Alex the Lion Here come the people, Marty! I love the people! It's fun-people-fun-time!
Voiced by Ben Stiller 
Madagascar (2005) · 126 quotes
Madagascar (2005) · 126 quotes
Most-quoted character in Madagascar (2005): in 51 of its 126 quotes
Most scenes with: Marty the Zebra (28), Melman the Giraffe (26), Gloria the Hippo (23)
I feel like a mile-high pastrami on rye, on the fly from the deli in the sky! Let's go WILD!
More lines from Alex the Lion
14 quotes Alex the Lion Alex the Lion We can't call the people. They'll be really mad! They'll get Marty transfered for good! You don't bite the hand that feeds ya!
Alex the Lion Come on, my little fillet. My little fillet mignon with a little fat around those edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak, my sweet, juicy steak.
Alex the Lion Did he just say "Grand Central Station" or "my aunt's constipation"?
Alex the Lion [as he is beaten up by an old woman]
Lady! What is wrong with you?!
Alex the Lion Giraffe, corner pocket!
Alex the Lion Shut up, Spalding.
Alex the Lion You bit the hand, Marty! You bit the hand!
Alex the Lion I'M GONNA KILL YOU! I'm gonna strangle you, then bury you, then dig you up and clone you and kill all your clones! And then I'll never talk to you AGAIN!
Alex the Lion [in the middle of an argument with Marty]
And your black and white stripes? They cancel each other out! You're nothing!
Alex the Lion [to Marty, after the island is divided between them and Marty calls his side the fun side]
This is the fun side! This is where we are gonna have a great time surviving until we go home! Your side stinks! You're on the Jersey side of this cesspool!
Alex the Lion I don't know who I am! I don't know who I am? I gotta go find myself in the WILD!
Alex the Lion [first lines]
Surprise!
Alex the Lion It's Friday! Field trip day! Dadadadada! Boom! Let’s go! Come on!
Scenes with Alex the Lion
36 scenesGrand Central Station. It's Grand, and it's Central.
Oh sugar, honey, iced tea!
Excuse me. You're biting my butt.
They are so cute from a reasonable distance.
Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
You didn't see anything... RIGHT?
We've been ratted out, boys!
Shame on you, Maurice! Can you not see that you have insulted the freak?
See you later, crocodile! Maurice, my arm is tired. Wave it for me. Faster, you naughty little monkey!
King Julien, what are they? WHAT ARE THEY?!
I say!
The penguins are going so, why can't I?
Alex The penguins are psychotic.
Alex This is a highly refined, type of, food... thing that you do NOT find in the wild.
Do you ever think that there's more to life than just steak, Alex?
Alex [stares at his steak]
He didn't mean that, baby. No-no-no.
Alex What could Connecticut have to offer us?
Lyme disease.
Alex Thank you, Melman.
Alex [Marty and Alex seem overjoyed to be reunited. They are running towards each other on the beach in slow motion with arms outstretched and Chariots of Fire playing. Their voices are slow and toned to a low key]
Marty!
Alex!
Alex Marty!
Al!
Alex [angrily]
Marty!
Alex MARTY!
Shame on you, Maurice! Can you not see that you have insulted the freak? [to Alex] You must tell me, who the heck are you?
Alex I'm Alex. THE Alex. And this is Melman, Marty and Gloria.
And where exactly are you giants from, Hmm?
Alex We're from New York, and--
All hail the New York Giants!
Alex [to Marty, Melman and Gloria]
All right, enough is enough. I say we just ask these BOZOS where the people are!
Excuse me? We bozos have the people, of course!
Alex You do? That's good to know.
Hey! The bozos have the people!
They're up there.
[points to some human skeletons hanging from parachutes snagged on the branches of a large tree]
Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch though.
Alex Oh. So, do you have any... LIVE people?
Uh, no. Only dead ones.
Man, if we had a lot of live people, it wouldn't be called the wild, would it?
The wild?!
Alex Hold on a second there, fuzzbucket. You mean the live-in-a-mud-hut, wipe-yourself-with-a-leaf type wild?
Who wipes? Ha ha!
Alex Oh no, really. I can't take your crown.
That's okay, I've got a better one! It's got a gecko on it! Look at him shake! Go Stevie, go!
We thank you with enormous gratitude for scaring away the Fossa.
The whossa?
The Fossa. They're alway annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off--
Alex Yeah, sounds great.
Alex [after Melman burned the rescue beacon in panic]
You maniac! You burned it up! Darn you! Darn you all to HECK!
Alex Ow, my head! [he bumps his head on the top of his crate] What the-- I'm in a box! Oh no! Not the box! Oh no, they can't transfer ME! NOT ME! I can't breathe, can't breathe! Darkness creeping in. I can't breathe. Walls closing in around me! So alone. So alone--
Alex, are you there?
Alex Marty?
Yeah! Talk to me, bud!
Alex Oh Marty, you're here!
What's going on? Are you okay?
Alex This doesn't look good, Marty.
Alex, Marty, is that you?
Gloria! I am lovin' the sound of your voice!
What is going on?
Alex We're all in crates.
Oh no!
Man, sleeping just knocks me out.
Alex Melman!
Are you okay?
Yeah. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI.
Alex Melman, you're not getting an MRI!
CAT scan?
Alex No! No CAT scan! It's a zoo transfer!
ZOO TRANSFER?! No, I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at 5:00. There are prescriptions that have to be filled! No other zoo can afford my medical care, and I am NOT going HMO!
Take it easy, Melman. We are gonna be o-kiz-ay!
Alex No Marty, we're not gonna be o-kiz-ay. Now, because of you, we're ruined!
Excuse me, I fail to see how this is my fault.
You're kidding, right Marty?
Alex You ticked off the people! You bit the hand, Marty! You bit the hand! "I don't know who I am! I don't know who I am? I gotta go find myself in the WILD!"
Yeah, but I didn't ask you to come after me.
He does have a point. I did say we should have stayed at the zoo but, you guys--
Alex Melman, just shut it! You're the one who gave him this idea in in the first place!
Alex, would you just leave Melman out of this, please!
Thank you, Gloria. Besides, it's not my fault that we were TRANSFERRED!
Melman, shut it. Does anyone feel nauseous?
I feel nauseous.
Alex Melman, you always feel nauseous.
Alex, what are you doing!?
Alex I'm swimming back to New York! I know my chances are slim, but I have to try!
You can't swim!
Alex I said my chances are slim!
Nature! It's all over me, get it off!
[In the beginning, the island of Madagascar appears in a zebra's daydream. A zebra he named Marty yells like Tarzan and jumps out of the vine after swinging on it. The choir penguins in their black bowties sing Born Free by John Barry, and they fly. He runs and jumps to the water in slow motion. A lion he named Alex appears, sneaking towards the zebra as if almost in the middle of a dream; he jumps up, snapping him out of his dream, and the music stops.]
Alex [first lines]
Surprise!
[screams, slips from treadmill, tumbles and hits into a fence]
Alex! Do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming! When a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.
Alex Come on, Marty. Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday!
Alex [expresses pain on the right side of his jaw]
Oh! Ah! Oh! Hey, um... I got s – I got something stuck in my teeth. It's driving me crazy! Can you help me out here? Please?
Ah! You came to the right place, my friend. Doctor Marty, D.D.S., is in the house! Please hop on top of my sterilized examination table, if you may. [Alex opens the mouth but can't see anything because it's dark] I don't see anything.
Alex [muffled]
It's on the left.
Ow!
Alex [muffled]
Oh, sorry.
OK, just don't talk with your mouth full. [Alex nods] Aha! Right here. What the heck is this doing in there?
Alex Happy birthday!
Aww! Hey, thanks, man! You put it in behind the tooth. You all right?
Alex These aren't even on the shelf yet. Here! Check it out. Check it out! Look at that. Ooh! Look at that! Ooh!
Look at that. It's snowing.
Alex 10 years old, huh? A decade. Double digits. The big 1-O! You don't like it?
No, no, it's great!
Alex You hate it. Ugh! I should've gotten you the Alex alarm clock. That's the one. That's the big seller.
No, no! No. The present's great, really. It's just that another year's come and gone, and I'm still doing the same old thing. "Stand over here. Trot over there. Eat some grass. Walk back over here."
Alex I see your problem.
Maybe I should go to law school.
Alex You just need to break out of that boring routine.
How?
Alex Throw out the old act. Get out there! Who knows what you're gonna do? Make it up as you go along. Ad-lib, improvise, on the fly. Boom, boom, boom!
Really?
Alex You know, make it fresh.
Fresh, huh? OK. I could do fresh.
Alex Works for me.
Alex [Earth, Wind and Fire's "Boogie Wonderland" plays as the statue monkeys ring the bell at the front of the zoo ring at the zoo's opening hour. The People are coming! Alex bursts with excitement about them.]
Here come the people, Marty! Oh, I love the people! It's fun people fun time! Whoo! [Hop into the water. A hippo she named gloria habitat and tap dances on her butt] Let's go, Gloria! Up and at 'em! We're open!
Alex It's Friday! Field trip day! Dadadadada! Boom! Let’s go! Come on!
Yes, it's field trip day. Let's get up and go... [falls asleep again] in 10 more minutes.
Alex [ricocheting off a lamppost, Alex arrives at the roof of Melman's pen. A giraffe he named melman with constant health problems, or so he thinks]
Come on! [sings in Conga style] Melman, Melman, Melman! Melman, Melman, Melman! Wake up! Rise and shine! It's another fabulous morning in the Big Apple. Let's go!
Alex What?
I found a brow-- Another brown spot on my shoulder. Right here. See? Right th-- Right there. You see?
Alex Melman, you know it's all in your head. Hmm?
Alex Ahhh… what a day. I mean, just really, really, I mean, I tell you, it just doesn't get any better than this, you know? [short pause, Alex sees a star] Ooh! It just did. Even the star's out. Not going to find a star like that in the wild.
Helicopter. [A star, which turns out to be a helicopter, flies away.]
Alex Marty. Buddy. Listen. Everybody has days when they think the grass might be greener somewhere else.
Alex. Look at me. I'm 10 years old. My life is half over. And I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes... or white with black stripes.
Alex Marty. I'm thinking of a song.
Alex. Please. Not now.
Alex Oh, yes. It's a wonderful song. I think you're familiar with it. [scatting]
Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't. No, no, no. I'm not listening! Lalalalalalalalalalala!
Alex ♪ Start spreadin' the news ♪
I don't know you!
Alex ♪ I'm leaving today! We are a great big part of it ♪
Alex Come on. You know you know the words. Two little words.
New York.
Both
♪ New York! ♪
Bird
Shut up, shut up, shut up!! Hey, I'm sleeping here! We're not all nocturnal, you know!!
Hey, I'll knock your "turnal" right off, pal.
Snake
Yeah, you and what army, stripes?
Alex You mess with him, you mess with me, Howard!
Ah ha ha ha!
Unknown Animal
You're a bigmouth lion!
Alex See? Mr. Grumpy Stripes! We make a great team, the two of us.
We sure do. No doubt about it.
Alex So, what are you going to do? Just go running off to the wild by yourself?
No.
Alex Good.
You and me. Let's go.
Alex What?
The wild. Come on. You and me together. It's a straight shot down Fifth Avenue to Grand Central. We'll grab a train; we'll head north. We can be back by morning. No one will ever know.
Alex [chuckles]
You're joking. Right?
[chuckles]
Yeah. I'm joking. Of course I'm joking. Give me a break. Like we're going to get a train.
Alex [chuckles]
Oh. [sighs] Don't do that. You really had me worried there.
Alex Yeah, me too. I'll need to rest my voice for tomorrow. It's Seniors' Day, you know. Have to roar extra loud. Give them a little jolt! You know what I’m talking about?
Good night, Ally Al.
Alex [sighs and claps twice to turn on the red light and hears a bird]
Oh. They forgot to turn off the ambience again!
Don't worry. It's cool. You know, I got it. [kicks the speaker, shooing the bird away as it now turns to the sounds of the Police]
Alex Ah. Much better. [2 hours later; sleep talking] Come on now, baby. My little filet. My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy.
Alex. Alex. Alex? Alex. Alex!
Alex [wakes up]
Huh? What?
You suck your thumb?
Alex [sighs]
What is it, Melman?
Okay, okay. [sighs] You know how I have that bladder infection, and I have to get up every two hours? Well, I got up to pee, um, and I looked over at Marty's pen, which, you know, I usually don't do. I don't know why, but I did. And this time I looked over and...
Alex What, Melman? What's going on?
It's Marty. He's gone.
Alex Gone?! [hits his head] Agh! What do you mean "gone"?!
How long has he been working on this?! [looks into the hole the penguins dug] Marty!! Marty!!!
Alex [tries to look for Marty in the haystacks, noticing that he isn't there]
Marty? Marty?! Marty!! Marty!!!
This doesn't make any sense. Where would he go?
Alex [horrified; after short pause]
CONNECTICUT!!
He wouldn't.
Oh, no! What are we going to do? We gotta-- we gotta-- I mean, we gotta-- we gotta-- we gotta call somebody!
Alex [Gasps as he runs to a payphone and dials 911]
Hello?! Get me Missing Animals!! And hurry! We've got a lost zebra probably on the way to Connecticut by now, and we're gonna need...!!
911 Operator
[Cut to 911 dispatch office; the operator only hears Alex roaring on speaker.] [takes off headset in confusion]
Hello? [cut to zoo; on speaker] Hello?
Alex [notices a mistake]
Wait a second. We can't call the people.
911 Operator
What the…?!
Alex [hangs up, then nervously looks at the phone booth for a second before ripping it out and throwing it on the ground]
They'll be really mad! It'll get Marty transferred for good. You don't bite the hand that feeds you.
Mm-hmm. I know that's right.
Alex We got to go after him.
Go after him?
Alex He's not thinking straight. We got to stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. He's probably out there lost and cold, confused. [sighs; sadly] Poor little guy.
[The Bee Gees's Stayin’ Alive is playing while Marty walks through New York. Melman, Alex, and Gloria have just escaped the zoo. Melman helps Alex to hang his neck, and Alex falls down to the ground. Gloria bashes the outside wall of the zoo.]
Melman, come on!
You know, maybe one of us should wait here in case he comes back.
Oh, no. Not now. This is an intervention, Melman. We all got to go.
Alex What's the fastest way to Grand Central?!
Ooh! You should take Lexington.
Melman!!
Okay. "We". We should take Lexington.
Alex What about Park?
No, Park goes 2 ways. You can't time the lights.
[Mason and Phil have just escaped the zoo]
I heard Tom Wolfe's speaking at Lincoln Center. [Phil signs frantically] Well, of course we're going to throw poo at him.
Alex [Marty does ice skating then falls. Cut to Alex, Gloria, and Melman at the Subway train station]
I knew we should've taken Park. Are you sure this is the fastest way to Grand Central Station?
I don't know! That's what Melman said!
Hey. Hey, you guys. That room has some nifty little sinks you can wash up in and look! [sticks out his tongue with a urinal cake on it] Free mints!
Alex This isn't a field trip, Melman! This is an urgent mission to save Marty from throwing his life away! Now, where's the train?
Ah. Here it comes. [He hears the train and looks to the other side, screaming he tumbles backwards as the train's horn blares before it hits him!]
What did Marty say to you?! I asked you to talk to him!
Alex I did! I did! [Melman puts the urinal cake back in his mouth] I don't understand! He said, "Let's go!" And I said, "What are you, crazy?" And he says, "I'm ten years old!" And he is black with white stripes, and so then we sang and… [The train doors open; people scream and run away thinking they're getting attacked by the animals; The train doors close]
Alex [On the train, Alex and his gang are sitting as Alex sees a frightened man reading his newspaper about a basketball game between Golden State Warriors and New York Knicks at Madison Square Garden.] [reads the frightened man's sports paper then roars]
Aww! Knicks lost again.
What are you going to do?
Conductor
Grand Central Station.
Alex Did that just say: "Grand Central Station" or "My Aunt's Constipation"?
This is it.
News Reporter Last night's dramatic incident in Grand Central is an example of what animal rights wackos have been shouting for years: The animals clearly don't belong in captivity. Now they are to be sent back to their natural habitat, where they will live their lives in the freedom they so clearly desire.
Alex [Groaning, sticks out his hand weakly]
Hey, little help?
Guard
[audience screams and runs away]
He's awake! HE'S AWAKE!!!!
Guard #2
[screams]
News Reporter [the Guards shoot more tranquilizer darts with different colors off-screen, the blue one lands in the middle of his hand while the human hits the streetlamp, faints and crawls away]
DO SOMETHING!!!!
Alex Oh, man.
[Alex's dream sequence plays again but this time, it’s sped up.]
I hear it now!
Where there's music, there's people.
Alex We’ll go right to the head honcho.
A sidewalk would be nice.
Yeah, what a dump.
Alex They should call it the San Di-lame-o Zoo. First, they tell you, "Hey! We got this great open-plan thing. Let the animals run wild!" Next thing you know, it’s flowers in your hair. Everybody's hugging everybody!
This place kind of grows on you. This way, guys! Come on!
Alex [gets hit in the mouth by a branch]
OW!! Ooh! [screams then cries in his hands] Aah! [his foot hits a rock] Oh, oh! AAH!!! [his foot pricks a thorn] Aah! What the...? [jumps through spider webs] Oh! Aah! Ew! Ew! [sputters as he tries to get the webs off himself, then knocks down a tree on himself] OH, NO!! AAAHH!!!
[Meanwhile on Madagascar island...]
Well, since I'm doomed to die on this forsaken island, I, Melman Mankiewicz, being of sound mind and unsound body, have divided my estate equally among the three of you. [Right before he could finish his sentence, a wave came in and go rid of it] Oh… Sorry, Alex.
Hey! A latrine. Nice work, Melman. Outdoor plumbing.
Alex No, it's not a latrine. It's a grave! You sent Melman to his grave. Are you happy?
Aw, come on. This isn't the end. This is a whole new beginning. This could be the best thing that's ever happened to us.
Alex No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No! This is not the best thing that's ever happened to us!
Yeah! You abused the power of the birthday wish and brought this bad luck on all of us. So why'd you tell your wish? You're not supposed to do that.
Wait a minute. I didn't wanna tell you. Remember? You guys made me tell you.
Oh, OK.
[As Marty talks, Alex has grabbed a tree and drawn a line over the beach.]
Besides, this isn't bad luck. This is good luck. Look around. There's no fences, no schedules. This place is beautiful. Baby, we were born to be here.
Alex OK. OK. I've had enough of this. This is your side of the island, and this is our side of the island. That is the bad side, where you can prance and skip around like a magical pixie horse! And do whatever the heck you wanna do all day long. And this, this is the good side of the island for those who love New York and care about going home.
Come on.
Alex No, no. Back! Back! Back! Back!
You know what? This isn't good.
OK! You all have your side, and I'll have mine! And if you need me, I'll be over here, on the fun side of the island, having a good old time! A gay old time! A yay old time!
Alex [quietly]
That’s not the fun side. [loudly] This is the fun side! This is the fun side, where we're gonna have a great time surviving until we go home. Whoo! I love this side. This side's the best. That side stinks! You're on the Jersey side of this cesspool!!
WILMA!!!!!!!!
Well, now what do we do?
Alex Don't worry, Melman. I have a plan to get us rescued.
[And in the meantime, at the beach, Alex makes the sign of "Help!", waiting for the boat that was hijacked by the penguins. And Marty tries to cheer up Alex with an apology]
Yo, Al. Melman and Gloria are over there having a good time. There's room on the fun side for one more.
Alex No, thanks.
Look, I've been thinking. Maybe if you gave this place a chance, I don't know, you might even enjoy yourself.
Alex Marty, I'm tired. I'm hungry. I just want to go home.
Could you just give it a chance? Think about it. It really isn't the fun side without you. [Leaves away from Alex, The P breaks and falls apart, which now says "Hell".]
Everyone (sans Alex)
[Alex comes to Marty's, sign says "No Soliciting"] [laughing]
I know. And then... [Alex knocks on the door] Shh. Shh. It's him.
Who is it?
Alex It's the pizza man. Who the heck do you think it is?
Alex Can I come to the fun side?
Alex You know, I've been kind of a jerk, Marty. But I've been thinking about what you said, and... I'm sorry.
[Closes the door. But then unlocks and opens the door!]
Welcome to Casa del Wild! Take a load off. Hey, hey, wipe your feet.
Alex!
Alex Very impressive.
Hey, have a drink. It's on the house.
Alex [Drinks the water from the coconut shell, but it's seawater instead of potable water and he spits it out!]
This is seawater.
Oh, you don't swallow it. It's just temporary till the plumbing's done. Hey, y'all look hungry. How would you like some of nature's goodness?
You have food?
The Fun Side Special, coming up. Seaweed on a stick.
Alex Seaweed?
On a stick. Don't love it till you try it.
That's unbelievable!
Mmm… So good.
Well, thanks. It does kind of hit the spot, doesn't it? [Without roasting it, Alex coughs up seaweed, because he wants steak as a carnivore.] Well, maybe it could use a little lemon.
Alex No, it's great. It's really great. Doesn't get any better than this.
Oh, but it does. Check this out.
[He pulls down a lever, opening up the roof to show a view of the stars.]
Wow! Would you look at that?
Alex It's like billions and billions of helicopters.
It's a shooting star. Make a wish. Quick!
Alex Ooh! How about a thick, juicy steak?
You know what, Alex? I promise you I'm going to find you a steak tomorrow if it kills me.
Alex Thanks, Marty.
I think I'm gonna hit the sack too. Sweet dreams, everyone.
[Alex dreams of licking steak] [echoes]
Alex. [Alex is surprised; accidentally licks Marty as the others are shocked and confused] What are you doing?
Alex 27, 28, 29, 30. Hmm. 30. 30 black and only 29 white. Looks like you're black with white stripes after all. Dilemma solved. Good night. [Fakes sleeping.]
[Cut to black of the next morning]
Wake up, Mr. Alex. Wake up, Mr. Alex. Rise and shining. Wakey-waking, Mr. Alex! [Loudly] WAKE UP!!!! ALEX!!!!! [Alex muffled gasp] You suck your thumb?
Alex AHH!
Everyone (sans Alex)
AHH!!!
Everyone
AAHHHH!!!!
Alex [Shocked, the zoo animals get up.]
Where are we? What the heck is going on?
Take it easy.
Alex What is this?
Who built a forest?
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't be alarmed, giant freaks! While you were asleep, we simply took you to our little corner of heaven. Welcome to Madagascar.
Mada-who-ah?!
What?
No, not who-ah, ascar.
Alex [The zoo animals stare from the open view of Madagascar.]
Marty. It's...
It's just like my mural back at the zoo.
Oh, no, fella, that is the real deal right there.
Look at that, that's not a bad view.
Alex I mean, that's the thing that you were always looking at, but it's actually there. I mean, that's like the real version of your...
Hey, how about once around the park? Let's get our blood pumping, get those lungs breathing all this fresh air! Who's with me?!
Alex Ah, naw. I really, I don't think I could... You're it!
Hey! Want to play around? Ho! Hey!
Alex Ha-ha! Oof!
Got you there! Ha-ha!
Alex Come here! Ha-ha-ha!
You're it.
Alex [Chuckles, while riding on Marty's back]
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, stop that! Hey, you’re crazy!
Alex OK, Marty, I'm it. I'm it. I'm it. You win. [Groans in exhaustion]
Come on, Alex, get in the groove.
Alex I haven't eaten in two days. My blood sugar's real low. I just don't have the energy.
I don't think that's your problem. First of all, that's not how you run in the wild. Let's go, man. Put the rubber to the road! You just have to let out that inner lion. Now, who's the cat?
Alex Marty, I really don't...
You are; that's who. Come on! Here we go! That's it. Now let's build up some steam!
Alex Alright.
Marty You the cat.
Alex Who's the cat?
You the cat.
Alex [Marty went up ahead whooping as Alex kept repeating "Who's the cat?" over and over again. His eyes lean close to Marty, and his eyes dilate.]
I'M THE CAT!!
Alex [Marty sprints through the gorgeous landscape, elation on his face. He's running just like he did in his fantasy back at the zoo. Behind him, Alex catches up and zooms past Marty with blazing speed.]
Surprise!
Yahhh!!
Alex [Marty crashes to Alex until they both tumble to a stop. Alex pops to his feet adrenaline surging.]
Hoo! You're it! You're it! Can't juke the cat. Cat's too quick! Whoo! Hoo-ha! Ooh, yeah! Hoo-ha! I feel like a mile-high pastrami on rye on the fly from the deli in the sky! ROWW! Let's go wild!
Now you're talking!
Alex [Alex and Marty are now doing the Tarzan Yell as they enter the wild party.]
Whoo! Man! I feel... [laughing] different! Noogie, noogie, noogie. Noogie, noogie, noogie! Whoo! Kind of charged up or something. Hoo!
Ah, Marty, Marty, Marty! Like you said, baby.
Alex It's Crack-a-lacking. Ain't that right, Melman? Whoo!
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm in heaven.
You see, Maurice, Alex is now our friend and the fossas are nowhere to be seen. It could be said that my plan is working in a very good working kind of way.
Alex Yeah!
Alex. You got to try some of this.
Alex [Alex spits the pineapple to King Julien]
I feel good. Feel like a king again!
Yeah! You should see his act. Come on, Alex. Why don't you show him some of your act?
Alex [Chuckles]
Oh. No, I really don't think I could... OK.
Alex! Come out, Alex! The boat's here! We can go home!
Kids
[The fossa see Marty, as if they are going to eat him; The dream appears to have many steaks, Alex wants them and his claws show up] [chanting]
Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex!
[Alex's eyes change like he's going to go crazy again, fearing that he will continue injuring his friends, retreats to foosa territory in isolation. Marty searches for him, excited.]
Alex! Alex.
Alex Marty?
Snap out of it, Alex. The boat came back. We can get out of here. We can go back to civilization, and everything will be just like it used to be.
Alex Stay back. Please. I'm a monster.
Alex, you're no monster. You're my friend. We're a team. You and me, remember?
Alex [Alex tried to attack Marty, but the zebra scuttled back away from the crazed lion.]
I don't want to hurt you.
Alex. I ain't leaving without you. Alex? I'm thinking of a song. It's a wonderful song. I'm sure you're familiar with it. ♪Start spreadin' the news. I'm leaving today. We are a great big part of it!♪ Come on, you know the words. Two little words. Please don't make me sing this by myself. [go back to Alex's normal eyes again] You really don't want to hear me sing this by myself. [The fossa appear from above the rocks] Uh, Alex? Could you come out here for a minute? Hey, Alex, a l-l-little help? AAH!!! HELP ME!! ALEX!!! HEEEEELLLLP!!!!!!!
Alex [Hearing his best friend's screams, a look of determination appears on his face as his eyes dilate.]
Close those eyes.
Alex Why do I have to close my eyes?
Do it.
Alex Yeah. They're closed.
Tighter.
Alex Yes, sir.
No peeking.
Alex Alright. They're closed.
Rico.
[takes the fish; Does a karate chop with two knives; carves; slaps the bottom of the fish turns into 12 sushi fish and drops]
Hai. [the tail drops on his head; the knife takes a sushi fish]
Open that hatch.
Alex Aah…
[the sushi fish puts inside Alex's mouth]
Fire in the hole. [closes the Alex's mouth and chews] Now chew. Chew like you mean it! Savor it.
Alex Mmm… Mmm.
And?
Well?
Pretty good, right?
There's always Plan B. [Mort laughs]
Alex Mmm… Mmm. This is better than steak. I love it! I love it!
The kitty loves the fishy. [Kowalski and Private got a high-5 as everyone cheers]
Well, I propose a toast. Now, he may be a pain in the butt at times... And trust me, I know. But this cat proved to me without a doubt that his heart is bigger than his stomach. To Alex.
Everyone
To Alex!
Well, what do you guys think? Should we head back to New York?
Alex I don't know, Marty. I mean, this is your dream. You sure you want to leave?
I don't care where we are. As long as we're together, it doesn't matter to me.
Alex Well, in that case... [turns to Rico] Yo. Rico. I'll take 300 orders to go!
Hai.
Yes, yes. But before you leave, I have an announcement to make. So shut up, everyone, please. Thank you. After much deep and profound brain things inside my head, I have decided to thank you for bringing peace to our home. [presents Alex with his crown] And to make you feel good, I'm gonna give you this lovely parting gift.
Alex Oh, no, really. I can't take your crown.
That's OK, I've got a bigger crown! It's got a gecko on it! Look at him shake! Go, Stevie, go!
Alex Marty?
Yeah! Talk to me, buddy.
Alex Oh, Marty! You're here!
What's going on? Are you OK?
Alex? Marty, is that you?
Gloria!
Alex You're here, too!
I am loving the sound of your voice!
What is going on?
Alex Come on! Melman, Melman, Melman! Melman, Melman, Melman! Wake up!
Is that Melman?
Are you OK?
Yeah. No, I’m fine.
Alex Marty. I'm thinking of a song.
Alex. Please. Not now.
Alex Oh, yes. It's a wonderful song. I think you're familiar with it. [scatting]
Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't. No, no, no. I'm not listening! Lalalalalalalalalalala!
Alex ♪ Start spreadin' the news ♪
I don't know you!
Alex ♪ I'm leaving today! We are a great big part of it ♪
Alex Come on. You know you know the words.
New York.
Both
♪ New York! ♪
Alex See? Mr. Grumpy Stripes! We make a great team.
Yeah, here we are. White sandy beaches, cleverly simulated natural environment, wide-open enclosures. I'm telling you, this could be the San Diego Zoo.
Alex San Diego? What could be worse than San Diego?
I don't know. This place is crackalackin'! Oh, I could hang here. I could hang here.
We're just going to find the people, get checked in and have this mess straightened out.
Alex Oh, great. This is just great. San Diego. Now I'll have to compete with Shamu and his smug little grin. I can't top that? Can't top it!
Maybe I should go to law school.
Other characters in Madagascar
Marty the Zebra
Chris Rock
Gloria the Hippo
Jada Pinkett Smith
Melman the Giraffe
David Schwimmer
Mason the Chimp
Conrad Vernon
Julien
Sacha Baron Cohen
King Julian the Lemur
Skipper the Penguin
Tom McGrath
Maurice the Aye-Aye
Cedric the Entertainer
Mort the Cute Lemur
Andy Richter
Kowalski
Chris Miller
Lemurs
David P. Smith
Private
Christopher Knights
Announcer
Eric Darnell
Fossa
Rico
Jeffrey Katzenberg
More Ben Stiller characters
Derek Zoolander
White Goodman
David Starsky
Mr. Furious
Gaylord 'Greg' Focker
Larry Daley
Tony Perkis Jr
Greg Focker