Phil
Chow, We're in Bangkok?
Holla! City of Squalor!
Tied for most-quoted character in The Hangover Part II (2011): in 8 of its 15 quotes
Most scenes with: Chow (5), Stu (4), Alan Garner (2)
Scenes with Phil
8 scenes
Phil
Chow, what happened?
You guys texted me. Said you **** up and looking to party.
Phil
Your password is baloney1?
Well, it used to be just baloney, but now they make you add numbers.
Kingsley
Really ****in' annoying.
Tracy
Phil.
Phil
Tracy, I'm sorry.
Tracy
Where the hell are you?
Phil
[sighs]
It happened again.
Tracy
Don't say that. Please.
Phil
No, this time we're really **** up.
Tracy
Seriously, what's wrong with you three?
Phil
So much, Trace, I don't even know where to begin.
Tracy
Oh, God. How bad? Like, "no wedding" bad?
Phil
Yeah. Little worse than that.
Phil
Do you ever do anything that doesn't end in a stand-off, Chow?
I am an international criminal. It always ends like this. I met my wife at one of these things.
You have a wife?
Yeah. We married 15 years. What, Chow not good-looking enough for a woman?
Phil
You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us!
Oh, this will be good!
Phil
Stu, think about it! You ended up ditching Melissa... two years later, you met your true soulmate. You take Vegas out of that equation, you would've married a ****! [Old couple looks over and gives Phil dirty looks] Oh, it's ok... No, I'm allowed to say it, it's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody! Oh wait, there's no alcohol. I forgot, we're at a ****in' IHOP!
You ready for the craziest **** story ever? (Collapses on the table)
Phil
Chow! (Pats him)
Mr. Chow, are you okay?
Phil
You gotta be kidding me! (Checks for Chow's pulse) ****, he's dead!
Phil
Stu, shut up. Stu, shut up!
Call an ambulance!
Phil
Shut up, he's dead! Look, if someone comes and finds a dead body and a pile of cocaine, we're gonna spend the rest of our lives in a **** Thai prison! Now shh! Alan, please stop crying!
Kimmy
This one was following me around like a little puppy dog all night, saying how he fall in love with me, and asked me to marry him.
Classic Stu.
We didn’t get married, did we?
Kimmy
Of course not. We just had some fun in the Chardonnay Room.
Phil
What, uh… What happens in the Chardonnay Room?
Let’s just stay on task here.
Kimmy
Oh, you know. Dance for him. He tickle me. We had sex. I massage his shoulders…
****!
Phil
It’s okay. Hey, you're not married yet. It's no big deal.
It's cheating, okay? No offense to you, you're a lovely woman; it's a violation of my moral code.
Kimmy
Don’t be sad. Stu you love it. You were crying, saying how special it was.
Phil
Wait. I’m sorry, he was crying?
What a baby. He was crying.
Kimmy
You should have seen him. He was so sexy, the way he move ‘round. I had to ask him to slow down so I don’t drop my load too quick.
Load? What load?
Kimmy
Oh you know, my sperms.
Eh, I think your English is off. She’s talking about my sperm. Where would your sperm come from?
Kimmy
From my balls.
Phil
Hold on. Back up.
Wait, wait. Are you…?
Kimmy
Hey, you’re in Bangkok sweetie. There’s a reason they don't call it Bang-****!