Ken Jeong movie quotes

View Quote Where did that anachronistic van come from?

View Quote I think you mean this ain't your daddy's Blue Falcon. Allow me to introduce you to Blue Falcon's large adult son, Brian.

View Quote Shaggy: Dude, hang on. Do you realize where we are?
Scooby: No.
Shaggy: Look around, man. The clean modern aesthetic. The cool blue color palette. We're in…
Scooby: IKEA!
Shaggy: The Falcon Fury! Did you say "IKEA"?
Scooby: Nope. I said "Falcon Fury". Just like you.
[The doors open and Dee Dee Skyes comes to them]
Dee Dee Skyes: Gentlemen, welcome aboard. I'm Dee Dee Skyes, pilot of the Falcon Fury.
Shaggy: Well, we're Scoob—
Dee Dee: Scooby and Shaggy. We know. Follow me.
Scooby: Who sent those robots?
Dee Dee: It's this guy named Dick Dastardly. Shocker! He's a psychotic supervillain. He's trying to [mimics cut-throat] you.
Shaggy: Scoob, somebody thinks we're important enough to [mimics cut-throat].
Scooby: It's nice to be wanted.
Dee Dee: Mm, I hear that.
[They enter the control room as Shaggy and Scooby are amazed at it]
Dee Dee: Yes, I know it's super cool in here, and I would totally let you guys touch random buttons, but they told me we need to move. [The lights turn off] Seriously? We're doing this now?
Shaggy: Ooh, is it him? Is it him?
Dee Dee Yep. He likes to make an entrance.
Keith: [voice] Ladies and gentlemen, since the dawn of time, the falcon has been worshiped as a symbol of freedom and victory. Now, a new kind of falcon rules the sky. And he is one bad mamma jamma.
Shaggy and Scooby: Blue Falcon!
[All I Do is Win by DJ Khaled ft. Ludacris, Rick Ross, T-Pain and Snoop Dogg plays as Blue Falcon makes an awesome entrance.]
Blue Falcon: Welcome to the Falcon Fury. [poses; Shaggy and Scooby shudder excitedly] Hang on, hang on. Turn on the lights. [The lights turn back on] Where are my balloons, Dee Dee? When I say "Falcon Fury", that's supposed to cue the balloons. Keith, what is the deal up there, man?
Keith: [voice] I missed the cue.
Blue Falcon: Duh. You've got one job, pal. Anyway, welcome aboard, I'm Blue Falcon.
Scooby: No, you're not.
Blue Falcon Yes, I am.
Dee Dee: I told you I wasn't going to be the only one who noticed.
Shaggy: No, Blue Falcon's suit has a bigger red "F" on the chest, and it's way less, uh, scaly.
Blue Falcon: They're feathers, all right? And it's called an upgrade. This ain't your daddy's Blue Falcon.
Dynomutt: I think you mean this ain't your daddy's Blue Falcon. Allow me to introduce you to Blue Falcon's large adult son, Brian.
Shaggy and Scooby: Dynomutt!
Blue Falcon [whose real name is Brian Crown]: Oh, him you recognize?
Shaggy: Well, sure, man. Dynomutt is the dog wonder. Blue Falcon doesn't go anywhere without him.
Dynomutt: And yet, here I am... without him.
[Scooby pinches Shaggy]
Shaggy: Ow! What was that for?!
Scooby: Making sure this isn't a dream.
Shaggy: You're supposed to pinch yourself.
[They start to pinch each other until Dee Dee clears her throat as they stop]
Dee Dee: Finished?
Scooby: [pinches Shaggy one last time] Yes.
Shaggy: Wait, Brian...
Brian: Blue Falcon.
Shaggy: If you're Blue Falcon now...
Brian: I am.
Shaggy: Does that mean...?
Brian: Yes. Regretfully, my father has moved on to a better place. [kisses the air]
Shaggy: Oh, no!
Brian: What?! Oh, no, he's not dead, he retired to Palm Beach.
Dynomutt: We still miss him very, very, very, very, very...
Brian: Oh, no, he's glitching.
Dynomutt: No, I'm not. Let me finish. ...very, very, very much.

View Quote I tried, but they don't have hands. They just have flippers, boss, and-and I have flippers, so it's flipping useless!

View Quote Every time a villain calls in, this happens.

View Quote Classified: Secure the mermaids and find me... [Sees Dave] David the octopus.
Kowalski: [After having dropped a skeleton to trap him] A little late, North Wind.
Skipper: Mission accomplished. High one! [The penguins do their high-one]
Classified: Corporal, take our prisoner... the one that belongs to us... into custody. [Corporal pushes the skeleton aside only for the scuba suit he's in to deflate] What?
Short Fuse: You melted him!? You birds are sick!
Kowalski: [finds an open sewer hatch leading to the pipes of the tanks, knowing that Dave is loose] (Oh, no.) He's going in through the pipes!
[Having made it to the tank of Mermaid Penguins which Private had been placed into, Dave drains the tank in a whirlpool, taking all the Shanghai penguins]
Private: [Trying to swim away from the whirlpool] Skipper!
Skipper: Private? Private! You got to get out of there! [Noticing the tentacle is about to grab him] No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Private!
Skipper: Private! No!
Private: [gets pulled into the drain with the other penguins in the tank] Skipper! No!
Kowalski: [Breaking the glass with a seal] Okay. Here we go.
Skipper: Move, move, move! He's got Private! He's getting away. He's getting away!
[The penguins chase down Dave in the North Wind's plane, and the North Wind chases after them]

View Quote [from trailer]
Mr. Chow: So long, bitches!
[goes on a paraglider]
Mr. Chow: I believe I can fly... I love cocaine!

View Quote [from trailer]
Alan: We can't be friends anymore. When we get together, bad things happen and people get hurt.
Mr. Chow: Yeah, but that's the point! It's funny!

View Quote [the wolfpack is in a fight with cockerels]
Mr. Chow: Hold still, I'm trying to help!
[fires a gun wildly]
Alan: Are you out of your mind?

View Quote Hartman for the love of GOD stop tanning, you look like a cheese nip, you look like a orange with lips, you look like a wrinkled peach. And you Geraldo, lose the wig, you look like a retired porn star.