Samuel L. Jackson movie quotes

View Quote [last words] He has control of the senate and the courts! He's too dangerous to be left alive!

View Quote I sense a great deal of confusion in you, young Skywalker. There is much fear that clouds your judgment.

View Quote In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, you are under arrest, Chancellor.

View Quote Well, yeah. I was just sitting here, eating my muffin, drinking my coffee, when I had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity.

View Quote Oh, oh – you ready to blow?! Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-laying mother****er, mother****er! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly TNT! I'm the Guns of the Navarone! In fact, what the **** am I doing in the back?! You're the mother****er who should be on brain detail! We're **** switching, I'm washing the windows and you're picking up this ****'s skull.

View Quote Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now, when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when mother****ers get scared, that's when mother****ers accidentally get shot. But I don't want that. And you don't want that. And Ringo here definitely doesn't want that.

View Quote [to McClane] You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I hate ****" has either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking.

View Quote [while tied to a large bomb]
John McClane: Hey ****head. Yeah you; ****head. There's just one thing I gotta know. You got any aspirins? 'Cause I've had a bad ****in' headache all day long.
Simon Gruber: [laughs and throws him a bottle of aspirin] Must be your lucky day. Keep the bottle!

View Quote McClane: There's gold in the Federal Reserve, and they took a shitload of it! They're heading north in dump trucks!
Cobb: Have you been drinking, McClane?
McClane: No, not since this morning.

View Quote What I'm saying is, back when we first met, you were all like "Oh phooey, I burned the darn' muffins." Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin' out. What up with that?

View Quote I ain't handsome, I ain't rich, and the last time I got blown, candy bars cost a nickel.

View Quote Naw, I sock 'em in the mouth and yell, "Pop goes the weasel." Who the **** are you?

View Quote Now that we know who you are... I know who I am. I'm not a mistake! It all makes sense, in the comic you know how you can tell who the arch villain is going to be? He's the exact opposite of the hero! And most times they're friends, like you and me. I should've known way back when. You know why David? Because of the kids! They called me Mr. Glass.

View Quote Do you know what the scariest thing is? To not know your place in this world, to not know why you're here.

View Quote It's hard for many people to believe that there are extraordinary things inside themselves, as well as others. I hope you can keep an open mind.

View Quote [Last lines; cut to Garfield preparing food.]
Garfield: [voiceover] My medium is cuisine. My colors are flavors. My palette is my palette, if you will. [Soon, he's done making food. Though it doesn’t look appetizing.] Dinner is served.
[Odie uses a fire extinguisher to put out the flames in the oven.]
Vic: Wow, son! I didn’t know you could cook.
Garfield: Ah, yes. [as he tries to pull out a piece] Pasta is my paint and the dinner plate is my [grunts] canvas. [puts out a piece with a saltshaker in it] Oh, so that’s where that went. [He gives a piece to Vic, who tries it.]
Vic: I had worse. [laughs]
[Garfield serves Odie and Jon a few more pieces.]
Jon: Thank you, Garfield. [notices Vic eating up] Uh, is he gonna be coming around for dinner often?
Garfield: Yeah. He's family.
[Odie barks, Jon and Garfield laughing. But suddenly, Jon receives a notification on his phone.]
Jon: What? Why do I have a take-out bill for 6,000 drone deliveries?!
[Garfield shushes the audience. We cut to a montage of Vic and Garfield living together. Vic uses a Walmart app to purchase a big chair on wheels to join his son. Then, they eat out food from the fridge. Next, they eat their pizza the same way Garfield did in the opening before picking their teeth clean. At the restaurant, they, along with Odie, disguise themselves to order food. On the bed, Garfield lies on Jon’s face and Vic lies on top of him, breaking the bed down from his weight. Cut to them riding in Jon’s car while sticking their heads out the windows. Jinx is seen doing community service by cleaning up trash. She throws her grabber and helmet down in anger. At Garfield’s birthday party, everyone is invited. Otto, Ethel, Liz, Marla, Vito, Vic’s old cat gang, the token animals, and Roland and Nolan...Even Nermal appears, asking for a slice of cake. Garfield glares at him. Finally, Jon puts up a new, big picture of him and his pets, including Vic.]

View Quote [The scene starts off on a phone screen, showing an image of Garfield, a grumpy, frowning, orange tabby cat, and his owner, Jon Arbuckle, wearing sweaters with their faces on them.]
Garfield: [first lines; offscreen] OK, it's time to eat. [types in the password 061978 on the phone, unlocking it] Let's see, open the app. [opens the Mamma Leoni’s app to make his order] I’m gonna get a double pepperoni pizza, uh, an order of breadsticks, and...Well, lasagna. Yeah. Ooh! A new item alert? Jalapeño breadstick quick bites. Huh. It might be nice to add something in the salad family. And do I want dessert? Oooh! [chuckles] I’m gonna be naughty! Butterscotch budino. OK, I’m gonna have five. [The app screen slides to the side to show the orange tabby cat himself.] Delivery? Goes without saying...[hits NOW] now, please.
Mamma Leoni's App: Mama mia!
Garfield: Alright. That oughta hold me 'til breakfast. [notices the audience] Oh, hey! Are you guys early or am I late? No matter. I have got a real treat for you today. [Odie, a yellow dog with brown ears and Garfield's friend, jumps and barks excitedly.] No, not a treat for you. [Odie whines sadly; sighs] OK. [He gives Odie a biscuit and he eats it before licking him happily, much to his disgust.] Anyway, about that treat...[pushes Odie down] Can I just say, you will not be disappointed. [laughs] It’s a story about me...[the doorbell rings.]...that no one’s ever heard before featuring someone in my life you’ve never met. I don’t know about you, but color me intrigued. [A drone enters the house, delivering Garfield’s order.] Oh ho yeah! Drone delivery. Welcome to the future. [opens the box for his double pepperoni pizza] You know, to really understand everything, I’m gonna have to take you back to where it all began. [notices a small basil on his pizza] Don’t want anything to take away from the flavour of cheese. [flicks it off, stretches his mouth open, places the pizza in, and munches down] And like every great story, it all started... [He moves his mouth in a sucking position near his drink. Odie tips the cup to Garfield’s mouth and Garfield sips his drink.] ...on a dark and stormy night.
[Odie holds up a cardboard thunderstorm cloud and mimics thunder and lightning. Cut to black. In a flashback, a silhouetted cat looks over at something.]
Vic: Wait here, Junior. I'll be right back.
[Garfield, as a kitten, looks up at the silhouetted cat, who walks away, then hides. Garfield, sitting in a crate, reaches out with his little paws as if motioning for the cat to not leave him. Moments later, rain pours. Garfield looks over the side, seeing that the cat isn't coming back. He jumps back in fear as he hears various noises, then covers his face protectively. Suddenly, he sniffs the air, then spots an Italian restaurant called Mamma Leoni’s across the street. Garfield watches as Vito, through the window, holding two steaming pizzas on trays. Jon sits alone on a table. Garfield glances over the path where the cat went, then runs out of the crate. He crosses the street towards the restaurant as three cars pass by, narrowly missing him. Reaching the window, Garfield sniffs the air again. Inside, Jon sits at his table as Vito serves him pepperoni pizza. Grabbing a slice, he sees one family playing Heads Up on their phone.]
Girl: Open wide, Jake.
[A girl feeds her brother, Jake, a meatball. Jon smiles, then frowns and sighs sadly. He sets his head on his hand. He opens his mouth to take a bite of the slice, then gets startled when a thud is heard. Garfield, with his face pressed against the window, stares at the pizza, then pulls it back as Jon stares at him.]
Jon: Aww! [leans in, then holds out a finger] Hi there, little buddy! Hi! [Garfield paws at his finger, then looks over at the pizza and licks the glass. Jon glances over to see no one coming, then secretly opens the window to let Garfield in. Garfield, despite his small size, hops into his hand. As the duo stare at each other, Garfield licks his cheek as Jon chuckles, then rubs his back on his chin while purring. Jon sets his little friend on the table beside the pizza.] Are you hungry, little guy? [As Garfield nods in agreement, Jon feeds him a pepperoni, then chuckles and offers another.] Do you want a little more? [Suddenly, Garfield quickly eats the entire pizza, then the slice that Jon was about to eat, then finally eats the pepperoni.] Whoa! You are a hungry little guy. [sees Vito coming, then grabs a menu, hiding Garfield behind it]
Vito: That was a quick dinner, Signore Jon. You must’ve been very hungry. [chuckles as Garfield peeks out from under Jon's wrist, but Jon himself pushes him back behind the menu] Can I bring you anything else?
Jon: Uh, yes. [looks at the menu as Garfield rubs his paw on a picture of a single piece of lasagna]
Musician: [offscreen] Grazie! Grazie! Thank you very much!
Jon: Some...lasagna?
Vito: Si. Lasagna for one.
Jon: Uh, yeah. [looks at the menu again as Garfield points to a picture of a 6-piece family-styled lasagna] You know what? No. Uh, make it family-style.
Vito: Very good.
Jon: [as Vito walks away] To go, please, Vito.
Musician: [offscreen] Okay! Everybody! You all know this one!
Jon: [lifts the menu to find Garfield gone] Huh? What? Where'd he go? [he spots Garfield slurping spaghetti and meatballs as a birthday party commences.]
Patrons: [offscreen] Hey!
Musician: [offscreen] Stand up and sing. Join us.
Jon: Oh, no! ["Tarantella Napoletana" plays as he moves through the crowd.] Oh, no. Excuse me. Pardon me. [He moves under another table, and tries to grab Garfield, but finds marinara sauce on his fingers. He notices Garfield eating cookies. As he goes to eat a slice of pizza, Jon grabs him, still on the plate, and hides him behind his back as Vito walks by with a big birthday cake. Once Vito is gone, Jon pulls out the plate from behind his back, but once again, Garfield has disappeared. He spots him walking through the birthday cake with a big bite on it. Jon scrambles on all fours to search for him.]
Maria: [offscreen] Jon! Take-out for Jon! [As Jon looks around, Maria comes in with a to-go box for Jon.] Your take-out is ready, Signore Jon.
Jon: Yes.
Maria: One familia-style lasagna to go! [opens the box, revealing Garfield eating on the top middle of the family-style lasagna] You eat alone too much, Jon.
Jon: Yeah.
Maria: You should get on the dating apps.
Jon: No, I'm good, thanks.
Maria: There's Bumble, Tinder, Gluten-Free Singles...
Jon: Oh, really?
Maria: Hot Sauce Passions.
Jon: No, I could never.
Maria: And you should spend serious money on premium memberships.
Jon: Bye! [quickly leaves the restaurant, and the lid pops open, with Garfield still in the box] Huh? Oh, hey. [chuckles as he sets the box down on the ground, and puts Garfield on the lid] Well, that was an interesting dinner… that you had. Well, I guess, um...this is where we say goodbye. [Garfield **** his head.] Oh, you’re really cute, but I can’t have pets in my apartment. So...I’ll see you around, OK? Go on. [As Garfield sniffles sadly, he cries, shedding a lot of tears.] Oh, no. No, no, no, don’t cry. Don’t cry. [The tears make a river that leads to a storm drain. Garfield waves goodbye to him.] Oh. Oh! No, no, no, no, no! No! Oh, no! Oh, no! [scrambles toward Garfield, and grabs him, just as the box enters the storm drain. He then stands up while holding the tiny pint-sized kitten in both hands] You don’t have a home, do you?
[Garfield looks away sadly as if to say, "No.", then he stares at Jon, blinking his big green eyes. Jon smiles, and so does Garfield, who kisses him on the nose. Jon smiles as he nuzzles his little friend. Garfield pulls the screen up, bringing us back to the present while eating some breadsticks.]
Garfield: And that's how I adopted Jon.
[Odie facepalms and brings down the screen to show the title card of the film.]

View Quote [While the dogs, along with the spy bird, head to an abandoned mall…]
Garfield: [in the bag] What do you guys...What do you want? Money? I don't have any money, okay? Who-who carries cash anymore? I've-- I-I've got Jon's credit card number memorized. 5552-3857-5521. Did you write that down? Expiration code is 555.
[Inside the mall, they release the two from the bags.]
Nolan: The cat is out of the bag! [Cackles; throws the rope up]
Roland: We hope this kidnapping plan works or she’ll put us down....with her insults and cutting observations.
[They tie the two by their ankles and pull up the ropes.]
Garfield: I think this is a case of mistaken identity! You must be looking for another gorgeous, lovable kitty cat! Right?! [Once they’re high above, the two dogs leave.] Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey, where you going?! No, no, come back, come back! [Odie barking] No, no. Odie?
Odie: Hmm?
Garfield: I'll handle this. [angrily] Alright, you guys, I'm giving you the count of 3 to get back here, and let us down! 1, 2, 3! Four, five… I am not kidding here! [Later, Garfield is exhausted while Odie plays the harmonica.] 308, 309...I can't... yeah, they’re not coming. [groans] It’s over.
Voice: [offscreen] Psst!
Garfield: [He and Odie turn around to see a shrouded figure standing in the mall.] Huh? [Odie drops his harmonica in awe.] Am I dead? [The shrouded figure moves around.] Are you an angel? [The figure comes to the mall ceiling by the ropes.] Please take me. I am ready to go to the...[sobs] to the all-you-can-eat buffet in the sky.
Shrouded figure: What? Listen, I’m going to swing you out, cut your ropes, and drop you safely to that landing below.
Garfield: Wait, what? That seems a tad risky. Is there another plan that doesn’t involve cutting the rope from a 40-foot drop?
Shrouded figure: No time. We gotta get outta here before they come back. [He swings Odie first, then cuts his rope. The dog lands perfectly on the landing. Then, the shrouded figure swings Garfield and cuts his rope. The cat falls and lands next to Odie, though not so gracefully.] We need to go! Come on, Junior!
[Garfield gasps in shock as he remembers being left in the alley.]
Vic: [flashback] Wait here, Junior. I’ll be right back. [echoes]
[Garfield narrows his eyes as he pulls the shroud off the figure, revealing his long-lost father, Vic, a burly orange tabby cat.]
Garfield: [gasps and points angrily at Vic] You…?!
Vic: Uh… Hey, Junior.
Odie: Huh?
Garfield: Who is he? This is Vic, my "father".
Vic: Look, Junior, I know how you might be upset...
Garfield: [ticked off] Upset?! Why would I be upset?! You only abandoned me in an alley as a kitten! I’m probably just overreacting!
[Suddenly, they hear a claw scratching against metal.]
Vic: Oh, no. Not her. Quick, follow me, Junior!
[However, Garfield refuses to follow Vic.]
Garfield: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You lost the privilege of telling me what to do a long time ago.
[Red light glows behind them, revealing a maniacal cat, Jinx, with a glowing mood necklace.]
Jinx: Hello, Vic!
[The three jump back and scream, startled.]
Vic: [scared] Dang!
Jinx: Scare-cam! [laughs] Oh, you should’ve seen your faces! [makes spooky noises then laughs as she runs over to Nolan and Roland holding a phone] OK, boys, show me! [The phone shows a video of the trio being scared by her sudden appearance; laughs] Post that ASAP! [laughs]
Vic: Hey, Jinx. I haven’t seen you since… Oh, well, no hard feelings though, right? [holds his hand out for a handshake]
Jinx: [pushes Vic's hand away] Oh, I don’t think so. [glares for a moment, then smiles] I’m a hugger! [hugs Vic]
Garfield: A part of me wants to be mad at her for kidnapping us, but you gotta love her energy.
Jinx: [gasps] Where are my manners? [claps her paws to summon Barry]
Barry: Chop, chop, gentlemen. Look alive.
[Nolan sets up the table and Roland pours them glasses of milk.]
Jinx: [drinks hers] Perfection. You know, I was so delighted to think you accepted my invitation here tonight.
Garfield: Well, throwing us in a burlap sack wasn’t exactly an Evite.
Jinx: Vic, you’re so quiet. Are you feline sad? Cat got your tongue? Would you prefer a mew-mosa?
Garfield: Excuse me, how do you two know each other?
Vic: Let me handle this, Junior.
Garfield: Oh, don’t "Junior" me. You may call me "Garfield", "Mr. Garfield", or "G-Money". [Odie scoffs] Okay, whatever, no "G-Money". Anyway, can somebody please tell me what is going on??
Vic: Uh, we really...
Jinx: [interrupts Vic] I’ll take this one.
[Roland is nearby, playing the piano.]
Garfield: What?
[Odie shrugs "I don’t know".]
Jinx: I’m from a small town outside London that you’ve probably never heard of. Oh, I scratched and clawed my way through hard times to come here with one dream. [We fade to a flashback of her entering America’s Next Top Feline, walking down the red carpet as people take pictures of her; voiceover] I wanted to be seen. I wanted to matter. [Cut to her holding a tuba. She stands still in stage fright. Crickets chirp. Voiceover] But... [wah-wah sound is heard.] I was a failure.
Announcer: [offscreen; spotlight shines elsewhere] The winner!
[Fade to her sitting on a bench. A hand holds out to her, and she sees Vic and his cat crew.]
Jinx: [voiceover] And then, I met Vic and his crew. They were outcasts. Losers. Thugs. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. We became a real family.
[Cut back to present day.]
Garfield: [scoffs] Vic and family. I know where this is going. [to Roland] Excuse me, garcon? Uh, when might we expect appetizers? Perhaps some amuse-bouche?
Jinx: Then, one night...[Cut to a flashback of the crew stealing quarts of milk from Lactose Farms. Voiceover] We were about to make our biggest score. Enough milk to last us for weeks! [She drops one bottle and tries to get it, only to be captured and thrown in a pound truck; flashback] Vic! VIC!!!! [Vic tries to go after the truck, but it drives off with her. Cut back to present day.]
Vic: Jinx, I tried to come back for you. You have to know that.
Jinx: Oh, yes. You get an A for effort.
Garfield: So, what happened next?
Jinx: Imagine Alcatraz...[Cut to her being served slop in the pound. Voiceover] But smellier. It was cold and lonely...[One cat knocks her lunch away, making Jinx growl in anger. Cut to Jinx sleeping under a smelly cat; voiceover] And stinky. So very stinky. I can’t ever state that enough. [Cut to her sulking at the fence. Voiceover] But it gave me purpose. I needed to get out. I just needed help.
[A ball rolls over to her. She turns to see Roland and Nolan. Jinx throws the ball to Roland, who grabs it with his mouth. Smiling, she gets an idea. Later, the three of them break out of the pound. Cut back to present day.]
Garfield: So, your purpose was to escape jail and get involved with charities?
Jinx: Nope. My purpose was...revenge. [Vic gulps in fear]
Garfield: Oh, I see. I went the other way with it.
Jinx: I’m kidding! Another cat would be bent on revenge, but I’m a...ooh, how do you put it?
Barry: Evolved, compassionate, and incredibly self-actualized.
Jinx: Bingo! [giggles] I had such trouble finding him and when I discovered you were his son, I had no choice but to kidnap you to lure him here.
Garfield: Listen, I totally get it. It’s all a part of being associated with Vic. So, what do you need from him to make this right?
Jinx: I simply want him to pay back the quart of milk I lost that night, and we’ll call it even.
Vic: I can do that.
Garfield: What he can’t do is raise a child.
Jinx: Just one quart.
Garfield: Just one quart.
Vic: Done!
Garfield: Done!
Jinx: For every day I was in the pound.
Vic: What now?
Garfield: Nice twist. Well played.
Vic: Uh, how long were you in the pound again??
Jinx: 4 years, 7 months, and 2 days.
Vic: Whoa! That long?!?
Garfield: Alright, I’m gonna do the math here in my brain and, uh...the way you do that is...[clears his throat] Odie?
[Odie barks to Garfield the grand total]
Garfield: 1,675 quarts of milk. Exactly right, Odie. We both came up with it at the exact same time.
Vic: Where am I gonna find that much milk?
Jinx: Well, I suggest you go back to the place you double-crossed me. Lactose Farms.
Garfield: Wow. Well, good luck, Vic. [laughs] I’ll leave you two to work on the fine print. We’ll just see ourselves out. Odie...[He tries to leave but is stopped by Roland and Nolan.]
Jinx: Uh, no, you’re all going to do this.
Garfield: What? Why me? He’s the one who abandoned you!
Jinx: Yes, but this is more than a one-cat job.
Garfield: If I’m sure Vic has a whole crew of lowlife cat burglars, he could ask.
Jinx: Oh, I’m sure he does, but if I’m being completely honest, seeing how miserable you make one another brings me endless satisfaction.
Garfield: Oh, well, thank you for your honesty. And if I don’t go?
Jinx: You can stay and have a playdate with Roland and Nolan. [to the hench-dogs] Okay, boys, go play!
[The two dogs proceed to maul two nearby mannequins.]
Barry: [clears his throat; last words] Ma’am. I think this is an opportunity to take a deep, cleansing breath and repeat your anger management mantra.
[Suddenly, Jinx eats Barry and spits out a feather. The three are terrified by this.]
Jinx: [clears her throat] Anyone else have any objections?
Garfield: [gulps nervously] Nope, I’m good. [gives two thumbs-up] Thanks for the opportunity.
Jinx: Excellent! Now you boys have 72 hours...[drinks her milk and throws her glass away] or else!

View Quote Now that there is the Tec-9, cheap-ass little spray gun made outta South Miami. It retails for $380. I get 'em for 2, sell 'em for 8. They advertise this Tec-9 as the most popular gun in American crime. Do you believe that shit? It actually says that in the little booklet that comes with it: "the most popular gun in American crime". Like they're actually proud of that shit.

View Quote [to Beaumont] You know man, I hate be the kind of **** that do a **** a favor and then Bam! hit the **** up for a favor in return, but I gots to be that kinda ****.

View Quote You know your bail bondsmen, don'tcha? You know all them mother****ers as crooked as a barrel of snakes, don'tcha?!

View Quote My theory is you're working with the man who poisoned the coffee. And both of you murdered Minnie and Sweet Dave, and anybody else might'a picked this bad-luck day to visit Minnie's Haberdashery this morning. And your intention was, at some point, to bushwhack John Ruth and free Daisy. But you didn't count the blizzard, and you didn't count the two of us. That's as far as I got. How am I doin'?

View Quote [slow motion] You gon' make a deal with this diabolical bitch?

View Quote When the handbill says "dead or alive", the rest of us just shoot you in the back from up on top a perch somewhere and bring you in dead over a saddle. But when John Ruth the Hangman catches you, you don't die from no bullet in the back. When the Hangman catches you... [winks] You hang!

View Quote Enough Is ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHER****IN' SNAKES ON THIS MOTHER****IN' PLANE! EVERYBODY STRAP IN! [extracts his gun] We're about to open some ****in' windows.

View Quote Enough Is ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MONKEY-FIGHTING SNAKES ON THIS MONDAY T'FRIDAY PLANE! EVERYBODY STRAP IN! [extracts his gun] We're about to open some freakin' windows.

View Quote Neville: Well, that's good news: snakes on crack.

View Quote If they do, you must realize there aren't enough Jedi to protect the Republic. We're keepers of the peace, not soldiers.

View Quote We will not be hostages to be bartered, Dooku!

View Quote Nevertheless, I think we should keep a closer eye on the Senate.

View Quote Super-ladies, they're always trying to tell you their secret identity. Think it'll strengthen the relationship or something like that. I say, "Girl, I don't wanna know about your mild-mannered alter ego or anything like that." I mean, you tell me you're, uh, super-mega-ultra-lightning babe? That's all right with me. I'm good. I'm good.

View Quote I don't see anyone from the old days, Bob. Just you. And we're pushing our luck as it is.

View Quote It means it's hot! And I'm dehydrated, Bob!

View Quote George Washington Williams: I'm still coming with you.
John Clayton: You can't keep up.
George Washington Williams: I might not be able to keep up with Tarzan, but I sure as hell can keep up with *you*.

View Quote John Clayton: Beyond that is all Mangani land.
George Washington Williams: "Mangani"? Those gorillas you lived with?
John Clayton: They're not gorillas.
Porter: Gorillas are gentle. Mangani are not.

View Quote John Clayton: I'll have to fight Akut.
George Washington Williams: That's Akut?!
John Clayton: He was my brother once. Now he'd only see me as a deserter.

View Quote I warned you about 1408.

View Quote Look, I'm not telling you not to stay in that room for your own good or for the profit of the hotel. Frankly, selfishly, I just don't want to clean up the mess.

View Quote It's an evil **** room.

View Quote I'm cookin' steaks fah dinnah. I expect you to stay.

View Quote God put you in my path and I aim to cure you of your wicked ways.

View Quote I remember my first time, it was out behind my uncle's barn with my second cousin. She was two tons if she weighed a pound, I could have done better for myself.

View Quote Doctor, the 200 million I've sunk into this company is due in great part of your research. But when the market opens Monday, despite my reputation, I don't like heights. Especially falling from them. I'm sorry, honestly.

View Quote So here's the riddle. What does an eight thousand pound mako shark with a brain the size of a flat head V8 engine and no natural predators think about?

View Quote Janice Higgins: Welcome to our island paradise.
Russell Franklin: Where's Tattoo? [Janice looks at him blankly] You know, short guy? The plane, boss! The plane!
Janice Higgins: [confused] Right.
Russell Franklin: [sighing, to himself] I am getting old.

View Quote [Repeated line] Hold on to your butts.

View Quote PLEASE! GODDAMMIT! I HATE THIS HACKER CRAP!

View Quote John. John. I can't get Jurassic Park back online without Dennis Nedry.

View Quote You refer to the prophecy of the one who will bring balance to the Force. You believe it's this boy?

View Quote I do not believe the Sith could've returned without us knowing.

View Quote We will use all our resources to unravel this mystery. We will discover the identity of your attacker. May the Force be with you.

View Quote Maria Hill: Sir... those cards-- They were in Coulson's locker. Not in his jacket.
Fury: They needed the push.

View Quote Thor: You speak of control, yet you court chaos.
Banner: That's his MO, isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're– we're a time-bomb.
Fury: You need to step away.
Tony: Why shouldn't the man let off a little steam?
Rogers: You know damn well why! Back off!
Tony: I'm startin' to want you to make me.
Rogers: Yeah. Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away, what are you?
Tony: Uhh, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. [Natasha shrugs condescendingly, but concedes Stark's point]
Rogers: I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.
Tony: I think I'd just cut the wire.
Rogers: Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you'd better stop pretending to be a hero.
Tony: A hero? Like you? You're a lab experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.
Rogers: [Enraged] Put on the suit. Let's go a few rounds.

View Quote [Last lines; the Avengers have parted ways…for now]
Hill: Sir, how does it work now? They've gone their separate ways, some– pretty extremely far. We get into a situation like this again, what happens then?
Fury: They'll come back.
Hill: You really sure about that?
Fury: I am.
Hill: Why?
Fury: Because we'll need them to.

View Quote Carol Danvers: [Referring to the front of the baseball cap that Fury has given her] What is this?
Nick Fury: It's a S.H.I.E.L.D. logo.
Carol Danvers: Does announcing your identity with branded clothing, help with the covert part of the job?
Nick Fury: ...said the space soldier who's wearing a rubber suit. Lose the flannel.

View Quote [Fury is looking over the autopsy of a Skrull who'd been impersonating Coulson, accompanied by Talos, who is impersonating Fury's boss]
"Keller": You're saying this thing looked like Coulson?
Nick Fury: Mmm... Talked like him, too.
"Keller": And the woman said that there were...more?
Nick Fury: The word she used was "infiltration".
"Keller": Do you believe her?
Nick Fury: [Referring to the dead Skrull on the coroner's table] Not until I saw this.
"Keller": What's your plan?
Nick Fury: I'll find Blockbuster girl. I got word on a motorcycle thief that fits her description. If she can tell us why those lizards are here, maybe she can tell us how to kick 'em to the curb.
"Keller": Good. Do it alone, though. We can't trust anyone, not even our own men.
Nick Fury: Yes, sir. [Fury leaves]
"Keller": Wow. They are ugly bastards, aren't they?
Coroner: Yeah, well, he's no Brad Pitt, sir. ["Keller" leans down next to the Skrull's head]
Talos: [With his native accent] Safe journey to the beyond, my friend. I will finish what we started. [Talos caresses his colleague's head]
Coroner: I wouldn't get too close there, boss.
Talos: [Switches to his fake American accent] No one in or out.

View Quote [Carol is testing Fury to see if he's a Skrull]
Carol Danvers: This is gonna get a little awkward, but I gotta ask...
Nick Fury: You think I'm one of those green things.
Carol Danvers: Can't be too careful.
Nick Fury: You are looking at 100% red-blooded Earthman.
Carol Danvers: I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof.
Nick Fury: We talking cheek swab or urine sample?
Carol Danvers: No, the DNA would match.
Nick Fury: Want my AOL password?
Carol Danvers: Skrulls can only sim recent memories of their hosts' bodies.
Nick Fury: ...You wanna get personal.
Carol Danvers: Where were you born?
Nick Fury: Huntsville, Alabama. But technically, I don't remember that part.
Carol Danvers: Name of your first pet?
Nick Fury: Mr. Snoofers.
Carol Danvers: Mr. Snoofers?
Nick Fury: That's what I said. Do I pass?
Carol Danvers: Not yet. First job?
Nick Fury: Soldier. Straight outta high school. Left the ranks a full-bird colonel.
Carol Danvers: Then?
Nick Fury: Spy.
Carol Danvers: Where?
Nick Fury: It's the Cold War, we were everywhere. Belfast, Bucharest, Belgrade, Budapest... I like the B's. I can make 'em rhyme.
Carol Danvers: Now?
Nick Fury: Been riding a desk for the past six years trying to figure out where our future enemies are coming from. Never occurred to me they would be coming from above.
Carol Danvers: [Thinks for a moment] Name a detail so bizarre, a Skrull could never fabricate it.
Nick Fury: If toast is cut diagonally, I can't eat it. [Long pause; Carol smirks] ...You didn't need that, did you?
Carol Danvers: No. No, I didn't. But I enjoyed it.

View Quote No lifeguard on duty. Swim at your own risk.

View Quote OH, MY GOD!

View Quote [under Evelyn's control] We no longer serve you, we serve only us. May the fittest survive.

View Quote [Joe bursts into control room] Let's go mother****er, me and you, man to man come on. SHIT. You want some get back, let me off this table so you and me can go at it mother****er. What do you say how about it?

View Quote I swear, I don't know nothin'! I swear before God and eight mother****in' white people!

View Quote [Realizing inmates lacking their meal on monitors] Hello, time to feed the pets! [Realizes unresponsiveness of staff, jumps up from chair] God Damn these mother****ers don't do shit!

View Quote Let's take it to the next level.

View Quote So are you going to get on the plane or is 'Kiss my ass, Scarface?' your final answer?

View Quote [Xander has just foiled the supposed "robbery" inside the diner he woke up in. He turns to see Gibbons clapping]
Gibbons: Well done Mr. Cage.
Xander: Who the hell are you?
Gibbons: The name's Gibbons. Augustus Gibbons. You seem upset. Is there something wrong?
Xander: What is this place?
Gibbons: Looks like a diner.
Xander: That's clever. You know, you almost had me going for a second? I was a little groggy at first, but then I started noticing things. Like you got a stock broker over here reading the Financial Times on a Sunday morning when the market's closed. Unlikely, but alright, I can go with that. I can even go with the stick-up man packing a cop issue Beretta. But you want to know where you blew it? With her. [points to the waitress behind the counter] My aunt was in the restaurant business all her life. There's no way a career waitress comes to work in high heels. She'd have blisters the size of pancakes before lunch. And if she ain't real, then this whole thing ain't real. That's how I know that this bozo over here [points to the bleeding 'stock broker' on the floor] wouldn't get a shot off even if we waited until St. Patrick's Day. [fires a blank round from the stock broker's shotgun at a wall clock] Because there's nothing but blanks in these guns. Oh, and no offence, but their performances were terrible.
Gibbons: [Starts to laugh] That's good. That's very good.
Xander: Okay, you're turn, pretty boy. What the hell is all of this?
Gibbons: It was a test, Mr. Cage, that you aced.
Agent Polk: [Entering] He seems to have an attitude.
Xander: Excuse me?
Agent Polk: [To Gibbons] Should we throw him back?
Gibbons: Hell no, I love his attitude! Let's take this to the next level. [Starts speaking to the agents in the diner] Get on the sat-com!
Xander: What are you talking about, what next level?
Gibbons: I want everyone out in ten minutes!
Xander: [Starts walking towards the exit] I don't know who you think you're playing with, I don't play this game!
Gibbons: [looking at the trucker, who has burns from the coffee] Get Mike a doctor. We don't want him looking like me.
Xander: I got a party to go to!
Gibbons: [To the waitress, nodding towards Xander] Shut him up.
Xander: And don't to forget to pay for my windo- [The waitress shoots him with a tranq dart] AH! [He falls down and pulls the dart from his chest]
Gibbons: Why is it always the assholes that pass the test? [sees Xander pass out]

View Quote Jake Tyler Brigance: We're going to lose this case, Carl Lee. There are no more points of law to argue here. I want to cop a plea, maybe Buckley will cop us a second degree murder and we can get you just life in prison.
Carl Lee Hailey: Jake, I can't do no life in prison. You got to get me off. Now if it was you on trial...
Jake Tyler Brigance: It's not me; we're not the same, Carl Lee. The jury has to identify with the defendant. They see you, they see a yardworker; they see me, they see an attorney. I live in town, you live in the hill.
Carl Lee Hailey: Well, you are white and I'm black. See Jake, you think just like them. That's why I picked you; you are one of them , don't you see? Oh, you think you ain't because you eat in Claude's and you are out there trying to get me off on TV talking about black and white, but the fact is you are just like all the rest of them. When you look at me, you don't see a man, you see a black man.
Jake Tyler Brigance: Carl Lee, I'm your friend.
Carl Lee Hailey: We ain't no friends, Jake. We are on different sides of the line, I ain't never seen you in my part of town. I bet you don't even know where I live. Our daughters, Jake; they ain't never gonna play together.
Jake Tyler Brigance: What are you talking about?
Carl Lee Hailey: America is a wall and you are on the other side. How's a black man ever going to get a fair trial with the enemy on the bench and in the jury box?. My life in white hands? You Jake, that's how. You are my secret weapon because you are one of the bad guys. You don't mean to be but you are. It's how you was raised. ****, negro, black, African-American, no matter how you see me, you see me different, you see me like that jury sees me, you are them. Now throw out your points of law Jake. If you was on that jury, what would it take to convince you to set me free? That's how you save my ass. That's how you save us both.

View Quote D.A. Rufus Buckley: Mr. Haley, before you stepped outside of yourself and watched yourself shoot Mr. Willard and Mr. Cobb, were you aware that if convicted, they could be free in ten years?
Carl Lee Hailey: Yes sir. I've heard some people say that. Yes sir.
D.A. Rufus Buckley: Do you think men who kidnap a child should be free in 10 years?
Carl Lee Hailey: No, sir.
D.A. Rufus Buckley: Do you think two men who rape a child should be free in 10 years?
Carl Lee Hailey: No, sir.
D.A. Rufus Buckley: Do you think two men who hang a child should be free in 10 years?
Carl Lee Hailey: No.
D.A. Rufus Buckley: Well, what do you think should happen? What would be a fair sentence?
Jake Tyler Brigance: Objection!
D.A. Rufus Buckley: Do you think they should deserve to die?
Jake Tyler Brigance: Don't answer that, Carl Lee!
D.A. Rufus Buckley: Do you think they should deserve to die?
Carl Lee Hailey: Yes, they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell! [court audience is heavily agitated by the response]

View Quote Carl Lee Hailey: Ask if he thinks I should go to jail.
Jake Tyler Brigance: Carl Lee, they amputated his leg because you shot him. He's the prosecution's witness.
Carl Lee Hailey: You're my lawyer ain't ya? Ask him.
Jake Tyler Brigance: Your Honor, one question.
Judge Omar Noose: Make up your mind, Mr. Brigance.
Jake Tyler Brigance: Deputy Looney, do you think Carl Lee shooting you was intentional?
Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: No sir. It was an accident.
Carl Lee Hailey: Ask him!
Jake Tyler Brigance: Do you think he should be punished for shooting you?
Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: No, sir. I hold no ill will toward the man. He did what I would have done.
Jake Tyler Brigance: What do you mean by that?
Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: I mean, I don't blame him for what he did. Those boys raped his little girl.
D.A. Rufus Buckley: Objection, your Honor! The witness's opinion on this matter is irrelevant.
Jake Tyler Brigance: Your Honor, I believe Deputy Looney has earned the right to speak here today.
Judge Omar Noose: Overruled. Continue.
Jake Tyler Brigance: Go ahead, Dwayne.
Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: I got a little girl. Somebody rapes her, he's a dead dog. I'll blow him away just like Carl Lee did.
D.A. Rufus Buckley: Objection your Honor!
Jake Tyler Brigance: Do you think the jury should convict Carl Lee Hailey?
Judge Omar Noose: Don't answer that question.
Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: He's a hero. You turn him loose.
Judge Omar Noose: The jury will disregard...
Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: Turn him loose!
D.A. Rufus Buckley: Your honor, you silenced that witness!
Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: You turn him loose!

View Quote [Last words] DJANGO! You uppity son of a--

View Quote [To Django] Your black ass been all them mother****ers at the big house could talk about for the last few hours. Seem like white folk ain't never had a bright idea in they life is comin' up with all kinds of ways to kill your ass. Now mind you, most of them ideas had to do with ****in' with your fun parts. Now that may seem like a good idea, but truth is when you snip a ****'s nuts most of 'em bleed out in oh, about seven minutes. Most of 'em. Well, more than most. Then I says, "Shitfire, the **** we sells to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that!" And they still saying, "Let's whip him to death!" or "Throw him to the mandingos! Feed him to Stonesipher's dogs!" I said "What's so special about that? We do that shit all the time. Hell's bells, the **** we sells to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that!" Lo and behold! Out of nowhere, Miss Lara come up with the bright idea of givin' your ass to the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company. And as a slave of the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company, henceforth till the day you die, all day, every day, you will be swingin' a sledgehammer, turnin' big rocks into little rocks. Now when you get there, they gonna take away your name, gi'ya a number and a sledgehammer and say, "Get to work!" One word of sass, they cuts out your tongue. They good at it too. You won't bleed out. Oh, they does that real good! They gonna work yout, all day, every day, till your back give out. Then they gonna hitcha in the head with a hammer, and throw your ass down the **** hole, and that will be the story of you, Django!

View Quote [Candie's family and friends enter Candyland after the funeral. As they enter, Stephen sings "In the Sweet By and By"]
Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly: Cora, would you prepare us some coffee?
Stephen: Sheba, you help her.
Cora: Come on.
Stephen: In the sweet...
Django: [singing in the shadows] "...By and by." [walks into view] Oh, y'all gonna be together with Calvin in the by-and-by, just a bit sooner than y'all was expectin'. [shoots the plantation hands as they draw their guns] Billy Crash! Now where were we? Oh, that's right. Last time I seen you, you had your hands on my— [shoots Crash in the groin]
Billy Crash: D-Jango, you black son of a bitch!
Django: The D is silent, hillbilly. [shoots Crash in the head]
Lara Lee: Oh no!
Django: Now, all you black folks, I suggest you get away from all these white folks. Not you, Stephen. You right where you belong. Uh, Cora, before you go would you tell Ms. Lara goodbye?
Cora: Do what now?
Django: I said, tell Ms. Lara goodbye?
Cora: Bye, Ms. Lara! [Django shoots Lara, knocking her into the next room]
Django: Y’all you two run along now. [Cora and Sheba flee from the mansion] Stephen, how you like my new duds? You know, before now I didn't know that burgundy was my color.
Stephen: I count six shots, ****.
Django: I count two guns, ****. You said in 76 years on this plantation, you seen all manner-a shit done to ****. But I notice, you didn't mention kneecappin'. [shoots Stephen in his right knee]
Stephen: Oh God! Mother****er! Damn it!
Django: Seventy-six years, Stephen. How many **** you see come and go, huh? Seven thousand? Eight thousand? Nine thousand? Nine thousand, nine hundred and ninty nine? Every single word that came out of Calvin Candie's mouth was nothin' but horseshit. But he was right about one thing: I am that one **** in 10,000. [Django shoots Stephen in his left knee, who collapses screaming]
Stephen: You son of a bitch! You mother****er! Oh, sweet Jesus, let me kill this ****! You ain't gonna get away with this, Django! They gonna catch your black ass. You gonna be on the wanted posters now, ****! The bounty hunters is gonna lookin' for you. You can run, ****, but they gonna find your ass! And when they do, oh, Lord, what they gonna do to your ass! They ain't gonna just kill you, ****! You done **** up! This Candyland, ****! You can't destroy Candyland! We been here! There's always gonna be a Candyland! [Django lights the fuse to a batch of dynamite and exits] Can't no **** gunfighter kill all the white folks in the world! They gonna find your black ass! [Stephen laughs hysterically] Django! You uppity son of a... [Mansion explodes]

View Quote You think you can go on like this forever? Living your life with no consequences? Hmm? There are always consequences!!

View Quote You think you can hide behind a wall? Go anywhere?! Do anything?! NOT ANYMORE!!

View Quote There are some things you can't jump, David!!

View Quote [To Pierce, shortly before The Beast kills him] This is where they'd paint you with big eyes and bubbles of confusion over your head.

View Quote This was not a "Limited Edition" — this was an origin story, the whole time.

View Quote [Last words] I wasn’t a mistake, Momma.

View Quote [Last words] Oh, no. Motherf–

View Quote [Last lines]
Nick Fury: Still no word from Stark?
Maria Hill: No, not yet. We're watching every satellite in both hemispheres, there's still nothing. [Receives three beeps from her device]
Fury: What is it?
Hill: Multiple bogeys, over Wakanda.
Fury: Same energy signatures as New York?
Hill: Ten times bigger.
Fury: Tell Klein. We'll meet him at–
Hill: Nick!
[Suddenly, a car spirals out of control into them. Hill goes over to check on the driver of the car, but sees no one is in there]
Fury: They okay?
Hill: There's no one here.
[Suddenly, a helicopter, with ash flying out, crashes into a building. The two are now witnessing civilians around them suddenly disintegrating]
Fury: Call Control. Code red!
Hill: Nick?
[Fury turns around to see Hill turning to ashes]
Fury: Hill?
[Fury then races back to their car and gets a pager out. He sends out an emergency alert, mere seconds before his hand turns into ashes]
Fury: Oh, no. Motherfu-
[ Before he could finish the line, Fury corrodes to dust. The pager falls to the ground, red lights blinking on the additions; the camera zooms in and we see the device display "SENDING..." then display a red-blue-and-gold star insignia – indicating the symbol of Captain Marvel]
To Be Continued...

View Quote [reviewing the footage from the RoboCop unveiling] Until today, Thomas King was a convicted felon wanted for rape, arson, and murder. This man has torn apart American families. On the loose for six years. And where was this criminal mastermind hiding? Right in front of the police headquarters. [explaining RoboCop's footage in background display] Here he is, just steps away from two of Detroit's finest. These two officers are completely unaware of the monster in their midst. And then, in 60 seconds... I repeat, just 60 seconds, Detective Murphy brings him down. [points to Murphy serving Miranda rights] This, my friends, is the future of American justice. How many like Thomas King will pay for their crimes now that RoboCop is here?

View Quote [in the latest Novak Element]
Pat Novak: There's still no word from Omnicorp parent company, OCP. And although the government says they are rebuilding Alex Murphy, rumors continue to swirl about his condition. But we have obtained exclusive video taken by cell phone that shows the people of Detroit may have Alex Murphy back on the streets sooner than they think. The real tragedy here is that our president chose to [pulls up the latest Washington Post] uphold the Dreyfus Act. Now, I have no doubt he was manipulated by our biased media, and by whistleblower Dennett Norton. [shows clip of Norton's Senate testimony as if extracted from the front page]
Dr Dennett Norton: I acknowledge we know less than we thought. But I do believe my research program is sound. What I did with it... was wrong.
Novak: The fact that THIS mother[beep]er is not serving time in some federal penitentiary is a HUGE, HOT, HEAPIN' PILE OF HORSESH[bleep]! [pauses; walks back to centre stage] Now I know some of you may think that this kind of thinking is dangerous, and these machines violate your civil liberties. Some of you even believe that the use of these drones overseas makes us the same kind of bullying imperialists that our forefathers were trying to escape. To you, I say... STOP WHINING! America is now and always will be the greatest country on the face of the Earth! I'm Pat Novak. Good night.

View Quote [Last lines] Everybody back to work! Who's got my shoes?

View Quote [Peter and Fury are riding a boat.]
Fury: Stark left these for you.
Peter: Really?
[Fury gives Peter a glasses case. Peter takes it and opens it to reveal a pair of sunglasses. He turns to Fury.]
Fury: Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Stark said you wouldn't get that because it's not a Star Wars reference.

View Quote Stop it!

View Quote What? No! Get everyone to the evacuation deck, NOW!!!

View Quote Attention to orders. I have a presentation to make. For service above and beyond the call of duty of a tourist, or even a Marine, we recognize Professor John Patrick Ryan, with the Order of the Purple Target. [he hangs a medal around Jack's neck in the shape of a bulls-eye, with the words "SHOOT ME" on it] And hope that he will duck next time, lest he become part of history, rather than a teacher of it.

View Quote Roman: (while trying to talk down a Hostage Taker through a closed door) Yeah, I like animals better than people sometimes, especially dogs. Dogs are the best. Every time you come home, they act like they haven't seen you in a year. And the good thing about dogs... is they got different dogs for different people. Like pit bulls. The dog of dogs. Pit bulls can be the right man's best friend or the wrong man's worst enemy. You gonna give me a dog for a pet, give me a pit bull. Give me... Raoul. Right, Omar? Give me Raoul!
Omar: (shouting at his Pitbull that is constantly barking) I **** hate Raoul! Shut the **** up, asshole! Son of a bitch won't shut up!
Roman: (to his partner Nathan) Hates Raoul. Farley **** up the list.
Roman: (talking again to Omar through a door) Yeah, I can dig it, Omar. I had a dog like that, a poodle. She didn't bark, though. She pissed on the floor. I hated that dog. But if I was ever depressed, she'd lay her head in my lap, look up at me with those big old eyes. And even though I thought I hated that dog... I loved her. It's like that, ain't it? That love-hate thing.
Omar: (getting more erratic) No more goddamned talk! I can't wait anymore. I want my wife! I want her up here. Or I'll do our daughter.
Roman: Omar. Listen to me.
Omar: No more **** talking. I want that bitch or I'll do the girl.
Roman: Omar, I'm doing the best I can here, man.
Omar: I'm not gonna hurt her. I just want her to see me blow my brains out. I want her to think about that when she's sucking that fat prick's ****.