Bad Bill
[he and his gang fire their guns at a citizen]
DANCE FOR ME, SOD BUSTER!!
K Kinski
DANCE LIKE A CHICKEN!!
C Chorizo
THAT'S RIGHT, DANCE!!
Bad Bill
YOU GOT CORN IN YOUR EARS, MATE?! YOU DON'T PAY THE MORTGAGE, YOU DON'T OWN THE LAND!
K Kinski
That's basic real estate law, my friend!
Bad Bill
[points a dagger at Sod Buster]
If I see your face in this town again, I'm gonna slice it off and use it to wipe my unmentionables.
Bad Bill
[kicks Sod Buster out of the saloon]
AND DON'T COME BACK! [turns to see everyone looking] What are you all gawping at?
Waffles
[Everyone backs up nervously, Bad Bill sniffs walks to the bar.]
Hey, Bad Bill, there's something I want to tell--!
Bad Bill
[Bad Bill muffles Waffles' mouth and stops at the bar, where he sees Rango next to him.]
Oy. What is this?
S Spoons
You know who that is, Bill? That there's Rango.
Waffles
Yeah, he ain't afraid of you. He ain't afraid of none of you.
L Lenny
Killed them Jenkins brothers.
M Melonee
Done it with one bullet, Bill.
H Hitch
All seven of them.
Bad Bill
Is that right?
[Bad Bill takes a cigar from Buford's mouth and takes a drag, blowing smoke in Buford's face. Rango coughs as a result, and Bad Bill then shoves a cigar in front of Rango's face. Acting quickly, Rango snatches the cigar from Bad Bill's mouth, examines it for a moment, and then swallows it. Everyone gasps in surprise. Rango taps his finger on the bar counter, prompting Buford to pour him a shot, which he drinks in one gulp. Then, he unexpectedly belches fire directly into Bad Bill's face, leaving everyone in shock. Bad Bill exclaims in anger and glares at Rango, his face still smouldering. He grabs a towel to try to put out the flames.]
Rango
Um... let me get that... yeah... Oh, I know. Here. [splashes some cactus juice on his face to put out much of the fire, sees one tiny remaining flame] Oh, here, let me get that for you. [wipes the tiny flame out with the towel] There, all better.
[Bad Bill gets the gun out and pushes it to him on the counter. Rango looks at Bad Bill with his idea.]
Mayor
[extended version; After Rango leaves the Mayor's office.]
It's almost noon. Is everything ready?
Bad Bill
Yeah, but he might be a problem.
Mayor
He's not a problem, William. He's a solution. [snickers]
Rango
[Rango is playing golf with the mayor]
Sumthin' you said keeps rattlin' around in my frontal lobe.
Mayor
And what is that?
Rango
"Control the water, and you control everything."
Mayor
[chuckles]
Come now, Mr. Rango. You tribute divine power to me. How on earth could I possibly control the water?
Rango
You've obviously mastered this game.
Mayor
Well, I've been playing it for many years, sir. I was here before the highway split this great valley. I watched the march of progress, and I learned a thing or two. Perhaps it's time you started to take the long view, begin to appreciate the broad sweep of history. Look out there, son. You can almost see time passing.
Rango
[Rango looks through a telescope and sees gophers doing construction]
What are you building out here?
Mayor
The future, Mr. Rango. The future. One day soon, all this will fade into myth. The frontier town, the lawman, the gunslinger. There's no place for them anymore. We're civilized now.
Bad Bill
That's right, civilized.
Mayor
That's what the future holds. You can either be part of it, or you can be left behind.
Rango
Is that what happened to Mr. Merrimack? Did he get left behind?
Mayor
Careful, Mr. Rango. You seem to forget you're just one little lizard.
Rango
You seem to forget I'm the law around these parts. [walks away]
Mayor
Our new Sheriff has been playing the hero for so long, he’s actually starting to believe it. Call in Rattlesnake Jake.
Bad Bill
Uh… Jake’s the Grim Reaper. He never leaves without takin’ a blimin’ soul.
Mayor
DO IT!
