Tony Shalhoub movie quotes

View Quote Holley: Mater, we got to get that bomb off of you.
Lightning: Bomb?
Mater: Yeah, they strapped it to me to kill you as a back-up plan.
Lightning: Back-up plan? Mater, who put a bomb on you?
Prof. Z: [tied up] You! Why my death ray didn't kill you?!
Lightning: Death ray?!
Finn: Turn off the bomb, Zündapp!
Prof. Z: Are you all so dense? It's voice-activated. Everything is voice-activated these days.
Mater: Deactivate! Deactivate!
Bomb Computer: Voice denied. [a bomb starts a countdown mechanism from 4:59 to 4:58 to 4:57; Mater gasps in shock.]
Mater: Huh!
Prof. Z: Oops. Did I forget to mention that it can only be disarmed by the one who activated it?
Holley: [shoves her stun gun] Say it.
Prof. Z: Deactivate.
Bomb Computer: Voice denied. [the bomb lowers down from 4:48 to 3:48 to 3:47; Mater gasps.]
Prof. Z: Oh. I'm not the one who activated it. Would anyone else like to try? [Shiftwell zaps him]
Finn: You read my mind.
Holley: He was getting on my nerves.
Lightning: What do we do?
Victor: It’s very simple. You blow up.
Lightning: I’m going out on a limb here. These are the guys that want me dead, correct?
Vladimir: It’s nothing personal.
Mater: Fellers, listen. I know what you’re going through. Everybody's been laughing at me my whole life too. [the Lemons seem to take this in] But becoming powerful and rich beyond your wildest dreams ain't gonna make you feel better.
J. Curby: Yeah, but it’s worth a shot!
[Suddenly, from behind them, Red shoots water at the Gremlins, with Sally joining him, causing them to overturn and flip, with J. Curby landing on his front behind a metal fence. Finn uses his grappling hooks to move up into the air and pull four lemons towards each other, while Holley uses her wings to carry two other thugs and make them hit a few others. Two of the lemons try to take part, but then Guido takes off their tires]
Guido: Pit stop.
[Flo also arrives, shining her headlights into Vladimir's eyes, making enough time for Sheriff to put a parking boot on Vladimir's left rear tire]
Sheriff: Not today, boys!
[Vladimir tries to move, but gives up when he is unable to move with the parking boot on. Guido then moves away another thug, yelling in Italian. Ivan tries to ram into McQueen, but Mater defends, punching him away as well as a couple more of the lemons and human thugs, and yells as he uses his tow hook to throw Tubbs Pacer towards Ramone, who sprays paint over his eyes. He then sees Finn, Mater, McQueen, Holley, and the other Radiator Springs residents are all watching angrily at him and the other lemons]
Tubbs Pacer: Retreat! [flees along with the remaining thugs, but immediately finds Sarge and the army confronting them]
Sarge: Thanks for the help, Corporal.
Military Car: Anything for one of Pop's mates.
[Guido tries to remove the bolts off the bomb, but none of them work. He rants angrily in Italian and drives off.]
Lightning: What’s he saying? What’s wrong?
Luigi: None of his wrenches fit the bolts!
Mater: I get it. I get it! I know what needs to be done.
Lightning: Then do it.
Mater: What? No, I can’t do it. Look, nobody takes me seriously. I know that now. This ain’t Radiator Springs.
Lightning: Yes, it is. Be yourself in Radiator Springs. Be yourself here. And if-if people aren't taking you seriously, then they need to change, not you. I know that because I was wrong before. Now, you can do this. You're the bomb.
Mater: Thanks, buddy.
Lightning: No, no, no, you're the actual bomb. Now let's go!
Mater: Oh, right! Hang on! [hooks up to McQueen, and drives off]
Finn: Where's he going?
Mater: [as he drives through the traffic] Computer!
Mater's Computer: Yes, Agent Mater?
Mater: I need that thing you done before to get me away from McQueen!
Mater's Computer: Request acknowledged. [brings out Mater's rockets and activates him]
Lightning: Mater?
Mater: Now I need you to do shoot! The second kind, not the first!
Mater’s Computer: Deploying chute. [brings out the chute; Mater and McQueen soar up in the sky]

View Quote Finn: Come with me, please, sir.
Mater: But I’m gonna miss my plane.
Finn: Right this way.
Mater: Ah, doggone it. This is about my hook, ain’t it? I know I should have checked it, but i can’t, really. [as they go into the waiting room] Look. It’s attached to me. Hey, I know you. You’re that feller from the karate demonstration.
Finn: I never properly introduced myself. Finn McMissile, British intelligence.
Mater: Tow Mater, Average Intelligence.
Finn: Who are you with? FBI, CIA?
Mater: Let's just say I'm a triple AAA affiliated. Yeah, I know some karate. I don't want to brag or nuttin', but I got me a black fan belt. You wanna see some moves I made up?
Finn: [hears a beeping sound and looks on his wing mirror to see through his spy camera that Grem and Acer are heading towards the room] You're being followed. [shoots a glass cutter at the window]
Mater: This first one, I can reach into a car's hood pull out his battery, and show it to him before he stalls. I call it, “What I accidentally did to my friend Luigi once.” [does karate moves, crushing an oil can] Hey! Hi-yah-pah! Hi-yah!
Grem: There he is!
Mater: Hi-hi-tah! Huh! [after Finn's glass cutter finishes cutting through the window] Look, I probably ought to go. I’m about to miss my flight. [starts to leave]
Finn: [grabbing Mater with his grappling hooks] Don’t worry. I’ve taken care of that. [pulls him towards the hole in the window]
Mater: Whoa!
Finn: [jumping through the hole] Hang on!!
Acer: [grunts]
Mater: Whoa-hah-hah-hah! This is first-class service. You don't even have to go through the terminal!
Airport crew member: [speaks Japanese, after seeing Grem and Acer going over the roof of boarding stairs and giving chase along the runway]
Mater: Your karate partners is back there. They kinda look like they tryin' to catch up!
Finn: Drive forward. Whatever you do, don’t stop!
Mater: Whoa!
Passenger plane driver: Whoa!
[Mater zigzags around the plane's wheels. Grem dodges the plane, and prepares to shoot a missile. Finn then releases a wheeled motorized jack, which comes to Grem and lifts him up at an angle]
Grem: Whoa... [releases his missile, before being tipped over] Aaahh!
[Seeing that the missile is heading towards him, Finn releases another one at it, causing the two missiles to explode behind him]
Mater: Is everythin' okay back there?
Siddeley: Finn, it's Sid. I'm on approach.
Finn: [through the radio] Roger that.
[Acer is shown pulling flatbed trolleys of baggage across the runway, blocking the path]
Mater: 'Member that whole thing about me not us not stoppin' no matter what?
[Just then, Siddeley appears and shits bullets at the flatbed trolleys to make some of them go up into the air and clear the path]
Mater: Whoa! I knew I shoulda done carry-on!
Finn: [to Siddeley] Thanks, old boy!
Siddeley: [lands on the runway while still moving] You got it, mate! [opens his back ramp]
Mater: [seeing Holley inside] Hey, doggonit! Look, it’s my imaginary girlfriend!
Holley: Come on! Get in here!
Mater: I tell you what, you really do want this first date, don't ya? [as Holley watches with a shocked face] That's a no-quit attitude right there! [Suddenly, gunshots are seen beside him] What the...?
[Behind him, Acer is chasing him, trying to hit him. One of the bullets deflates one of Siddeley's tires]
Siddeley: [being turned to the left and across the grass] Aargh!
Finn: Hold on, Sid.
[Siddeley stops turning and goes straight along another runway, while Acer still keeps trying to shoot bullets. Finn pulls out his gun and fires back, deflating Acer's front right tire.]
Acer: Aargh!
[Acer is turned towards boarding stairs through an airplane, where two waitresses notice him going through the air, before he comes out the other side and falls into a lavatory service truck's tank of automobile waste, making a muffled cry. Siddeley then lifts his bodywork up, as he hits some signs showing the airport's barriers up ahead.]
Siddeley: Come on, Finn! It’s now or never!
[Finn then spins around so that he is going forwards.]
Mater: Whoa!
[Quickly, Finn heads into Siddeley behind him.]
Siddeley: Hold on! [takes off just before he can hit the barriers]
Mater: [voice-over reading the letter] By the time you read this, I'll be safely on an airplane flying home. I'm so sorry for what I did.
Lightning: [reading Mater's letter in the Hotel Lobby] "I don't want to be the cause of you losing any more races. I want you to go prove to the world what I already know: [the camera pans to show Guido and Luigi with big dewy eyes, trying to hold it together] That you are the greatest race car in the whole wide world. Your best friend, Mater." [looks up] I didn't really want him to leave.
Luigi: Wait, there's more here. [moves to next page] "P.S. Please tell the hotel I didn't mean to order that movie. I thought it was just a preview and I didn't realize I was paying for it." [shifts the page] "P.P.S. That's funny right there. P.P."? [shifts the pages around] There's a few more pages of P.S's here.
Lightning: Well, at least I know if he's at home he'll be safe. ( foreshadowing: he definitely won't be...)

View Quote Luigi: Oh, Lightning! Welcome home!
Flo: Good to have you back, honey.
Fillmore: Congratulations, man!
Sarge: Welcome home, Soldier.
Sheriff: This place wasn’t the same without you, son.
Lizzie: What? Did he go somewhere?
Lightning: It’s good to be home, everybody. [hears Mater’s horn and sees him coming] Mater.
Mater: McQueen! [Otis shrieks]
Lightning: Mater!
Mater: McQueen!
[Mater halts, making Otis flung into Ramone's House of Body Art, and stops on a hydraulic lift.]
Ramone: Hey, how far'd you make it this time, Otis?
Otis: Halfway... [panting] to the county line.
Ramone: Ooh, not bad, man! [turns on the lift for Otis]
Otis: I know! I can't believe it either!
Mater: McQueen, welcome back! [they fist bump with their front wheels]
Lightning: Mater, it’s good to see you!
Mater: You too, buddy, oh man, you ain’t gonna believe the things. I got planned for us.
Mack: Oh, these best friends greetings, they get longer every year.
Mater: You ready to have some serious fun?
Lightning: Well, actually I’ve got something to show you first.
[cut to Mater noticing McQueen's Hudson Hornet Piston Cup, honoring Doc Hudson who, like Paul Newman, died]
Mater: Wow! I can’t believe they renamed the Piston Cup after our very own Doc Hudson!

View Quote Arthur: I told them not to leave this spot.
Rafkin: What do you expect? They're kids.
Arthur: Well, thank you, Dr. Phil.

View Quote Rafkin: Quite a place you've got.
Kathy: Yeah. We're moving in!
Arthur: [Holds up key] Well... one step at a time. [Inserts key in door, opens it and enters]
Bobby: Dad! You broke it!
Kathy: Bobby. Give it a rest.

View Quote Arthur: He wasn't too popular. My dad said he squandered the family fortune.
Kathy: We have a family fortune?
Arthur: Well, no. Cyrus squandered it.

View Quote Guido! There is a real Michael Schumacher Ferrari in my store! A real Ferrari! Punch me, Guido! Punch me in the face! This is the most glorious day of my life!

View Quote [McQueen mentions that he's a race car] Excuse me, did you say that you are a race car? I have followed racing, my entire life. My whole life! [McQueen tells him his name] Lightning McQueen! I must scream it to the world, my excitement from the top of some place very high! Do you know many Ferrari's? [McQueen tells him he's in the Piston Cup] Luigi follow only the Ferraris.

View Quote You buy one tire and Luigi give you seven snow tires absolutely free!

View Quote Mathesar: The medical quarters are to the left.
Tommy Webber: What the hell is going on?
Alexander Dane: Jason, what have you gotten us into?
Gwen DeMarco: I don't believe this, it's insane.
Fred Kwan: Wow, the floors are so clean.

View Quote [The shuttle has landed and Fred is opening the hatch]
Guy Fleegman: Hey! Don't open that! It's an alien planet! Is there air?! You don't know!
Fred Kwan: [calmly sniffs the air and takes a few quick breaths] Seems okay.

View Quote [The actors were watching the miners]
Alexander Dane: Could they be the miners?
Fred Kwan: Sure, they're like, three years old.
[The actors face Fred Kwan]
Alexander Dane: Miners. Not minors.
Fred Kwan: You lost me.

View Quote The more you look, the less you really know.

View Quote I litigate. I don't capitulate.

View Quote You say he was being blackmailed, by who? You don't know. For having an affair, with who? You don't know. Did anyone else know about it? Probably not, you don't know.

View Quote Prophet Jack: Watch your step on your way out.
[Lanie trips in a crack and breaks the heel off her shoe]
Lanie Kerrigan: Saw that in a vision, did you?
Prophet Jack: No, I trip in that crack all the time.

View Quote Pete Scanlon: You are full of shit. She is not gonna die. Because she did get the job. The network job you said she wasn't gonna get. Which means you were wrong.
Prophet Jack: Was I?
Pete Scanlon: What is that supposed to mean?
Prophet Jack: If she dies tomorrow, she doesn't get the job. And I was right.

View Quote Prophet Jack: And next Thursday. You're going to die. I'm sorry.
[Lanie walked away with no words]
Prophet Jack: I didn't ask for the power.
Lanie Kerrigan: [to Pete] If I find out you were up to this, I will never speak to you as long as I live.

View Quote [after being screamed at by K for selling a reverberating carbonizer with mutate capacity to an unlicensed cephalopoid] He looked alright to me!

View Quote [Jeebs is an alien who has sold an illegal weapon to a cephalopod. K shoots his head apart when he won't admit this. He begins regrowing it]
Jeebs: You insensitive prick! Do you have any idea how much that stings?