[And in the meantime, at the beach, Alex makes the sign of "Help!", waiting for the boat that was hijacked by the penguins. And Marty tries to cheer up Alex with an apology]
Yo, Al. Melman and Gloria are over there having a good time. There's room on the fun side for one more.
Look, I've been thinking. Maybe if you gave this place a chance, I don't know, you might even enjoy yourself.
Marty, I'm tired. I'm hungry. I just want to go home.
Could you just give it a chance? Think about it. It really isn't the fun side without you. [Leaves away from Alex, The P breaks and falls apart, which now says "Hell".]
[Cut to black of the next morning]
Wake up, Mr. Alex. Wake up, Mr. Alex. Rise and shining. Wakey-waking, Mr. Alex! [Loudly] WAKE UP!!!! ALEX!!!!! [Alex muffled gasp] You suck your thumb?
ES Everyone (sans Alex)
AHH!!!
[Shocked, the zoo animals get up.]
Where are we? What the heck is going on?
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't be alarmed, giant freaks! While you were asleep, we simply took you to our little corner of heaven. Welcome to Madagascar.
[The zoo animals stare from the open view of Madagascar.]
Marty. It's...
It's just like my mural back at the zoo.
Oh, no, fella, that is the real deal right there.
Look at that, that's not a bad view.
I mean, that's the thing that you were always looking at, but it's actually there. I mean, that's like the real version of your...
Hey, how about once around the park? Let's get our blood pumping, get those lungs breathing all this fresh air! Who's with me?!
Ah, naw. I really, I don't think I could... You're it!
Hey! Want to play around? Ho! Hey!
[Chuckles, while riding on Marty's back]
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, stop that! Hey, you’re crazy!
OK, Marty, I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. You win. [Groans in exhaustion]
Come on, Alex, get in the groove.
I haven't eaten in two days. My blood sugar's real low. I just don't have the energy.
I don't think that's your problem. First of all, that's not how you run in the wild. Let's go, man. Put the rubber to the road! You just have to let out that inner lion. Now, who's the cat?
You are; that's who. Come on! Here we go! That's it. Now let's build up some steam!
Alright.
Marty You the cat.
[Marty went up ahead whooping as Alex kept repeating "Who's the cat?" over and over again. His eyes lean close to Marty, and his eyes dilate.]
I'M THE CAT!!
[Marty sprints through the gorgeous landscape, elation on his face. He's running just like he did in his fantasy back at the zoo. Behind him, Alex catches up and zooms past Marty with blazing speed.]
Surprise!
[Marty crashes to Alex until they both tumble to a stop. Alex pops to his feet adrenaline surging.]
Hoo! You're it! You're it! Can't juke the cat. Cat's too quick! Whoo! Hoo-ha! Ooh, yeah! Hoo-ha! I feel like a mile-high pastrami on rye on the fly from the deli in the sky! ROWW! Let's go wild!
[Earth, Wind and Fire's "Boogie Wonderland" plays as the statue monkeys ring the bell at the front of the zoo ring at the zoo's opening hour. The People are coming! Alex bursts with excitement about them.]
Here come the people, Marty! Oh, I love the people! It's fun people fun time! Whoo! [Hop into the water. A hippo she named gloria habitat and tap dances on her butt] Let's go, Gloria! Up and at 'em! We're open!
[yawning]
What day is it?
It's Friday! Field trip day! Dadadadada! Boom! Let’s go! Come on!
Yes, it's field trip day. Let's get up and go... [falls asleep again] in 10 more minutes.
[ricocheting off a lamppost, Alex arrives at the roof of Melman's pen. A giraffe he named melman with constant health problems, or so he thinks]
Come on! [sings in Conga style] Melman, Melman, Melman! Melman, Melman, Melman! Wake up! Rise and shine! It's another fabulous morning in the Big Apple. Let's go!
[scoffs]
Not for me. I'm calling in sick.
I found a brow-- Another brown spot on my shoulder. Right here. See? Right th-- Right there. You see?
Melman, you know it's all in your head. Hmm?
[In the beginning, the island of Madagascar appears in a zebra's daydream. A zebra he named Marty yells like Tarzan and jumps out of the vine after swinging on it. The choir penguins in their black bowties sing Born Free by John Barry, and they fly. He runs and jumps to the water in slow motion. A lion he named Alex appears, sneaking towards the zebra as if almost in the middle of a dream; he jumps up, snapping him out of his dream, and the music stops.]
[screams, slips from treadmill, tumbles and hits into a fence]
Alex! Do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming! When a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.
Come on, Marty. Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday!
[chuckles]
Hey, man, thanks!
[expresses pain on the right side of his jaw]
Oh! Ah! Oh! Hey, um... I got s – I got something stuck in my teeth. It's driving me crazy! Can you help me out here? Please?
Ah! You came to the right place, my friend. Doctor Marty, D.D.S., is in the house! Please hop on top of my sterilized examination table, if you may. [Alex opens the mouth but can't see anything because it's dark] I don't see anything.
[muffled]
It's on the left.
OK, just don't talk with your mouth full. [Alex nods] Aha! Right here. What the heck is this doing in there?
Aww! Hey, thanks, man! You put it in behind the tooth. You all right?
These aren't even on the shelf yet. Here! Check it out. Check it out! Look at that. Ooh! Look at that! Ooh!
Look at that. It's snowing.
10 years old, huh? A decade. Double digits. The big 1-O! You don't like it?
You hate it. Ugh! I should've gotten you the Alex alarm clock. That's the one. That's the big seller.
No, no! No. The present's great, really. It's just that another year's come and gone, and I'm still doing the same old thing. "Stand over here. Trot over there. Eat some grass. Walk back over here."
Maybe I should go to law school.
You just need to break out of that boring routine.
Throw out the old act. Get out there! Who knows what you're gonna do? Make it up as you go along. Ad-lib, improvise, on the fly. Boom, boom, boom!
Fresh, huh? OK. I could do fresh.
[Marty runs for his life as the fossa chase after him.]
Help me!! Anybody, help me!! Somebody!! [Marty turns to see two Fossas riding on his butt and dumping salt and lemon juice on him] Ah! [Marty throws the Fossa off of him] HEEEEELLLLP!!!!!!!
[As the Fossa make a dog pile to eat Marty, Melman is swinging on a vine while doing a Tarzan Yell to save Marty.]
Melman?
That's right, baby. [Both crash into the rock]
[As she picks up and puts Marty down, the fossa ran towards them]
RUN!
[Meanwhile in the jungle, the lemurs have gathered at an old airplane for a meeting.]
Everybody, calm down. Come on. Into your chairs. Yes. Everybody, please, calm down. Let go of his tail. Separate those two, would you, please? You over here, and you, over there. Everybody, Shh... Calm down, people, OK? Ugh. Now, presenting your royal highness, the illustrious blah, blah, blah. You know, et cetera, et cetera. Hooray. Let's go.
Now, everybody, we all have great curiosity about our guests, the New York Giants. Yes, Willie?
WL Willie the lemur
I like them.
I like them. I like them! I liked them first! Before I even met them, I liked them!
Yes, yes. Yes! We get it…
When I saw them, I liked them right away. You hate them compared to how much I like them…
Oh, shut up! You're so annoying!! [Pauses out of the park and Mort chuckles] Now, for as long as we can remember, we have been attacked and eaten by the dreaded fossa.
L Lemur
THE FOSSA! THE FOSSA ARE ATTACKING!! [screams] AAHHH!!
L2 Lemur 2
[Everyone all screamed and panic, the one of the lemurs jumps out the old airplane and the glass breaks apart.] [holds up a book titled "To Serve Lemur"]
It's a cookbook! IT'S A COOKBOOK!!!!!
All right! Please. Please, Maurice.
Shh! Quiet!! Come on, y'all. They're not attacking us this very instant.
[All lemurs sigh in relief as Julien continues to prepare his plan that will succeed]
So, my genius plan is this: We will make the New York Giants our friends and keep them close. Then, with Mr. Alex protecting us, we will be safe and never have to worry about the dreaded fossa ever again! [Everyone all agrees.] I thought of that! I thought of that! Yes! Me! I did.
Hold on, hold on, everybody. Hold on. I'm just thinking now. I mean, does anyone wonder why the fossa were so scared of Mr. Alex? I mean, maybe we should be scared too. What if Mr. Alex is even worse than the fossa?! [Lemurs gasp in shock] I'm telling you, that dude just gives me the heebiedabajeebies!
Maurice, you did not raise your hand. Therefore, your heinous comment will be stricken from the record. [Chameleon uses the typewriter] Does anyone else have the heebie-jeebies? No? Good. So shut up. When the New York Giants wake up, we will make sure that they wake up in paradise. [Laughing] Now, who would like a cookie?
[Lemurs cheer.]
[Meanwhile on Madagascar island...]
Well, since I'm doomed to die on this forsaken island, I, Melman Mankiewicz, being of sound mind and unsound body, have divided my estate equally among the three of you. [Right before he could finish his sentence, a wave came in and go rid of it] Oh… Sorry, Alex.
Hey! A latrine. Nice work, Melman. Outdoor plumbing.
No, it's not a latrine. It's a grave! You sent Melman to his grave. Are you happy?
Aw, come on. This isn't the end. This is a whole new beginning. This could be the best thing that's ever happened to us.
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No! This is not the best thing that's ever happened to us!
Yeah! You abused the power of the birthday wish and brought this bad luck on all of us. So why'd you tell your wish? You're not supposed to do that.
Wait a minute. I didn't wanna tell you. Remember? You guys made me tell you.
[As Marty talks, Alex has grabbed a tree and drawn a line over the beach.]
Besides, this isn't bad luck. This is good luck. Look around. There's no fences, no schedules. This place is beautiful. Baby, we were born to be here.
OK. OK. I've had enough of this. This is your side of the island, and this is our side of the island. That is the bad side, where you can prance and skip around like a magical pixie horse! And do whatever the heck you wanna do all day long. And this, this is the good side of the island for those who love New York and care about going home.
No, no. Back! Back! Back! Back!
You know what? This isn't good.
OK! You all have your side, and I'll have mine! And if you need me, I'll be over here, on the fun side of the island, having a good old time! A gay old time! A yay old time!
[quietly]
That’s not the fun side. [loudly] This is the fun side! This is the fun side, where we're gonna have a great time surviving until we go home. Whoo! I love this side. This side's the best. That side stinks! You're on the Jersey side of this cesspool!!
Don't worry, Melman. I have a plan to get us rescued.
[The Bee Gees's Stayin’ Alive is playing while Marty walks through New York. Melman, Alex, and Gloria have just escaped the zoo. Melman helps Alex to hang his neck, and Alex falls down to the ground. Gloria bashes the outside wall of the zoo.]
Melman, come on!
You know, maybe one of us should wait here in case he comes back.
Oh, no. Not now. This is an intervention, Melman. We all got to go.
What's the fastest way to Grand Central?!
Ooh! You should take Lexington.
Okay. "We". We should take Lexington.
No, Park goes 2 ways. You can't time the lights.
[Mason and Phil have just escaped the zoo]
I heard Tom Wolfe's speaking at Lincoln Center. [Phil signs frantically] Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him.
[Marty does ice skating then falls. Cut to Alex, Gloria, and Melman at the Subway train station]
I knew we should've taken Park. Are you sure this is the fastest way to Grand Central Station?
I don't know! That's what Melman said!
Hey. Hey, you guys. That room has some nifty little sinks you can wash up in and look! [sticks out his tongue with a urinal cake on it] Free mints!
This isn't a field trip, Melman! This is an urgent mission to save Marty from throwing his life away! Now, where's the train?
Ah. Here it comes. [He hears the train and looks to the other side, screaming he tumbles backwards as the train's horn blares before it hits him!]
What did Marty say to you?! I asked you to talk to him!
I did! I did! [Melman puts the urinal cake back in his mouth] I don't understand! He said, "Let's go!" And I said, "What are you, crazy?" And he says, "I'm ten years old!" And he is black with white stripes, and so then we sang and… [The train doors open; people scream and run away thinking they're getting attacked by the animals; The train doors close]
[the penguins are being transfered; Kowalski is looking at the label on their crate]
Progress report.
It's an older code, Skipper. I can't make it out.
[Skipper notices the chimps in the crate next to them]
You, higher mammal! Can you read?
No. Phil can read though. Phil!
[Phil appears; Kowalski gestures towards the label; Phil starts using sign language]
Ship to... Kenya... wildlife preserve... AFRICA!
Africa? That ain't gonna fly. Rico!
[Rico vomits up a paper clip and uses it to unpick the lock on their crate]
I like them! I like them! Before I even met them I liked them!
You HATE them compared to how much I like them--
Oh, shut up! You're so annoying!
[Pause] [flattered]
Hee-hee!
Now, for as long as we can remember, we have been attacked, and eaten, by the dreaded fossa.
L1 Lemur 1
The fossa! The fossa are attacking! [screams and hurls himself out a window; General panic ensues]
L2 Lemur 2
[holds up a book titled "To Serve Lemur"]
It's a cookbook! It's a cookbook!
