Knocked Up quotes
78 total quotesJason
Jay
Jonah
Martin
Pete
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I farted on Jason's pillow, he farted on Jonah's thinking it was mine, and eventually pink-eyed my pillow. I'm not proud of any of this.
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(with a gas mask with an attached bong to his face) I am your stoner!
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Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out?
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You can't buy shit! You can barely buy spaghetti!
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How did it feel changing your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?
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I went where I went Jason!
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Don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out.
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Hey, Jay, do you use that Canadian leaf tattoo as like a **** target? How many points do you get for hitting the stem, like a million?
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Nice. You are such an asshole. You know what? Go--go **** your ****ing bong!
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Sadie: I googled murder.
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I'm going to murderball you!
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Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.
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That my friend, is how you get pink eye.
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I always aim right.
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There are FIVE different kinds of chairs in this hotel room.