Nigel Powers Only a bloody Dutchman!
Tied for 5th most-quoted character in Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002): in 11 of its 85 quotes
Most scenes with: Goldmember (3), Austin Powers (2)
There's only two things I can't stand in this world. Those who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.
More lines from Nigel Powers
5 quotes Nigel Powers Nigel Powers Nigel: Do you know who I am?
Nigel Powers Henchman: [nods]
Nigel: Have you got any idea how many anonymous henchmen I've killed over the years?
Henchman: [nods again]
Nigel: I mean, look at you. You don't even have a name tag. You've got no chance. Why don't you just fall down?Go on son.
[henchman falls down] If you've got an issue, here's your tissue.
Nigel Powers Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
Nigel Powers [to Mini-Me about having large penis]
My God, you're a tripod!
Scenes with Nigel Powers
5 scenes
Dr. Evil, we have the ultimate insurance policy; may I present to you, the very sexual, the very toit, Austin Power's fahza!
His what?
Number 2
His fazha, Dr. Evil.
His farjer?
Number 2
[nods]
What's farjer?
His fazha, ya know the fazha!
Yeah, Goldmember, I don't speak freaky-deaky Dutch, OK, perv-boy.
Fazha, his dad--dad is fazha.
Oh, his dad. Oh, his father.
Yes, I have a Dutch accent, isn't that weird?
Fat-ther, Fat-ther. Ah, Nigel Powers.
Nigel Powers Hello, hello. (slaps Frau on her rear) Ha-ha-ha!
Bring him to me.
Nigel Powers Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy. Oh, put the guns down. Is-is this the first day on the job or something? Look, this is how it goes, you attack me, one at a time, and I knock you out with a single punch. Okay? Go.
Nigel Powers (to third guard)
Do you know who I am? Have you any idea how many anonymous henchmen I've killed over the years? And look at you, you haven't even got a name tag. (laughing) You got no chance. Why don't you just fall down?
Nigel Powers (The guard complies.)
All right, Dr. Evil, give yourself up while you still got a chance. (handgun chambers behind Nigel) Okay, okay, you got me.
Nigel Powers, I'd like you to meet Mini-me.
Nigel Powers Oh, blimey! (looks down at Mini-me) I thought I smelled cabbage.
Take him away!
Uh-uh, Dr. Evil, can I paint his yoo-hoo go-o-l-l-l-d? It's kind of my thing, ya know?
(Dr. Evil pilots his chair over to Goldmember, and swivels it to look at Goldmember.)
How 'bout no, you crazy Dutch bastard!
Listen, dad, if you are are going to say naughty things in front of these American girls then at least speak English English.
Nigel [Nigel looks back at girls]
All right, my son: I could've had it away with this cracking Julie, my old China. (Subtitle: I was about to make love to this pretty girl.)
Are you telling a bunch pork-pies and a bag of trout? Because if you are feeling quigly, why not just have a J. Arthur? (Is this true? If you were aroused, why didn't you pleasure yourself?)
Nigel What, billy no mates? (What, alone?)
Too right, youth. (Indeed.)
Nigel Don't you remember the crimbo din-din we had with the grotty Scots bint? (Remember Christmas dinner with the Scottish girl?)
Oh, the one that was all sixes and sevens! (The insane one?)
Nigel Yeah, yeah, she was the trouble and strife of the Morris dancer what lived up the apples and pears! (She was the wife of the dancer who lived upstairs.)
She was the barrister what become a bobby in a lorry and... (A lawyer who became a policeman in a truck) [complete gibberish] (????????)...
--tea kettle!
Nigel And then, and then--
She shat on a turtle!
Not so fast, shmarty-pants. Dr. Evil, you might not want to deschtroy the world, but I dooooooo... Preparation H goes ahead as planned. I'm going to flood the Earth!
Think again, Goldmember.
Ahh, Foxxy Cleopatra; it is a shame I had to kill your partner. Too bad for you-u-u!
Too bad for me? How about too bad for you (holds the gold tractor beam key over the shark tank which has sharks with lasers on their frickin' heads).
(Foxxy drops the key into the tank.)
No-ho-ho! No-ho-ho-ho! (composes himself) Luckily, I keep a spare.
(Goldmember turns around and removes his genitals with a lot of racheting and twisting.)
Look everyone, my winky was a key!
Nigel Powers (in contempt)
Only a bloody Dutchman!
You're insane, Goldmember.
And that's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it. [mutters] KC and the Sunshine Band.
Nigel [Foxxy rolls her eyes in annoyance]
All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this world: people who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.
[insulted]
What? Take the fahza away! [the girls grab Nigel] Dutch hater. And now, it is time to say goodbye. Dr. Evil's orders. Which, for you, is Bad News Bears. [mutters] Walter Matthau.
Nigel [to Mini-Me]
So, little fella, I'm curious. Is everything in proportion? [Mini-Me nods unsure] You know, your bobby dangler, giggle stick, your general-two-colonels, master of ceremonies...Yeah, don't be shy, let's have a look. [Mini-Me unzips his pants] My lord! You're a tripod. What you been feeding that thing, eh? It looks like a baby's arm holding an apple. Good thing is, if you ever get tired, you can use it as a kickstand!
[Mini-Me nods, smiling]
Other characters in Austin Powers in Goldmember
More Michael Caine characters
Finn McMissile
Peachy Carnehan
Jack Carter
Victor Melling
Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead
Dr. Royer-Collard
Alfred Pennyworth
Mike the Bartender