Private
[to the Octopi]
Come on, then. You want to go? You want some argy-bargy?
Private
Private
[repeated line]
Crikey!
Private
[first words]
Hello! Are you my family?
Private
If the event of a water emergency, place the life vest over your head and kiss your-- [pulls on tab, causing life vest to explode] goodbye.
Private
May I kiss the bride, Skipper?
Private
In case of a loss of cabin pressure, place the mask over your face [puts on mask & begins speaking indistinctly] to hide your terrified expression away from the other passengers.
Private
Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
Private
You didn't see anything... RIGHT?
Private
You bit the hand, Marty! You bit the hand!
Private
[first lines of the film; sees Ted sad]
He looks so sad.
Skipper
Rico, l want that tree up to muster.
Private
Oh, that's perfect! Just the thing for a sad polar bear.
Skipper
Kowalski, analysis.
Kowalski
Adrenaline, sweat and sardines. These tracks are fresh, sir.
Skipper
He's close. I can feel it.
Kowalski
Yule log engaged.
Skipper
All right, boys! Stand by for eggnog!
Kowalski
Aye aye, Skipper!
Rico
EGGNOG!
Skipper
Private?
Private
I'll pass, thank you.
Skipper and Kowalski
[in unison]
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Skipper
Well done, Rico! This guy can really hold his nog.
Skipper
21:10 hours, boys! Engage cranberries! [Rico is playing the "Knife game" at the table] Rico! Not at the table. [noticing a problem] Hold on a second! Something's missing!
Kowalski
Cranberries: check! Eggnog: check!
Skipper
Give me a headcount.
Kowalski
[grabs abacus]
We have three heads, sir!
Skipper
Where's the private?!
Kowalski
Unknown, sir! It would appear that he's [grabs milk carton] missing!
Skipper
[Kowalski shows milk carton with a big 'missing' advert for the private]
Missing? Hoover Dam! Wait, there he is. He just went to bed. [pulls off sheets, revealing a bowling pin underneath] What the...?! [slapping the pin] What have you done with Private? Talk, Mister!
Kowalski
Skipper! Over here!
Skipper
[to pin]
I'll deal with you later.
Kowalski
Oh, no. He must be out there all by himself.
Skipper
He's one of us, men. You all know the Penguin Credo.
Kowalski
Never bathe in hot oil and Bisquick?
Skipper
No. [Rico speaks Japanese gibberish] No, that's the Walrus Credo. It's "Never swim alone." Private's out there all by himself, and we never leave one of our own.
Kowalski and Rico
Oh, yeah.
Skipper
Now let's go.
Private
Oh, that's perfect! Just the thing for a sad polar bear.