Pascal Sauvage [furious because his coronation has been interupted by English]
All this stupid little country has to do is stand in line and do what it's told for one miserable day! But can it do that? My fragrant French ARSE it can!
2nd most-quoted character in Johnny English (2003): in 13 of its 25 quotes
Most scenes with: Johnny English (10), Bough (3)
Clearly, the aptly-named English is a fool.
More lines from Pascal Sauvage
1 quote Pascal Sauvage Scenes with Pascal Sauvage
11 scenes
Lorna Campbell What are you going to do, Johnny? Sit in this grotty flat feeling sorry for yourself, or are you gonna get out there and save your country?
I'm gonna sit in the flat.
Pegasus Everything in order, English?
I think you'll find it's more than just in order, sir. You are now entering the most secure location in the whole of England. [a bomb detonates behind him]
Pegasus It's an unmitigated disaster, English!
I couldn't agree more, sir.
Pegasus Well we need to get these jewels back, and fast! Tell me about this assailant, because when they searched the building later, there was no sign of him.
Well, the man was clearly a professional. He must have escaped while the Queen was being sedated.
Pegasus But he's the only lead we've got, English. Oh, this is Roger from Data Support. He'll produce a likeness based on your description. So tell us, what did this man look like?
Well, he was... big.
Roger Hair colour?
Pegasus Orange?!
And curly. Frizzy, actually. An eye patch, broken nose, very few teeth. Two I would say at the most, and a scar on his cheek... in the shape... of a banana.
Roger Which cheek?
Both cheeks. They sort of met in the middle.
Pegasus Are you sure about this, English?
[Pegasus shows him the likeness; it resembles a cross between a pirate and a clown]
AH! Oh, that's him. An uncanny resemblance.
[picks up a pen on the secretary's desk]
This reminds me of the old service issue ballpoint. I remember every agent used to carry a pen that looked just like this. Completely innocent to the untrained eye but, click it twice... [clicks the pen twice and a missile shoots out of the pen and hits the secretary, who collapses]
Are you all right, sir?
Yes, I landed on something quite soft.
That was me, sir.
Oh, good.
How?
The Benodin monks of the Al Magreb Mountains developed a system of sonic chanting.
I see, sir. And?
The sound of their chanting would bounce back off any obstacles, and using their highly tuned ears they could paint a mental picture of the path ahead.
Brilliant.
However, you must always sing in E-flat.
[singing]
E-E-E-E flat, E-E-E flat, E-flaaaaaaat! Thaaaaank you for the music, the songs I'm singing--
Is it working, sir?
Extremely well, thank you.
Lorna Campbell [watching Sauvage, who Johnny thinks is a waiter, standing just behind him]
You obviously haven't met our host, Monsieur Sauvage.
No, thank God! You know, I think I'd rather have my bottom impaled on a giant cactus than exchange pleasantries with that jumped-up Frenchman. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing the French should be allowed to host is an invasion.
Pascal Sauvage Pascal Sauvage, jumped-up Frenchman.
Lorna Campbell Lorna Campbell. I've been so looking forward to meeting you.
Pascal Sauvage Enchant?.
Pascal Sauvage [Johnny stammers in embarrassment]
And of course, you're Johnny English. I've heard all about you.
[English has infiltrated a hospital, mistakingly believing it to be Sauvage's HQ]
My God, what have they done to you?
Elderly Man They've taken some of my blood.
Bastards.
[after landing on the wrong building, which happens to be a hospital, and taking the medical staff hostage]
Now, perhaps you could direct me to your evil paymaster.
Doctor What are you talking about?
You know exactly what I'm talking about. Where is the office of Pascal Sauvage?
[everyone looks out of the window; Jonny turns to see a giant SAUVAGE sign on the next building with Bough staring at him from the window] [over com-link]
Are you coming over here in a minute, sir?
Archbishop [the Archbishop prepares to coronate Sauvage]
I crown you--
Archbishop [Johnny swings from the chandelier and forces Sauvage out of the seat, seconds before the Archbishop lowers the crown onto his head]
--King.
[the whole world watches, astonished by what has just happened]
Archbishop [preparing to crown Sauvage]
I crown you--
[Johnny swings on the chandelier and snatches the crown] [fails to grab the banner]
Dammit! [swings back and forth on the wire]
Pascal Sauvage [hands the orb and scepter back to the Archbishop and then springs up from the throne]
Give it back!
No!
Pascal Sauvage That is my crown!
Never!
Pascal Sauvage GIVE IT BACK!!!
Never in a million years, Sauvage!
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