Most scenes together: Johnny English & Pascal Sauvage (10), Johnny English & Bough (3), Pascal Sauvage & Bough (3)
Archbishop I crown you--
Dammit! [swings back and forth on the wire]
Give it back!
No!
That is my crown!
Never!
GIVE IT BACK!!!
Never in a million years, Sauvage!
Are you all right, sir?
Yes, I landed on something quite soft.
That was me, sir.
Oh, good.
This reminds me of the old service issue ballpoint. I remember every agent used to carry a pen that looked just like this. Completely innocent to the untrained eye but, click it twice... [clicks the pen twice and a missile shoots out of the pen and hits the secretary, who collapses]
Lorna Campbell What are you going to do, Johnny? Sit in this grotty flat feeling sorry for yourself, or are you gonna get out there and save your country?
I'm gonna sit in the flat.
Lorna Campbell You obviously haven't met our host, Monsieur Sauvage.
No, thank God! You know, I think I'd rather have my bottom impaled on a giant cactus than exchange pleasantries with that jumped-up Frenchman. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing the French should be allowed to host is an invasion.
Pascal Sauvage, jumped-up Frenchman.
Lorna Campbell Lorna Campbell. I've been so looking forward to meeting you.
Enchant?.
And of course, you're Johnny English. I've heard all about you.
Pegasus Everything in order, English?
I think you'll find it's more than just in order, sir. You are now entering the most secure location in the whole of England. [a bomb detonates behind him]
Pegasus It's an unmitigated disaster, English!
I couldn't agree more, sir.
Pegasus Well we need to get these jewels back, and fast! Tell me about this assailant, because when they searched the building later, there was no sign of him.
Well, the man was clearly a professional. He must have escaped while the Queen was being sedated.
Pegasus But he's the only lead we've got, English. Oh, this is Roger from Data Support. He'll produce a likeness based on your description. So tell us, what did this man look like?
Well, he was... big.
Roger Hair colour?
Pegasus Orange?!
And curly. Frizzy, actually. An eye patch, broken nose, very few teeth. Two I would say at the most, and a scar on his cheek... in the shape... of a banana.
Roger Which cheek?
Both cheeks. They sort of met in the middle.
Pegasus Are you sure about this, English?
AH! Oh, that's him. An uncanny resemblance.
Now, perhaps you could direct me to your evil paymaster.
Doctor What are you talking about?
You know exactly what I'm talking about. Where is the office of Pascal Sauvage?
Are you coming over here in a minute, sir?
My God, what have they done to you?
Elderly Man They've taken some of my blood.
Bastards.
How?
The Benodin monks of the Al Magreb Mountains developed a system of sonic chanting.
I see, sir. And?
The sound of their chanting would bounce back off any obstacles, and using their highly tuned ears they could paint a mental picture of the path ahead.
Brilliant.
However, you must always sing in E-flat.
E-E-E-E flat, E-E-E flat, E-flaaaaaaat! Thaaaaank you for the music, the songs I'm singing--
Is it working, sir?
Extremely well, thank you.
Archbishop I crown you--
Archbishop --King.
[the whole world watches, astonished by what has just happened]
Arrest that man... and lock him away! [the crowd cheers as four guards take Sauvage away]
Have you heard of the chanting of the Bedouin monks of the Almaghreb mountains?
Are you familiar with the shaman throat warblers of the Guatemalan Delta?
A good agent doesn't need gadgets. The only gadgets I've ever needed are a sharp eye, a finely tuned ear and a slightly bigger brain than is strictly necessary.
