Carol Kane movie quotes

View Quote [after Curt calls her at the restaurant] Curt Duncan! He's back! He has my BABIES!

View Quote [on the phone, after Curt calls her at the restaurant] Sharon? Please, do me a favor. Just tell me truthfully, when was the last time you CHECKED MY CHILDREN?

View Quote Jill Johnson: [thinking it's Curt again] Leave me alone!
Sgt. Sacker: Jill, this is Sergeant Sacker. Listen to me. We've traced the call... it's coming from inside the house. Now a squad car's coming over there right now, just get out of that house!

View Quote Helga: [to Shane] Tell me, are you licenses to kill?
Shane Wolfe: ...No, ma'am.
Helga: Hmm. Too bad. It could have come in handy.

View Quote Shane Wolfe: Remain calm
Helga: I am calm. I quit! That makes me calm.
Shane Wolfe: Let's not be hasty about this.

View Quote Helga: [to Shane] Tell me, are you licensed to kill?
Shane Wolfe: No, ma'am.
Helga: Hmm. Too bad. It could have come in handy.
[Later , at night, Shane hears noises and rushes downstairs to see Lulu playing video games and Zoe talking on the phone]
Shane Wolfe: Where's the baby? [Lulu points to the kitchen] Is there anyone here who understands the meaning of the word "discipline"?
Helga: Hey, Flipper, you don't like it? Do something. I make bottle. [Peter throws some cereal onto Helga and Tyler cries] Thank you, Peter.

View Quote [As Inigo and Fezzik leave with the miracle pill]
Miracle Max: Have fun storming the castle!
Valerie: [aside, to Max] Do ya think it'll work?
Miracle Max: It would take a miracle. [calling out] Bye bye!

View Quote Valerie: Chocolate coating makes it go down easier.

View Quote [Miracle Max inflates Westley's chest with a bellows.]
Miracle Max: Hey! Hello in there. Hey! What's so important? What you got here that's worth living for? [presses on Westley's chest to force the air back out]
Westley: [faintly] Truuuuueee.... looooooovvveee.....
Inigo Montoya: [excited] True love! You heard him! You could not ask for a more noble cause than that.
Miracle Max: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT, a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky, I love that. But that's not what he said! He distinctly said "to blave." And, as we all know, "to blave" means "to bluff," huh? So you're probably playing cards, and he cheated—
Valerie: [popping out from another room] Liar! LIAR! LI-A-A-AR!
Miracle Max: Get back, witch!
Valerie: I'm not a witch, I'm your wife! But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore!
Miracle Max: You never had it so good.
Valerie: "True love!" He said, "true love," Max! My God—
Miracle Max: Don't say another word, Valerie.
Valerie: [to the others] He's afraid. Ever since Prince Humperdinck fired him, his confidence is shattered.
Miracle Max: Why'd you say that name? You promised me that you would never say that name!
Valerie: What, Humperdinck? Humperdinck. [begins chasing Max around the house] Humperdinck. Ooo-ooo, Humperdinck!
Miracle Max: [holding his hands over his ears] I'm not listening!
Valerie: True love, life expiring and you don't have the decency to say why you won't help!
Miracle Max: Nobody's hearing nothing!
Valerie: [continues repeating "Humperdinck" at Max]
Inigo Montoya: [simultaneously] This is Buttercup's true love! If you heal him, he will stop Humperdinck's wedding.
Miracle Max: [quiets Valerie] Wait, wait- I make him better, Humperdinck suffers?
Inigo Montoya: Humiliations galore!
Miracle Max: [laughs and sings briefly] That is a noble cause! Give me the sixty-five. I'm on the job!