Miles Axlerod And now, our last competitor. Number 95: Lightning McQueen!
Ka-chow! Thank you so much for having us, Sir Axlerod. I really look forward to racing. This is a great opportunity.
Miles The pleasure's all ours, Lightning. You and your team bring excellence and professionalism to this competition.
M Mater
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Someone give me water! Aah! [sticks his tongue underneath the waterfall] Oh, sweet relief. Sweet relief. [now sated, approaches the microphone] Whatever you do, do not eat the free pistachio ice cream. It has turned. [echoes]
Sir Axlerod, I can explain. This is Mater. He's--
Miles No, I know him. This is the bloke that called in to the television show. You're the one I have to thank.
M Mater
No, thank you. This trip has been amazing.
Miles [Miles leaks oil and blames it on Mater, tells Mater off]
Ah! He's a little excited, isn't he?
M Mater
But wait, I-- Oh, shoot!
Miles Uh, have you got a towel?
Mater, you have to get a hold of yourself. You're making a scene!
M Mater
But I never leak oil. Never.
Go take care of yourself right now. [Mater shamefully drives away]
M Mater
[now speeding]
Comin' through! Excuse me. Leakin' Oil. Where's the bathroom? Thank you. I gotta go. Oh, uh-- Uh-- [goes into the ladies' bathroom, the women cars scream in embarrassment] Sorry, ladies!
P Photographer
[The camera shows McQueen, Francesco and Carla on the podium as they get interviewed]
Francesco!
Francesco, over here. Hey, what was your strategy today?
Strategia? Francesco needs-a no strategy, it’s-a very simple: You start the race, wait for Lightning McQueen to choke, pass him, then win. Francesco always-a wins, it’s a boring. [Lightning rolls his eyes.]
I gotta tell you dude, you were in trouble for awhile. That dirt track section had you crawlin’. [Lightning notices Mater leaving and sneaks off.]
To truly crush one’s dream, you must first raise their hopes very high.
[meets up with Mater in his pit garage]
MATER!
M Mater
Hey, McQueen! What happened, is the race over? You won, right?
Mater, why were you yelling things at me while I was racing?!
M Mater
"Yellin'"? Oh, you thought... [chuckles] Oh! That's funny right there. Naw. See, that's 'cause I seen these two fellers doing some sort of karate street performance. It was nut so. One of 'em even had a flamethrower...
[with worry and disbelief]
"A flamethrower"? What are you talking about? I-I don't understand, where were you?
M Mater
Goin' to meet my date.
M Mater
She started talkin' to me as a voice in my head, tellin' me where to go–-
Lightning: What?
M Mater
[noticing Lightning's angry glare]
Wait a minute. I didn't screw you up, did I?
[angrily]
I lost the race because of you!
M Mater
[shocked]
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
An imaginary girlfriend? Flamethrowers? You know, this is exactly why I don't bring you along to these things!
M Mater
Maybe if I, I don't know... talk to somebody, and explain what happened, I could help.
I don't need your help. I don't want your help. [drives off, but is stopped by the paparazzi and Mater is upset]
R1 Reporter 1
Hey, there he is!
R2 Reporter 2
McQueen, you had it in the bag!
R3 Reporter 3
Yeah, what happened?
I-I made a mistake, but I can assure you, it won't happen again. [Mater drives over to the TV monitors; he slumps] Look, guys. We know what the problem is, and we've taken care of it! [Mater sadly drives away]
[on TV]
Lightning McQueen loses in the last lap to Francesco Bernoulli in the first race of the World Grand Prix. And three, count em', three cars flamed out, leaving some to suggest that their fuel, Allinol, might be to blame.
Miles [interviewed]
Allinol is safe! Alternative fuel is safe! There is no way my fuel caused these cars to flame out!
Well, the jury may still be out on whether allinol caused these accidents, but one thing's for sure: Lightning McQueen blew this race!
Team McQueen can’t be happy right now.
L Lightning
Mater, just cut to the chase.
M Mater
Okay, it's him! [points to Miles]
Miles What? Me? You've got to be crazy.
M Mater
I figured it out when I realized y'all attached this tickin' time bomb with Whitworth bolts. The same bolts that hold together that old British engine from the photograph. Holley, show that picture!
Okay. [holographically shows said photo of the mysterious hood engine]
M Mater
And then I remembered what they said about old British Engines - "If there ain't no oil under 'em, there ain't no oil in 'em!"
Miles What is he talking about?
M Mater
It was you leakin' oil at the party in Japan! [flashback of Miles leaking oil, and blaming Mater] You just blamed it on me. [flashback ends]
Miles Electric cars don't use oil, you twit!
M Mater
Then you're fakin' it. You didn't convert to no electric. [realizes that he knows the truth, Miles backs away] We pop that hood, we gonna see that engine from that picture right there.
Miles [panicking]
This lorry's crazy! He's gonna kill us all! [backs up to the edge of the stage] STAY AWAY!
But Sir Axlerod created the race, Mater. Why would he want to hurt anyone?
M Mater
To make Allinol look bad so everybody would go back to usin' oil. I mean, he said it himself with that disguised voice.
Miles "Disguised voice"? What are you talking about?! YOU'RE NUTS, YOU ARE!
PW Prince Wheeliam
This is going nowhere fast. We really should go, Grandmother.
Q The Queen
One moment. I'd like to see where this is going. [bomb countdown reaches to 00:29.]
Mater, he created Allinol.
M Mater
Yeah, but what if he found that huge oil field just as the world was tryin' to find something else? What if he came up with Allinol just to make alternative fuel look bad?
Miles [bomb countdown reaches 00:19, 00:18.]
"What if"? You're basing this on a "what if"?!
SG Security Guard
Okay, that's it! Lads, clear out! [the Queen and spectators evacuate]
Miles Wait, somebody save me! The lorry's crazy! KEEP AWAY, YOU IDIOT!
[the bomb countdown reaches 00:09, 00:08.]
Mater!
Miles Someone, do something! [Mater stands his ground, glaring at Miles, while everyone braces for the explosion] YOU'RE INSANE, YOU ARE! [Bomb countdown 00:03, then 00:02. Axlerod shuts his eyes, screaming] DEACTIVATE!!!
BC Bomb Computer
[Countdown stops at 00:01 before explosion, causing it to say "Voice Accepted"]
Bomb deactivated. Have a nice day, Sir Axlerod. :) [Mater smiles in satisfaction. Axlerod is shocked at what he said, as police cars approach to arrest him. Mater pops open Axlerod's hood, revealing the mysterious V8 engine.]
The engine from the photo.
It's a perfect match. [brings up the image and does a match between Miles' and the blue one's]
Miles [last lines]
How did the tow truck figure it out?
L Lightning
It's official, you’re coming to all my races from now on.
M Mater
Now you're talkin'!
[Grem pushes the emitter's lever to 75% power, and aims it at Shu Todoroki]
No!
Miles Long live Lemons!
[Suddenly, Shu Todoroki's engine explodes due to the weapon]
Oh, number 7 is loose! Shu Todoroki!
[Miguel Camino tries to brake, but crashes into Todoroki. Then, Max Schnell tries to brake, but crashes into the two. After that, Raoul ÇaRoule and Rip Clutchgoneski try to brake, but they also crash into the three. Jeff Gorvette and Lewis Hamilton brake just in time, leaving them as the only survivors. Holley watches in shock.] [Gasps after spotting Finn taken away by the helicopter]
Finn?
Bumper to bumper as they approach the finish line! McQueen's the winner! Francesco’s second! They have no idea what happened behind them.
That’s what I’m talking about! Ka-chow! [Ambulances sirens] Wh- What happened? Where are all the other cars?
[They look at car crashes on the TV screens]
Oh, no!
[A chopper is then seen rushing towards the scene, as the press surrounds Axlerod] [on TV]
Sir Axlerod, is the final race in London still going to take place?
Miles [on TV]
I suppose that... [sighs] Look, the show must go on, as they say. But now is not the time to talk about...
I can't believe this is really happening!
[on TV]
And allinol? Will you require all the racers to still run on allinol?
[chuckles]
Here it comes!
Miles [on TV]
I cannot, in good conscience, continue to risk the lives of any more race cars. The final race will not be run on allinol.
L Lemons
[cheering]
Ah-ha-ha! Ha-ha! [continue cheering]
[on TV, to the TV viewers]
There you have it, a clearly devastated Sir Miles Axlerod announcing that he will not require the cars to use allinol for the final race.
[as casino staff pop lemonade corks]
A toast! To the death of allinol and alternative fuel forever!
[rushing away from the casino]
Mater, abort the mission! They've got Finn. Get out of there. Get out of there right now!
I Ivan
[Suddenly, she stops after turning a corner revealing several angry black Hugos in front of her; she gasps] [appearing behind Holley]
How is your grandfather?
AC All cars
[The camera shows the lemons inside the casino are cheering, while Mater, who is now all on his own, is about to leave.] [chanting]
Long live lemons!
A Alex
Isn’t this a great party, Ivan, huh?
M Mater
Oh yeah, it’s unbelievable.
A Alex
You’re not leaving, are you?
M Mater
Uh, of course I’m not leaving.
[on TV]
Just in shock like everybody...
[on TV]
Crashes are a part of racing, I know, but something like that should never happen.
[on TV]
They're letting you choose your fuel for the final race. Do you have any idea what it's gonna be?
L Lemons
[all gasp]
What?!
Did he just say Allinol?!
[on TV]
My friend Fillmore says the fuel's safe. That's good enough for me. I didn't stand by a friend of mine recently. I'm not gonna make the same mistake twice.
[on TV]
So a surprising revelation from Lightning McQueen. He will use allinol in the final race, despite what occurred today.
[listening to the mastermind on the telephone]
Yes, sir.
Miles [indistinctly]
...Till Lightning McQueen is dead!
Of course. [to his fellow Lemons] Allinol must be finished for good. McQueen cannot win the last race. Lightning McQueen must be killed!
M Mater
No! [quickly backs up and the emergency light gets bashed by one of the televisions. The bash causes the device to malfunction, as the disguise changes into taco truck form, with his horn playing "La Cucaracha" as several tacos fall out.]
(Huh?) [It cycles through his other forms: Dracula, funny car, lederhosen, before finally showing Mater's true form, as he nervously smiles; alarmed]
It's the American spy!! [the Lemons all draw their weapons]
Gatling gun, request acknowledged. [two Gatling guns appear out of Mater's sides]
DOWN!!! DOWN!!! EVERYBODY, DOWN!!!!
M Mater
Shoot. I didn't mean--
Request acknowledged. [Mater's guns fire madly, shooting everything in the room as the Lemons drive for cover. The force of the guns makes Mater back out of the room and onto the balcony]
M Mater
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait!! I didn't mean that kind of "shoot"!
Correction acknowledged. Deploying chute. [a parachute appears out of Mater's back]
M Mater
Whoa-a-a! [carries him into the air. The Lemons watched as Mater go high up in the air and saw McQueen onstage] McQueen! [spots a motorboat and hook onto it.]
B Boat
Whoa! What's this?!
M Mater
[sees McQueen onstage]
McQueen! McQueen! Whoa!
M Mater
[Suddenly, his tow cable comes off the boat, causing him to fall.]
Aah! [hits the leaves of a palm tree, then a hotel sign, and is about to hit a market stall]
MS Market Seller
Waagh! [gets hit as the screen goes black]
M Mater
Let me through! Let me through! [covered in Francesco memorabilia and palm leaves, Mater skids to a halt at the media's entrance] You gotta let me in! I gotta get through to warn McQueen!
IS Italian Security #1
You cannot-a come through here! Back up, signore.
IS Italian Security #2
[into a walkie-talkie]
We have a lunatic at Gate 9...
M Mater
No, listen! I was disguised as a tow truck to infiltrate this Lemonhead meetin' and my weapons system misinterpreted what I was sayin'!
IS Italian Security #2
I repeat. Lunatic at Gate 9.
M Mater
[looks past the gate]
McQueen! McQueen!
P Press
You are the champion!
PL Press Liaison
Right this way, signore.
IS Italian Security #1
Back up, sir.
IS Italian Security #2
Stop moving! Stop!
IS Italian Security #1
[Mater darts around the securities and speeds towards the press surrounding McQueen, all his decorations dropping off]
Hey, hey, hey! Where are you going? Oy! Stop! Ferma li!
That really sounded like Mater. Mater?
PL Press Liaison
Signore...
M Mater
McQueen! They're gonna kill you!
PL Press Liaison
Signore, please...
[moves through the press crowd]
Uhhhh... scusi, scusi.
PL Press Liaison
No, no, where are you going?! Please, Mr. McQueen!!
Scusi... Mater! Mater! Mater, I'm so glad to see you. I'm so sorry--
I Ivan
Lightning McQueen! I am a huge fan!
[surprised]
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought I heard--
I Ivan
Yes, but that was me. I said, "You killed out there today." You're the best.
What? Oh. I mean, thanks.
PL Press Liaison
Right this way, signore.
[pushed back in the other direction]
I-I really thought I heard my friend.
I Ivan
In England, you'll be finished. At the finish line.
PL Press Liaison
Please, uh, the world press is waiting. You come-a with me, please.
M Mater
[Mater, now bound and with his mouth taped, is pulled away and thrown into the back of a transport vehicle. He lands hard on his side, spitting out his tape]
Let me go!
You actually care about that race car. A pity you didn't warn him in time.
[The transport vehicle's door shuts, trapping Mater inside, and blacks him out with sleeping gas]
[Lightning Is Missing Mater At The Race in Italy as the racers gather at the finish line]
You Are Looking Live At Beautiful Porto Corsa, Italy, On The Italian Riviera, What A Magnificent Setting For The Second Race Of The World Grand Prix!
Well Brent, They Call This Place The Gem Of The Riviera And It's Easy To See Why With Its Secluded Beaches And Opulent Casinos, Porto Corsa Truly Is A Playground For The Wealthy And Everyone Who's Anyone Is Here Today From The Ultra-Rich And Super-Famous To World Leaders And Important Dignitaries.
You Aren't Kidding, David, You Can't Do A Three-Point Turn Around Here Without Bumping Into Some Celebrity!
Welcome Everyone To The Second Race Of The World Grand Prix, Where The Big News Continues To Be Allinol. Sir Miles Axlerod spoke to the press earlier today to answer questions about its safety.
Sir Miles Axlerod [Being Interviewed]
An Independent Panel Of Scientists Has Determined That Allinol Is Completely Safe. Okay: Safe; There It Is.
So the race will go on, folks.
But The Question Everyone Is Asking: Will The Real Lightning McQueen Show Up Today?
Well He'd Better, Talk About A Home Track Advantage, Francesco Bernoulli Grew Up Racing On This Course.
IA Italian Announcer
[As The Races Line Up On The Grid]
Signore E Signori In The Pole Position, Numero Uno, Francesco!
Bellissima, Thank You For Your Support And Your Big Mistake McQueen!
IA Italian Announcer
[As The Pop Is Shown Attending The Race With His Bodyguards]
In Secondo Position, Numero 95, Lightning-A McQueen-A!
[Seeing That McQueen Feels Sad]
McQueen, Is Everything OK?
If You're Worried About Your Fuel Man Don't, It's Perfectly Safe.
No, guys, I Just Really Wish Mater Were Here.
[notices Lightning is sad]
Francesco Understands This McQueen.
[sarcastically]
Oh great, here it comes. What do you got, Francesco?
For Famous Race Cars Like Francesco, and well, you, to be far away from home is not easy.
[sarcastically]
I Think You Forgot The Insulting Part Of That Insult.
[emotionally]
It's-a no insult! When Francesco is away from home, he misses his mama. Just like-a you miss your tow truck, amigo.
[impressed]
Gee, I maybe misjudged you because that's exactly how I--
[smiling]
Of course. I am at home, and my mama is right here. [points and waves at a vintage Ferrari in the crowd who is smiling, blowing kisses and waving back] Mama! Don't worry, Mama! McQueen is very sad. I will beat his cry-baby bottom today!
[sarcastically]
And there's the insult we were missing. Grazie!
Darrell, The Races Are Settling As They Head To The Italian Countryside.
Whoo Boy, This Is Gonna Be A Great Race.
