Grandson quotes from The Princess Bride (1987)

Grandson

Hold it, hold it! What is this? Are you tryin' to trick me? Where's the sports? Is this a kissing book?

Grandson

He'll pinch my cheek. I hate that.

Grandson

Has it got any sports in it?

Grandfather

Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles!

Grandson

Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try and stay awake.

Grandfather

Oh, well, thank you. That's very kind of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.

Grandfather

They rode to freedom. And as dawn arose, Westley and Buttercup knew they were safe. A wave of love swept over them. And as they reached for each other... [closes the book]

Grandson

What? What?

Grandfather

Nah, it's kissing again. You don't want to hear it.

I don't mind so much.

Grandfather

Okay. [opens the book again] Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. [closes the book] The End.

Grandson

Grandpa... maybe you could come back and read it to me again tomorrow?

Grandfather

As you wish.

Humperdinck

She has been like that ever since the Fire Swamp. It's my father's failing health that's upsetting her.

Count Rugen

Of course.

The King died that very night, and before the following dawn, Buttercup and Humperdinck were married. And at noon she met her subjects again, this time as their queen.

Humperdinck

My father's final words were...

Grandson

Hold it! Hold it! Grandpa, you read that wrong. She doesn't marry Humperdinck, she marries Westley. I'm just sure of it. After all that Westley did for her, if she didn't marry him, it wouldn't be fair.

Well, who says life is fair? Where is that written? Life isn't always fair.

Grandson

I'm telling you, you're messing up the story! Now get it right!

Do you want me to go on with this?

Grandson

Yes.

All right, then, no more interruptions. At noon she met her subjects again, this time as their queen.