Gwen DeMarco [on the ship's klaxon sounding]
I remember that sound! That's a bad sound!
Tied for most-quoted character in Galaxy Quest (1999): in 14 of its 26 quotes
Most scenes with: Alexander Dane (7), Jason Nesmith (6), Tommy Webber (4)
Look, I have one job on this lousy ship. It's stupid, but I'm going to do it, okay?
More lines from Gwen DeMarco
3 quotes Gwen DeMarco Gwen DeMarco [after going through the chompers]
Whoever wrote this episode should die!
Gwen DeMarco Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!
Scenes with Gwen DeMarco
10 scenes
How did I come to this?
Not again.
I played Richard III at the Royal National Theatre before Her Majesty the Queen.
Five curtain calls.
There were five curtain calls. I was an actor once, damn it. Now look at me. Look at me! I can't go out there, and I won't say that stupid line one more time. I can't. I won't.
Gwen DeMarco Well, Alex, at least you had a part. Okay? You played a character people loved. I mean, my TV Guide interview was six paragraphs about my boobs and how they fit into my suit! No one even bothered to ask what I do on the show.
You had the - wait. Wait, I'll think of it.
Gwen DeMarco I repeated the computer, Fred.
Gwen DeMarco [watching the fans' reaction to Nesmith]
You've got to admit, they really do love him.
Yeah, almost as much as he loves himself.
Mathesar The medical quarters are to the left.
What the hell is going on?
Jason, what have you gotten us into?
Gwen DeMarco I don't believe this, it's insane.
Wow, the floors are so clean.
Computer
Forward thruster shaft, 87% damage. Aft vector guards, 96% damage. Structural breaches in quadrants 32, 34, 40...
What about the engines?
Computer
Forward thruster shaft, 87% damage.
Gwen DeMarco Computer, what about the engines? Why don't we have power?
Computer
The beryllium sphere has fractured under stress.
Gwen DeMarco It's fractured.
Can it be repaired?
Gwen DeMarco Computer, can it be repaired?
Computer
Damage to beryllium sphere: Irreparable. New source of beryllium must be secured.
Gwen DeMarco We need another one.
Uhh!
Eh, uh-- [clears throat] Computer, is there, uh, a replacement Beryllium sphere on board?
Gwen DeMarco Computer, is there a replacement Beryllium sphere on board?
Computer
Negative, no reserve Beryllium sphere exists on board.
Gwen DeMarco [to crew]
No, we have no extra Beryllium sphere on board.
You know, that is really getting annoying!
Gwen DeMarco Look! I have one job on this lousy ship, it's stupid, but I'm gonna do it! Okay?
Sure, no problem.
Gwen DeMarco Alex, where are you going?
To see if there's a pub!
[The actors are flying a shuttle to an alien planet] [whimpering]
I changed my mind, I wanna go back.
After all the fuss you made about getting left behind?
Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the crewman that stays on the ship and something is up there and it kills me. But now I'm thinking I'm the guy that gets killed by some monster five minutes after we land on the planet.
You're not going to die on the planet, Guy.
I'm not? Then what's my last name?
It's, uh, uh-- I don't know.
Nobody knows. You know why? Because my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five minutes in.
Gwen DeMarco Guy, you have a last name.
DO I??!! DO I??!! FOR ALL YOU KNOW, I'M "CREWMAN #6"! [puts his head on Gwen's shoulder and cries] Mommy! Mommy!
What? what was that?
Uh, nothing.
I heard some squealing or something.
Gwen DeMarco Oh, no. Everything's fine.
Teb But the animal is inside out.
I heard that! It turned inside out?
Teb (it explodes)
And it exploded.
Did I just hear that the animal turned inside out, and then it exploded? Hello?
Gwen DeMarco Hold, please.
Gwen DeMarco [Gwen and Jason encounter the chompers]
What is this thing? I mean, it serves no useful purpose for there to be a bunch of chompy, crushy things in the middle of a hallway!
Gwen, Gwen!
Gwen DeMarco No! I mean, we shouldn't have to do this! It makes no logical sense! Why is it here?
Because it's on the television show!
Gwen DeMarco Well, forget it! I'm not doing it! This episode was badly written!
Whoo!
We're getting hammered, Jason! Return fire?
No! Divert all energy to the armor!
Sarris How adorable. The actors are going to play war with me.
Gwen DeMarco Sarris' ship accelerating toward us at Mark 2.
Accelerate to Mark 4!
Sarris Let me remind you, sonny: I am a general. If you are counting on me to blink, then you are making a deadly mistake.
Well, let me tell you something, Sarris! It doesn't take a great actor to recognize a bad one. You're sweating!
Gwen DeMarco Armor almost gone, Jason!
Sarris You fool! You fail to realize that with your armor gone, my ship will tear through yours like tissue paper!
And what you fail to realize is my ship is dragging mines!
Sarris [The Protector is shown to have mines trailing it towards Sarris' ship]
OH, NO! TURN! TURN!
[Sarris quickly does something on a console as the mines slam into his ship and destroy it. The actors cheer]
