Austin Powers
Mo-o-o-o-le.
Most-quoted character in Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002): in 27 of its 85 quotes
Most scenes with: Foxxy Cleopatra (5), Doctor Evil (4), Goldmember (3)
Mole! Bloody mole! We're not supposed to the talk about the bloody mole that's winking me in the face! I want to cut it off chop it up and make it into guacamole!
More lines from Austin Powers
9 quotes
Austin Powers
Nice to mole you--meet you! Nice to meet your mole!
Austin Powers
[After making Fem-bot!Britney's head explode]
Oops, I did it again, baby. Yeah!
Austin Powers
Very Shaggadelic baby, yeah!
Austin Powers
What the--? Hey, hey stop that! Bad Mini-Me! No humping! [squirts water at Mini Me]
Austin Powers
[Hanging from Dr. Evil's recently pulled down pants]
Hey, Dr. Evil, I used to think you're crazy, but now I can see your nuts. [To audience] I thank you.
Austin Powers
[seeing Mini-Me with a knife (which he was using to open a letter)]
Assassin! [kicks Mini-Me across the room]
Austin Powers
[Walks in place]
We're going to see the twins!!
Austin Powers
[to Dr.Evil]
You know, Dr. Evil, I used to think you were crazy, but now I can see your [you're] nuts! A'thank you!
Scenes with Austin Powers
17 scenes
Austin Powers
Mr. Roboto is lying to us.
Tell me something I don't know.
Austin Powers
I open-mouth kissed a horse once.
Say what?
Austin Powers
That's something you don't know.
Assistant Director
And Cut! That's a cut everybody!
Steven Spielberg So Austin, what did you think of the opening credits?
Austin
Well, I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the grooviest filmmaker in the history of ciniema is making a mooovie about my life..very shagadelic baby, yeah! (laughs) Having said that, I do have some thoughts.
Steven Spielberg Really, (Holds up an Oscar) my friend here - he thinks it's fine the way it is.
Austin
Well no offense sir Stevie, but you've gotta have mojo baby, yeah! Hit it!
(Austin Powers Theme begins)
Austin
Excellent Basil, we've been trying for years to get a mole into Dr. Evil's lair, we know have that mole.
Basil
: Yes! Ah, and here he is.
Austin
So you're the (zoom up on the mole's mole) mo-o-ole, mo-o-o-le...
and Austin: Mo-ost, most, most excellent agent we've ever seen.
Austin
Yes, most excellent agent we've ever seen.
Mm-hmmm
Austin
(quietly to Foxxy)
Thank you.
Mole
Thank you. Now, I wasn't able to get an exact location, but I did learn that Dr. Evil has moved to a new lair outside of Tokyo Japan......By the way, I realize that I have a large mole on my face.
Austin
Where??? (nervously laughs) What? Where's that mole? I... didn't see one.
Mole
I also realize the irony that I am myself a mole.
Austin
(nervously)
No one would make that connection.
Basil
(to the Mole)
Anyway, well done, old chap. Jolly good work.
Austin
Yes, nice to mole you--meet you! Nice to meet your mole! Don't say mole.
Stop.
Austin
I said mole.
Stop!
Mole
Bye.
Austin
Mole.
Austin
(Basil and the Mole walk to the elevator.)
Mo-ole... (Basil raises index finger, face indicating "that's enough.") Mole!
Basil
(irritated)
Oh, shut up!
Austin
Moley-moley-moley-moley-moley!
Would you like a smoke and a pancake?
Austin
... What?
A smoke and a pancake. You know, a flapjack and a cigarette? No?
Austin
[shakes head]
Cigar and a waffle? No?
Austin
[shakes head]
Pipe and a crepe? No?
Austin
[shakes head]
Bong and a blintz?
Austin and Nigel
No.
Well, then there ish no pleashing you.
Austin
That's not right.
Mr. Roboto [{}=Japanese translations]
{I am president of Roboto Industries. My name is Mr. Roboto.}
Austin Powers
Domo arigato, Mr.Roboto. {Thank you, Mr. Roboto} [to audience] I thank you.
{Thank you for seeing us on such short notice.}
Austin Powers
[to Foxxy]
You speak Japanese?
A little.
Austin Powers
Well, you might be a cunning linguist but I'm a master debater. [Both laugh, then, seriously, to Mr. Roboto] I'm looking for my father. He was kidnapped.
Mr. Roboto {Please eat some shit.}
Austin Powers
Please eat what?!
Wait. [Removes white cups revealing rest of subtitle] He said "Please eat some shitake mushrooms."
Austin Powers
Tell me. What do you know ... about my father's where...about...s?
Mr. Roboto Hm. [Walks over to bookcase which contains white books] {Your ass is happy.}
Austin Powers
"Your ass is happy?!"
No. [Pulls down a bookcase cover] He said "Your assignment is an unhappy one."
Austin Powers
Oh!
Mr. Roboto [to Japanese woman dressed in white]
{I have a large rod.} [Japanese woman gasps]
Austin Powers
Nice potty-mouth, dirt bag!
Mr. Roboto [Repeats line and moves away from woman, revealing I have a large rodent problem.]
Austin Powers
Oh.
Mr. Roboto {A little off the topic but unfortunate nonetheless.}
Austin Powers
Yes. Very off-topic, thank you very much.
Mr. Roboto Why don't I just speak in English?
Austin Powers
That would be a good idea now wouldn't it? That way, I wouldn't misread the subtitles, making it look like you're saying things that are dirty. [smiles]
Austin Powers
[Later]
By the way, {I do have a large rod...I wish.}
Austin Powers
[Confused]
Yes, squid pro row.
Austin Powers
Mole!
Basil Exposition
Oh, shut up!
Austin Powers
[As Basil and the Mole walk out]
Moley, moley, moley, moley, moley!
Austin
Listen, dad, if you are are going to say naughty things in front of these American girls then at least speak English English.
[Nigel looks back at girls]
All right, my son: I could've had it away with this cracking Julie, my old China. (Subtitle: I was about to make love to this pretty girl.)
Austin
Are you telling a bunch pork-pies and a bag of trout? Because if you are feeling quigly, why not just have a J. Arthur? (Is this true? If you were aroused, why didn't you pleasure yourself?)
What, billy no mates? (What, alone?)
Austin
Too right, youth. (Indeed.)
Don't you remember the crimbo din-din we had with the grotty Scots bint? (Remember Christmas dinner with the Scottish girl?)
Austin
Oh, the one that was all sixes and sevens! (The insane one?)
Yeah, yeah, she was the trouble and strife of the Morris dancer what lived up the apples and pears! (She was the wife of the dancer who lived upstairs.)
Austin
She was the barrister what become a bobby in a lorry and... (A lawyer who became a policeman in a truck) [complete gibberish] (????????)...
Austin & Nigel
--tea kettle!
And then, and then--
Austin & Nigel
She shat on a turtle!
Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H!!
Scott laughs.
What?
Scott Why don't you just call it Operation Ass Cream, ass?
I-I'm sorry, did you want some ice cream?
Scott Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass cream.
Perhaps later.
Number Two Dr. Evil, I love your plan.
Yah, eh?
Frau
Ja, Doctor. It's a really good plan.
Yes Frau, on the whole, I think Preparation H feels good.
Scott starts chuckling uncontrollably.
Scott No, nothin'. You know what, I agree. Preparation H does feel good...on the hole.
Well, I'm glad were sprechen sie the same lingidy... yah. Ladies and Gentlemen, using my time machine, I shall travel back to 1975, pick up Goldmember, and bring him back to the future. And the best part of the plan is, no one can stop me...not even... Austin Powers. Muh-huh-huh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Others (except Scott) Huh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Austin Powers
Not so fast.
Several British SAS forces storm the room.
Austin Powers
You're surrounded, Dr. Evil.
Shit.
From the Movie Austinpussy:
Austin (Tom Cruise) Yeah Baby!
Dixie (Gwyneth Paltrow) Hi I'm Dixie, Dixie Normous. I may just be a small town FBI agent slash single mother, but I'm still tough, and sexy.
Austin (Tom Cruise) Well Miss Normous, shall we shag now, or shag later?
Dixie (Gwyneth Paltrow) Oh Austin, Behave!
Dr. Evil (Kevin Spacey)
Hey, Powers! You better watch your frigging self because this is one doctor who does make house-calls. Right, mini-me?
Mini-me (Danny Devito) Hey, assholes! I'm right over here! I'm Mini-me! Come and get me! (fires an automatic assault rifle in the air)
Hah-hey, assholes! Do I have time for a last shmoke and a pancake or what? I am from Holland, isn't that a we-e-eird?
Basil
[Basil brings in three sailors]
Austin, these men were assigned to guard your father. [to the sailors] Okay, chaps. Chins up, trousers down. [to Austin] I think we may have found a clue.
Austin
[The sailors pull down their pants, and Austin is shocked to see what they have exposed]
Cor blimey! All your privates have had their privates painted gold! How bizarre! Imagine, gilded tally-whackers, golden wedding tackle, 14-karat trouser snakes.
Basil
That's enough.
Austin
Okay. Basil, there's only one person in the world who truly understands the psychology of a madman.
Austin and Basil
[look at the camera]
Dr. Evil.
Austin
You're insane, Goldmember.
And that's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it. [mutters] KC and the Sunshine Band.
[Foxxy rolls her eyes in annoyance]
All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.
[insulted]
What? Take the fahza away! [the girls grab Nigel] Dutch hater. And now, it is time to say goodbye. Dr. Evil's orders. Which, for you, is Bad News Bears. [mutters] Walter Matthau.
Austin
[gets off the basket, feeling disgusted with dirty sumo diapers, accidentally reveals himself]
You really are a Fat Bastard!
You know, that hurts my feelings. I tried going on a diet. "The Zone", you know, "carbs are the enemy, and... [mumbles; notices Foxxy] Hey, who's your friend? Oh, I'd like to have a go with that filly. Do you find me sexy? [rubs his breasts erotically] Oh look at my titties! [moans]
Well to be honest with you, I've been trying to go legit. I really take my sumo wrestling seriously, you know. But when you're an overweight child, in a society that demands perfection, your sense of right and wrong, fair and unfair, will always be tragically skewed. [beat; farts]
Austin
Did you just soil yourself?!
Maybe. It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh heh heh. Let's have a smell, all right? Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Alright, analysis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Oh that could gag a maggot! I smell like hot sick ass in a dead carcass! Ooh, even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!
[Mini-Me writes a note and gives it to Foxxy] [reads]
"Are you a clone of an angel?" Ohhh how sweet. No, my mini-man, I'm not. [Mini-Me hands her another note] "Are you sure you don't have a little clone in you?" Yes, I'm sure. [Mini-Me hands het the last note] "Would you like to?"
Austin
[Both Austin and Mini-Me laugh it off] [but stops and sees Foxxy's reaction]
That is so not funny.
Austin
[Austin falls and accidentally pulls Dr. Evil's pants, which reveals his butt with the tattoo on it]
You know, Dr. Evil, most people think you were crazy.
I know.
Austin
Now I can see you're nuts. [to the camera] I thank you. [smiles]
Austin
Fat Bastard? But you're not fat anymore.
I went on the Subway diet. Y'know, just like Jared. I've lost 180 pounds.
Austin
Congratulations, baby.
Thank you. I do have a little bit of excess skin, though. Bit of a problem here, you know. And unfortunately, my neck does look like a vagina.