WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You think this is over? I'm just getting started! Open this right now!
Skipper
Tom McGrath · 21 quotes
Kowalski
Chris Miller · 16 quotes
Private
Christopher Knights · 13 quotes
Dave/Dr. Octavius Brine
John Malkovich · 12 quotes
Corporal
Peter Stormare · 5 quotes
Eva
Annet Mahendru · 5 quotes
Rico
Conrad Vernon · 5 quotes
See also
4 quotes
Short Fuse
Ken Jeong · 4 quotes
Classified
Benedict Cumberbatch · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Skipper & Kowalski (9), Skipper & Private (6), Private & Kowalski (5)
Penguins of Madagascar quotes
Page 1 of 5Secure the mermaids and find me... [Sees Dave] David the octopus.
Mission accomplished. High one! [The penguins do their high-one]
Corporal, take our prisoner... the one that belongs to us... into custody. [Corporal pushes the skeleton aside only for the scuba suit he's in to deflate] What?
You melted him!? You birds are sick!
[finds an open sewer hatch leading to the pipes of the tanks, knowing that Dave is loose] (Oh, no.)
He's going in through the pipes!
[Having made it to the tank of Mermaid Penguins which Private had been placed into, Dave drains the tank in a whirlpool, taking all the Shanghai penguins] [Trying to swim away from the whirlpool]
Skipper!
Private? Private! You got to get out of there! [Noticing the tentacle is about to grab him] No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Private!
Private! No!
Move, move, move! He's got Private! He's getting away. He's getting away!
[The penguins chase down Dave in the North Wind's plane, and the North Wind chases after them]
Now... that I finally have my revenge, I feel... empty. As if, what I needed all along was... MORE REVENGE! In fact, Robin, write this down.
[Dave runs off, ripping off his human disguise back to his octopus appearance]
Helen, hunt them down! William, hurt them! Halle, bury them! Hugh, Jack, man the battle stations! Kevin, bake on! We're still gonna need that victory cake!
Documentary filmmaker
[first lines; narrating]
Antarctica, an inhospitable wasteland. But even here, on the Earth's frozen bottom, we find life. [The wind blows away the snow, revealing an egg and it rolls down the hill] And not just any life… penguins. Joyous, frolicking, waddling, cute and cuddly life. Look at them, tumbling onto their chubby bum-bums. Who could take these frisky snow-clowns...
[The older penguins almost fall on baby Skipper, Rico and Kowalski, who move out of the way] [interrupting the narration]
Seriously? Does anyone even know where we're marching to?
Penguin #1
Who (knows, who) cares?
Penguin #2
I question nothing.
Penguin #3 and #4
Me, too.
Well, fine. We'll just fly to the front of the line and see for ourselves. Kowalski, Rico, engage aerial surveillance.
[Rico seems to have an idea and hits Skipper's wing in some sort of high five.]
Whoa, I like it! Hey, this could be our thing! What're we gonna call it? Let's call it the, uh... high one.
[An egg rolls past the trio.]
Hey, anybody see that? That's an egg! Is somebody gonna go get it?
Penguin #5
We can't do that.
Why not?
Penguin #6
Well, it's a dangerous world out there and we're just penguins. You know, nothing but cute and cuddly.
Penguin #7
Yeah. Why do you think there are always documentary crews filming us?
Penguin #8
[The view zooms out to see two men each with a camera and a microphone for filming.]
Well, sorry, kid. You know, we lose a few eggs every year. It's just nature.
Oh, right, nature. I guess that makes sense, but something... something deep down in my gut tells me that it just doesn't make any sense at all. You know what? I reject nature! [The other penguins gasp in shock.] Who's with me?!
[With a shout, Skipper goes after the egg, much to Kowalski and Rico's confusion.]
Skipper, look!
[looks up and sees the breaking news in Chinese on TV, showing that the penguins from each zoo and aquarium are missing around the world]
Huh? Begorrah! Does anyone speak Gaelic?
No, but it looks like Dave's been busy. He's stolen penguins from Guadalajara!
Madrid!
Paris!
Athens!
Bangalore!
[Rico starts spitting all of Dave's snow globes out of his mouth within two lines]
Dusseldorf!
Osaka!
Rio de Janeiro!
Nairobi!
Amsterdam!
Baton Rouge!
Dave's snow globe collection.
Don't tell me where he has been. Tell me where he will have has been next. [Rico starts gagging] Wait, what is it, Rico? It's a book! It's a film! It's a play! [tries to understand Rico] First word. Two syllables. Sounds like… Sounds like "huuh"? Sounds like "hyech"! What starts with "hyech"? [Rico spits the last snow globe out. Skipper picks it up] Shanghai.
[looks at the world map on the TV; Dave has not yet arrived in Shanghai]
Dave hasn't been there yet, Skipper. If we hurry, we can still stop him.
New York Reporter
[in the harbors of New York City along with a crowd]
Breaking news, the penguins have been found! Okay, according to my notes, genetic researcher, Dr. Octavius Brine, has found the penguins and is bringing them here to New York's Battery Park. The penguins are coming back! Oh my gosh, look!
[rising from his sub out of the water]
Penguin lovers of the world! Guess who I found. It wasn't easy, but seeing these penguins get what they derserve will make it worthwhile.
New York Reporter
What a weird thing to say. I'm so excited!
Yay! Your newly improved penguins!
[The doors to the sub open letting out green smoke, showing the captured penguins including Skipper, Kowalski and Rico having successfully been mutated by the Medusa Serum, now not so cute looking with scary appearances. The humans gasp in horror]
Whoo! Way to go, boss! That's North Wind, sucker!
Nicely done.
La-di, blah, blah, blah, blah. A good plan is about more than effecty stuff and... vocabulary words.
Classified And you, you... you certainly know a good plan, I mean, your operation in Shanghai allowed Dave to escape with... your boy. [Successfully guilt-tripping Skipper] I've never lost a member of my team. It must feel... awful. Can't imagine the guilt, the regret, the feeling that, I don't know, that it should have been you. [Skipper stares down at a pebble, which unfolds to look like Private]
All for penguin plan? [Kowalski and Rico raise their hands] All for North Wind plan? [The North Wind votes, as well as Skipper]
His... his is better.
What?
I'm sorry, boys, but I can't lead you this time.
But... we're a team, and... and you're our skipper, Skipper. We don't... we don't need these guys.
No, Kowalski, but Private does. I think... it's time we leave it to the professionals.
Target, 30 yards and closing.
In position, Skipper.
Rico, report.
[Saying "In position"]
For you, Private.
Yes, Skipper!
Here's your mermaid costume.
What?
We need a diversion. And, frankly, you're the only one who can pull off that look.
But I can do more, Skipper. I want to help the team. Really help the team. If you think I'm ready, which I am. Assuming you agree. And perhaps even... if you don't?
I like the moxie, soldier, but right now, I need a tail on that tush and the cutest smile you've got. [Private's smile fades] You trust me, soldier?
[After everyone thought Private was killed] [gets a hold of one of Private's floating feathers]
Private…
Oh, no.
I disintegrated him. That wasn't supposed to happen.
You maniac! You blew him up! [Rico whimpers]
No...
[as Dave prepares to use his ray on Private; the North Wind and penguins have been captured]
Who's ready to move into live penguin testing?
You point that death ray away from Private right now!
It's not a death ray, Skipper! He's gonna turn us into monsters!
Yepper-doo! "And what comes next, Dave?" Invasion! Ahhh! Horrible mutant penguins released on the streets of New York City!
You're the monster!
[angrily]
Yes, I'm the monster! Everyone made that clear to me every day of my entire life. But now, let's see how much everyone loves you when you're the monster!
Skipper!
You can't take away Private's cuteness!
He's the cute one! [Rico grunts in agreement] That's his thing!
What?
It's all the little guy's got! [Private rolls his eyes]
Hmm, you are super cute. We'd better crank this up. Drew, Barry! More power.
[In a truck, Private finds a mutated Skipper, with a crab arm and swallowing a cat whole]
Skipper! Wait! Hold on! What are you doing?! Skipper! Don't eat that! Skipper, listen. It's me, Private. I've got a plan, but I need your help. I need my Skipper.
Yes. That's it.
Private, you're alive!
[On a wall monitor in North Wind headquarters, Dave appears, his red eyes up-close, with his tentacle in a fist, he does an evil laugh (after a failed call).]
Dave!
[Everyone glares at Dave as Short Fuse growls at him.]
Greetings, North Wind! I see you've met my old zoo-mates.
We were never mates. There was no mating.
[shows him the small vial stolen by the penguins]
Turn yourself in, David. You're powerless now that I've stolen your precious Medusa Serum.
It's over.
It's over? Then why did I call you? Weird... Oh, maybe it was to show you this! [turns the camera to show the penguins and the North Wind a giant vial containing the serum as two octopuses behold it, much to their shock]
That is a lot of serum for 4 penguins.
Oh, you thought this was just about you four? No. No, no, no, no. We're just getting started. [takes a selfie] Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do some shopping... for revenge! [presses a button to turn off the screen, but nothing happens. He presses it again, but nothing still happens]
[Private has saved the North Wind from Dave’s henchmen sending them to their doom]
Supper. Well, done, Private!
Good work, malinka.
Yes. Yes. Excellent button-pushing. Complement, praise, etcetera. All right agents, we are back in business. [Private is delighted, yet the North Wind runs in the opposite direction]
Wait! Skipper, Kowalski, Rico... all those penguins... they're this way!
So is a massive army of octopi. And as soon as we return to the North Wind Headquarters, grab fresh equipment and work up a smashing new plan we'll come speeding back, and take down Dave.
But the penguins are in danger! We have to go now!
Again, "huge army of octopi."
So because you failed once, you're just running away?
We did not fail, and we are not running away. We're just, very sensibly regrouping.
Skipper wouldn't care! Plan or no, fancy equipment or no. He'd never leave a man behind.
Well, I suppose we can't all be penguins, can we? [North Wind turns to leave]
No. [the North Wind looks back] But maybe you should be. [goes on his own to save his friends]
[The penguins are flying above Liberty Island in New York with the North Wind's jetpacks]
Yeah!
Kowalski! What's our trajectory?
95% certain this will end in massive, flaming disaster!
And the other 5%?
Irrelevant, sir! Jet packs are awesome!
Agreed!
Who says penguins can't fly?
Yee-haw! Boo-yah!
[The penguins, having been captured by the vending machine, are flown to a submarine in Venice. Skipper looks around from the cage.]
We're behind enemy lines and incredibly thirsty. [throws a bag of Cheesy Dibbles away] Rico, bust us out of this delicious prison.
[Rico sticks out his tongue holding a paper clip and uses it to unlock the cage door.]
Nice work, Rico. You're a meaningful and valued member of this team.
[As the penguins exit the cage, Private becomes upset, then looks at the paper clip, takes it and swallows it. Private tries coughing it up, but no success.] [off-screen]
Private, quit lolly-gagging, and regular gagging!