Shut up! Enough already, Ballstein. Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look for Christ's sake! Blue Steel, Ferrari, Le Tigre? They're the same face! Doesn't anyone notice this?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie. I invented it! What have you done, Derek? Nothing! YOU'VE DONE NOTHING! NOTHING!! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done then I will. [To the Malaysian Prime Minister] DIE YOU WAGE HIKING SCUM!
Derek Zoolander
Ben Stiller · 53 quotes
Hansel
Owen Wilson · 27 quotes
Mugatu
Will Ferrell · 16 quotes
Matilda
Christine Taylor · 13 quotes
Larry Zoolander
Jon Voight · 5 quotes
Maury Ballstein
Jerry Stiller · 5 quotes
Brint
Alexandre Manning · 4 quotes
J.P. Prewitt
David Duchovny · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Derek Zoolander & Matilda (12), Derek Zoolander & Hansel (7), Hansel & Matilda (4)
Zoolander quotes
Page 4 of 8[after he pokes a girl with a pin]
Oh, I'm sorry, did my pin get in the way of your ass? Do me a favor and lose five pounds immediately or get out of my building like now!
[Derek sees his reflection in a puddle]
Who am I? [the reflection speaks back] I don't know.
[hypnotizing Derek]
Hi Derek! My name's Little Cletus. I'm just a regular kid and want you to know the real truth about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated. Why, back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!
A week? What, are you having a whack attack? I saw you this afternoon, dum-dum.
As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become Derelicte!
At the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really good looking.
But why male models?
Deal with that!
Do as you are trained... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!
Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your "do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way"?...