Sam Witwicky It's a robot. You know, like a super advanced robot. It's probably Japanese. [pause] It's definitely Japanese.
Played by Shia LaBeouf 
Transformers (2007) · 197 quotes
Transformers (2007) · 197 quotes
Most-quoted character in Transformers (2007): in 48 of its 197 quotes
Most scenes with: Mikaela Banes (11), Optimus Prime (6), Ron Witwicky (5)
Sir, look outside. Do you see that man sitting in the green car? That's my dad. Let me tell you a story about a dream, a boy's dream and a man's promise to that boy: he looked at me in the eye and said, "Son, I'm gonna buy you a car, but I want you to bring me two thousand dollars and three A's." I already have the two thousand and two A's. [holds his hands up in a circle] Here's the dream. Your B minus? [mimes the circle exploding] Poof! Dream gone. Ka-put. Now ask yourself... What would Jesus do?
More lines from Sam Witwicky
23 quotes Sam Witwicky Sam Witwicky This isn't hiding! This isn't hiding! This is my backyard, not a truck stop! [to the Autobots, who are in vehicle mode in his backyard]
Sam Witwicky [to Frenzy]
Not so tough without a head, are you? [kicks Frenzy's head]
Sam Witwicky [To Sector 7 agents subduing Bumblebee]
STOP! He's not going to hurt you!
Sam Witwicky [Bumblebee drives off to signal the Autobots]
Hey, that's my car! Dad, call the cops!
Sam Witwicky [checking out his car for the first time]
Feels good.
Sam Witwicky [to Bumblebee]
You're my guardian, huh?
Sam Witwicky [to an injured Bumblebee]
I'm not going to leave you!
Sam Witwicky [talking into phone]
Hello, 911 emergency. My car's been stolen! I'm in pursuit! I need the whole squadron, bring everybody! No, no don't ask any questions, my father's the head of the neighborhood watch!
Sam Witwicky [seeing his car transform for the first time]
Oh my God... [talking into phone] My name is Sam Witwicky. Whoever finds this, my car is alive, okay. [holds up phone briefly to show Bumblebee] You see all that? If these are my last words on Earth, I just want to say that Mom, Dad, I love you and if you find Busty Beauties under my bed, it wasn't mine, I'm holding it for Miles. No, no, wait that's—Okay, that's not true. It's mine; Uncle Charles gave it to me. I'm sorry. Mojo, I love you.
Sam Witwicky [speaking to Optimus Prime through his bedroom window]
Okay, listen. You've got to listen to me. If my parents come out here and see you, they're gonna freak out; my mother's got a temper.
Sam Witwicky [seeing Barricade transform right in front of him]
Oh God, NO!!! Oh shit, oh shit, oh God, OH SHIT!!! [when being chased by Barricade]
Sam Witwicky See, now you pissed him off. That car is sensitive. I mean, $4,000 just drove away. [When Mikaela calls Bumblebee a "piece of crap Camaro"]
Sam Witwicky [to Mikaela]
I hope I didn't get you stranded or anything. You sure? So listen, I was wondering if I could ride you home. I mean, give you a ride home in my car, to your house.
Sam Witwicky This is the kind of thing romantic friends pull, and I would never think of doing this, because I'm not that kind of friend. Well, I mean we... I could be. [when Bumblebee suddenly swerves offroad while Sam is driving Mikaela home]
Sam Witwicky [to Bobby Boliva about Bumblebee as a 1976 Camero]
It's custom-faded??
Sam Witwicky I'm cool with, you know, females working on my engine. I prefer it actually.
Sam Witwicky No sacrifice, no victory. (The Witwicky family motto)
Sam Witwicky [to Mikaela]
50 years from now, when you look back at your life, don't you want to say you had the guts to get in the car?
Sam Witwicky [to Mikaela]
That's weird; I just wouldn't peg you for mechanical.
Sam Witwicky [talking into phone about Bumblebee]
Satan's Camaro, in my yard! It's stalking me!!
Sam Witwicky [to Mikaela, wondering if Sam thinks she is "shallow"]
I think there's a lot more than meets the eye with you. [after she gets out] "More than meets the eye with you"... that's a stupid line. [to himself] Oh my God, I love my car.
Sam Witwicky [is being attacked by Frenzy]
He's trying to kill me! [runs away after Frenzy succeeds in removing his pants]
Scenes with Sam Witwicky
24 scenesI've got a little surprise for you, son. [drives towards a Porsche dealer] Yep, a little surprise.
Sam Witwicky No, no, no, NO!! Dad! Oh, you've got to be kidding me!
Yeah, I am. [drives past Porsche dealer] You're not getting a Porsche!
Sam Witwicky [offended look]
You think that's funny?
Yeah, I think it's funny.
Sam Witwicky What's wrong with you?!
What, did you really think I'd get you a Porsche? For your first car?
Sam Witwicky I don't wanna talk to you for the rest of the day. [Ron chuckles]
Sam Witwicky [in a used car showroom]
Okay, let me explain something to you. You ever seen The 40-Year-Old Virgin?
Yeah...
Sam Witwicky Well, that... [points to a car] is what it is, and this [points to another car] is the 50-year-old virgin. Do you want me to live that life?
How can I help you, gentlemen?
My son. Looking to buy his first car.
Sam Witwicky [quietly]
I had to.
That practically makes us family. Uncle Bobby B, baby. [shakes hands with Sam] Uncle Bobby B. [smiles]
Trent So, what are you guys doing here?
Sam Witwkcky
[looking at the tree Miles climbing]
We're here to climb this tree.
Trent I can see, it looks... it looks fun. You know, I thought I recognized you. You tried out for the football team last year, right?
Sam Witwicky Oh, no, no, that... That wasn't like a real try-out. I was researching a book I was writing?
Trent Oh, yeah?
Sam Witwicky Yeah!
Trent Yeah? What's it about? Sucking at sports?
Sam Witwicky [laughs a little]
No, it's about the link between brain damage and football.
Sam Witwicky [Trent looks really angry, while Mikaela hides a smile] [nods head]
No, it's a good book, your friends will love it. You know, it's got mazes in it, you know, little coloring areas, sections, pop-up pictures... it's a lot of fun.
Trent That's funny.
Sam Witwicky [Sam is courting Mikaela]
I hope I didn't get you stranded or anything. You sure? So listen, I was wondering if I could ride you home. I mean, give you a ride home in my car, to your house. [Mikaela enters the car]
Sam Witwicky You can duck down if you want. I mean, it won't hurt my feelings.
No, no, it's not you. It's just that I'm here in this situation... I'm always in the same situation, and I don't know... I just have a weakness for hot guys with tight abs and really big arms.
Sam Witwicky [confused]
Big arms?
Whoa, nice headers. You've got a high-rise double-pump carburetor. That's... that's pretty impressive, Sam.
Sam Witwicky Double-pump?
It squirts the fuel in so you can go faster.
Sam Witwicky Oh... I like to go faster.
And your distributor cap's a little loose.
Sam Witwicky Yeah? How'd you know that?
My dad, he was a real grease monkey. He taught me all about this. I could take it all apart, clean it, and then put it back together.
Sam Witwicky That's weird; I just wouldn't peg you for mechanical.
Well, you know, I don't really broadcast it. Guys don't like it when you know more about cars than they do. Especially not Trent; he hates it. [winks at Sam]
Sam Witwicky Yeah, I'm cool with, you know, females working on my engine. I prefer it actually.
Sam Witwicky Look, I can't be any clearer than how crystal clear I am being. It just stood up.
Sheriff It just stood up? Wow, that's really neat. [hands Sam a container and a tissue] Okay, cheify, time to filler up. And no drippy-drippy. What're you rolling? Whippets, goofballs, a little wowie sauce with the boys.
Sam Witwicky No, I'm not on any drugs.
Sheriff What's these? [shows Sam his dog's pain pills] Found it in your pocket, "Mojo". Is this what the kids are doing now? A little bit of Mojo.
Sam Witwicky Those are my dog's pain pills.
You know, a Chihuahua. A little...
Sheriff [getting annoyed, rolls his eyes]
What was that?
Sam Witwicky Hmm?
Sheriff You eyeballing my piece, Fifty Cent? You wanna go? [leans over to Sam] Make something happen, do it. 'Cause, I promise you, [hovering right over Sam] I will bust you up.
Sam Witwicky [whispers]
Are you on drugs?
Sam Witwicky Well...it felt awesome.
Are you okay?
Sam Witwicky No, I'm not okay, all right? I'm losin' my mind a little bit. Gettin' chased by my car right now, gotta go!
Sam Witwicky [Barricade transforms right in front of Sam]
Oh God, NO!!! [Barricade chases him] Oh shit, oh shit, oh God, OH SHIT!!! It's a bad dream!
Barricade
[quickly and ferociously]
Are you username: LadiesMan217?!
Sam Witwicky I don't know what you're talking about!
Barricade
ARE YOU USERNAME: LADIESMAN217?!!
Sam Witwicky Yeah.
Barricade
Where is the eBay Item 21153?!
Sam Witwicky What?
Barricade
WHERE ARE THE GLASSES?!!
Sam Witwicky [about Bumblebee]
I don't think it wants to hurt us. He would've done that already.
Really? Well, do you speak robot? Because they just had, like, a giant droid death match.
Sam Witwicky [gets closer to Bumblebee]
I think it wants something from me.
What?
Sam Witwicky Well 'cause the other one was talking about my eBay page.
You are the strangest boy I have ever met.
Sam Witwicky [looking up at Bumblebee]
Can you talk?
[through his radio]
XM Satellite Radio... Digital cable brings you... Columbia Broadcasting System.
Sam Witwicky You can... you can talk through the radio?
Sam Witwicky So, what was that last night? What was that?
[pointing skywards]
Message from Starfleet, Captain... Throughout the innate vastness of space... Angels rain down like visitors from heaven! Hallelujah!
Visitors from heaven... What? What are you, like, an alien or something?
[Bumblebee points a finger at her and nods, and transforms into a 1976 Camero] [through his radio]
Any more questions you want to ask?
Sam Witwicky He wants us to get in the car.
Sam Witwicky Fifty years from now, when you're looking back at your life, don't you want to be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?
[Bumblebee is driving Sam and Mikaela through a tunnel]
This car's a pretty good driver.
Sam Witwicky Why don't you go sit in that seat there? [motions to the driver's seat]
I'm not gonna sit in that seat, he's driving.
Sam Witwicky Yeah. You're right. You know, maybe you should sit on my lap.
Why?
Sam Witwicky Well-I-I have the only seatbelt here. You know, safety first.
Yeah, alright. [climbs onto Sam's lap]
Sam Witwicky See? That's better.
You know, that seat belt thing was a pretty smooth move.
[The Autobots meet Sam and Mikaela in an alley]
Are you Samuel James Witwicky, descendant of Archibald Witwicky?
Sam Witwicky Yeah.
My name is Optimus Prime. We are Autonomous Robotic Organisms from the planet Cybetron.
But you can call us "Autobots" for short.
Sam Witwicky Autobots.
What's crackin', little bitches? [does a somersault]
My first lieutenant. Designation: Jazz.
This looks like a cool place to kick it! [jumps onto a car behind him as if it were a chair]
Sam Witwicky What is that? How did he learn to talk like that?
We've learned Earth's languages through the World Wide Web. [points to Ironhide] My weapons specialist, Ironhide.
Easy, Ironhide.
Just kidding, I just wanted to show him my cannons.
Our medical officer, Ratchet.
[Mikaela scratches her head in embarassment - Sam whistles]
You already know your guardian, Bumblebee.
Sam Witwicky Bumblebee, right? You're my guardian, huh? [Bumblebee nods]
His vocal processors were damaged in battle. I'm still working on them.
Why are you here?
We are here looking for the All Spark, and we must find it before Megatron.
Sam Witwicky Mega-what?
[produces a hologram of Cybertron for Sam and Mikaela to see]
Our planet was once a powerful empire, peaceful and just, until we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet, and the Allspark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him.
Sam Witwicky My grandfather...?
It was an accident that intertwined our fates. [flashbacks to Archibald's discovery of Megatron in the ice] Megatron crash-landed before he could retreive the Cube. He accidentally activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube's location on Earth were inprinted on his glasses.
Sam Witwicky How did you know about his glasses?
eBay.
Sam Witwicky eBay...
If the Decepticons find the Allspark, they'll use its power to transform Earth's machines, and build a new army.
And the human race will be extinguished. Sam Witwicky, you hold the key to Earth's survival.
Sam Witwicky [Mojo, Sam's dog, has just peed on Ironhide's foot]
Mojo! Mojo! Off the robot!
You have a rodent infestation. Shall I terminate it?
Sam Witwicky No! No! This is a Chihuahua. We all love Chihuahuas.
He's leaked lubricant all over my foot!
Sam Witwicky He—you mean he peed on you? [to Mojo] Bad Mojo! Bad Mojo!
Bad Mojo!
Sam Witwicky I'm sorry, it's a male dominance thing, that's all...
Hugghh... My foot's gonna rust.
[After his parents enter his bedroom, Sam is desperately protesting; the Autobots are secretly outside, and Mikaela is hiding in the room]
Oh, for Pete's sakes! You are so defensive! Were you... masturbating?
Judy.
Sam Witwicky [frantic]
Was I master... No, Mom!
Zip it, okay?
It's okay.
Sam Witwicky No, I don't masturbate!
That's not something for you to bring up.
It's okay.
That's a father-and-son thing, okay?
Sam Witwicky [amazed]
Father-and-son thing.
I mean, you don't have to call it that word if it makes you uncomfortable. You can call it "Sam's happy time".
Sam Witwicky Happy time?
Or "My special alone time with myself".
Judy, stop.
Sam Witwicky [final plea]
Mom, you can't come in and...
I'm sorry, it's just been a weird night; I've had a little too much to drink.
[Agent Simmons is interrogating Sam and Mikaela in a car]
Hey, you see this? [shows them his badge] This is a "do whatever I want and get away with it" badge. I'm gonna lock you up forever.
Oh God... you know what? Don't listen to him. He's just pissy because he's gotta get back to guarding the Mall.
You in the training bra. Do not test me, especially with your daddy's parole coming up.
Sam Witwicky What? Parole?!
It's nothing.
A grand theft auto? That ain't nothing?
You know those cars my dad used to teach me to fix? Well, they... They weren't always his.
Sam Witwicky You stole cars?!
Well, we couldn't always afford a babysitter, so he'd sometimes had to bring me along.
She's got her own juvy record to prove it! She's a criminal. And criminals are hot! Now it'd be a real shame if he rots in jail for the rest of his natural life. It is time to talk!
Sam Witwicky [The car crashes into an unknown object and is suddenly lifted from the ground, then falls back down as the roof is ripped off]
You A-holes are in trouble now. Gentlemen, I want to introduce you to my friend, Optimus Prime.
Taking the children was a bad move. Autobots relieve them of their weapons!
[The agents point their weapons at Prime, while the Autobots jump down from a nearby bridge and reveal their weapons] [brandishing his cannons]
Freeze!!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Give me those! [uses his magnetic hands to disarm the agents]
You don't seem afraid. Are you not surprised to see us?
Look there are—S7 protocols, okay? I'm not authorized to communicate with you... except to tell you that I cannot communicate with—you
Uh...me? You want me to...
NOW!!!
All right, I'm getting out.
Sam Witwicky What is Sector 7? Answer me!
I'm the one who asks questions around here. Not you, young man!
How did you know about the aliens?
Sam Witwicky Where did you take my parents?
I am not at liberty to discuss this. [Sam takes his ID] Hey, you touch me, that's a federal offense.
Sam Witwicky "Do whatever you want and get away with it badge", right?
Great, brave now all of a sudden with all of your alien friends here.
Sam Witwicky Where's Sector 7?!
Bumblebee, stop lubricating the man!
Get that thing to stop, huh?!
Sam Witwicky [Sam and Mikaela are being transported in the same helicopter as Maggie and Glen]
So...
What did they get you for?
Sam Witwicky I bought a car. Turned out to be an alien robot.
Sam Witwicky Who knew?
Hey kid, I think we got off to a bad start, huh? You must be hungry. You want a latte, ho-ho, double vente machiatto...
Sam Witwicky Where's my car?
Tom Banachek
Son, I need you to listen to me very carefully. People can die here. We need to know everything you know and we need to know it now.
Sam Witwicky Okay, but first I want my car, my parents - maybe you could write that down. Oh, and [looks at Mikaela] her juvy record, that's gotta be gone - like forever.
Tom Banachek
Come with me, we'll talk about your car.
All right, you've all had direct contact with the NBEs...
Non-Biological Extraterrestrials. Try to keep up with the acronyms.
Tom Banachek
What you're about to see is totally classified... [Megatron is revealed]
Tom Banachek
We think that when he made his approach over the North Pole, our gravitational field screwed up his telemetry and crashed into the ice, probably a few thousand years age. We shipped him here to this facility in 1934.
We call him NBE-1.
Sam Witwicky I don't mean to correct you on all that you think you know, but that's Megatron. He's the leader of the Decepticons.
Tom Banachek
He's been in cryo-stasis since 1935. Your great-great-grandfather made one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind.
Fact is, you're looking at the source of the modern age. The microchip, lasers, cars, space flight: all reverse-engineered by studying him. [sneers at Sam] NBE-1, that's what we call it!
And you didn't think the United States Military might need to know that you're keeping a hostile alien robot frozen in the basement?
Until these events, we had no credible threats to national security.
Well, you got one now!
Sam Witwicky [The humans and Autobots are fleeing Hoover Dam; the Allspark is in Bumblebee's backseat]
The Cube's okay?
Yeah, it's fine.
Sam Witwicky Put the seatbelt on.
Sam, where's the Cube?
Sam Witwicky [pointing to the ground]
Right there!
Right! Here, take this flare! Take the Cube, and head to that building! Get to the top, and light a flare! There's some Black Hawks coming! One of them will come to you and get in and take and take the Cube to the authorities!
Sam Witwicky What? No, I can't do this!
Listen to me! You're a soldier now! All right, I need you take this Cube, get it into military hands while we hold them off, or a lot of people are gonna die. [to Mikaela] You got to go, you got to go.
No, I'm not leaving.
You need to go.
No, I'm not leaving till I get Bumblebee out of here, okay?
Sam, we will protect you.
Epps, where are those planes?
Sam, no matter what happens... I'm really glad I got in that car with you.
Sam, get to the building! Move!
Is it fear or courage that compels you, fleshling?
Sam Witwicky [terrified]
Oh my God... Where do I go?
Give me the Allspark, and you may live to be my pet.
Sam Witwicky [still making a stand]
I'M NEVER GIVING YOU THIS ALL SPARK!
Oh, so unwise...
[With a roar, Megatron pulls out a flair from his arm and smashes the rooftop, sending a screaming Sam plummeting towards the ground] [grabbing Sam]
I got you, boy! Hold on to the Cube!
[Prime leaps down, but Megatron grabs him, and all three tumble down into the street]
Sam, you risked your life to protect the Cube?
Sam Witwicky No sacrifice, no victory.
If I cannot defeat Megatron, you must push the Cube into my chest. I will sacrifice myself to destroy it. Get behind me. [Sam does so] It's you and me, Megatron!
No, it's just me, Prime!
At the end of this day, one shall stand... one shall fall!
You still fight for the weak! That is why you lose!
Sam, put the Cube in my chest now! Sam! No, Sam!
[Sam rams the Cube into Megatron's chest, destroying him] [to Megatron's destroyed corpse]
You left me no choice, brother. Sam, I owe you my life. We are in your debt.
Oh, Jazz. [referring to the humans] We lost a great comrade, but gained new ones. Thank you, all of you. You honor us with your bravery.
Permission granted, old friend.
Sam Witwicky You speak now?
I wish to stay with the boy.
If that is his wish.
Sam Witwicky Yes!
Other characters in Transformers
Optimus Prime
Peter Cullen
Megatron
Hugo Weaving
Mikaela Banes
Megan Fox
Secretary of Defense John Keller
Jon Voight
Capt. William Lennox
Josh Duhamel
Ron Witwicky
Kevin Dunn
Glen Whitmann
Anthony Anderson
Jazz
Darius McCrary
Judy Witwicky
Julie White
Ironhide
Maggie Madsen
Rachael Taylor
Agent Simmons
John Turturro
Bobby Bolivia
Bernie Mac
Sgt. Robert Epps
Frenzy
Tech Sgt. Epps
Ratchet
Robert Foxworth
Bumblebee
Mark Ryan
Starscream
Charlie Adler
More Shia LaBeouf characters
Henry "Mutt" Williams-Jones III
Tyler
Kale Brecht
Cody Maverick
Stanley Yelnats
Sam
Sam Witwicky
Chas Kramer