Paul Giamatti movie quotes

View Quote Grow up Shepherd! This is Hollywood baby. It's a dog-eat-dog town. Worse. We got cats eatin' cats. We got fish munchin' fish. We play by our own rules.

View Quote Hey, where do you think you're going? YOU CANNOT TURN YOUR BACKS ON ME! I'M MARTY WOLF! All right, fine! FINE! YOU'RE ALL FIRED!

View Quote [After picking up his stuffed monkey while dancing to "Hungry Like the Wolf" by Duran Duran.] Let's dance, Funnybones!

View Quote Hardy, I have known you since you were a boy, so I think I have the requisite experience and insight to aver that you are and always have been penis cancer in human form.

View Quote You know, Mr. Kountze, for most people, life is like a henhouse ladder: shitty and short. You were born lucky. Maybe someday, you entitled little degenerates will appreciate that. If you don't, I feel sorry for you and we will have failed to do our jobs.

View Quote Paul Hunham: [remembering Mary's son] He was a great kid. I had him one semester. Very insightful.
Mary Lamb: Mm-hmm. He hated you. He said you were a real asshole.
Paul Hunham: Well, uh, like I said... sharp kid, insightful.

View Quote I think you're someone very important to everyone.

View Quote I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. Oh, I should have been there, I am always going to regret — just not being there. I miss your faces — how they remind me of God. I'm so lost without you guys. I met this very nice lady, and her name is Story. I think you would have liked her. I think she might be... an Angel, because she has to go home. I love you all, I love you all so much.

View Quote Here's the good stuff. There are humans with powers that can help her. These people have been unconsciously drawn to live by the Vessel. These humans don't know who they are.

View Quote I was just remembering a limerick. "There once was a woman who was quite begat. She had three babies named Nat, Pat, and Tat. She said it was fun in the breeding, but found it was hell in the feeding when she saw there was no tit for Tat." You have caused me no end of trouble, but now I shall return the favor. Tit for tat, right?

View Quote (upon seeing he ran over a robotic decoy of Oliver) What in the hell is that? Oh, my God, that is twisted. That sick son of a bitch. That sick son of a bitch suckered us again!

View Quote (On a cell phone, while aiming a gun at Smith) I can't talk right now, honey. I'm right in the middle of something.

View Quote You are the Mother-**** Antichrist!

View Quote Howard Stern can kiss my ass in hell!

View Quote This little puppy's finally gonna get housebroken.

View Quote All right, get 'em out and get 'em clean! Chop chop!

View Quote How many times do I have to tell you? Wear your gloves when you handle humans!

View Quote The young ones make wonderful pets! But be sure you get rid of it by puberty. The one thing you don't want in your house is a human teenager.

View Quote Is that morphine in there? God, beats the hell out of aspirin.

View Quote I'm a married man, I'm not used to this much attention.

View Quote [on the phone] Yeah, he knows what he's doing. [faces Malcolm immediately afterwards] What the hell are you doing?

View Quote [to the policemen] You can't come down here and harass these guys because they're black! people have rights!

View Quote Let me tell you what I see here: a lot of raw talent. Swagger. Bravado. People are scared of you guys. They think you're dangerous, but the world needs to hear it.

View Quote Jerry Heller: What's NWA stand for, anyway? "No Whites Allowed", something like that? [chuckles]
Eazy-E: No... [pause] ****z Wit' Attitudes.

View Quote Serena: Are you saying you think the whole San Andreas fault might go off?
Hayes: Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying.
Phoebe: Who should we call?
Hayes: Everybody.

View Quote The earthquake that they felt was from movement along the fault line in the Central Valley; their end of the fault line has not moved yet. More importantly, people need to know that the shaking is not over, and it's not aftershocks I'm talking about. San Francisco is going to get hit again, and it's going to be a bigger monster this time - our models are predicting a 9.5 or greater. It will be so big, that even though it's happening here in California, you will feel it on the East Coast. [looking directly into the zooming camera] Now I cannot emphasize this enough to the people of San Francisco: You need to get out. And I mean now. And if you can't, you need to find any means possible to drop, cover, and hold on. Because your life is gonna depend on it. God be with you.

View Quote Hayes: Come on, I need everybody! [runs with Serena, Alexi and Phoebe]
Serena: What are we doing?
Hayes: Getting you on the air. We need to warn people.
Serena: How? There's no way to upload a signal!
Hayes: [chuckles] You're at Caltech.
[they reach the university's media room]
Hayes: Okay, who wants an "A" in Independent Study? I'm starting a new class: "How to Save Lives by Hacking Media Outlets".
Student #2: Hell, yeah, man, I'm in.
Hayes: Sweet, bro. Get your laptop, let's go.

View Quote If anyone orders Merlot I am leaving. I am not drinking **** Merlot!

View Quote It tastes like the back of a **** L.A. school bus. Now they probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, and then wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine bullshit.

View Quote I feel like a thumbprint on the skyscraper of life.

View Quote Blaine: [sighs] John Dolittle. Who would have ever thought would you end up in a mental institution? Number one in our medical school class. Not that I'm jealous, John. Sometimes had to finish first.
John: And someone had to finish last, too.
Blaine: So, John. You talk to animals now, do you? Would you like to tell me about it? Or would you rather tell my friend here, Bethlehem?
John: I don't need to talk to your cat, Blain.
Blaine: Why, do you think he would talk back to you?
John: You know, he just might.
Blaine: And what would he say?
Bethlehem: I'd say you were a butthead.
John: [chuckles] I really like this cat.

View Quote John: Now, what is all this?
Blaine: This is to prove to me and the rest of world that you can actually talk to animals. Now, the orangutan is attached to this brain wave monitor. Normally, he responds to visual stimulation, but since you have got the gift of gab, you won't need pictures to make him respond, will you? Get acquainted, John.
John: Okay, listen. I need your help. I need you to make that needle over there move cause if you don't, they'll gonna make me stay here forever. Okay? So just make the little needle jump. Come on. I know you can hear me now, so don't play. This is very serious right now.
Blaine: I guess he's just not a big talker, John.
John: Look, give me a break. Say something, please.
Blaine: Please escort Dr. Dolittle back to his room.
Orangutan: Adios. Muchas gracias por nana.
John: Wait a minute. You speak Spanish?
Orangutan: Yo, hablo, tu hablas...
John: That's why he couldn't understand him. You're slick getting a monkey from south of the border.
Blaine: Remove him. Go.
John: Turn that machine back on. Me llamo es--
Man: I said, let's go.
John: Me llamo es--
Blaine: Spanish. My God.
Man: Come on.
Orangutan: ¿Tu conoces Will Smith?

View Quote John: Okay, Blain, look. I wanna go home.
Blaine: Oh, so soon? And miss the field trip to the zoo?
John: Listen. I know you're always hated me since medical school, but we are both adults now. Let's put that behind us. We both have families. I want to get back to my family. How do I do that?
Blaine: Well, it's very simple. Stop talking to animals, John. Simple.
John: All right, listen. You're right. I made a mistake. Maybe it was a case of temporary insanity, maybe I was working too hard. Whatever it's over. I don't talk to animals any more.
Blaine: I'm not convinced. We'll talk again in a month or so, okay?
John: Tell you what, Blain. You sign my release form and I won't tell our fellow doctor friends about that little pink tutu you keep in your closet with the thong back.
Blaine: Oh.
Bettelheim: Heh heh heh heh heh heh.
[John chuckles]

View Quote Bob: Absolutely nothing...look, stay here and you rise and when you're on top the sky is the limit and then you can **** with their heads.

View Quote Bob: 40 million people are watching your ass every week, KAUFMAN.

View Quote Bob: What?

View Quote Tim: I'm on the list! Don't you know who I am?!

View Quote [Rodney has just arrived at Bigweld Industries; he stares at the front gate in awe]
Tim: Yoo-hoo! Excuse me! Can I help you?
Rodney: Sorry, I... hey! You're Tim from the TV show!
Tim: That's me!
Rodney: Well, hey, Tim. Who closed the gate? It's never supposed to be-
Tim: Yeah, okay. What do you want?
Rodney: Hm? Oh. I'd like to see Mr. Bigweld. I'm an inventor. [he quickly shows Wonderbot to Tim]
Tim: Well, why didn't you say so? Stand back.
[Tim opens the gate; Rodney stares in amazement at what he sees]
Rodney: Thanks. [he starts to go in, but the door suddenly closes] WHAT?!
Tim: [laughing] I gotcha! Y'see, because you were all excited, and then BOOM! [laughs again; Rodney glares] Alright, I had my laugh. Go on in.
Rodney: [resuming his entry before the door closes again] Whoa... hey!
Tim: [laughing hysterically] Now, that's funny! A second time! What?! You really think I'm gonna let you in! [laughs] Well, I'm not! Sorry, kid. Nobody gets in. Company rules.
Rodney: Company ru...? Well, then how do they hire new inventors?
Tim: They don't. Those days are over. My advice... hmm, come back two years ago, then the job is yours. [laughs hysterically]
[cut to Bigweld Industries, as the camera zooms in on the building]
Rodney: [off-screen] I'll get to the bottom of this.

View Quote [Rodney and Fender arrive at the Bigweld Ball disguised as rich robots]
Tim: Uh, can I help you?
Fender: [Spanish accent] I think you maybe-a can. [gestures to Rodney] This is-a Count Roderic Von Brokenzipper! Formerly Count Velcro.
Tim: Uh, the...
Fender: Where are the trumpets?!
Tim: The, the, uh...
Fender: We were promised trumpets to announce the Count's arrival! [to Rodney] I'm sorry, Your Grace: Beat me until you're happy. [Rodney slaps Fender across the face] He's happy. And I'm not feeling too bad myself.
Tim: Ahem. Let me see, uh... You're not on the list.
Fender: We're what?! Once again. [Rodney slaps Fender again] Ow! Thank you. [to Tim] Fine! We will go! You will explain to your superiors why we were not able to attend your little luau, your barn dance, whatever it is! But we're leaving! In a huff! [he and Rodney prepare to leave]
Tim: No, no! No, no. Please, go right in. In fact, would the Count like to hit me?
Fender: The Count hit you? The arrogance of some people. I will hit you on his behalf. [smacks Tim off his booth]
Tim: Thank you, Your Grace.

View Quote Ralph: I got a kid.
P.L. Travers: Most people do.
Ralph: Jane. Yeah. Yeah. What a terrific kid. Beautiful little girl. She's got a lot of problems, though. She's handicapped, you know? She's in a wheelchair. See, and that's why I concern myself with the weather so much. Sunny day, she can sit outside in the garden. Rainy day, I gotta leave her cooped up inside. I worry about the future, but you can't do that. Only today.
P.L. Travers: Mmm.

View Quote Ralph: Hey, sun came out again.
P.L. Travers: You say it as if you're surprised. As if the sun were particular about for whom it appears. It seems that you think that I am responsible for its miraculous dawning every day. For heaven's sake, it's California.
Ralph: Certainly is.
P.L. Travers: I'd so much rather be accountable for the rain.
Ralph: Oh, that's sad.
P.L. Travers: Sad is entirely the wrong emotion. I shan't bother explaining why. It would just... zip!
Ralph: Okey dokey.
P.L. Travers: The rain brings life.
Ralph: So does the sun.
P.L. Travers: [looks at Ralph] Be quiet.
Ralph: Yes, ma'am.

View Quote Ralph: It's been a real pleasure driving you, Mrs. Travers.
P.L. Travers: No one likes a fibber.
Ralph: Oh, no, no. I really have enjoyed it. I didn't know who you were at first. And then, guess what?
P.L. Travers: You found out?
Ralph: Well, I was telling my daughter all about my day and how I'm driving this nice writer lady, Mrs. Travers, for Mr. Disney, and, uh...
P.L. Travers: And?
Ralph: And... [fetches a copy of Mary Poppins from the car] ...she made me go to her bedroom and bring her this. I can't stop reading it, you know. I'm very slow, mind you, so...
P.L. Travers: Would you like me to sign it?
Ralph: Would you?
P.L. Travers: I'd be honored. [taking the book] Let me see, now. [writing] "To Jane, and her dearest father..." I've just this moment realized I don't know your name.
Ralph: Ralph.
P.L. Travers: Pamela. You're the only American I've ever liked, Ralph. [finishes signing]
Ralph: Oh...Well, may I ask why?
P.L. Travers: No. [hands him back the book] Now, take this. [hands him a sheet of paper]
Ralph: [reading] Albert Einstein, van Gogh, Roosevelt, Frida Kaylo-
P.L. Travers: Kahlo.
Ralph: Kahlo? What is this?
P.L. Travers: They all had difficulties. Jane can do anything that anyone else can do. Do you understand? [Ralph smiles and nods and she starts to walk away] Oh, I almost forgot. Turn it around.
Ralph: Walt Disney.
P.L. Travers: Hyperactive behavior and deficiencies in concentration. It explains everything.
Ralph: Thank you, Mrs. Travers.

View Quote Say hello to Aleksei Sytsevich!

View Quote [as the Rhino] I am the Rhino! I told you I would be back!

View Quote [last lines; after Spider-Man makes his return to confront Aleksei Sytsevich, who is rampaging New York as the Rhino]
Aleksei/Rhino: You fight me? You fight me now? Huh?
Spider-Man: On behalf of the fine people of New York City and real rhinos everywhere, I ask you to put your mechanized paws in the air.
Rhino: NEVER! I crush you, I kill you! I destroy you!
Spider-Man: You want me to come down there so you can kill me?
Rhino: Yes!
Spider-Man: I'll be right there. [Sighs contently] There's no place like home.
[Spider-Man then swings on by to fight the Rhino, thus continuing his never-ending destiny of being New York's hero, and ending The Amazing Spider-Man films]

View Quote All the reporters love you. Even the reporters that hate you still love you.

View Quote Tom Duffy: Get out, now. Or otherwise...
Stephen Meyers: Otherwise, I'll end up like you?
Tom Duffy: Yeah, you end up being a jaded, cynical asshole, just like me.

View Quote "Enjoy your world that's entirely bug-free! Just sign right here and leave the killing to me!" I wrote that.