John Malkovich movie quotes

View Quote "It's not difficult to surmise Nathan's feelings towards killing these guards; and my own proclivities are, uh, well-known and often-lamented facts of penal lore, but what I'm wondering is why you have any say in it at all?"

View Quote (singing) "Oh, nothing makes me sadder than the agent lost his bladder in the... Ai-ai-airplane..."

View Quote "Before I kill you, Poe, I just want you to know that the last thing that little Casey Poe ever gets to smell will be my stinking breath."

View Quote It has everything to do with it. The king is a dog. A dog and a coward.

View Quote One for all. All for one.

View Quote Your eyes ask too much.

View Quote Clearly, the aptly-named English is a fool.

View Quote [furious because his coronation has been interupted by English] All this stupid little country has to do is stand in line and do what it's told for one miserable day! But can it do that? My fragrant French ARSE it can!

View Quote Johnny English: [picks up a pen on the secretary's desk] This reminds me of the old service issue ballpoint. I remember every agent used to carry a pen that looked just like this. Completely innocent to the untrained eye but, click it twice... [clicks the pen twice and a missile shoots out of the pen and hits the secretary, who collapses]

View Quote Do you know how easily I could kill you, Frank? Do you know how many times I watched you go in and out of that apartment? You are still alive because I have allowed you to live so you show me some GODDAMN RESPECT! [slams phone down]

View Quote Mitch Leary: The irony is so thick you could choke on it.
Frank Horrigan: There's no ****in' irony, Mitch.
Mitch Leary: Think, Frank. Think. The same government that trained me to kill trained you to protect. Yet now you want to kill me while up on that roof I protected you. They're gonna write books about us, Frank.

View Quote Frank Horrigan: Take my hand. If you don't, you'll die.
Mitch Leary: You want to save me, Frank?
Frank Horrigan: To be completely fair and honest with you, no. But it's my job.

View Quote The humans know me as Dr. Octavius Brine. Renowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives… but you know me by a different, much older name. A name perhaps you hope you'd never hear again. A phantom! A shadow of a former life! I... am... [a purple octopus emerges from the costume of Dr. Brine] DAVE!

View Quote Charlize, they're on the ray! Helen, hunt them down! William, hurt them! Halle, bury them! Hugh, Jack! Man the battle stations! Kevin, bake on! We're still going to need that victory cake!

View Quote WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You think this is over? I'm just getting started! Open this right now!

View Quote Hold my watch, because if it breaks, I'll kill everyone on this train.

View Quote Jonathan Trevanny: Jesus, this waiting! I can't stand this waiting.
Tom Ripley: When I was a little boy, I waited on the beach for hours for my parents to come back from a boat ride. They drowned. [pause] I waited forever.

View Quote Luisa Harari: [about Jonathan] He's got leukaemia.
Tom Ripley: Is drunken pomposity a symptom?
Luisa Harari: No. He's just English.

View Quote [After blowing up an assassin who insulted him] "Old man" my ass!

View Quote I never thought I'd say this again...I am getting the pig!!

View Quote [as he and Frank run from Moldovan Ground Forces] I told you something bad was going to happen!

View Quote I ended by falling on my knees and pledging her eternal love. And do you know that, at that time, and for several hours afterwards, I actually meant it.

View Quote And it's not that I want to have you. All I want is to deserve you.

View Quote Vicomte de Valmont: Surely I've explained to you before how much I enjoy watching the battle between love and virtue.
Marquise de Merteuil: What concerns me is that you seem to enjoy watching it much more than you used to enjoy winning it.
Vicomte de Valmont: All in good time.
Marquise de Merteuil: The century is drawing to its close.

View Quote Just like a young man coming in for a quickie. I feel so unsatisfied.

View Quote Kid's got alligator blood.

View Quote Mr. son of a bitch! Let's play some cards!

View Quote I'm going to tell you what happened and I'm going to keep on telling you every night, right here, until somebody does something about it.

View Quote Briegleb: The Lord works in mysterious ways, Mrs. Collins.
Collins: Boy, does he ever.

View Quote Our thoughts go out again today to Mrs. Christine Collins of Lincoln Heights, whose young son, Walter Collins, disappeared nearly two weeks ago. Though she is not a member of our congregation, we pray for her today as we have every day, since we learned of her plight. On the radio and in the newspapers we are told that the Los Angeles Police Department is doing its very best to reunite mother and child, and I'm sure that that is true. But given its status as the most violent, corrupt and incompetent police department this side of the Rocky Mountains I am not sure it's saying a great deal. Every day, new bodies appear along Mulholland and in the ditches of our cities, the work of Police Chief James Davis and his aptly named Gun Squad. Every day, the needs of honest citizens are put second to greed and personal gain. Every day, this city sinks deeper into a cesspool of fear, intimidation and corruption. Once the City of Angels, Los Angeles has become a place where our protectors have become our brutalizers. Where to be the law is to be above the law.

View Quote Every man loves, Orson. Or has loved.

View Quote Herman Mankiewicz: What about Marion?
Orson Welles: She's just another piece in his collection. Another animal in his zoo.
Herman Mankiewicz: Well to Hearst, that is love. "I love you, I built you a beautiful cage."

View Quote Orson Welles: [Referring to San Simeon] So how big is this monstrosity?
Herman Mankiewicz: The estate? Half the size of Rhode Island.
Orson Welles: You're kidding.
Herman Mankiewicz: No, it's the place God would have built if he had the money.

View Quote As long as I am king, disloyalty will be punishable by death.

View Quote When they learn that the legend is real, they will challenge me.

View Quote Gather my army and follow them(...) leave no one alive.

View Quote Jim: We'll have to leave the camp.
Basie: That's the idea, Jim. First one side feeds you and the other side tries to get you killed, then it's turned around; it's all timing.

View Quote Basie: Jim, didn't I teach you anything?
Jim: Yes. You taught me that people will do anything for a potato.

View Quote Basie: What did you say your name was boy?
Jim: Jamie and I'm building a man-flying kite and writing a book called Contract Bridge.
Basie: Jim: a new name for a new life.

View Quote I can't eat eggs, someone told me they shrink with fright when you cook them.

View Quote Anything I eat's gotta be absolutely dead. That is why I can never eat an oyster. I read somewhere that they put that lemon juice on them just to stun them. What's the difference?

View Quote Al Rockoff: It bothers me that you let Pran stay in Cambodia because you wanted to win that **** award and you knew you needed him.
Sydney Schanberg: I had no idea that-
Al Rockoff: The **** you didn't! The **** you didn't!

View Quote It's my head, Schwartz! It's my head!

View Quote That portal is mine, and it must be sealed forever.

View Quote I have been to the dark side. I have seen a world that no man should see.

View Quote You're much more intelligent than you appear to be, Lieutenant. Must be a big advantage in your field. In my field, everyone was always so desperate to seem cleverer than they were.

View Quote General Timms: These tiny particles of matter, which are so small that no one's ever seen them - never - they contain enough energy to blow up this house, an entire city, every person on Earth. Now that is inconceivable.
Hoover: General, I really don't think much about those things. I'd probably see too much.
General Timms: What do you see?
Hoover: People dead before their time.
General Timms: That's the history of the world, Lieutenant. Some people die before their time so that others can live; it's the cornerstone of civilization, uh… war, religion, democracy… a hundred die so that a thousand may live.
Hoover: Well, General, I take 'em one at a time.