Andy Richter movie quotes ... Movie Quotes Database

Mort the Cute Lemur

I like them, I like them! Before I even met them I liked them! You hate them compared to how much I like them!

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Mort the Cute Lemur

King Julien, what are they? WHAT ARE THEY?!

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Mort the Cute Lemur

I'm steak! Me-me-me-me-me!

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Emily

[Calling Walter]

Hi, it's me.

Walter

I really can't talk right now.

Emily

Well, just tell me how the pitch went.

Walter

I'm gonna be a little later than I thought, okay?

Emily

Well, don't be too late, Walter, it's Christmas Eve.

Eugene

[He and Morris enters]

Walter...

Walter

Wait, um. Honey, I gotta go, okay? Love ya.

Emily

Oh, say hi to Buddy.

Walter

[Ḥangs up his phone]

What?

Eugene

Walter, breakthrough. We found this in the conference room.

Walter

What is it?

Eugene

It's Miles Finch's notebook. This thing is chock full of genius ideas. I mean, look at that.

Morris

And his best idea is about a peach that lives on a farm. What's more vulnerable than a peach?

Walter

What, uh, what do we do?

Eugene

I think we should go with the first pitch... it's genius.

Walter

Uh, how much time we got?

Eugene

We got, like, 45 minutes.

Walter

Well, come on, let's, uh, try to get a storyboard or something ready.

Eugene

Come on, let's do it.

Walter

Just try. No, you can't sit down and get a storyboard ready. Go and get a storyboard ready.

Eugene

Oh, boy! Go.

Buddy

[Walter reading a note from Buddy]

I'm sorry I ruined your lives and crammed 11 cookies into the VCR. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. I'll never forget you. Love, Buddy.

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Morris

[Walter, Morris and Eugene are conference calling Miles Finch]

My favorite book of yours has gotta be Gus' pickles. It's existential, yet it's so accessible.

Eugene

Uh, Mr. Finch, uh, Eugene Dupris here. It's a thrill just to be talking to you on our speakerphone.

Walter

Miles, um, so, what do you think? Can you fly in tomorrow?

Miles

I'll give you five hours tomorrow, not a minute more.

Walter

Oh, that's... that's great.

Miles

I'd like a black s500 to receive me at the airport. I need the interior of that car to be 71 degrees exactly.

Walter

We can do that.

Deborah

Mr. Hobbs? There's a situation downstairs.

Miles

I'm sorry, what?

Walter

No, hold on, Miles. Deb, hang up.

Miles

I do not hold. Do not put me on hold.

Deborah

We have a problem in the mailroom.

Walter

What's going on? Don't speak... Deborah, hang up!

Miles

That's it, I'm gone.

Walter

Miles!

Finch

I'll be there tomorrow... 71 degrees.

Deborah

Sir, Chuck in the mailroom needs to talk to you.

Walter

Chuck... what, Chuck? I mean, what could be going on down there that's so important you had to interrupt me, what?

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Miles Finch

[Arriving at Walter's office]

All right, let's do this.

Walter

Miles, I'm so happy you could come. Uh...

Miles Finch

Yeah.

Walter

I'm Walter Hobbs. Yeah, let's get the, uh... Taken care of so we can get started here. Here you go.

Miles

Great. All right... [Clears throat] What have you guys got so far? Go ahead.

Morris

Uh... We were thinking, uh, something like this, uh... We open on a young tomato. He's had some tough times down at the farm with, you know, a rabbit, and...

Miles

No. No tomatoes... too vulnerable. Kids, they're already vulnerable.

Walter

No, you see? I... I told you guys. I told them the very same thing...

Miles

And no farms. Every body's pushing small town rural. A farm book would just be white noise.

Eugene

What about this? Uh, a tribe of asparagus children, but they're self-conscious about the way their pee smells. [Gestures in a desperate urge of praising of originality]

Walter

Apparently, all we have is vegetables, I have no time so you know, if you've got a story here...

Miles

I've got about five or six great starts here. [Pounds his ideas notebook on the table with a fist] I've got one idea that I'm especially psyched out of my mind about. You know, it's one of those ideas where you're like, YES! [They all react in surprised excitement]

Walter

Uh, great, could we hear it?

Miles

I'll start with the cover. Picture this... you got, uh

Buddy

Dad! I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!

Walter

Buddy, not now, uh, can you please go back to the... to the pit? I'll come and visit you in a little while, okay?

Buddy

I didn't know you had elves working here.

Miles

Oh... boy, you're... you're hilarious, my friend.

Walter

He doesn't, uh... get back to the story, please.

Miles

All right, okay. So, on the cover above the title...

Buddy

Does Santa know that you left the workshop?

Miles

You know, we're all laughing our heads off.

Buddy

Did you have to borrow a reindeer to get down here?

Walter

Buddy... go back to the basement.

Miles

Hey, jack weed, I get more action in a week than you've had your entire life. I've got houses in L.A., Paris, and Vail, each one of them with a 70-inch plasma screen. So, I suggest you wipe that stupid smile off your face before I come over there and smack it off! You feeling strong, my friend?! Call me elf one more time!

Buddy

[Whispers]

He's an angry elf. [Miles then leaps up onto the meeting table and starts running towards Buddy, growling] Look at you. [Miles then does an airborne kick into Buddy's chest] Ow! Hey, what... Aah! I wasn't ready for that. [Miles twists his arm] Aah! Hey, hey, hey! Whoa!

Morris

Ooh...

Miles

[Buddy grabs his arm]

Call me elf one more time! Call me elf!

Buddy

You're an elf. [Miles then flips Buddy off the table and into chairs]

Walter

Miles, I'm sorry, he thinks he's an elf. [Walter stops Miles from leaving, but Miles leaves] Listen, Miles... Listen, Miles!

Buddy

He must be a South Pole elf.

Walter

[Lividly and sternly]

You get the hell outta here.

Buddy

[Confused]

Where do you want me to go?

Walter

[Furiously]

I don't care where you go. [starts yelling at the top of his lungs] I don't care that you're an elf! I don't care that you're NUTS! I DON’T CARE THAT YOU’RE MY SON! GET OUTTA MY LIFE!! NOW!!
[Heartbroken, Buddy tearfully runs out of the office while the others stare at Walter tạkeṅ ạbạċk]

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Father Harris

[while exorcising Megan]

Holy Lord, Almighty Father, Everlasting God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the Virgin Mary's baby daddy, Holy Lord, Almighty Father, Everlasting God, who once concerned that Fallen Tyrant to the flames of Hell, who sent your only Son in the world to crush that Roaring Tiger, and who got that unholy bitch Jerri kicked off of Survivor!

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