Rattlesnake Jake [to Rango]
Hello, "brother". Thirsty? [fills glass with venom and throws it to the ground] Long time, "brother". How you been keepin'?
Oh, well, you know– [Jake quiets him with a loud hiss]
Jake I hear you been tellin' about how you killed all them Jenkins brothers. With one bullet, weren't it? [chuckles] Ain't that right? All these good folks here believe your little stories, don't they? Why, they believe you're just a stone killer, don't they? Seems these folks trust you. They think you're gonna save their little town. They think you're gonna save their little souls! But we know better, don't we? [turns to Beans and licks her cheek before turning back to Rango] So why don't you show your friends what you're made of? Show 'em who you really are? [pulls out gun] Why don't you just pull your gun and shoot me? [empties out most of the bullets] But of course, you won't need all of these. Just one, right? [gives Rango the gun and points it in his face] Go head, hero. Pull the trigger. [Rango doesn't shoot] You got killer in your eyes, son? ... I don't see it. [Rango lowers his gun] You didn't do any of them things you said, did you? You didn't kill them Jenkins Brothers. You ain't even from the West, are you?! [Rango doesn't speak] Say it!
Jake Oh, speak up! I don't think your friends here heard you.
Jake All you've done is lie to these good people. You ain't nothing but a fake and a coward. Ain't that right?
Jake LOUDER!
Jake [the townsfolk, alongside Beans, stare at Rango in disbelief.] [slithers around Rango]
Listen close, you pathetic fraud. This is my town now. If I ever see you again, I will take your soul straight down to HELL! [grabs Rango and drops him to his knees]
[Rango stands up and looks at the scornful citizens who felt lied to. He then begins to leave.] Beans [to Rango, puzzled.] Who are you?
[Rango silently walks away. The Mariachi Owls watch Rango walking sadly.]
I appreciate how difficult this is for you, Beans, but you're making a practical decision.
Jake Decisions, decisions.
There's no need for any more suffering. [drinks from his glass of water] Your family's ranch is nothing but a wasteland now. Sign the deed, and relieve yourself of your father's burden.
[Looks ready to drink from her glass, but then becomes angry]
My daddy was not a burden! [throws the water in the Mayor's face] Keep your blood money and I'll keep my land!
Jake [the Mayor's face twitches; on cue, Rattlesnake Jake darts forward and traps Beans in his coils]
Do what he says, or by all the fires of the black pit, I'll squeeze them pretty brown eyes outta your skull!
Now, hold on, Jake, there's no need to–
Jake [interrupts the Mayor by bringing his head down to the Mayor's desk]
LET ME DO MY JOB! You brought me in, now we're gonna play this thing out to the end! [Turns back to Beans] Sign the damn paper, woman!
Jake Where do you think I come from? Look into my eyes. I wanna see you die. [Brings his fangs closer to Beans, until he hears Rango shouting from outside]
JAKE! I'M CALLIN' YOU OUT! JAKE!
Jake [moving to the window and seeing Rango]
This day just got a little more interestin'...
Jake [After the water bursts into Dirt]
I'm gonna blow so many holes in you, your guts'll be leakin' lead!
Then it's a good thing I bought some backup.
Jake [a hawk flies overhead. Jake sees it and hides, then notices something amiss.]
What? [sees that the "hawk" was really a flock of bats flying in formation] Ain't no hawk! Ain't nothing but bats! [goes out in the open and shoots at them]
M Maybelle
Stick to the plan, boys! Let's bleed the devil dry!
[the flock spreads out. Jake shoots and laughs madly until he runs out of ammo. He turns to see Rango aiming his gun at him]
It only takes one bullet.
Jake You ain't got the nerve...
[Jake looks in his eyes and is stunned, realizing Rango is dead serious]
Oh, Mr. Rango. Aren't you forgetting something?
[they take Beans into the Bank of Dirt]
Hand me your gun, Sheriff! [He pauses as he looks at his gun] Now, Mr. Rango!
[Rango slowly walks to Mayor]
[the Mayor's goons lock Rango and Beans in the flooding bank vault]
Beans! Hold on! Don't worry! I got a plan! [to the vault door] HEEELLLLLLP! [bangs on the door] OPEN THE DOOR! Okay, Plan B! [Beans mumbles] What?! Beans, you're mumblin'!
[outside the vault door]
All my problems taken care of... except for one. [aims Rango's gun at Jake]
Jake [shocked]
What?
It's a new West, Jake. There's no room for gunslingers anymore. We're businessmen now.
S Stump
We've got new hats! [points to his bowler hat]
[meanwhile, inside the vault] [holding his only bullet]
Where I come from, we call this... [puts the bullet in his mouth] improvisation. [unties the gag from Beans]
You came back! [kisses Rango on the lips but then accidentally swallows the bullet and chokes] What was that?!
No need to panic, but I think you just swallowed Plan B.
What?! [freezes in trance and sinks into the water]
[back outside]
You and the sheriff are more alike than you think. You're nothing but legends. Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed. [inside the vault, Rango attempts to hiemleck the bullet out of Beans] One last bullet to kill one last outlaw. [Jake angrily glares at him] How fitting. [pulls the trigger but nothing happens] What?
[Rango manages to make Beans spit out the bullet onto the vault door with a enough force to make it crack; everyone outside sees the vault door cracking just as it shatters and floods the room]
[After Rango and Beans are freed from the bank vault by a single bullet]
Now, Sheriff. I'm sure if we work together, we can reach a mutually beneficial solution to our current situation…
You better take it up with him.
Jake One bullet. [Turns to Rango and tips his hat at him] I tip my hat to you. One legend to another. [Rango tips his hat as well. Mayor whimpers helplessly as Jake turns to him.] What was that you said? "Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed..." [lunges]
No, Jake! No! NOOO!!!
[Jake grabs the screaming Mayor in his coils and drags him away into the desert]
