Knocked Up quotes

78 total quotes

Allison Scott
Ben Stone
Debbie
Doorman
Fantasy Baseball Guy

Jason
Jay
Jonah
Martin
Pete

View Quote You look like Babe Ruth's older gay brother. Gay-be Ruth.

View Quote (with a gas mask with an attached bong to his face) I am your stoner!

View Quote Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out?

View Quote How did it feel changing your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?

View Quote I went where I went Jason!

View Quote You can't buy shit! You can barely buy spaghetti!

View Quote Hey, Jay, do you use that Canadian leaf tattoo as like a **** target? How many points do you get for hitting the stem, like a million?

View Quote I'm going to murderball you!

View Quote Don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out.

View Quote Sadie: I googled murder.

View Quote Nice. You are such an asshole. You know what? Go--go **** your ****ing bong!

View Quote Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.

View Quote I always aim right.

View Quote There are FIVE different kinds of chairs in this hotel room.

View Quote That my friend, is how you get pink eye.