oh, Brenda, don't jump! For God's sake, we can work this out! Darling, sweetie pie, really! [Brenda screams and jumps on Gadget. Dr. Claw tries control his helicopter but can't.] My God! Me, I'm out of control!
[Inspector Gadget and Brenda slide off of Dr. Claw's helicopter landing gear]
Go, Go, Gadget, Air Brakes! Uh, Go, Go, Gadget, Airplane! I don't know what to "Go, Go" anymore!
Didn't you read the manual?! Try something else!
[trying to activate other Gadgets while he and Brenda fall]
Go, Go, Gadget, Glider! Go, Go, Gadget, Balloon! Go, Go, Gadget, Parachute! Go, Go, Gadget, Giant Trampoline! Go, Go, Gadget, Circus Net! Go, Go, Gadget, Featherbed! Go, Go, Gadget, Hay Wagon! Go, Go, Gadget, Bubble Wrap! Go, Go, Gadget, Parasail! Parakeet! Paraglider! Parasol! [deploys umbrella from his hat; surprised] Umbrella?
I did? I guess I did! Wowzer!
Just watch out for the big head.
[not understanding Brenda]
Understood, Brenda. You know, arrogance can sneak up on you, and I've always felt that--
[sees Scolex's statue]
Oh, no! [he bumps into the statue, and he and Brenda are separated as they fall, with Gadget's parachute deploying through his back, while the statue falls backwards, and the head breaks off of the statue]
A quality of this android can be uses: shock troops, kamikazis, and hitmen.
International rescue workers features.
Oh yes, I was getting to them. Well, let's see it in action. I strip myself in. Okay, turn me on, Kramer.
An android of this quality could have a myriad of uses: shock troops, kamikaze pilots, hit men.
International rescue workers, teachers.
Oh, yes, I was getting to them. Well, let's see it in action, huh?
Okay.
[Dr. Claw lowers the helmet on his head.]
Ohh. I'll just strap myself in. Okay, turn me on, Kramer. [Kramer activates machine, and Dr. Claw strains heavily] Move! Darn you, move! [Kramer slaps the head for a response, but gets nothing]
It's a lemon.
[stops straining as the machine powers down.]
Thank you for that, Sykes. You put it on. Come on.
Why can't he do it?
He's capable of intelligent thought. That's useful to me. [chuckles] Now I'll strap you in. Perhaps if we give him maximum voltage.
[Claw activates machine to maximum voltage, but Sykes howls in pain.] [in pain]
I want my MAMA! [continues howling in pain.]
Something got left behind. [Kramer slaps the robot's head again] What does Brenda have that I don't?
Brenda, Sanford Scolex. We were at Harvard together.
We were?
Oh, you don't recognize me; that's because I've changed. I was obese. Maybe you remember me like this.
(Dr. Claw fills his mouth with air to make Brenda remember)
Darn! That fellow will not give us a break!
For the third time, Sanford Scolex, you are under arrest!
Dump this idiot in the junkyard. (Sykes grabs Dr. Kramer) Not that idiot, this one.
I wish you'd be specific, we got an awful lotta idiots 'round here.
Attention, RoboGadget, destroy the city completely and have some fun.
Sure thing, boss.
Greetings, Inspector. Glad you could drop in.
I owe you one, Scolex.
Oh?
You blew up me and my Chevette. And I really liked that car.
Well, you crushed my hand, and I really liked that hand. So Go, Go, get over it.
I don't know what you're up to, Scolex, but you'll never get away with it!
[chortles]
Oh, how cliché, Inspector. I think somebody's been watching too many Saturday morning cartoons. [Claw, Kramer, and Inspector Gadget look at the viewer. Sykes looks puzzled.]. Unfortunately, Gadget, in the real world, evil often quite prevails. Tsk. Afraid so. [to Sykes] Pull him up. [Sykes pushes button to turn Gadget upwards.] Now, look how your current replacement is helping people... [chortles] ...to cross the street.
Hey, he looks just like me. I don't get it. Why would you do this?
To make teachers!
Oh! [whimpers]
I'll tell you why. To make techno-warriors that never get tired, never get hungry, and never say "no". Every army in the world would be made up of my creations. Imagine the confusion, Gadget, huh? Imagine the perks. COMPRENDÉ?!
Yeah, I comprendé.
[annoyed chuckle]
No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no. I comprendo, yo comprendo. Conjugate the word, for pity's sake.
Pull his N.S.A. chip before he butchers another language.
You're kidding, right? Okay, you see, he's always kidding! I never know.
This time, no. I wanna make sure nobody else can develop their own android. Do it! or you'll be building yourself a new head.
Ohh.
[closes eyes]
Okay, I am not here right now. I am on a beach, with dolphins. And, oh, hi, look, it's a Starfish. [opens eyes] I don't feel so good. Ohh. [faints]
I'm sorry, Gadget. Good help is so hard to find these days. Would you mind if I do the honors, hmm? [Gadget shakes his head.] Well, here goes. Arrivèderci, ciao, ciao. [removes chip from Gadget and shuts him down.] Good-bye, Mr. Chip. [destroys N.S.A. chip, and the camera cuts to Gadget, with a shocked expression] Dump this idiot in the junkyard.
Yes, boss. [grabs Kramer]
Okay, boss! You with the beard, come here!
Greetings, inspector. Glad you could drop in.
I owe you one, Scolex. You blew me up and my chevette. And I really liked that car.
Well, you crushed my hand and I really liked that hand. So Go Go get over it.
I know what you're up to, Scolex, but you'll never get away with this.
How cliche, inspector. I think somebody's been watching too many Satuday morning cartoons.
(Dr. Claw and Dr. Kramer look at Sykes)
Unfortunately, Gadget, in the real world, evil often quite prevails. 'Fraid so. (to Sykes) Pull him up.
Imagine my relief to have her support.
Anyway, sir. Like I said, without the chip, you... (Dr. Claw shows his chip) So you made the chip.
Hey, that's just looks like the guy we almost killed.
I didn't hear that!
(Dr. Claw inserts the chip to activate RoboGadget)
Chips ahoy! Good morning, RoboGadget. You are the most advanced piece of computer technology in the world. What are you going to do now?
I'm going to kick some butt.
Oh, salty!
He looks so real.
(RoboGadget pokes Sykes' eyes)
Let me give you a lift. Where could I drop you off?
I could answer but I don't really care.
John, help up here! Take my hand!
Hi, John, how you're doing down there?
John!
JOHN!!
Move! Darn you, move!
It's the lever.
Thank you for that, Sykes. We'll put it on you. Come on.
Why can't he do it?
He's capable of intelligent thoughts. That's useful to me.
Not bad, Kramer. Not bad at all. This is sort of post-modern Captain Hook kind of field and I'm diabolical. I deserve a dashing appelatian.
A dashing appelatian? What is that, a hillbilly with a tuxedo?
No, you idiot! It's a nickname, one that send my enemies cowering in fear. Too bad Hook is taken, eh?
How about Captain Claw?
No, no, no, no.
Or Santa Claw.
Just Claw. One word like Madonna.