Skipper Dave! Dave! Right! Oh yeah, long time. Uh, how's the wife?
Most-quoted character in Penguins of Madagascar (2014): in 21 of its 70 quotes
Most scenes with: Kowalski (9), Private (6), Dave/Dr. Octavius Brine (3)
You low down, dirty, mangy, filthy, flea-bitten, bum-sniffing, TOILET DRINKER! [slight pause] But... good.
More lines from Skipper
9 quotes Skipper Skipper Well, I don't think I like your attitude, vending machine… or your prices! [in battle stance] Release them!
Skipper Just, uh, smile and wave boys. Smile and wave.
Skipper Ten years ago on this very day, a tiny egg hatched, and our world got a little bit cuter. [Private giggles] So tonight, Private, we celebrate your birthday by infiltrating the United States gold depository at Fort Knox!
Skipper Just like Super Bowl XIX!
Skipper I make my own options. [hits a button, the hatch opens and boxes come flying out with the penguins]
Skipper You mess with the bull, you get the horns, Private. Now hit that machine and get your present.
Skipper Absolutely. First thing Monday.
Skipper Impressive bouncing, boys. Now, then, back to civilization. If we're gonna take Dexter down, we need to know where he's gonna strike next.
Scenes with Skipper
11 scenes
Documentary filmmaker [first lines; narrating]
Antarctica, an inhospitable wasteland. But even here, on the Earth's frozen bottom, we find life. [The wind blows away the snow, revealing an egg and it rolls down the hill] And not just any life… penguins. Joyous, frolicking, waddling, cute and cuddly life. Look at them, tumbling onto their chubby bum-bums. Who could take these frisky snow-clowns...
Skipper [The older penguins almost fall on baby Skipper, Rico and Kowalski, who move out of the way] [interrupting the narration]
Seriously? Does anyone even know where we're marching to?
Penguin #1
Who (knows, who) cares?
Penguin #2
I question nothing.
Penguin #3 and #4
Me, too.
Skipper Well, fine. We'll just fly to the front of the line and see for ourselves. Kowalski, Rico, engage aerial surveillance.
Skipper [looks at his wings]
Oh, well, what's the point of these?
Skipper [Rico seems to have an idea and hits Skipper's wing in some sort of high five.]
Whoa, I like it! Hey, this could be our thing! What're we gonna call it? Let's call it the, uh... high one.
Skipper [An egg rolls past the trio.]
Hey, anybody see that? That's an egg! Is somebody gonna go get it?
Penguin #5
We can't do that.
Skipper Why not?
Penguin #6
Well, it's a dangerous world out there and we're just penguins. You know, nothing but cute and cuddly.
Penguin #7
Yeah. Why do you think there are always documentary crews filming us?
Penguin #8
[The view zooms out to see two men each with a camera and a microphone for filming.]
Well, sorry, kid. You know, we lose a few eggs every year. It's just nature.
Skipper Oh, right, nature. I guess that makes sense, but something... something deep down in my gut tells me that it just doesn't make any sense at all. You know what? I reject nature! [The other penguins gasp in shock.] Who's with me?!
[With a shout, Skipper goes after the egg, much to Kowalski and Rico's confusion.]
Skipper [The penguins, having been captured by the vending machine, are flown to a submarine in Venice. Skipper looks around from the cage.]
We're behind enemy lines and incredibly thirsty. [throws a bag of Cheesy Dibbles away] Rico, bust us out of this delicious prison.
Skipper [Rico sticks out his tongue holding a paper clip and uses it to unlock the cage door.]
Nice work, Rico. You're a meaningful and valued member of this team.
Skipper [As the penguins exit the cage, Private becomes upset, then looks at the paper clip, takes it and swallows it. Private tries coughing it up, but no success.] [off-screen]
Private, quit lolly-gagging, and regular gagging!
[On a wall monitor in North Wind headquarters, Dave appears, his red eyes up-close, with his tentacle in a fist, he does an evil laugh (after a failed call).]
Dave!
[Everyone glares at Dave as Short Fuse growls at him.]
Greetings, North Wind! I see you've met my old zoo-mates.
Skipper We were never mates. There was no mating.
[shows him the small vial stolen by the penguins]
Turn yourself in, David. You're powerless now that I've stolen your precious Medusa Serum.
Skipper [tries to reach for the vial]
What, you? You didn't steal that!
It's over.
It's over? Then why did I call you? Weird... Oh, maybe it was to show you this! [turns the camera to show the penguins and the North Wind a giant vial containing the serum as two octopuses behold it, much to their shock]
That is a lot of serum for 4 penguins.
Oh, you thought this was just about you four? No. No, no, no, no. We're just getting started. [takes a selfie] Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do some shopping... for revenge! [presses a button to turn off the screen, but nothing happens. He presses it again, but nothing still happens]
Skipper, look!
Skipper [looks up and sees the breaking news in Chinese on TV, showing that the penguins from each zoo and aquarium are missing around the world]
Huh? Begorrah! Does anyone speak Gaelic?
No, but it looks like Dave's been busy. He's stolen penguins from Guadalajara!
Madrid!
Skipper Paris!
Athens!
Skipper Bangalore!
[Rico starts spitting all of Dave's snow globes out of his mouth within two lines]
Dusseldorf!
Osaka!
Rio de Janeiro!
Nairobi!
Skipper Amsterdam!
Baton Rouge!
Skipper Dave's snow globe collection.
Skipper Don't tell me where he has been. Tell me where he will have has been next. [Rico starts gagging] Wait, what is it, Rico? It's a book! It's a film! It's a play! [tries to understand Rico] First word. Two syllables. Sounds like… Sounds like "huuh"? Sounds like "hyech"! What starts with "hyech"? [Rico spits the last snow globe out. Skipper picks it up] Shanghai.
[looks at the world map on the TV; Dave has not yet arrived in Shanghai]
Dave hasn't been there yet, Skipper. If we hurry, we can still stop him.
Skipper Target, 30 yards and closing.
In position, Skipper.
Skipper Rico, report.
[Saying "In position"]
Skipper For you, Private.
Yes, Skipper!
Skipper Here's your mermaid costume.
What?
Skipper We need a diversion. And, frankly, you're the only one who can pull off that look.
But I can do more, Skipper. I want to help the team. Really help the team. If you think I'm ready, which I am. Assuming you agree. And perhaps even... if you don't?
Skipper I like the moxie, soldier, but right now, I need a tail on that tush and the cutest smile you've got. [Private's smile fades] You trust me, soldier?
Secure the mermaids and find me... [Sees Dave] David the octopus.
Skipper Mission accomplished. High one! [The penguins do their high-one]
Corporal, take our prisoner... the one that belongs to us... into custody. [Corporal pushes the skeleton aside only for the scuba suit he's in to deflate] What?
You melted him!? You birds are sick!
[finds an open sewer hatch leading to the pipes of the tanks, knowing that Dave is loose] (Oh, no.)
He's going in through the pipes!
[Having made it to the tank of Mermaid Penguins which Private had been placed into, Dave drains the tank in a whirlpool, taking all the Shanghai penguins] [Trying to swim away from the whirlpool]
Skipper!
Skipper Private? Private! You got to get out of there! [Noticing the tentacle is about to grab him] No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Private!
Skipper Private! No!
Skipper Move, move, move! He's got Private! He's getting away. He's getting away!
[The penguins chase down Dave in the North Wind's plane, and the North Wind chases after them]
Whoo! Way to go, boss! That's North Wind, sucker!
Nicely done.
Skipper La-di, blah, blah, blah, blah. A good plan is about more than effecty stuff and... vocabulary words.
Classified And you, you... you certainly know a good plan, I mean, your operation in Shanghai allowed Dave to escape with... your boy. [Successfully guilt-tripping Skipper] I've never lost a member of my team. It must feel... awful. Can't imagine the guilt, the regret, the feeling that, I don't know, that it should have been you. [Skipper stares down at a pebble, which unfolds to look like Private]
All for penguin plan? [Kowalski and Rico raise their hands] All for North Wind plan? [The North Wind votes, as well as Skipper]
Skipper His... his is better.
What?
Skipper I'm sorry, boys, but I can't lead you this time.
But... we're a team, and... and you're our skipper, Skipper. We don't... we don't need these guys.
Skipper No, Kowalski, but Private does. I think... it's time we leave it to the professionals.
[as Dave prepares to use his ray on Private; the North Wind and penguins have been captured]
Who's ready to move into live penguin testing?
Skipper You point that death ray away from Private right now!
It's not a death ray, Skipper! He's gonna turn us into monsters!
Yepper-doo! "And what comes next, Dave?" Invasion! Ahhh! Horrible mutant penguins released on the streets of New York City!
You're the monster!
[angrily]
Yes, I'm the monster! Everyone made that clear to me every day of my entire life. But now, let's see how much everyone loves you when you're the monster!
Skipper!
Skipper You can't take away Private's cuteness!
He's the cute one! [Rico grunts in agreement] That's his thing!
What?
Skipper It's all the little guy's got! [Private rolls his eyes]
Hmm, you are super cute. We'd better crank this up. Drew, Barry! More power.
Skipper [After everyone thought Private was killed] [gets a hold of one of Private's floating feathers]
Private…
Oh, no.
I disintegrated him. That wasn't supposed to happen.
You maniac! You blew him up! [Rico whimpers]
Skipper No...
[In a truck, Private finds a mutated Skipper, with a crab arm and swallowing a cat whole]
Skipper! Wait! Hold on! What are you doing?! Skipper! Don't eat that! Skipper, listen. It's me, Private. I've got a plan, but I need your help. I need my Skipper.
Skipper [sees flashbacks of Private from the past]
Private...?
Yes. That's it.
Skipper Private, you're alive!
[The penguins are flying above Liberty Island in New York with the North Wind's jetpacks]
Yeah!
Skipper Kowalski! What's our trajectory?
95% certain this will end in massive, flaming disaster!
Skipper And the other 5%?
Irrelevant, sir! Jet packs are awesome!
Skipper Agreed!
Who says penguins can't fly?
Skipper Yee-haw! Boo-yah!
