Luigi quotes from Cars 2 (2011)

Luigi

Oh, Lightning! Welcome home!

Flo

Good to have you back, honey.

Fillmore

Congratulations, man!

Sarge

Welcome home, Soldier.

Sheriff

This place wasn’t the same without you, son.

What? Did he go somewhere?

Lightning

It’s good to be home, everybody. [hears Mater’s horn and sees him coming] Mater.

McQueen! [Otis shrieks]

Lightning

Mater!

McQueen!

Ramone

Hey, how far'd you make it this time, Otis?

Halfway... [panting] to the county line.

Ramone

Ooh, not bad, man! [turns on the lift for Otis]

I know! I can't believe it either!

McQueen, welcome back! [they fist bump with their front wheels]

Lightning

Mater, it’s good to see you!

You too, buddy, oh man, you ain’t gonna believe the things. I got planned for us.

Oh, these best friends greetings, they get longer every year.

You ready to have some serious fun?

Lightning

Well, actually I’ve got something to show you first.

Wow! I can’t believe they renamed the Piston Cup after our very own Doc Hudson!

Finn

Come with me, please, sir.

But I’m gonna miss my plane.

Finn

Right this way.

Ah, doggone it. This is about my hook, ain’t it? I know I should have checked it, but i can’t, really. [as they go into the waiting room] Look. It’s attached to me. Hey, I know you. You’re that feller from the karate demonstration.

Finn

I never properly introduced myself. Finn McMissile, British intelligence.

Tow Mater, Average Intelligence.

Finn

Who are you with? FBI, CIA?

Let's just say I'm a triple AAA affiliated. Yeah, I know some karate. I don't want to brag or nuttin', but I got me a black fan belt. You wanna see some moves I made up?

Finn

You're being followed. [shoots a glass cutter at the window]

This first one, I can reach into a car's hood pull out his battery, and show it to him before he stalls. I call it, “What I accidentally did to my friend Luigi once.” [does karate moves, crushing an oil can] Hey! Hi-yah-pah! Hi-yah!

Grem

There he is!

Hi-hi-tah! Huh! [after Finn's glass cutter finishes cutting through the window] Look, I probably ought to go. I’m about to miss my flight. [starts to leave]

Finn

Don’t worry. I’ve taken care of that. [pulls him towards the hole in the window]

Whoa!

Finn

Hang on!!

Whoa-hah-hah-hah! This is first-class service. You don't even have to go through the terminal!

Your karate partners is back there. They kinda look like they tryin' to catch up!

Finn

Drive forward. Whatever you do, don’t stop!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Grem

Whoa... [releases his missile, before being tipped over] Aaahh!

Is everythin' okay back there?

Finn, it's Sid. I'm on approach.

Finn

Roger that.

'Member that whole thing about me not us not stoppin' no matter what?

Whoa! I knew I shoulda done carry-on!

Finn

Thanks, old boy!

You got it, mate! [opens his back ramp]

Hey, doggonit! Look, it’s my imaginary girlfriend!

Holley

Come on! Get in here!

I tell you what, you really do want this first date, don't ya? [as Holley watches with a shocked face] That's a no-quit attitude right there! [Suddenly, gunshots are seen beside him] What the...?

Aargh!

Finn

Hold on, Sid.

Acer

Aargh!

Come on, Finn! It’s now or never!

Whoa!

Hold on! [takes off just before he can hit the barriers]

By the time you read this, I'll be safely on an airplane flying home. I'm so sorry for what I did.

Lightning

"I don't want to be the cause of you losing any more races. I want you to go prove to the world what I already know: [the camera pans to show Guido and Luigi with big dewy eyes, trying to hold it together] That you are the greatest race car in the whole wide world. Your best friend, Mater." [looks up] I didn't really want him to leave.

Luigi

Wait, there's more here. [moves to next page] "P.S. Please tell the hotel I didn't mean to order that movie. I thought it was just a preview and I didn't realize I was paying for it." [shifts the page] "P.P.S. That's funny right there. P.P."? [shifts the pages around] There's a few more pages of P.S's here.

Lightning

Well, at least I know if he's at home he'll be safe. ( foreshadowing: he definitely won't be...)

Holley

Mater, we got to get that bomb off of you.

Lightning

Bomb?

Yeah, they strapped it to me to kill you as a back-up plan.

Lightning

Back-up plan? Mater, who put a bomb on you?

Prof. Z

You! Why my death ray didn't kill you?!

Lightning

Death ray?!

Finn

Turn off the bomb, Zündapp!

Prof. Z

Are you all so dense? It's voice-activated. Everything is voice-activated these days.

Deactivate! Deactivate!

Voice denied. [a bomb starts a countdown mechanism from 4:59 to 4:58 to 4:57; Mater gasps in shock.]

Huh!

Prof. Z

Oops. Did I forget to mention that it can only be disarmed by the one who activated it?

Holley

Say it.

Prof. Z

Deactivate.

Voice denied. [the bomb lowers down from 4:48 to 3:48 to 3:47; Mater gasps.]

Prof. Z

Oh. I'm not the one who activated it. Would anyone else like to try? [Shiftwell zaps him]

Finn

You read my mind.

Holley

He was getting on my nerves.

Lightning

What do we do?

It’s very simple. You blow up.

Lightning

I’m going out on a limb here. These are the guys that want me dead, correct?

Vladimir

It’s nothing personal.

Fellers, listen. I know what you’re going through. Everybody's been laughing at me my whole life too. [the Lemons seem to take this in] But becoming powerful and rich beyond your wildest dreams ain't gonna make you feel better.

J. Curby

Yeah, but it’s worth a shot!
[Suddenly, from behind them, Red shoots water at the Gremlins, with Sally joining him, causing them to overturn and flip, with J. Curby landing on his front behind a metal fence. Finn uses his grappling hooks to move up into the air and pull four lemons towards each other, while Holley uses her wings to carry two other thugs and make them hit a few others. Two of the lemons try to take part, but then Guido takes off their tires]

Pit stop.

Sheriff

Not today, boys!
[Vladimir tries to move, but gives up when he is unable to move with the parking boot on. Guido then moves away another thug, yelling in Italian. Ivan tries to ram into McQueen, but Mater defends, punching him away as well as a couple more of the lemons and human thugs, and yells as he uses his tow hook to throw Tubbs Pacer towards Ramone, who sprays paint over his eyes. He then sees Finn, Mater, McQueen, Holley, and the other Radiator Springs residents are all watching angrily at him and the other lemons]

Retreat! [flees along with the remaining thugs, but immediately finds Sarge and the army confronting them]

Sarge

Thanks for the help, Corporal.

Anything for one of Pop's mates.

Lightning

What’s he saying? What’s wrong?

Luigi

None of his wrenches fit the bolts!

I get it. I get it! I know what needs to be done.

Lightning

Then do it.

What? No, I can’t do it. Look, nobody takes me seriously. I know that now. This ain’t Radiator Springs.

Lightning

Yes, it is. Be yourself in Radiator Springs. Be yourself here. And if-if people aren't taking you seriously, then they need to change, not you. I know that because I was wrong before. Now, you can do this. You're the bomb.

Thanks, buddy.

Lightning

No, no, no, you're the actual bomb. Now let's go!

Oh, right! Hang on! [hooks up to McQueen, and drives off]

Finn

Where's he going?

Computer!

Mater's Computer

Yes, Agent Mater?

I need that thing you done before to get me away from McQueen!

Mater's Computer

Request acknowledged. [brings out Mater's rockets and activates him]

Lightning

Mater?

Now I need you to do shoot! The second kind, not the first!

Deploying chute. [brings out the chute; Mater and McQueen soar up in the sky]

Lightning McQueen

There you are. Where have you been?

What's a "rendezvous"?

Luigi

Uh, it's like a date.

A date?

Lightning McQueen

Mater, what's going on?

Well, what's going on is I got me a date tomorrow.

Non ci credo. (I don't believe you.)

Luigi

Guido don't believe you.

Well, believe it. My new girlfriend just said so. [sees Holley and waves] Hey, there she is! Hey! Hey, lady! See you tomorrow!

Ancora non ci credo. (I still don't believe you.)

Luigi

Guido still don't believe you.

Grem

I got to admit, you tricked us real good.

Acer

And we don't like being tricked. [Rod chuckles] Hey! What's so funny?

Well, you know, I was just wearing a disguise. You guys are stuck looking like that. [Grem pushes a lever, turning the magnet off, and causing Rod to land on a small platform, where one of the Lemon Cars pushes a fuel tank of Allinol towards him.] Allinol? Thanks, fellas! I hear this stuff is good for you.

So you think Allinol by itself is good for you. [presses a button, which causes some cylinders attached to the platform to turn Rod's rear tires and make whirring sounds as his status bar shows his speedometer going up] But after microscopic examination, I have found that it has one small weakness. When hit with an electromagnetic pulse, it becomes extremely dangerous.

Grem

Smile for the camera.

Is that all you want? I got a whole act.

You were very interested in this camera on the oil platform. Now you will witness what it really does.

Whatever you say, Professor.

Acer

You talked up a lot of cars last night. Which one's your associate?

Your mother. Oh, no, I'm sorry, it was your sister. You know, I can't tell them apart these days.

Grem

Could I start it now, Professor Z?

Go 50% power. [Grem then pushes a lever beneath the EMP generator that causes the lens to light up and make whirring sounds, going to 50% power] The camera is actually an electromagnetic pulse emitter.

Acer

What about her? Did you give it to her?

The Allinol is now heating to a boil, dramatically expanding, causing the engine block to crack under the stress, forcing oil into the combustion chamber. [While Zündapp is talking, Rod's engine is heard cracking, then the oil is heard flowing.]

Acer

How about him? Did you talk to him?!

What do I care?! I can replace an engine block

You may be able to, but after full impact of the pulse, [as Grem pushes the generator's lever to 75% power] unfortunately, there will be nothing to replace.

Acer

How about him? Does he have it?

That's him. He's the one.

Grem

Roger that Professor Z.

NO!

Yes, sir, we believe the infiltrator has passed along sensitive information.

Right away!

I will take care of it before any damage can be done. [hangs up] The project is still on schedule. You will find the second agent and kill him. [Zündapp then pushes the generator's lever to 100% power, which the screen then shows the picture of Rod and Mater, zooming in as a reflection of Rod is shown, shaking as the generator's electromagnetic pulse gets more powerful, before he finally explodes, cut into the screen shows a distant view of Mount Fuji and a Japanese tower while the WGP theme begins]

Brent Mustangburger

Japan, land of the rising sun, where ancient tradition meets modern technology. Welcome to the inaugural running of the World Grand Prix. I'm Brent Mustangburger, here with racing legends Darrell Cartrip and David Hobbscap. There's never been a competition like this before. First, Allinol, making its debut tonight as the required fuel for all these great champions. Second, the course itself, and it's like nothing we've ever seen before. David, how exactly does this competition work?

David Hobbscap

Well, Brent, all three of these street courses are classic round-the-house racetracks. [the camera shows the labelled in Japan, Italy and England] This means that the LMP and Formula cars should break out of the gate in spectacular fashion. Look for Francesco Bernoulli in particular to lead early. And with a series of technical turns throughout GT and Touring cars, like Spain's Miguel Camino should make up some ground, but I doubt it'll be enough to stop Francesco from absolutely running away with it.

Darrell Cartrip

Whoa, now just hold your horsepower. You're forgetting the most important factor here: that early dirt track section of the course! The dirt is supposed to be the great equalizer in this race.

Brent Mustangburger

French Rally Car Raoul ÇaRoule Is Counting On A Big Boost Headed Through There.

Darrell Cartrip

And Don't Forget Lightning McQueen, His Mentor The Hudson Hornet Was One Of The Greatest Dirt Track Races Of All Time In My Opinion, McQueen Is The Best All Round Racer In This Competition.

David Hobbscap

Really, Darrell, I think you need to clean your windshield. You're clearly not seeing this for what it is: Francesco's race to lose. [The WGP racers roll into the starting line to prepare to race.]

Brent Mustangburger

It's time to find out. The racers are lockin' into the grid.

Lightning McQueen

Speed. I am speed.

Francesco Bernoulli

Really? You are speed? Then Francesco is triple speed. [closes his eyes] Francesco is triple speed. Oh-ho! Francesco likes this, McQueen. It's-a really getting him into the zone! [revs his engine]

Lightning McQueen

He is so getting beat today. [revs his engine; the lights turn from red to green, and the first race is underway; one Set Of Red Lights Turns On One-By-One Before Another Set Of Lights Beneath It Turns Green, The Races Start The First Lap With Raoul ÇaRoule & Miguel Camino Leading Through The Narrow Streets Of Tokyo Before Raoul Gets Overtaken By Max Schnell, Carla Veloso, & Miguel Gets Overtaken By Jeff Gorvette, Shu Todoroki, Lightning McQueen, Francesco Bernoulli, Nigel Gearsley, Lewis Hamilton, & Rip Clutchgoneski Behind Him As McQueen & Francesco Make Their Moves Around Jeff, Carla, Raoul, & Max Which Francesco Takes The Lead With McQueen And Go Around The First Corner].

Jeff, Your Tires Are.

.

.

.

Sarge

Your Suspension Sets Look Good.

Luigi

Tire Pressure Is Excellent!

Fillmore

He's Got Plenty Of Fuel.

And He's Awesome.

McQueen, McQueen, McQueen! [The Screen Shows Finn & Holley Inside A Building Overlooking The Pit Road And Have Their Eyes On Mater, Who Is Wearing A Headset].

Holley Shiftwell

Why is he in the Pits? He's so Exposed.

Finn McMissile

It's His Cover, One Of The Best I've Seen Too. Look at the detail on the rust; it must have cost him a fortune.

Holley Shiftwell

But Why Hasn't He Contacted Us Yet?

Finn McMissile

There's Probably Heat On Him: Be Patient.

Holley Shiftwell

Right, Of Course, He'll Signal Us When He Can.

Finn McMissile

And Then We Find Out Who's Behind All This.

Brent Mustangburger

As They Head Into The Palace Hairpin, Francesco Builds An Early Lead.

Darrell Cartrip

Ah Hang On Boys, Here Comes The Dirt, Slipping And Sliding Baby.

McQueen, It's Time To Make Your Move. Get On The Outside And Show Them What Doc Taught You.

Lightning McQueen

10-4 Mater.

David Hobbscap

Oh Boy, Francesco's Brought To A Screeching Halt!

Brent Mustangburger

Lightning McQueen Is The First To Take Advantage And Just Like That, Folks, Francesco's Lead Is Left In The Dust.

Lightning McQueen

Nice call, Mater. Keep It Up.

Acer

It's Finn McMissile! But you're dead!

Finn McMissile

Then this shouldn't hurt at all. [sprays both Acer and Petey with a fire extinguisher, blinding them]

Brent Mustangburger

You Are Looking Live At Beautiful Porto Corsa, Italy, On The Italian Riviera, What A Magnificent Setting For The Second Race Of The World Grand Prix!

David Hobbscap

Well Brent, They Call This Place The Gem Of The Riviera And It's Easy To See Why With Its Secluded Beaches And Opulent Casinos, Porto Corsa Truly Is A Playground For The Wealthy And Everyone Who's Anyone Is Here Today From The Ultra-Rich And Super-Famous To World Leaders And Important Dignitaries.

Darrell Cartrip

You Aren't Kidding, David, You Can't Do A Three-Point Turn Around Here Without Bumping Into Some Celebrity!

Brent Mustangburger

Welcome Everyone To The Second Race Of The World Grand Prix, Where The Big News Continues To Be Allinol. Sir Miles Axlerod spoke to the press earlier today to answer questions about its safety.

Sir Miles Axlerod

An Independent Panel Of Scientists Has Determined That Allinol Is Completely Safe. Okay: Safe; There It Is.

Brent Mustangburger

So the race will go on, folks.

Darrell Cartrip

But The Question Everyone Is Asking: Will The Real Lightning McQueen Show Up Today?

Brent Mustangburger

Well He'd Better, Talk About A Home Track Advantage, Francesco Bernoulli Grew Up Racing On This Course.

Signore E Signori In The Pole Position, Numero Uno, Francesco!

Francesco Bernoulli

Bellissima, Thank You For Your Support And Your Big Mistake McQueen!

In Secondo Position, Numero 95, Lightning-A McQueen-A!

Luigi

McQueen, Is Everything OK?

Fillmore

If You're Worried About Your Fuel Man Don't, It's Perfectly Safe.

Lightning McQueen

No, guys, I Just Really Wish Mater Were Here.

Francesco Bernoulli

Francesco Understands This McQueen.

Lightning McQueen

Oh great, here it comes. What do you got, Francesco?

Francesco Bernoulli

For Famous Race Cars Like Francesco, and well, you, to be far away from home is not easy.

Lightning McQueen

I Think You Forgot The Insulting Part Of That Insult.

Francesco Bernoulli

It's-a no insult! When Francesco is away from home, he misses his mama. Just like-a you miss your tow truck, amigo.

Lightning McQueen

Gee, I maybe misjudged you because that's exactly how I--

Francesco Bernoulli

Of course. I am at home, and my mama is right here. [points and waves at a vintage Ferrari in the crowd who is smiling, blowing kisses and waving back] Mama! Don't worry, Mama! McQueen is very sad. I will beat his cry-baby bottom today!

Lightning McQueen

And there's the insult we were missing. Grazie!

Brent Mustangburger

Darrell, The Races Are Settling As They Head To The Italian Countryside.

Darrell Cartrip

Whoo Boy, This Is Gonna Be A Great Race.

So, there we were, my rocket jets goin' full blast, McQueen hangin' on for dear life, when suddenly, them two nasty lemons come out of nowhere with guns drawn. We was goners. But then, out of nowhere, this beautiful spy car swoops in from the sky to save us.

That's a very entertaining story, young man.

Oh, Minny, please. Come on! None of this happened. Rocket jets, flying spy cars--

Holley Shiftwell

No, you're quite right. [landing] It does sound a bit far-fetched.

Holley! What are you doing here?

Holley Shiftwell

Hello, Mater! It's so good to see you again.

Finn!

Finn McMissile

Our Satellites Picked Up An Urgent Communiqué.

Luigi

So, you got-a my email.

Oh, man. Y'all is gon' have a great time. Everybody, this here's Finn McMissile. He's a secret agent. Don't tell nobody. And this is Holley Shiftwell. She's--

Holley Shiftwell

I'm Mater's girlfriend. It's so nice to meet you all.

Luigi

Guido believe you now.

Flo

Whoa Honey, You Got A Nasty Dent There.

Holley Shiftwell

Yeah.

Was That From When You Swooped In And You Saved Them In London?

Van!

What, I'm Just Asking!

Flo

Ah, don't you worry, sweet pea. My Baby Ramone Can Get That Fixed Up For You In No Time.

Ramone

Yeah, sure thing, man. No problem, Just Let Me Go Get My Tools.

Holley Shiftwell

Oh-No-No, I-I'm Keeping That Dent; It's Way Too Valuable.

.

A Valuable Dent, Oh, She's As Crazy As Mater.

Oh Those Two Are Perfect For Each Other.

Lightning McQueen

You know, there's one thing I still don't get. The bad guys hit me with the beam from the camera, right? So, why didn't I...

Explode in a fiery inferno?

Lightning McQueen

Yeah.

Finn McMissile

We couldn't figure that out, either.

Holley Shiftwell

Our investigation proved that Allinol was actually gasoline, and Axlerod engineered it so when it got hit by the beam it would explode.

Lightning McQueen

Wait a second, Fillmore; You said my fuel was safe.

Fillmore

If you're implying that I switched out that rot-gut excuse for alternative fuel with my all-natural, sustainable, organic biofuel just because I never trusted Axlerod, you're dead wrong, man. It was him. [points to Sarge]

Sarge

Once big oil, always big oil... man.

Fillmore

Tree-hugger.
[The Camera Shows On A Banner Saying "Radiator Springs Grand Prix" Before Moving Down To Show Sheriff Slowly Driving Along The Main Road With The World Grand Prix Racers Behind Him With The Spectators Watching Beside Hay Bales Being Used As Barriers] .

Sheriff

The Radiator Springs Grand Prix Is About To Begin. All Spectators, Clear The Starting Line.

Man, I Can't Wait To Get Rocking; This Is Gonna Be Wicked!

Yeah, We Should Do This Every Year.

Lightning McQueen

Yeah, I Just Figured We Never Found Out Who The World's Fastest Car Is, plus no press, no trophy, just racing the way I Like It.

Francesco Bernoulli

Francesco Likes It Like This Too.

Lightning McQueen

Francesco, I'd Like You To Meet—

Francesco Bernoulli

Signorina Sally, It Is Official, Lightning McQueen Is The Luckiest Car In The World.

Why Thank You. [Chuckles].