Zeus [McClane and Zeus are speeding through Central Park in a taxicab.]
Are you aiming for these people?
No! [pause] Maybe that mime.
2nd most-quoted character in Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995): in 33 of its 51 quotes
Most scenes with: John McClane (26), Simon Gruber (6)
You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I hate ****" has either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking.
Scenes with Zeus Carver
32 scenes Zeus
Gang member
[pops up]
Nicht schießen!
Mathias Targo [kicks McClane out from behind]
He said "don't shoot".
Mathias Targo I see you all day, little man. Policeman? [kicks McClane] And you don't go away!
Yeah, I'm the ****in' energizer bunny. [stabs him in the leg]
[into radio]
Bridgeport coast guard, come in, please. [to McClane] They put you on hold?
She told me to stay on the line.
You know, your brother was an asshole.
[while tied to a large bomb]
Hey ****head. Yeah you; ****head. There's just one thing I gotta know. You got any aspirins? 'Cause I've had a bad ****in' headache all day long.
Hey, can you pick locks?
Zeus Is this one of those black things again?
Zeus [the bomb starts beeping]
What the **** is that?
I think I made it mad.
[after McClane and Zeus 'requisition' a man's car]
:
Zeus Hey, who was the twenty-first President?
Man
Go **** yourself!
There's gold in the Federal Reserve, and they took a shitload of it! They're heading north in dump trucks!
Cobb Have you been drinking, McClane?
No, not since this morning.
Zeus [McClane opens jeep door & a dead body falls out]
What are you doin'?
Interagatin' him.
Zeus ...n' whats he gonna tell you, "I'm dead"?
Well I a'int gonna know 'til I ask him now, am I?
Cobb John, have you been drinking?
No, not since this morning.
[on the guard's phone]
Attention! Attention! Nils is dead! I repeat, Nils is dead, ****-head. So's his pal, and those four guys from the East German All-Stars, your boys at the bank? They're gonna be a little late.
[on the phone]
John... in the back of the truck you're driving, there's 13 billon dollars worth in gold bullion. I wonder would a deal be out of the question?
[on the phone]
Yeah, I got a deal for you. Come out from that rock you're hiding under, and I'll drive this truck up your ass.
[McClane shows up to stop Simon while he's having sex with Katya]
Hey, dickhead. Did I come at a bad time?
Zeus Carver [Katya, furious, shoots at McClane's helicopter. Zeus laughs]
Whoa-ho! I think she's pissed at you, McClane! [chuckles]
Zeus Carver [McClane is flung out of a hole in the ground which Zeus, driving by, notices]
You've got a hell of a way of flagging somebody down!
Zeus Carver [Having just barely missed a bus thanks to McClane’s reckless driving]
Where the hell are you going, McClane?! I told you 9th Avenue was the quickest way south!
Stop with that goddamn yelling! I know what I’m doing!
Zeus Carver Not even God knows what you’re doing!
Zeus Carver How do Catholics do their thing?
North, South, West, East. [Zeus crosses himself in those directions] How much time?
Zeus Carver 27 minutes.
Ha! 72nd and Broadway to Central Park South in three minutes! It's gotta be a ****in' record!
Raymond [Zeus's nephews visit their uncle at his electronics store with a new stereo]
Yo, uncle!
Dexter
Come look at this!
Zeus Carver [looks at watch]
It's ten after 9:00. Why aren't you in school?
Raymond Tony wants to sell you this.
Zeus Carver Tony? That no-neck dude they call "Bad T"?
Dexter
He says he found it in a dumpster.
Zeus Carver If he keeps stealin' from people, they're gonna find him in a dumpster.
Raymond No, he didn't steal it! He says his uncle gave it to him.
Zeus Carver Mmmm-hmmm? Hand me that newspaper over there.
Zeus Carver [Raymond hands Zeus the paper, who slaps him over the head]
Don't ever let people use you. You're running all over town with stolen property! If you get caught, you get in trouble while he gets to deny the whole thing and walk away.
Dexter
Y-You mean, you want us to take it back to Tony?
Zeus Carver No, I'll take it back to Tony … with a message.
Zeus Now, where you goin'?
Dexter
School.
Zeus Why?
Raymond To get educated.
Zeus Why?
Dexter
So we can go to college.
Zeus And why is that important?
Dexter
To get 'espect.
Zeus Respect. Now, who's the bad guys?
Dexter
Guys who sell drugs.
Raymond Guys who have guns.
Zeus And who's the good guys?
Dexter
We're the good guys.
Zeus Who's gonna help you?
Raymond Nobody.
Zeus So who's gonna help you?
Dexter
We're gonna help ourselves.
Zeus And who do we not want to help us?
Dexter and Raymond
White people!
Zeus That's right. Now get on out of here. Go to school.
Zeus Carver [Zeus and his nephews see McClane across the street from their electronics store sporting a sandwich board that says "I HATE ****"]
Dial 911. Tell the police to get up here quick. Somebody's about to get killed. And get your butts to school, you hear me?
Raymond Carver [casually]
Yeah.
Dexter Carver
Yeah.
Zeus Carver [Zeus goes out, notices a black gang across the street, then walks across to speak to McClane]
Morning.
Good morning.
Zeus Carver You having a nice day, sir? You feelin' all right? [A car passing by honks its horn in response to McClane's message] Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I Hate ****" has either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking. [McClane yawns] Hey, I'm talking to you! Now you've got about ten seconds before those guys see you, and when they do, they will kill you, you understand? You are about to have a very bad day.
Tell me about it, Sir this is a police matter, for your own safety I'm gonna have... .
Zeus Carver You damn right it's a police matter, for you're own safety I suggest you hide your butt in my shop till the police get here.
Black Gang Member
WHAT THE ****?!
Zeus Carver [looks to see the Gang Member at McClane with the sign]
Oh shit.
Listen, I'm a cop.
Zeus Carver What?
I'm on a case. Somebody blew Bonwit Teller's an hour ago. Did you hear about that on the news?
Zeus Carver Yeah.
The same asshole that did that said I gotta come to Harlem and do this, or he's gonna blow up somethin' else, do you understand?
Zeus Carver [muttering]
Shit, shit...
Listen I got a gun.
Zeus Carver They got ten guns.
When you get across the street, you should get across the street.
Zeus Carver Look, start acting crazy, alright?
What?
Zeus Carver Like Looney Tunes, you know like Bellevue?
Black Gang Leader
[A black gang has seen McClane with the "I hate ****" sign and is surrounding him and Zeus]
Hey, Zeus. Is he a friend of yours?
Zeus Carver He look like a friend of mine? I think this dude has just escaped from some hospital. You know, like Bellevue?
Zeus Carver How the hell would I know?
Just keep pressure on it.
Zeus Carver Oh, ****!
Jesús, right? John McClane. I owe you one. Thanks for-
Zeus Carver Damn right, you owe me! Do you have any idea what those guys are doing to my shop right now?
Chill out, Jesús.
Zeus Carver Chill out? What the ****? Are you trying to relate to me? Talk like a white man!
Look, Jesús, I'm sorry you got involved!
Zeus Carver Why're you calling me "Jesús"? Do I look Puerto Rican to you?
The guy back there called you Jesús.
Zeus Carver He didn't say "Jesús," he said "Hey, Zeus!" My name is Zeus.
Zeus?
Zeus Carver Yeah, Zeus! As in Father of Apollo? Mount Olympus? Don't-****-with-me-or-I'll-shove-a-lightning-bolt-up-your-ass Zeus! You got a problem with that?
No...no, I don't have a problem.
Zeus Carver [McClane and Zeus have just carjacked a taxi]
I used to drive a cab. The fastest way to – [yells as McClane speeds off; McClane runs a red light, barely avoiding collision with several cars]
You were saying?
Zeus Carver I was saying, I used to drive a cab, and 9th Avenue is the fastest way south. But we seem to be going east.
You know how to pick this lock?
Zeus Carver Is this some black shit again?
Will you stop with that racial shit?
Listen, you fail, I cover your ass. I fail, you cover my ass.
Zeus Carver And if we both fail?
Then we're both ****! Go now, drive. Get to that phone booth by 10:20! Go!
Zeus Carver [mutters to himself]
My lucky **** day...
Zeus Carver [After McClane and Zeus "requisition" of a man's car]
Hey, who was the twenty-first President?
Man
Go **** yourself!
Zeus Carver That dude was pissed!
He'll feel better when he looks in the back seat.
Zeus Carver Oh, shit, that was my gold bar!
Zeus Carver [While John McClane and Zeus Carver navigates through to the next bomb location]
But Wall Street is south!
Stop yelling! I got a headache! And the best way south is not 9th Avenue. It's through the park.
Zeus Carver [sees a narrow gap between two cars]
Oh, dear.
Zeus Carver [John drives through the gap to see the traffic backed up]
I told you Park Drive is always jammed!
I didn't say "Park Drive". [turns the cab and drives onto the sidewalk, cutting through Central Park] I said "through the park".
Zeus Carver [To reach the payphone at the IRT Broadway - Seventh Avenue Line's Wall Street station, Zeus jumps the turnstile and is seen by a transit cop, who chases him and trains a Glock on him] [slowly]
I have to answer that phone.
Transit Cop Get 'em up!
Zeus Carver Look, if you have to shoot me, then you go ahead, and you shoot me! But I have to answer this phone, alright?!' [picks up the receiver] I'm here.
And McClane?
Zeus Carver He's on his way. Uh, you know, he's a little slow. He's kinda outta shape.
The rules applied to both of you. I'm afraid this is noncompliance. Goodbye. [hangs up. The screeching of wheel flanges can be heard from inside the tunnel]
Zeus Carver Trust me guys. Duck. [He immediately assumes the brace position. The downtown #3 train that the bomb has been planted in enters the station. At the back of the tenth car, McClane smashes the panel on the door and throws the bomb out onto the tracks. As he does that, the front wheels of the first car pass over a trip wire over the inner rail that activates the detonator. The bomb goes off in midair, causing the last car to separate from the wheel bogies. The carbody slides along the island platform, taking out the station columns and signs, emitting a large plume of dust at the station entrances on the street. The transit cop stands still, petrified at the scene]
Zeus Carver Get down! [He pulls the transit cop under the stairs. The derailed car hits the stairway and turns on its side]
Zeus Carver [McClane and Zeus are arguing]
You were gonna call me a ****, weren't you?
No, I wasn't!
Zeus Carver Yes, you were!
No!
Zeus Carver Then what were you gonna call me?!
ASSHOLE! How's that, asshole?! What, you got some ****in' problem with me 'cause I'm white, Zeus?! Is that it?! Have I oppressed you?! Have I oppressed your people somehow?! I'll tell you what your ****in' problem is! You're a racist!
Zeus Carver [Stunned]
What?!
You're a racist! You don't like me 'cause I'm white!
Zeus Carver I don't like you because you're gonna get me killed!
Zeus [McClane opens a truck door and a dead body falls out]
What are you doing?
Interrogating him.
Zeus And what's he gonna tell you? "I'm dead"?
Well, I ain't gonna know 'til I ask him, now, am I?
Zeus Carver [Zeus draws a gun on Simon, who is eating an egg]
Don't **** move!
Zeus Carver Gimme the goddamn code!
Code? [realizes what Zeus is talking about] Oh, you mean for the school. I'm sorry, I can't do that.
Zeus Carver You call in that code right now, or I'll blow your sick ass into the next world!
If that's what you gotta do.
[Zeus pulls the trigger on his gun and nothing happens. Simon casually takes the gun from Zeus]
You forgot to take the safety catch off. [shoots Zeus in the leg]
Zeus Carver Argh! God!
See, that works. Now, where's McClane?
Zeus Carver Didn't I hear you say you didn't even like your brother?
There's a difference, you know, between not liking one's brother, and not caring when some dumb, Irish flatfoot drops him out of a window.
Zeus Carver Hey, I didn't even know the mother****er!
Yes, and I never invited you aboard this ship.
Zeus Carver No riddle's going to stop this mother****er?
No code, no riddle, no fancy countdown. [Attempts to leave the ship]
[While tied to a large bomb]
Hey ****-head. [Simon stops instantly and turns around] Yeah, you, ****-head. There's just one thing I gotta know. You got any aspirins? I've had a bad ****in' headache all day long.
Zeus Carver If I hadn't have saved your ****in' ass, I wouldn't be sittin' here with you about to blow up with 100 billion dollars in ****in' gold.
Yeah, well, I got some bad news, you're only gonna blow up with me.
Zeus Carver What?
There's no gold on this boat.
Zeus Carver How do you know that?
'Cause I know the man, I know the family. The only thing better than blowing up $100 billion dollars worth of gold is making people think you did.
Other characters in Die Hard With a Vengeance
More Samuel L. Jackson characters
Mace Windu
Jules Winnfield
Mitch Henessey
Elijah Price
Vic
Ordell Robbie
Lt. Col. Preston Packard
Major Marquis Warren