Movie QuoteDatabase

The Princess Bride 1987 quotes, page 3

113 quotes · 13 characters

The Princess Bride (1987) poster

Characters

Inigo Montoya Mandy Patinkin · 28 quotes

Westley Cary Elwes · 27 quotes

Buttercup 18 quotes

Vizzini Wallace Shawn · 17 quotes

Fezzik André Roussimoff · 14 quotes

Man in Black 14 quotes

Prince Humperdinck Chris Sarandon · 12 quotes

Count Rugen Christopher Guest · 10 quotes

Miracle Max Billy Crystal · 7 quotes

Grandpa 6 quotes

Grandson Fred Savage · 6 quotes

Grandfather Peter Falk · 3 quotes

Valerie Carol Kane · 3 quotes

Most scenes together: Westley & Buttercup (7), Inigo Montoya & Man in Black (6), Inigo Montoya & Fezzik (6)

The Princess Bride quotes

Page 3 of 8

Westley

[wakes up]

Where am I?

The Albino

[raspy voice]

The Pit of Despair! Don't even think... [coughs, clears throat, continues in a normal voice] ...don't even think about trying to escape. The chains are far too thick. Don't dream of being rescued, either; the only way in is secret. Only the Prince, the Count, and I know how to get in and out.

Westley

So I'm here till I die?

The Albino

Until they kill you, yeah.

Westley

Then why bother curing me?

The Albino

Well, the Prince and the Count always insist on everyone being healthy before they're broken.

Westley

So it's to be torture? [Albino nods enthusiastically] I can cope with torture. [Albino shakes head enthusiastically] Don't believe me?

The Albino

You survived the Fire Swamp, so you must be very brave, but no one withstands The Machine.

Westley

Hear this now, I will always come for you.

Buttercup

But how can you be sure?

Westley

This is true love. You think this happens every day?

Westley

Where am I?

Albino

[whispering harshly]

THE PIT OF DESPAIR! DON'T EVEN THINK— [clears his throat and proceeds in a normal voice.] Don't even think about trying to escape.

Fezzik

[A rock smashes into a boulder just in front of the Man in Black] [steps out from a set of boulders holding another rock]

I did that on purpose. I don't have to miss.

Man in Black

I believe you. So what happens now?

Fezzik

We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.

Man in Black

You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people?

Fezzik

[holds up his rock]

I could kill you now.

Man in Black

Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.

Fezzik

It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.

Inigo

[Aboard Vizzini's boat.]

That Vizzini, he can fuss.

Fezzik

Fuss... Fuss... I think he likes to scream at us.

Probably he means no harm.

Fezzik

He's really very short on charm.

You have a great gift for rhyme.

Fezzik

Yes, yes, some of the time.

Vizzini

Enough of that.

Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

Fezzik

If there are, we'll all be dead.

Vizzini

No more rhymes now, I mean it!

Fezzik

Anybody want a peanut?

Vizzini

[screams in frustration]

[As Inigo and Fezzik leave with the miracle pill]

Have fun storming the castle!

Valerie

[aside, to Max]

Do ya think it'll work?

It would take a miracle. [calling out] Bye bye!

Vizzini

[Buttercup encounters Vizzini, Inigo and Fezzik standing by the side of a road.]

A word, m'lady? We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?

Buttercup

There is nothing nearby. Not for miles.

Vizzini

[Fezzik steps toward Buttercup]

Then there will be no one to hear you scream. [Fezzik renders Buttercup unconscious]

King

[Buttercup kisses the old, senile king on the cheek]

What was that for?

Buttercup

Because you've always been so kind to me. And I won't be seeing you again, since I'm killing myself once we reach the Honeymoon Suite.

King

[smiling]

Won't that be nice? [calling out to the Queen] She kissed me!

Vizzini

[Fezzik is climbing a rope up a vertical rock face, carrying Vizzini, Inigo and Buttercup. The Man in Black has started climbing the rope as well.]

Faster!

Fezzik

I thought I was going faster.

Vizzini

You were supposed to be this colossus! You were this great, legendary thing! And yet he gains!

Fezzik

Well, I'm carrying three people. And he's got only himself.

Vizzini

I do not accept excuses! I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all.

Fezzik

Don't say that, Vizzini. Please?

Westley

[Fezzik, Inigo and Westley scare off Yellin's guards with an impressive display involving a holocaust cloak, then prevent Yellin from closing the portcullis at the castle gate.]

Give us the gate key.

Yellin

I have no gate key.

Fezzik, tear his arms off.

Yellin

[pulls out the key]

Oh, you mean this gate key!

Yellin

[Humperdinck orders Yellin to form a brute squad and clear out the Thieves' Den.]

It won't be easy.

Humperdink

Try ruling the world some time.

Max

[Inigo and Fezzik are at Miracle Max's door]

Go away! What? What?

Inigo

Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?

Max

The king's stinking son fired me! And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject! While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed! Beat it or I'll call the Brute Squad!

Fezzik

I'm on the Brute Squad.

Max

[sees Fezzik's size]

You are the Brute Squad!

Inigo

We need a miracle. It's really important.

Max

Look, I'm retired! And, besides, why would you want someone the king's stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you wanted me to miracle!

Inigo

He's already dead!

Max

He is, eh? I'll take a look at him. Bring him in.

Max

[in Max's hut, Fezzik places Wesley's body on the table. Max raises Wesley's limp arm, then drops it]

I've seen worse. [continues examining Wesley]

Inigo

Sir? Sir? We're in a terrible rush.

Max

Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle, man, you get rotten miracles. You got money?

Inigo

Sixty-five.

Max

Sheesh! I've never worked for so little, except once, and that was a very noble cause.

Inigo

This is noble, sir. His wife is crippled. His children are on the brink of starvation.

Max

Are you a rotten liar.

Inigo

I need him to help avenge my father, murdered these 20 years.

[Inigo has been defeated in the duel]

Kill me quickly.

Man in Black

I would as soon destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you following me either... [thumps Inigo in the back of the head with the hilt of his sword, knocking him unconscious] Please understand, I hold you in the highest respect.

[Inigo pounds on a door] [from inside]

Go away!

[Inigo pounds again] [opening a small window in the door]

What? What?

Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the King all those years?

The King's stinking son fired me. And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed! [slams the window closed]

[Inigo pounds again] [opening the window again]

Beat it, or I'll call the Brute Squad!

Fezzik

I'm on the Brute Squad.

[looking at Fezzik]

You are the Brute Squad!

We need a miracle. It's very important.

Look, I'm retired. And besides, why would you want someone the King's stinking son fired? I might kill whoever you wanted me to miracle.

He's already dead.

[pauses]

He is, eh? I'll take a look. Bring him in.

[Inigo, having just been critically injured, gets up and starts advancing on Rugen.]

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

[The two fight for a moment, then pause]

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Stop saying that!

[More fighting ensues. Inigo gains the upper hand.] [yelling]

Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!

No!

[Inigo slices Rugen's cheek]

Now! Offer me money!

Yes!

[Inigo slices the other cheek]

Power too! Promise me that.

All that I have and more. Please...

[steps back and gestures dramatically]

Offer me everything I ask for!

Anything you want!

[Rugen takes another lunge at Inigo. Inigo parries and stabs Rugen through the stomach.]

I want my father back, you son of a bitch. [thrusts his sword into Rugen, then pulls it back out, leaving him to die.]