Agent Reggie Simmons Ronald Wikity?
It's "Witwicky". Who are you?
Agent Simmons [shows badge]
We're the government. Sector 7.
Agent Simmons Never will. Your son is the great-grandson of Archibald Wikity, is he not?
Agent Simmons [steps through the door]
May we enter the premises, sir?
Ron, there's guys all over the front yard!
What the heck is going on here?!
Agent Simmons Your son filed a stolen car report last night. We think he may be involved in a National Security matter.
Agent Simmons That's right, National Security.
Agent Simmons [Agent Simmons is interrogating Sam and Mikaela in a car]
Hey, you see this? [shows them his badge] This is a "do whatever I want and get away with it" badge. I'm gonna lock you up forever.
Oh God... you know what? Don't listen to him. He's just pissy because he's gotta get back to guarding the Mall.
Agent Simmons You in the training bra. Do not test me, especially with your daddy's parole coming up.
Agent Simmons A grand theft auto? That ain't nothing?
You know those cars my dad used to teach me to fix? Well, they... They weren't always his.
Well, we couldn't always afford a babysitter, so he'd sometimes had to bring me along.
Agent Simmons She's got her own juvy record to prove it! She's a criminal. And criminals are hot! Now it'd be a real shame if he rots in jail for the rest of his natural life. It is time to talk!
[The car crashes into an unknown object and is suddenly lifted from the ground, then falls back down as the roof is ripped off]
You A-holes are in trouble now. Gentlemen, I want to introduce you to my friend, Optimus Prime.
Taking the children was a bad move. Autobots relieve them of their weapons!
[The agents point their weapons at Prime, while the Autobots jump down from a nearby bridge and reveal their weapons] [brandishing his cannons]
Freeze!!
Agent Simmons Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Give me those! [uses his magnetic hands to disarm the agents]
Agent Simmons [Optimus Prime leans in to face Simmons and the agents] [staring at Prime]
Hi there.
You don't seem afraid. Are you not surprised to see us?
Agent Simmons Look there are—S7 protocols, okay? I'm not authorized to communicate with you... except to tell you that I cannot communicate with—you
[sternly]
Get out of the car.
Agent Simmons Uh...me? You want me to...
Agent Simmons All right, I'm getting out.
What is Sector 7? Answer me!
Agent Simmons I'm the one who asks questions around here. Not you, young man!
How did you know about the aliens?
Where did you take my parents?
Agent Simmons I am not at liberty to discuss this. [Sam takes his ID] Hey, you touch me, that's a federal offense.
"Do whatever you want and get away with it badge", right?
Agent Simmons Great, brave now all of a sudden with all of your alien friends here.
Agent Simmons [sneers]
Wouldn't you like to know?
Agent Simmons [Behind him, Bumblebee pops an oil filter and leaks lubricant on Simmons]
HEY!!
Bumblebee, stop lubricating the man!
Agent Simmons Get that thing to stop, huh?!
Agent Simmons Hey kid, I think we got off to a bad start, huh? You must be hungry. You want a latte, ho-ho, double vente machiatto...
TB Tom Banachek
Son, I need you to listen to me very carefully. People can die here. We need to know everything you know and we need to know it now.
Okay, but first I want my car, my parents - maybe you could write that down. Oh, and [looks at Mikaela] her juvy record, that's gotta be gone - like forever.
TB Tom Banachek
Come with me, we'll talk about your car.
Agent Simmons [forcing a smile]
The man's an extortionist.
Agent Simmons All right, you've all had direct contact with the NBEs...
Agent Simmons Non-Biological Extraterrestrials. Try to keep up with the acronyms.
TB Tom Banachek
What you're about to see is totally classified... [Megatron is revealed]
[awestruck]
Dear God, what is that?
TB Tom Banachek
We think that when he made his approach over the North Pole, our gravitational field screwed up his telemetry and crashed into the ice, probably a few thousand years age. We shipped him here to this facility in 1934.
Agent Simmons We call him NBE-1.
I don't mean to correct you on all that you think you know, but that's Megatron. He's the leader of the Decepticons.
TB Tom Banachek
He's been in cryo-stasis since 1935. Your great-great-grandfather made one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind.
Agent Simmons Fact is, you're looking at the source of the modern age. The microchip, lasers, cars, space flight: all reverse-engineered by studying him. [sneers at Sam] NBE-1, that's what we call it!
And you didn't think the United States Military might need to know that you're keeping a hostile alien robot frozen in the basement?
Agent Simmons Until these events, we had no credible threats to national security.
[Epps and Glen stare at the gashes in the Allspark chamber]
Whoa. Has Freddy Krueger been in here?
Naw, man! Freddy Krueger's got four blades, that's only three! That's Wolverine! [growls and laughs] Right, that's Wolverine? [Epps looks very unimpressed]
Agent Simmons That's very funny. [Glenn falls slient, offended] Does anyone have any mechanical devices? BlackBerry, key alarm, cell phone?
I got a phone. [hands it to Simmons]
Agent Simmons Nokias are real nasty. You gotta respect the Japanese; they know the way of the Samurai.
Yes, but he's, uh... [quietly] you know, strange. He's a little strange.
Agent Simmons [Simmons flips a switch, shooting electricity into the box; the cellphone transforms into a well-armed miniature robot that starts shooting at the box with a gatling gun]
We're able to harness the Cube's radiation and funnel it into that box. Mean little sucker, huh?
Agent Simmons Kinda like the itty-bitty Energizer Bunny from Hell, huh?!
Agent Simmons [Sector 7 agents and the special forces are in a Mexican standoff after Sam demands the return of Bumblebee]
There's an alien war going on, and you wanna start shooting?!
We didn't ask to be here.
Agent Simmons I'm ordering you under S7 executive jurisdiction!
Yeah, and we don't take orders from people who don't exist!
Agent Simmons I'm gonna count to five.
I'm gonna count to three. [grabs Simmons by the collar and shoves the muzzle of his pistol into the Sector 7 agent's chest]
Agent Simmons Yeah?
I'd do as he says. Losing's really not an option for these guys.
Agent Simmons [to Lennox]
Okay, okay. You want to lay the fate of the world on the kid's Camaro? That's cool.
[through his radio]
Message from Starfleet, Captain. Let's get to it!
He's right. If we stay here, we're screwed with Megatron in the other hanger. Mission City is 22 miles away. We're going to sneak that Cube out of here and hide it somewhere in the city.
But we cannot make a stand without the Air Force.
This place must have some sort of radio link.
Agent Simmons Yes!
Agent Simmons Right, yes!
[to Keller]
Sir, you're going to have to find some way to get word out of them. Let's move!
Agent Simmons [to Keller]
In the alien archives, sir! There's an old Army radio console!
Agent Simmons Anything's possible! Did you see that...?
