Gomez, take those out of his mouth.
Gomez
Raúl Juliá · 35 quotes
Morticia
Anjelica Huston · 35 quotes
Debbie Jellinsky
Joan Cusack · 30 quotes
Wednesday
Christina Ricci · 30 quotes
Uncle Fester
Christopher Lloyd · 19 quotes
Pugsley
Jimmy Workman · 11 quotes
Grandmama
10 quotes
Joel
David Krumholtz · 10 quotes
Gary
Peter MacNicol · 9 quotes
Amanda
Mercedes McNab · 6 quotes
Becky
Christine Baranski · 6 quotes
Camp Children
3 quotes
Lurch
Carel Struycken · 2 quotes
Most scenes together: Gomez & Morticia (16), Morticia & Debbie Jellinsky (9), Gomez & Uncle Fester (9)
Addams Family Values quotes
Page 3 of 7
Desk sergeant
[sarcastically]
No!
She took him to Hawaii!
Desk sergeant
[cynically]
Get outta here!
They have moved into a large, expensive home, where they make love constantly!
Desk sergeant
I hate when that happens.
Arrest her at once, without delay!
Desk sergeant
Who?
Debbie. My brother's wife, the temptress of Waikiki!
Desk sergeant
Who are you? What are you? Who moved the rock?
Officer, you must issue a subpoena. I believe they own...
Gomez, NO!
Desk sergeant
Just leave, leave quietly, leave now. Don't make me call Ringling Brothers.
[shouting]
Has the planet gone mad? My brother, passion's hostage. I seek justice - denied! I shall not submit! I shall conquer! I shall rise! My name is Gomez Addams, and I have seen evil! [as Grandmama waves Pubert in the air] I have seen horror! [as Lurch waves] I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul!
They're at camp.
I have seen all this, officer. But until today, I had never seen... you!
Desk sergeant
Hook him, book him, cook him. Now!
[to Fester]
You'll meet someone. Someone very special. Someone who won't press charges. I hope that someday you'll know the indescribable joy of having children, and of paying someone else to raise them.
...There's Thing!
[Thing shudders] [referring to Thing relieving Fester's "desires"]
It's not the same thing, I want legs, a body... a head.
TWO legs?
Gomez.
Cara mia?
Marvelous news. I'm going to have a baby. Right now.
Wednesday, look at all of the other children, their freckles, their bright little eyes, their eager, friendly smiles. Help them.
At his request, I would rip out my eyes. At his command, I would crawl on my belly through hot coals and broken glass.
Why wait?
Children, why do you hate the baby?
We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.
Especially his head.
Children, do you think we love the baby more than we love you?
Do you think that when a new baby arrives, one of the other children has to die?
Well, that's just not true. [She sighs wistfully] Not anymore.
Oh, just sibling rivalry! Gomez, do you remember what we were like? I hated you!
I despised you!
I choked him until he lost consciousness and had to be put on a respirator!
I tied him to a tree and pulled out four of his permanent teeth!
When he was asleep, I opened his skull, and removed his brains!
You did?
Brother! [He flings Uncle Fester into the opposite wall, then grabs up about twenty knives conveniently lying on the table, flinging them all around Fester, with several right next to his head. Fester laughs hysterically through it all, although the last four are done with Gomez's back to him]
Children, you see?
Perfection achieved. We are the luckiest brothers on Earth. We are unworthy of such splendor, undeserving of such radiance.
Uh... that's right! We should have... ugly girls!
[Morticia and Gomez look over into his cradle to see a blond, rosy-cheeked, smiling baby]
My baby!
[Gomez faints]
What is she doing?
Just a curse. Have a nice day. [She air kisses]
Bingo! This kid knows somethings up, and unless Fester comes back, we're talking dimples.
Not in this house!
He could stay this way for years! Forever! He could become... a lawyer.
I won't listen!
An orthodontist!
Mama! Stop!
President!
Heather
Children, as your new nanny, I know we're all concerned about the environment. So, this morning, let's discuss how to prevent forest fires.
Prevent them? [She lights a match]
Mrs. Montgomery
All right, children, I've had it up to here. Now you just answer one simple question: Where is that baby?
Which part?
Nanny
[holding up Polly the Puppet]
Hello, kiddies, I'm Polly the Puppet. What shall we do today? I know! Let's all clean our rooms!
[holding up devil puppet]
Hello, Polly, I'll clean my room. In exchange for your immortal soul.
Disturbing.
[to Wednesday and Pugsley]
Look at this. I got 'em. "Schizos and Serial Killers". I have almost the whole series. I'm only missing Jack the Ripper and that Zodiac Guy.