Private [first words]
Hello! Are you my family?
3rd most-quoted character in Penguins of Madagascar (2014): in 13 of its 70 quotes
Most scenes with: Skipper (6), Kowalski (5), Classified (2)
Come on, then. You want to go? You want some argy-bargy?
More lines from Private
5 quotes Private Private [gasps]
Cheezy Dibbles!
Private [repeated line]
Crikey!
Private Sorry. I get gassy when I fly.
Private Yes, well, I figured if we could reverse the ray, we can turn everyone back to normal!
Scenes with Private
7 scenes
Skipper, look!
[looks up and sees the breaking news in Chinese on TV, showing that the penguins from each zoo and aquarium are missing around the world]
Huh? Begorrah! Does anyone speak Gaelic?
No, but it looks like Dave's been busy. He's stolen penguins from Guadalajara!
Private Madrid!
Paris!
Athens!
Bangalore!
[Rico starts spitting all of Dave's snow globes out of his mouth within two lines]
Dusseldorf!
Private Osaka!
Rio de Janeiro!
Private Nairobi!
Amsterdam!
Private Baton Rouge!
Dave's snow globe collection.
Don't tell me where he has been. Tell me where he will have has been next. [Rico starts gagging] Wait, what is it, Rico? It's a book! It's a film! It's a play! [tries to understand Rico] First word. Two syllables. Sounds like… Sounds like "huuh"? Sounds like "hyech"! What starts with "hyech"? [Rico spits the last snow globe out. Skipper picks it up] Shanghai.
[looks at the world map on the TV; Dave has not yet arrived in Shanghai]
Dave hasn't been there yet, Skipper. If we hurry, we can still stop him.
Target, 30 yards and closing.
In position, Skipper.
Rico, report.
[Saying "In position"]
For you, Private.
Private Yes, Skipper!
Here's your mermaid costume.
Private What?
We need a diversion. And, frankly, you're the only one who can pull off that look.
Private But I can do more, Skipper. I want to help the team. Really help the team. If you think I'm ready, which I am. Assuming you agree. And perhaps even... if you don't?
I like the moxie, soldier, but right now, I need a tail on that tush and the cutest smile you've got. [Private's smile fades] You trust me, soldier?
Private [downbeat; reluctantly]
Aye, aye, Skipper.
Secure the mermaids and find me... [Sees Dave] David the octopus.
Mission accomplished. High one! [The penguins do their high-one]
Corporal, take our prisoner... the one that belongs to us... into custody. [Corporal pushes the skeleton aside only for the scuba suit he's in to deflate] What?
You melted him!? You birds are sick!
[finds an open sewer hatch leading to the pipes of the tanks, knowing that Dave is loose] (Oh, no.)
He's going in through the pipes!
Private [Having made it to the tank of Mermaid Penguins which Private had been placed into, Dave drains the tank in a whirlpool, taking all the Shanghai penguins] [Trying to swim away from the whirlpool]
Skipper!
Private? Private! You got to get out of there! [Noticing the tentacle is about to grab him] No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Private!
Private! No!
Private [gets pulled into the drain with the other penguins in the tank]
Skipper! No!
Move, move, move! He's got Private! He's getting away. He's getting away!
[The penguins chase down Dave in the North Wind's plane, and the North Wind chases after them]
[as Dave prepares to use his ray on Private; the North Wind and penguins have been captured]
Who's ready to move into live penguin testing?
You point that death ray away from Private right now!
Private It's not a death ray, Skipper! He's gonna turn us into monsters!
Yepper-doo! "And what comes next, Dave?" Invasion! Ahhh! Horrible mutant penguins released on the streets of New York City!
You're the monster!
[angrily]
Yes, I'm the monster! Everyone made that clear to me every day of my entire life. But now, let's see how much everyone loves you when you're the monster!
Private Skipper!
You can't take away Private's cuteness!
He's the cute one! [Rico grunts in agreement] That's his thing!
Private What?
It's all the little guy's got! [Private rolls his eyes]
Hmm, you are super cute. We'd better crank this up. Drew, Barry! More power.
[Private has saved the North Wind from Dave’s henchmen sending them to their doom]
Supper. Well, done, Private!
Good work, malinka.
Yes. Yes. Excellent button-pushing. Complement, praise, etcetera. All right agents, we are back in business. [Private is delighted, yet the North Wind runs in the opposite direction]
Private Wait! Skipper, Kowalski, Rico... all those penguins... they're this way!
So is a massive army of octopi. And as soon as we return to the North Wind Headquarters, grab fresh equipment and work up a smashing new plan we'll come speeding back, and take down Dave.
Private But the penguins are in danger! We have to go now!
Again, "huge army of octopi."
Private So because you failed once, you're just running away?
We did not fail, and we are not running away. We're just, very sensibly regrouping.
Private Skipper wouldn't care! Plan or no, fancy equipment or no. He'd never leave a man behind.
Well, I suppose we can't all be penguins, can we? [North Wind turns to leave]
Private No. [the North Wind looks back] But maybe you should be. [goes on his own to save his friends]
Private [In a truck, Private finds a mutated Skipper, with a crab arm and swallowing a cat whole]
Skipper! Wait! Hold on! What are you doing?! Skipper! Don't eat that! Skipper, listen. It's me, Private. I've got a plan, but I need your help. I need my Skipper.
Private Yes. That's it.
Private, you're alive!
[The penguins are flying above Liberty Island in New York with the North Wind's jetpacks]
Yeah!
Kowalski! What's our trajectory?
95% certain this will end in massive, flaming disaster!
And the other 5%?
Irrelevant, sir! Jet packs are awesome!
Agreed!
Private Who says penguins can't fly?
Yee-haw! Boo-yah!
