Claire
I went through a pyromaniac phase when I was younger.
Neville
You too, huh?
Snakes on a Plane quotes
Page 1 of 2 Claire
Neville
Claire
I'm gonna miss these night flights.
Grace
I like the passengers so much better when they're unconscious.
Neville
Brakes, Troy! Put your ass into it!
Troy
Uh, this part ain't in the game!
Neville
Is crashing part of the game, huh?!
Troy
I don't know, man! I usually just hit 'reset' and start the level over!
Neville
[Neville sees that they are about to collide with a building.]
Oh shit, left! Left! Turn this big mother****er left, Troy!
Neville
We need weapons. Do you have any silverware or cutlery?
Claire
We don't have any silverware. All we have are these--
Neville
Sporks?
Neville
Well, that's good news: snakes on crack.
Neville
What was the first thing I said?
Sean
Things have changed! The plane is full of snake--God, "Do as I say and you live!"
Paul
Why exactly are there snakes on this plane?
Neville
I don't have time to explain.
Paul
Well, you better make time. You put us at risk and you're gonna tell us why.
Neville
What I'm gonna tell you is to go back downstairs now.
Clarence
Man, who the hell you think you are?
Sean
Whoa whoa whoa, okay, look. The snakes are on the plane because... I'm supposed to testify tomorrow against Eddie Kim.
Paul
[Sean reveals to the other passengers that the snakes are on the plane because he was going to testify against Eddie Kim.]
Jesus Christ. We're all dead!
Neville
Not me. It's my job to handle life-and-death situations on a daily basis. It's what I do, and I'm very good at it. Now you can stand there and be the panicked, angry mob and blame him, me and the government for getting you into this. But if you want to survive tonight, you need to save. your energy and start working together. Now what we need to do is go back in there and find all the dead snakes we can so the doctors on the ground will know what kind of antivenoms we need. Whatever you find, you bring it to me. And I don't need to tell you to be careful.
Sean
Have you heard of Eddie Kim?
Tiffany
Who hasn't? Oh! One time I saw on of those cheesy police show remakes where he killed a guy who was a witness against him by cutting out his eyes and feeding them to wild pigs. What have you got to do with him?
Sean
I'm a witness for the prosecution.
Tiffany
Oh. That's hot!
Sean
It's getting hot in here.
Neville
I'm from Tennessee, I hadn't noticed.
Sean
So, how long you been working with him?
Neville
Five years, one blown marriage each. He's the toughest son of a bitch I've ever met.
Sean
What was the first thing you ever said to me?
Neville
What the **** does that have to do with anything?
Steven Price
Snakes don't attack, unless they're provoked. Something up there's making them go crazy, possibly some kind of drug.
Troy
It's not a video-game. It's a flight simulator.
Neville
Is that PlayStation or Xbox?
Grace
[Grace hears a couple being killed in the bathroom but thinks they are having sex.]
Mile High Club. Those were the days.
Grace
[The screaming gets louder] [smiling]
Wow, this guy is good.
Grace
[Abruptly, the screaming stops]
Well, maybe not that good.
Neville Flynn
Enough Is ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MONKEY-FIGHTING SNAKES ON THIS MONDAY T'FRIDAY PLANE! EVERYBODY STRAP IN! [extracts his gun] We're about to open some freakin' windows.