The penguins are going so, why can't I?
The penguins are psychotic.
Alex the Lion
Ben Stiller · 51 quotes
Marty the Zebra
Chris Rock · 39 quotes
Gloria the Hippo
Jada Pinkett Smith · 38 quotes
Melman the Giraffe
David Schwimmer · 38 quotes
Mason the Chimp
Conrad Vernon · 24 quotes
Julien
Sacha Baron Cohen · 20 quotes
King Julian the Lemur
20 quotes
Skipper the Penguin
Tom McGrath · 20 quotes
Maurice the Aye-Aye
Cedric the Entertainer · 14 quotes
Mort the Cute Lemur
Andy Richter · 10 quotes
Kowalski
Chris Miller · 5 quotes
Lemurs
David P. Smith · 5 quotes
Private
Christopher Knights · 5 quotes
Announcer
Eric Darnell · 3 quotes
Fossa
3 quotes
Rico
Jeffrey Katzenberg · 2 quotes
Most scenes together: Marty the Zebra & Alex the Lion (28), Alex the Lion & Melman the Giraffe (26), Melman the Giraffe & Gloria the Hippo (26)
Madagascar quotes
Page 2 of 9What have I done? This is a nightmare! And it's all my fault. Now, because of me, we've lost Alex.
Well, what are we going to do?
We'll find a way to help him. That's what we'll do.
Oh! OK.
Come on, we are New Yorkers, right?
Yeah.
We're tough. We're gritty.
Yeah!
We're adaptable!
Yeah!!
And we are not going to lay down like a bunch of Melmans!
No, we're not. [horn blaring] Oh. Gloria.
That was not me, OK? That was the boat. The boat!
The boat? The boat's come back for us! Come on, guys, we got to flag it down.
[Marty, Melman, and Gloria race to the beach where they saw the boat, blaring harder and louder]
There it is!
Hey, over here!
Over here!
Over here! Over here! Yo! Yo! Yo!
Melman, give me a lift. Hurry up! Lift me up!
Help! Help! Help!
Oh, my neck. My neck. My neck. You guys. Over here!
Over here! Melman! Steady. This way!
Over here!
You have no idea how much this hurts.
Hey, boat! We're over here! [the three zoo animals are thuds]
Look! It's turning! It's coming back! IT'S COMING BACK! IT'S COMING BACK!!
Yes! This way! Come on! Come on, baby! WHOO!! Yes, you guys!
You guys flag down that boat. I’ll go get Alex.
Aw, come on. I know Alex. He hears we're rescued; he'll snap right out of it.
The people are coming. They can help us.
Melman's right. The people will know what to do. Now, come on. We got to flag down that boat.
[The boat already approaches near the beach with a horn blaring to knock back the trees. And finally, the anchor crashes onto the sand as the penguins land on the beach.]
Now, this is more like it.
You?! Oh, ma-- Where are the people?!
We killed them and ate their livers. [Gloria looks horrified] Gotcha, didn't I? Just kidding, doll, the people are fine. They're on a slow boat to China. Hey! I know you two. Where's that psychotic lion, and our monochromatic friend?
[He and Gloria look back to see Marty missing]
Marty? He's ri... Where'd he go? I thought he was right behind us.
Well, boys, our monochromatic friend's in danger. Looks like we have a job to do. [Private brings out a notebook and a red crayon] Captain's log: Embarking into a hostile environment. Kowalski, we'll need to win the hearts and minds of the natives. Rico, we'll need special tactical equipment. We're going to face extreme peril. Private probably won't survive. [a red crayon snaps, Private looks horrified]
Shame on you, Maurice! Can you not see that you have insulted the freak? [to Alex] You must tell me, who the heck are you?
I'm Alex. THE Alex. And this is Melman, Marty and Gloria.
And where exactly are you giants from, Hmm?
We're from New York, and--
All hail the New York Giants!
[to Marty, Melman and Gloria]
All right, enough is enough. I say we just ask these BOZOS where the people are!
Excuse me? We bozos have the people, of course!
You do? That's good to know.
Hey! The bozos have the people!
They're up there.
[points to some human skeletons hanging from parachutes snagged on the branches of a large tree]
Don't you love the people? Not a very lively bunch though.
Oh. So, do you have any... LIVE people?
Uh, no. Only dead ones.
Man, if we had a lot of live people, it wouldn't be called the wild, would it?
The wild?!
Hold on a second there, fuzzbucket. You mean the live-in-a-mud-hut, wipe-yourself-with-a-leaf type wild?
Who wipes? Ha ha!
[staggers around with the crate]
Get me out of this thing right now! Hello? Somebody? Hello? Somebody? Hello? Somebody?
I just saw 26 blatant health code violations.
I'm lovin' San Diego. This place is off the chizain.
Twenty-seven!
I like them! I like them! Before I even met them I liked them!
Yes, yes! We get it--
You HATE them compared to how much I like them--
QUIET, YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!
News Reporter
Last night's dramatic incident in Grand Central is an example of what animal rights wackos have been shouting for years: The animals clearly don't belong in captivity. Now they are to be sent back to their natural habitat, where they will live their lives in the freedom they so clearly desire.
Guard
[audience screams and runs away]
He's awake! HE'S AWAKE!!!!
Guard #2
[screams]
News Reporter
[the Guards shoot more tranquilizer darts with different colors off-screen, the blue one lands in the middle of his hand while the human hits the streetlamp, faints and crawls away]
DO SOMETHING!!!!
Oh, man.
[Alex's dream sequence plays again but this time, it’s sped up.]
Police Horse
What you got to do is go straight back down West 42nd.
Uh-huh.
Police Horse
It's on your left after Vanderbilt.
Okay.
Police Horse
If you hit the Chrysler Building, you've gone too far.
Uh-huh. Thanks a lot, officer. [walks]
Police Horse
Hey! [Marty looks back] Wait for the light! [Marty walks backwards a bit while realizing his mistake] Freak.
Police radio
Did you say "zebra"?
Police Officer
Yeah, yeah, that's right. A zebra. Right in front of me. Can I shoot it?
Police radio
Negative.
Police Officer
Then I'm going to need some backup.
The Fossas
Huh? [amazed by a flare Skipper has fired] Ooh. Foosa aaahh. Foosa ooh. Foosa aaahh.
[As the fossas were distracted by the glow of the flare, the penguins' army crawled right under their noses. Rico then grabbed a pike and used it like a pole to flip himself over the steering wheel of the cargo ship that Private had brought over. When he landed the pike in the hole at the centre of the steering wheel, Kowalski pulled out a plate and handed it to Skipper. Private then landed on the plate, and Kowalski brought out a can of whipped cream, which Skipper sprayed onto Private's head.]
[Then Rico up chucks a cherry, that plops onto Privates whipped cream covered head.]
Come and get it!
Foosa-Huh?
[Then, as the fossa were about to eat Private, Skipper, Kowalski, and Rico spun the wheel, knocking out many fossa in the process. And as Gloria, Marty, and Melman were amazed by it, other fossa came up from behind, startling them; then more showed up in front; then three others came out from a hollow log.] [Using Melman’s head as a hammer, she whacked them on their heads]
Take that!
Foosa ow!
There's too many of them, Skipper!
It's been a real pleasure serving with you, boys.
Close those eyes.
Why do I have to close my eyes?
Do it.
Yeah. They're closed.
Tighter.
Yes, sir.
No peeking.
Alright. They're closed.
Rico.
[takes the fish; Does a karate chop with two knives; carves; slaps the bottom of the fish turns into 12 sushi fish and drops]
Hai. [the tail drops on his head; the knife takes a sushi fish]
Open that hatch.
Aah…
[the sushi fish puts inside Alex's mouth]
Fire in the hole. [closes the Alex's mouth and chews] Now chew. Chew like you mean it! Savor it.
Mmm… Mmm.
And?
Well?
Pretty good, right?
There's always Plan B. [Mort laughs]
Mmm… Mmm. This is better than steak. I love it! I love it!
The kitty loves the fishy. [Kowalski and Private got a high-5 as everyone cheers]
Well, I propose a toast. Now, he may be a pain in the butt at times... And trust me, I know. But this cat proved to me without a doubt that his heart is bigger than his stomach. To Alex.
Everyone
To Alex!
Well, what do you guys think? Should we head back to New York?
I don't know, Marty. I mean, this is your dream. You sure you want to leave?
I don't care where we are. As long as we're together, it doesn't matter to me.
Well, in that case... [turns to Rico] Yo. Rico. I'll take 300 orders to go!
Hai.
Yes, yes. But before you leave, I have an announcement to make. So shut up, everyone, please. Thank you. After much deep and profound brain things inside my head, I have decided to thank you for bringing peace to our home. [presents Alex with his crown] And to make you feel good, I'm gonna give you this lovely parting gift.
Oh, no, really. I can't take your crown.
That's OK, I've got a bigger crown! It's got a gecko on it! Look at him shake! Go, Stevie, go!
Quadruped! Sprechen sie Englisch?
I sprechen.
What continent is this?
Manhattan.
Hoover Dam! We're still in New York! Abort! Dive! Dive! Dive!
Hey, wait! You in the tux! What are you guys doing?
We're digging to Antartica! [Skipper slaps him]
Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend? Do you ever see any penguins walking free around New York City? Of course not. We don't belong here, it's just not natural. This is all some kind of whacked-out conspiracy. We're going to the wide open spaces of Antartica. To the wild.
The wild? You can actually go there-- that's sounds great!
You didn't see anything... right?
Yes, sir! I mean no, sir!
[Alex and Marty are now doing the Tarzan Yell as they enter the wild party.]
Whoo! Man! I feel... [laughing] different! Noogie, noogie, noogie. Noogie, noogie, noogie! Whoo! Kind of charged up or something. Hoo!
Ah, Marty, Marty, Marty! Like you said, baby.
It's Crack-a-lacking. Ain't that right, Melman? Whoo!
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm in heaven.
You see, Maurice, Alex is now our friend and the fossas are nowhere to be seen. It could be said that my plan is working in a very good working kind of way.
Yeah!
Alex. You got to try some of this.
Yeah! You should see his act. Come on, Alex. Why don't you show him some of your act?
Everyone (sans Alex)
[Alex comes to Marty's, sign says "No Soliciting"] [laughing]
I know. And then... [Alex knocks on the door] Shh. Shh. It's him.
Who is it?
It's the pizza man. Who the heck do you think it is?
Can I come to the fun side?
You know, I've been kind of a jerk, Marty. But I've been thinking about what you said, and... I'm sorry.
[Closes the door. But then unlocks and opens the door!]
Welcome to Casa del Wild! Take a load off. Hey, hey, wipe your feet.
Alex!
Very impressive.
Hey, have a drink. It's on the house.
[Drinks the water from the coconut shell, but it's seawater instead of potable water and he spits it out!]
This is seawater.
Oh, you don't swallow it. It's just temporary till the plumbing's done. Hey, y'all look hungry. How would you like some of nature's goodness?
You have food?
The Fun Side Special, coming up. Seaweed on a stick.
Seaweed?
On a stick. Don't love it till you try it.
That's unbelievable!
Mmm… So good.
Well, thanks. It does kind of hit the spot, doesn't it? [Without roasting it, Alex coughs up seaweed, because he wants steak as a carnivore.] Well, maybe it could use a little lemon.
No, it's great. It's really great. Doesn't get any better than this.
Oh, but it does. Check this out.
[He pulls down a lever, opening up the roof to show a view of the stars.]
Wow! Would you look at that?
It's like billions and billions of helicopters.
It's a shooting star. Make a wish. Quick!
Ooh! How about a thick, juicy steak?
You know what, Alex? I promise you I'm going to find you a steak tomorrow if it kills me.
Thanks, Marty.
I think I'm gonna hit the sack too. Sweet dreams, everyone.
[Alex dreams of licking steak] [echoes]
Alex. [Alex is surprised; accidentally licks Marty as the others are shocked and confused] What are you doing?
27, 28, 29, 30. Hmm. 30. 30 black and only 29 white. Looks like you're black with white stripes after all. Dilemma solved. Good night. [Fakes sleeping.]
Marty?
Yeah! Talk to me, buddy.
Oh, Marty! You're here!
What's going on? Are you OK?
Alex? Marty, is that you?
Gloria!
You're here, too!
I am loving the sound of your voice!
What is going on?
Come on! Melman, Melman, Melman! Melman, Melman, Melman! Wake up!
Is that Melman?
Are you OK?
Yeah. No, I’m fine.
Marty. I'm thinking of a song.
Alex. Please. Not now.
Oh, yes. It's a wonderful song. I think you're familiar with it. [scatting]
Oh, no. Oh, no, you don't. No, no, no. I'm not listening! Lalalalalalalalalalala!
♪ Start spreadin' the news ♪
I don't know you!
♪ I'm leaving today! We are a great big part of it ♪
Come on. You know you know the words.
New York.
Both
♪ New York! ♪
See? Mr. Grumpy Stripes! We make a great team.
Yeah, here we are. White sandy beaches, cleverly simulated natural environment, wide-open enclosures. I'm telling you, this could be the San Diego Zoo.
San Diego? What could be worse than San Diego?
I don't know. This place is crackalackin'! Oh, I could hang here. I could hang here.
We're just going to find the people, get checked in and have this mess straightened out.
Oh, great. This is just great. San Diego. Now I'll have to compete with Shamu and his smug little grin. I can't top that? Can't top it!
Maybe I should go to law school.