Come, sorrow; we welcome thee. Let us join in grief, rejoice in despair, and honor the fortunate dead.
Dearly beloved...
Shh! Quiet!
[Grandmama starts piling dirt on the box]
It's a boy.
It's a girl.
Gomez!
What news?
Father, what is it?
Children, why do you hate the baby?
We don't hate him. We just wanna play with him.
Especially his head.
Children, do you think we love the baby more than we love you?
Do you think that when a new baby arrives, one of the other children has to die?
Well, that's just not true. [She sighs wistfully] Not anymore.
Oh, just sibling rivalry! Gomez, do you remember what we were like? I hated you!
I despised you!
I choked him until he lost consciousness and had to be put on a respirator!
I tied him to a tree and pulled out four of his permanent teeth!
When he was asleep, I opened his skull, and removed his brains!
You did?
Brother! [He flings Uncle Fester into the opposite wall, then grabs up about twenty knives conveniently lying on the table, flinging them all around Fester, with several right next to his head. Fester laughs hysterically through it all, although the last four are done with Gomez's back to him]
Children, you see?
It looks familiar... Of course! The gates of hell.
Luxor, nexor, burst, and BURN!
What is she doing?
Just a curse. Have a nice day. [She air kisses]
Stay back! He's very sick!
My baby!
[Gomez faints]
Bingo! This kid knows somethings up, and unless Fester comes back, we're talking dimples.
Not in this house!
He could stay this way for years! Forever! He could become... a lawyer.
I won't listen!
An orthodontist!
Mama! Stop!
President!
My baby is ill, and my husband is dying. Oh, Mama, what shall I do?
Well, you have a black dress.
My first husband, the heart surgeon. All day long, coronaries, transplants.
What about your needs?
"Sorry about dinner, Deb. The Pope has a cold."
An axe! That takes me back.
Husband number two. The senator. He loved his state, he loved his country!
What about Debbie?
"Sorry, Debbie, no Mercedes this year. We have to set an example." Oh yeah? Set this!
[The next slide shows the Senator, panicking as car headlights approach him]
